M.B. Weston's Blog, page 30

The Writer’s Descriptive Techniques: #1—Create a Main Impression

Creating a main impression in your scenes will manipulate your readers’ minds into filling in the unwritten details for you.

I have been out of town and away from consistent wifi for over three weeks while I went on vacation and attended DragonCon. I apologize for the lack of writing posts. Now that I’m home, I intend to focus on my blog again. Before my vacation, I had finished a series of blog posts about writing a few weeks ago, and one of those posts dealt with description. (Click here to read my earlier post on description.) Because description will make or break your story, I want to cover it in more detail.

Creating a main impression can be one of your strongest allies when trying to get your readers to fully picture the details in your story. Today, we will focus on the concept of creating a main impression, and over the next few days, I will describe a few techniques.

Creating a Main Impression:

First, I must mention the writer’s quandary: word count. We are bound by word count because of our publisher’s requirements, our own rules, and our readers’ attention spans. We walk a fine line between describing our scenery and boring our readers with too many words. Creating a main impression is a technique that minimizes our word count by getting our readers to imagine the scenery without us describing it in full.

Think about Honeydukes in Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling didn’t give us every detail about the candy shop, but we all felt as though we were right there. When we saw the movie, it fit with our original picture. Rowling created a main impression for us and let our minds create the rest. If you do a good job creating a main impression in your reader’s mind, your reader will fill in many of the details you don’t have time to write. Often, the reader’s mind will create something scarier, more beautiful, or more fearful than you can do on your own.

To create a main impression, we must influence our readers’ emotions.

Reading a good book is an emotional experience. No one sits down to read a good fiction book and hopes it’s boring. Readers want to feel what the characters feel; they want to be part of the journey and experience our world. Everything we do with characters, plot, writing techniques, style, and description is merely a tool that helps feed our readers’ emotional experience.

Take this to the smallest element of your story: the scene. Each scene should create a particular emotion in your reader, and leave him or her with a main impression. This means we need to know the main impression we want to leave our readers with in each scene. Therefore, the first step to creating a main impression: knowing what emotion you are driving at in your scenes.

Go back through your story and concentrate on the scenes. Ask yourself these questions:

What main impression am I trying to leave the reader with here?
What emotions do I want my reader to experience?
Does my writing drive the reader to that emotion? (Yes, it is your job to drive the reader. You are the author. You have to do the work.)
Is the scene kind of “blah?” How can I rev it up? (BTW, if your scene is not emotionally charged, you need to change it.)

You need to know what you want your reader to feel in each scene before you can begin to create a main impression. So get to know your story. Develop an understanding of how you want to affect your reader’s emotions. And stay tuned for the next post where we will be discussing how to choose details that enhance those emotions.

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

In Memory of the 9/11 Victims

FYI, I posted a blog titled “In Memory of the 9/11 Victims” on my personal blog site. Click here to read it.

M. B. Weston’s DragonCon Schedule: Monday, September 3rd

Today, I am not scheduled to be on any panels–so far. However, you can find me wandering the halls of the Atlanta Marriott and the Hilton looking exhausted.

I still have a few books left, so contact me via Twitter or Facebook if you want to purchase one. I’m willing to come find you in return for a cup of coffee!

M. B. Weston’s DragonCon Schedule: Sunday, September 2nd

M. B. Weston’s DragonCon Panel Schedule today is as follows. You can also find her on the DragonCon smartphone app under M. B. Weston (two names under Adam West):

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Title: Reading: M.B. Weston

Time: Sun 10:00 am Location: University – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)

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Title: Autograph Session

Time: Sun 02:30 pm Location: M301 – M304 – Marriott (Length: 1 Hour)

Please note that Ms. Weston will not have a booth this year, but you can still purchase books at both her reading and her autograph session.

M. B. Weston’s DragonCon Schedule: Saturday, September 1st

M. B. Weston’s DragonCon Panel Schedule today is as follows. You can also find her on the DragonCon smartphone app under M. B. Weston (two names under Adam West):

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Title: Belief Systems in SF and Fantasy 102

Description: A further exploration of the various kinds of belief systems found in sf and fantasy.

Time: Sat 02:30 pm Location: Fairlie – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)

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Title: Tolkien & Lewis

Description: Lewis and Tolkien and Fantasy and Faerie. Author M.B. Weston, Professor Constance Wagner and more!

Time: Sat 07:00 pm Location: Hanover C – E – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)

Please note that Ms. Weston will not have a booth this year, but you can still purchase books at both her reading and her autograph session on Sunday.

MB Weston’s DragonCon Schedule, Friday, August 31st

M. B. Weston’s DragonCon Panel Schedule today is as follows. You can also find her on the DragonCon smartphone app under M. B. Weston (two names under Adam West):

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Title: Coming of Age

Description: YA authors talk about the books they read as teens.

Time: Fri 10:00 am Location: A707 – Marriott (Length: 1 Hour)

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Title: Villains in the Potterverse

Description: A discussion of those characters you love to hate: the bad boys and girls in Harry Potter’s world.

Time: Fri 02:30 pm Location: International South – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)

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Title: The Hunger Games- From Page to Screen

Description: So you’ve read the Hunger Games books, and you’ve seen the first movie. How did it fare in the transition from book to movie?

Time: Fri 05:30 pm Location: Hanover C – E – Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)

Please note that Ms. Weston will not have a booth this year, but you can still purchase books at both her reading and her autograph session on Sunday.

The Writing Process: Example of a Final Draft

 

If you are new to this website, I have been writing a series of blog posts about the writing process. During one of those posts, I gave an example of a pre-draft using one of my earlier drafts of a short story called “The White Rider,” which will soon be featured in an urban fantasy anthology by Kerlak Publishing.

As a final wrap up to my “Writing Process Series,” I’m posting the final draft of the prologue, so you can see the changes I made after the pre-draft. Click here to read the original pre-draft to see how drastic the changes are. I will also be adding a few footnotes every now and then to explain why I made certain changes and what part of the process helped me.

Elysian Chronicles fans, take note: “The White Rider” is actually part of the Elysian Chronicles world, and it takes place between Out of the Shadows and Book III. In this short story, I give just a few clues about where the series is heading, and trust me, it’s nothing you are expecting.

I shoved a piece of bread speckled with mold into my mouth. I convulsed as I chewed and forced myself to swallow. I had not eaten in a week, and moldy bread was better than no bread. You’ve swallowed worse, I reminded myself (1). I shook the crumbs off my matted beard (2). Don’t start getting prissy again.

I crouched behind the dumpster near a restaurant door’s inviting glow. The patrons’ voices and the soft clinking of silverware (3) comforted me. Part of me cautioned myself to keep my distance, but I yearned for human interaction that I had not enjoyed in months.

You’re safe, another part of me said. No one will venture near this dumpster, and if they do, they’ll run away from your stench. I had not bathed in weeks, and my tattered clothes—once a dress-shirt and pants—reeked of perspiration and filth.(4)

I flexed my fingers, trying to keep circulation flowing. Though it was only late afternoon, the December air hovered near freezing (5). I leaned against the dumpster and listened, wishing I spoke Romanian (6).

Glass shattered at the end of the alley (7). I crouched behind a few stacked boxes and peeked out. My heart started to pound.

I inhaled for five seconds, counting each beat—the quickest way I knew to calm my fear.

They lost your trail in Italy, I reminded myself.

I exhaled for five seconds, again counting each beat.

Another part of me chimed in. They might have picked your trail up again.

Inhale. One, two, three, four, five (8). I focused on the alley, searching the trash, scraps of metal, and shadows for movement. My fingers combed the ground for a potential weapon (9). I found a metal pipe and pulled it to my chest(10) in silence. Only my breath turning to fog (11) betrayed (12) my existence behind the dumpster.

A shadow leapt across the walls twenty feet away.

My body tingled with adrenaline (13). I laced (14) my fingers around the pipe and crouched, ready to spring once whatever it was showed itself.

A tomcat emerged from the darkness and hobbled toward me. I released the pipe. My heart rate slowed as the old thing wound around my leg.

Stupid cat.

I offered it the last of my bread. After a few sniffs, the cat took the morsel and sat next to me as it ate. I ran my hand down its fur, ignoring the fleas and dirt (15). It curled up next to me and purred. I had to admit it was nice to have a temporary companion—especially a warm one.

I twirled my Princeton class ring around my finger, and again contemplated pawning it. I had already sold my prized gold cuff links. Keep the ring, I told myself. I needed something to remind me of my former life. The ring would also identify my body if I died (16), and my brother would finally know what happened to me. Though I had not seen him for six months, thoughts of Dean still made me grin. (17)

The street lights flickered. Night was approaching. I hid my thoughts of Dean away and grabbed the pipe. I needed all my senses alert to outsmart those who pursued me. Please understand, of all those who have been hunting (18) me, I fear the humans the least. (19)

I want the reader to realize how dire Peter’s situation is.
“Matted beard” tells the reader a bit of what Peter looks like, always difficult to do when writing in1st person, and it tells the reader Peter’s state of cleanliness. It’s also a good sensory detail.
Sensory details: Close your eyes and picture yourself right outside a restaurant. What do you hear? Voices and silverware, so I added it in.
Sensory details
Sensory details
Romanian is a specific language, and it indicates the country he is in.
I changed “something crashed” to “glass shattered.” Glass shattered is more specific, and it creates a real sound in the reader’s head.
I added the inhale, exhale parts for two reasons: 1) It shows Peter fears something and the extent to which he fears it, and 2) readers will get bored without a conversation or a break in long paragraphs. Because I open with Peter being alone, I decided to show his thoughts to break up the narrative.
I wanted the reader to feel the ground and the dirt and grime without taking too much time. “Fingers combed the ground” seemed like a good way to indicate sensory details and also urgency.
I don’t remember my original wording, but “pulled it to my chest” was suggested by an advance reader.
Sensory detail, breath turning to fog is a visual image the reader can use.
I used “betrayed” because the word has a negative connotation, and its shows forces acting against my character.
Sensory details.
“Laced” creates a better picture than “wrapped,” and I can thank my advance readers for this one.
Sensory details added.
I added this to show that Peter’s death could happen at any time. He is resigned to it, and it is almost academic for him. This should make the reader wonder about him.
I added in Dean here, since he is a key character in the story.
Note the use of “pursue” and “hunt”. You will see on my original draft that I used “hunt” twice. I needed to change it, and a thesaurus helped.
This is my hook. I want to jolt the reader a bit here. I’m hoping for this series of emotional reaction to the story: “Oh, this poor person hiding in the street. -> Why is he there? -> Who is he afraid of? It must be really bad for him to be hiding out for this long. -> Wait. He went to Princeton? How did he end up here? -> What on earth is chasing him?” I hope it works.

I hope this series has helped a few of you with your writing. I will be continuing with writing posts after Labor Day, as soon as I return from DragonCon.

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

 

Recap of The Writing Process Posts

Over the past month, I have posted a few articles on my blog about the writing process. If you missed them, here they are:

The Writing Process: Part 1 – Getting Your Inspiration
The Writing Process: Part 2 – The Conflict
The Writing Process: Part 3 – Plot: Your Story’s Skeleton
The Writing Process: Part 4 – The “Pre-Draft”
The Writing Process: Example of a “Pre-Draft”
The Writing Process: Part 5 – The First Draft (A)
The Writing Process: Part 5 – The First Draft (B) Description
The Writing Process: Part 6 – Cutting Your Darlings
The Writing Process: Part 7 – Editing for Grammar & Style
The Writing Process Part 8 – Using Advance Readers
The Writing Process Part 9 – Dealing With Critique
The Writing Process Part 10 – Read Your Manuscript Out Loud

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

The Writing Process Part 10 – Read Your Manuscript Out Loud

Don’t neglect the last, and most important step in the writing process: reading your work out loud.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked via Twitter: “Mrs. @mbweston, what’s your writing process?” To answer his question, I’ve been writing a series of blog posts about how I go about my personal writing process. So far, we’ve covered:

The Writing Process: Part 1 – Getting Your Inspiration
The Writing Process: Part 2 – The Conflict
The Writing Process: Part 3 – Plot: Your Story’s Skeleton
The Writing Process: Part 4 – The “Pre-Draft”
The Writing Process: Example of a “Pre-Draft”
The Writing Process: Part 5 – The First Draft (A)
The Writing Process: Part 5 – The First Draft (B) Description
The Writing Process: Part 6 – Cutting Your Darlings
The Writing Process: Part 7 – Editing for Grammar & Style
The Writing Process Part 8 – Using Advance Readers
The Writing Process Part 9 – Dealing With Critique

You’ve applied the changes your advance readers suggested, and you are ready to send your manuscript to the publisher, right?

Not yet.

I highly suggest, if possible, that you read the story out loud. This might sound crazy, but it’s a good final step to catch the rest of the errors you might have missed. (I admit I have skipped this step more than once when I have been on deadline, but I don’t recommend it unless it’s necessary.)

When I first read through A Prophecy Forgotten (my first novel) out loud, it took me about 12 hours, and I lost my voice. Now, I use a text-to-speech website: http://text-to-speech.imtransl0ator.net/. It reads exactly what I have written, such as when I write though and meant through. You can also download text-to-speech apps on your smart phone or tablet.

These are a few things you will catch when you read your manuscript out loud. (Remember, I’ve compiled this list because I’ve made all of these mistakes and only caught them when I read my manuscript out loud.):

Missing words. Believe it or not, when you read, your brain inserts words that aren’t there that are supposed to be there. Somehow, the process of speaking what your read forces your brain to read what is actually there.
Words that look similar but aren’t. Though and through are good examples of this.
Words that sound similar but aren’t. Two, too, and to.
Missing commas. I find several places where I need commas when I read out loud.
Run-on sentences. That triple compound sentence you thought was so brilliant simply might not read well. I’m the compound sentence queen, and I’m convinced half of the periods in my novels wouldn’t exist without reading my work out loud.
Final cut/paste problems. I’ve often done a cut and paste and neglected to reread the sentence to make sure it makes sense.
Grammar problems resulting from grammar fixes. Sometimes a grammar fix requires fixing more than one word. For instance, if you want to change “He had been waiting,” to “He waited,” you need to change three words. If you read it out loud, you might discover your “corrected” sentence actually reads: “He waiting.”
Silly dialogue. You will find that some of your dialogue sounds incredibly stupid when you read it out loud. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Fix it.
Other places full of “stupid”. Sometimes, phrases sound brilliant in our heads, yet cheesy when we actually hear the words out loud. You want to catch all of your stupid phrases before your publisher and your readers do.

Read your manuscript out loud and send it off as soon as possible, especially since you are probably sick of it by now. Once it’s gone, make sure to reward yourself for all your hard work! You deserve it!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.

The Writing Process Part 9 – Dealing With Critique

Handling criticism is one of the most important parts of creating a great story.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked via Twitter: “Mrs. @mbweston, what’s your writing process?” To answer his question, I’ve been writing a series of blog posts about how I go about my personal writing process. So far, we’ve covered:

The Writing Process: Part 1 – Getting Your Inspiration
The Writing Process: Part 2 – The Conflict
The Writing Process: Part 3 – Plot: Your Story’s Skeleton
The Writing Process: Part 4 – The “Pre-Draft”
The Writing Process: Example of a “Pre-Draft”
The Writing Process: Part 5 – The First Draft (A)
The Writing Process: Part 5 – The First Draft (B) Description
The Writing Process: Part 6 – Cutting Your Darlings
The Writing Process: Part 7 – Editing for Grammar & Style

You can hear critiques from your advance readers two ways: 1) in person, or 2) through their notes and comments. Some of my readers hand me their notes and let me have at it. Others like to sit down, usually over coffee, and discuss their findings with me. The latter method is the most thorough, but the former doesn’t sting as much.

The most important thing to remember: when your reader doesn’t understand something, it’s your fault. As the writer, it’s your job to communicate your story to the reader. If your readers are confused, it’s your fault for failing to communicate that part of the story properly. Don’t argue with them. Ask for advice on how you can change it. Above all, don’t yell.

However, I will not say that the advance reader is always right. Someone’s decision to like or dislike your story is a matter of opinion, and opinions will differ widely among your advance readers. My funniest example of this: In the original version of Out of the Shadows, I killed off a dragon named Kinole who had become my hero’s ally. Two of my best advance readers, @JillEBond and Sasha, wrote differing comments on the manuscript:

Jill: “I can’t believe you killed Kinole, you *expletive*!”
Sasha: “I’m glad Kinole is dead. He was annoying me.”

At first, I had no idea what to do about such differing opinions. I knew something about the scene affected both readers on an emotional level, but I was unsure how to fix it. I decided that Jill’s emotional reaction was stronger, and I cut the death scene. (Jill’s argument that a cute, stuffed-animal dragon would be a great seller also kept poor Kinole alive.) However, something about Kinole annoyed Sasha, so I toned a few of those qualities down.

Because your advance readers will have separate opinions, keep these principles in mind when reading their critiques:

Don’t begin making changes until you read through most of the critiques. See the above for my reasoning on this. (However, make grammar changes right away if you can.)
When you receive opposing critiques, try to figure out the heart of the issue before deciding what to do. See the Kinole illustration for details.
Some of your readers aren’t going to like characters that the majority of people may love. One of my readers despises my main character, Davian. This reader is in the minority, and I know the motivations behind his disgust. I keep that in mind when I am reading his comments.
Your readers might have different tastes in writing than you and your audience. A person who reads only romance probably won’t like my writing. However, taste differences often go deeper than genre. One of my readers prefers adjective-filled, flowery writing and often inserts ideas for description that don’t match my style. I’m not a flowery writer—especially when it comes to emotion. I would rather show the reader my character’s reaction and let the reader imagine the rest. That’s me, but it’s not everyone. I don’t want to change my writing’s voice, but I do want to pay attention to anything that might make my writing better. I usually end up taking a few key descriptive words out of this person’s comments, and make it work in my own voice.
If all your readers comment on a particular section, but their comments are different, you may have a larger, structural problem that needs fixing. I’ve noticed that when one section gets too many comments that don’t fit, I either haven’t explained myself enough earlier, I need to adjust a plot issue, or I need to alter the paragraph. Often I find that the change the story actually needs has nothing to do with my readers’ comments, but it fixes all of them.
On that note, don’t change something huge before thinking it through first. Always consider the heart of the issue. One of my readers suggested I change Tommy to a twelve year old instead of a seven year old in A Prophecy Forgotten . His reasoning: when I wrote scenes from Tommy’s point of view, it made him feel disjointed. The problem was not Tommy’s age. It was switching from writing in an adult point of view to writing in a child’s point of view. I solved the problem by eliminating Tommy’s point of view entirely, which also added to the novel’s suspense by making him unpredictable.
Just because your readers don’t like it doesn’t mean it isn’t necessary. In this case, I’m referring to killing off characters, but you can apply it to your specific situation. I killed off two popular characters in Out of the Shadows . Both deaths were necessary, especially for my third book, and a few people didn’t like it.
Some people are just overly critical or don’t know what they are talking about. If one of your advance readers seems unreasonably critical, treats you with condescension, or seems like he has no idea what he is talking about, ignore the comments and don’t use him (or her) on your next manuscript. After a few tries, you will know who you can trust and who you can’t.
Remember that your readers are in ultra-critical mode because you need them to be in ultra-critical mode. Take it easy on yourself. Your readers are looking for errors because you have instructed them to do so. Chances are, the people who read your story for fun probably wouldn’t have noticed.
Last but not least, remember that every writer makes these mistakes. You are not a failure because your draft contains mistakes that you missed. You are a success because you are willing to seek help and listen to advice. This is part of the process of producing a final manuscript.

Above all, remember to thank your readers for their time. I try to 1) mention my advance readers in the acknowledgements section of my novels and 2) give them a free, signed copy of the novel when it comes out. Try to do something similar, especially if you want them to keep reading for you.

Once you apply your advance readers’ suggested changes, you’re almost done! You only have one step left, and that is the next post!

Fantasy novelist M. B. Weston is the author of The Elysian Chronicles, a fantasy series about guardian angel warfare and treason. Weston speaks to children, teens, and adults about writing and the process of getting published. For more information on M. B. Weston, visit www.mbweston.com. Find out more about The Elysian Chronicles at www.elysianchronicles.com.