Deby Fredericks's Blog, page 59

Break It Up

… With dialogue, that is.

One of my favorite techniques when revising is to bring in more dialogue between characters. After all, humans are inherently social. One might even say we’re nosy. Dialogue is a really great way to draw readers in and show them who the characters are.

Writers can pack in a lot of subtle information through conversation. Who wants something from the others? Who has lower status? Who is being honest and who is being sneaky? Writers should always make our passages pull double duty when we can.

Currently I’m working on Lorrah’s arc, and she is traveling with Badger Squad. Some of you will remember my women warriors from the first volume, The Tower in the Mist. There are six of them. I don’t want them to be faceless minions. So having them chatter — with Lorrah or with each other — is one way to bring them to life.

Dialogue is also great for breaking up long passages of description, or the dreaded info-dump. Why have a character sitting there, pondering a problem, when they could be talking about it with someone?

Have you read one of my books? Then it would be great for you to leave a review! Meanwhile, if you’d like to learn more about me and my work, check out my web site, Facebook, Instagram and/or Twitter.

Revising

Yep, I’m down to it. Revisions have begun on Prisoners of the Wailing Tower. I’ve started with Lorrah’s plot arc, which is somewhat simpler. This will give me extra “think time” on Alemin’s more complicated arc.

Of course, there are issues. I’ve discovered that I repeated myself a few times — and I’m only in the third segment. It seems I was trying to orient myself as I started the new section, but I really don’t need to describe the same camp site twice. So I’ll have to decide where that description has the most impact. This is not entirely a bad thing, since I want to reduce the novella’s total length by at least 10,000 words.

On the other hand, Lorrah’s character was somewhat vague when I started work on the first draft. Now that I know her better, I’m having new thoughts about her situation. These allow me to strengthen and focus her character.

I would say it’s a work in progress, but that would be a cliche. However true it might be!

Have you read one of my books? Then it would be great for you to leave a review! Meanwhile, if you’d like to learn more about me and my work, check out my web site, Facebook, Instagram and/or Twitter.

Shuffle On

I’ve been working away on the second draft of Prisoners of the Wailing Tower, and I think I have the plot more in order. Thanks to those of you who commented on my question last time. I really appreciate it. Lorrah’s act of courage does have more impact. However, I’ll probably work that twist in there somehow, for pacing purposes.

I now have a better arrangement of plot events, especially on Lorrah’s arc. Alemin’s still may need work. While I fiddle with those ideas, I’m also making a list of all the other prisoners in the Larder and giving each one a few quirks. Same with the prison guards. There really needs to be more than one guard with a name.

By the end of the week, I expect to actually be re-arranging my printed plot sections so I can start on the second draft. Because so much extensive work needs to be done, I will not be editing the existing text. Instead, I’ll start a whole new document. More typos may creep in this way, but I find the text has a fresh flow when I do it this way.

Meanwhile, I’ll be working on each of the two POV characters separately. This should allow me to focus on making their arcs stronger. In the end, I’ll be able to weave them back together in a single manuscript.

I hope you’re all keeping safe and able to rally some concentration on your writing.

Have you read one of my books? Then it would be great for you to leave a review! Meanwhile, if you’d like to learn more about me and my work, check out my web site, Facebook, Instagram and/or Twitter.

Plot Advice

Thank goodness! My new/old computer is back in business. There are just one or two sites that I’m still trying to recover the login info for. That lets me get on with the book map for Prisoners of the Wailing Tower.

And I’ve already discovered an issue! I forgot that I gave the bad gal, Ar-Lizelle, some minor mental powers at the start of the book. In fact, these crop up throughout the plot. But, at the end of the book, her sister Lorrah uses a very similar mental power to knock her out and escape. So I’ll either have to take Ar-Lizelle’s mental powers away, or think of a new way for Lorrah to escape.

Actually, this connects with a plot issue that I’d love to get advice from all you writers. Through much of the novella, Lorrah is afraid of her sister and refuses to go into an area where she might have to confront her. But, by the end, Lorrah voluntarily goes into that area to draw Ar-Lizelle away from something else that’s going on.

Here’s my question: is it better to keep it this way, or should I allow Lorrah to think she’s avoiding the situation and then have Ar-Lizelle figure out where she is and come after her? In the first option, Lorrah makes a courageous decision. In the second, the plot gets a major twist.

What do you guys think? Should I go for the plot twist or the character growth? Not that I promise to follow a majority vote or anything — it’s still my story — but I’m genuinely interested in your thoughts.

Have you read one of my books? Then it would be great for you to leave a review! Meanwhile, if you’d like to learn more about me and my work, check out my web site, Facebook, Instagram and/or Twitter.

Computer Swap

Yesterday, out of the blue, my son offered to upgrade my computer. Shared activities have been tough with this guy, so I took him up on it. Besides which, my computer was from 2012 and overdue for maintenance.

The hardware part went fast. He gave me an updated motherboard, a solid state drive (he’s very big on solid state drives) and a better graphics card. These were parts he was salvaging from a friend’s old machine, so I didn’t even have to pay for them.

Now comes the harder part, transferring the data from the previous drive and setting it all up again. We tried to transfer my profile over, but no, that would be much too easy. Copying photos and documents is simple enough, but the most of the programs were about as old as the computer. I’ll have to go through one at a time, decide if I still need/want them, and re-install things.

Do I have discs for these? No, silly! Except, miraculously, I did find the disc with my printer drivers on it.

So that’s what I’m up to today. Visiting my usual web sites and updating bookmarks. In a few cases, I’ll have to decide whether to buy software again. It’s going to be quite a project. I hope to be done by Friday, but who knows?

Good thing I was done with Prisoners of the Wailing Tower!

Book Mapping

It kind of came as a surprise, but I have pretty much found my way to the end of Prisoners of the Wailing Tower! Lorrah distracted her mean big sister, and managed to show off her magical chops. That allowed Alemin to escape from the Larder with all his fellow prisoners. I just have a couple of wrap-up sections where the characters reflect on what they achieved. And I need a great final scene, of course.

Once that’s blocked out, I’ll get to work on revisions. Most of what I have is good, but some things need to be discovered a lot sooner. I also want to trim length; the other novellas are 30-40 thousand words, and Prisoners is nearly 50 thousand. To get a handle on that, my first step will be to make a book map.

What is that? So glad you asked.

Book maps are a way to analyze the plot and figure out where the weak points are. There are lots of methods. Some people use index cards and move them around until they like the flow. Others use storyboard software.

My method is to make a chart using my word processor, WordPerfect. For each section of the manuscript, I’ll briefly describe the action and note a few details like new characters being introduced. I’ll also color-code them to show which POV the sections are in.

With two points of view, Lorrah and Alemin, it’s important that both of them have a satisfying plot arc. So after mapping the book, I can read their sections separately. Once I have a good arc for both of them, it will be pretty easy to weave them back together and polish the sections that I just slammed out to finish the draft.

Yes, revisions are a pain. But I know what I need to do, and I’m actually excited to get this manuscript in shape. So instead of being mad at it, I can be proud to publish it.

Meanwhile, I hope you’re all having a safe and relaxing Fourth of July.

Have you read one of my books? Then it would be great for you to leave a review! Meanwhile, if you’d like to learn more about me and my work, check out my web site, Facebook, Instagram and/or Twitter.

Woman at Work, Part 5

What a rush! Queen Titania’s Court, my month-long fantasy book feature, is done for this year. I’m very happy with how it came out. Thanks so much to my fellow authors, who were great fun to work with. Thanks also to those of you who commented, shared, and helped spread the fantasy book love.

What’s Happening: I’m officially on my summer schedule. My district opted to use all of the days in our contract that were held for snow emergencies, so the last day of school was pushed back to June 19th. It was a very weird last third of the school year, but 2020 is turning out to be such a weird year that it’s hardly worth mentioning. I am still going by the school two days a week, to keep up with weeding the garden. The custodians seem genuinely happy to have someone to talk to.

Work in Progress: Prisoners of the Wailing Tower. (Still!) It’s been going slowly, what with a few distractions and all. I also began writing without having made some key plot decisions, and that always bites me in the butt. At the moment I’ve given up on polishing the prose in any way. I’m just slamming out the plot to finish the draft. I expect that to happen before the end of this month.

What’s Next: Revisions on Prisoners of the Wailing Tower. Normally I let a draft settle and go do other things. With this one, I hate it so much that I’ll probably go straight into the second draft. My plan was to publish it this November. However, it has to be up to my standards. If I’m not able to do that, I have a backup plan. That’s something I’ll get into when and if it happens.

Fun and Games: I’m currently playing Animal Crossing (for the cute/ chill/ creative/ vibe) and Dragon Age: Inquisition. Inquisition is a huge, sprawling fantasy RPG. It’s also a big inspiration for my Minstrels of Skaythe series. It’s good to go back to the well every once in a while. In addition to video games, my regular role-playing group is playing D&D Third edition online via Discord. My character is a rogue archer who scoffs at rules. I also have a stack of jigsaw puzzles that I can really concentrate on now that I’m on summer break.

I hope you all are staying safe and well.

Have you read one of my books? Then it would be great for you to leave a review! Meanwhile, if you’d like to learn more about me and my work, check out my web site, Facebook, Instagram and/or Twitter.

Queen Titania’s Court — The Ice Witch of Fang Marsh, by Deby Fredericks

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Meven paused at the top of a staircase, stunned by the glittering kaleidoscope of people and creatures before her. Music swirled in visible clouds above a huge assembly that danced with varying degrees of grace or enthusiasm. Meven’s sarong of pale green swamp linen seemed inadequate compared to the other revelers’ gaudy attire. Natural pearls gleamed against her brown arms and neck as she raised hand to check that her jet black hair was still contained in its tall bun.

A scornful snort drew her attention downward. “Why did we have to come here?” Ozlin, her mageling, wore a short sarong of similar fabric. An arc of pale scars crossed his dark-skinned chest. His thicket of black curls was held back by a simple headband.

“The world is wide,” she said. “You must learn to work with all sorts of people.”

The boy slouched irritably. As Meven slowly descended the steps, she looked around for something that might catch his interest. Across from the steps, a magnificent window was open to admit a stream of fireflies and tiny sprites. An elfin man, all in green, spoke seriously to a large, gray-skinned person. Another man, in a dark blue uniform, stood alone with a glass in his hand. He appeared to be watching the throng with wary fascination. Meanwhile, a gentleman in a fine black cloak lined in scarlet, bowed low before the queen of all fairies. Surely any one of them would have fascinating stories to share.

Then Meven spotted the one sure attraction. “Oz, look at all the food.”

Ozlin’s eyes brightened. Table after table was laid out with lavish fruits, meats, cheeses, pastries, and all sorts of drinks. Nearby, a young girl with silver hair and an ornate ball gown was reaching down to pet a large puppy. A ragged rabbit hovered just above her shoulder.

“Go say hello,” Meven urged, then chuckled. Her mageling had already darted off toward the feast. She hoped he wouldn’t get into too much trouble.

As for herself, Meven headed toward the reception line, so that she too could pay honor to her hostess. This was going to be a night to remember.

The Ice Witch of Fang Marsh

Meven is a renegade, hunted by the cruel regime of master mage Dar-Gothull. Her desperate desire is to lose herself in the treacherous Fang Marsh. Only there can she live the life she wants, in freedom and safety. To reach the marsh, Meven must sneak through the town of Eshur, where her old enemy, the wicked Countess Ar-Torix, commands dozens of spies and guards. It should be no problem!

What Meven doesn’t know is that she’s already being tracked. Ozlin was thrown out because of his emerging magic. Now he’s starving on the streets of Eshur. Caught stealing, he’s about to be imprisoned in the brutal temple school.

Until Meven recognizes his power and intervenes. Suddenly she has a new, desperate desire — to save this mageling boy, and maybe save herself as well.

The Author



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Deby Fredericks has been a writer all her life, but thought of it as just a fun hobby until the late 1990s. Her first professional sale, a children’s poem, was in 2000. Since then she has published six novels through two small presses, and seen her work appear in magazines such as Boys’ Life and Cricket Magazine. Currently she is self-publishing a series of high fantasy novellas, Minstrels of Skaythe. Find out more at her web site, www.debyfredericks.com.

Queen Titania’s Court — Dragon’s Fall, by David Lee Summers

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The doors opened and Desmond, Lord Draco, strode into the hall, tall and proud. He was dressed all in black save for his white shirt and the red lining of his cape. He took a moment to eye all the attendees, then strode to Queen Titania. He pushed the cape back, then bowed low.

“Your servant, Your Majesty,” he said.

Character Questions

Is there something you are willing to die for?

As a vampire, I honestly hope I will never die. Unlike some of my brooding kindred who become bored with life, I always find new challenges and it helps that the world is ever changing. That said, I am all too aware that vampires may be killed. I have and will risk death for knowledge. I’m especially interested in the origins of humans and vampires, and whether or not there is truth behind the religions humans profess. I have seen marvels that make me think there must be some truth, but I wonder if it is a complete truth.

Would you rather sneak into a dragon’s den or attend a demonic parliament?

What a marvelous question, for you see when I was mortal, I was a “dragon” in the court of Ambrosius Aurelianus. It was a title much like “lord” or “baron” to more recent generations and the chief among us was the pendragon. What’s more, as a vampire, many say we are possessed by demons.

Alas, I have never seen a real dragon, despite carrying a banner emblazoned with one. Still, I do wonder if they exist somewhere, more hidden even than us vampires. Despite what people say, I don’t believe a demon possesses me. I have always been “Desmond” and although I have gained immortality, great strength, and a thirst for blood, I find no evidence that a demon possesses me.

So, which would I rather see? Demons to determine their nature and decide if it’s possible I am possessed by one or dragons to revel in their power and strength? It would be a hard choice if presented to me, but I think I would visit the demonic parliament because I might learn more about my origins and the marvelous, mysterious clockwork universe.

Tell us about the main religion or spirituality of your society?

I believe the religions of my world are known to you, but it has been fascinating to see how different religions have ebbed and flowed through the world during my long life. As a child we worshipped many gods, such as Brigid, the goddess of healing, and Lugh, the god of war. My birth name was, in fact Angus Desmond. Angus was the god of choice and love. Learned people called druids made it their job to understand the world around us. They told us about the gods and told us when it was time to plant and when to harvest and helped us make sense of the cycles of the world.

Even in my youth, I knew of a second religion in Britain called Christianity, which told of a god’s son and his doctrine of love and forgiveness. It’s said the religion came to Britain soon after the death of Jesus and in fact, Wolf, the vampire who brought me into the world of darkness, said he met Joseph of Arimathea who carried the cup of Christ himself. The cup captivated him and he thought it could bring forgiveness to vampire-kind but it was guarded by a powerful creature. I believe Christians call it an angel. Wolf and I engaged the help of an old acquaintance of mine called Arthur to find that cup. And you know what? We found it, but it was just an object, though it was still guarded by one of these angels. So you see, I have reason to wonder about what these religions teach.

I also know of a religion professed by the Ottoman Turks. I’m hard pressed to see many differences between their Islamic faith and Christianity. Mostly the differences are in the details and doctrines, but the two are in conflict over parts of Europe and the Holy Lands. While the conflict challenges my goal of seeking knowledge, it does keep me well employed as a mercenary.

Author Questions

If you lived in the world of your book, who would you be?

No question I would be Daniel McKee from Vampires of the Scarlet Order, the sequel to Dragon’s Fall. Daniel is an astronomer who became a vampire while working at Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, Arizona during the 1800s. He was a creature of the night before he became a vampire and the improved night vision he gained as a vampire makes his work as an astronomer even better. His fashion sense still leans toward the fashions he wore as a human in the 1880s, so in today’s world he’d fit in very well in the steampunk community!

Are your books self-published or traditionally published, and why did you choose that route into print?

The first editions of the Scarlet Order vampire novels were traditionally published by Lachesis Publishing. I submitted Vampires of the Scarlet Order to LBF Books back in 2007 at the urging of the company’s art director who had read a chapter and loved it. LBF bought the book. During my time with LBF, the company’s owner encouraged me to try my hand at NaNoWriMo. One of the NaNoWriMo novels I wrote was the first draft of Dragon’s Fall. After that, LBF was acquired by Lachesis and my new publisher asked for a new vampire novel. I returned to Dragon’s Fall, polished it according to their guidelines, and submitted it. I received a contract soon afterward.

The contracts on the two novels have recently expired and the rights reverted to me. Dragon’s Fall: Rise of the Scarlet Order Vampires is just out in its new self-published edition and Vampires of the Scarlet Order will follow soon. Self-publishing new editions gave me the opportunity to update the covers and make some revisions I felt were needed.

Have you ever been on a writer’s pilgrimage?

When my daughter went to college in New Orleans, each trip became something of a writer’s pilgrimage for me. Anne Rice, who lived there for many years, was one of the authors who inspired me to try my hand at writing vampire fiction. In fact, there are some scenes in Vampires of the Scarlet Order, the sequel to Dragon’s Fall, which are set in Louisiana bayou country, which exist as something of a tribute to Anne Rice.

During my first trip to New Orleans, I brought Anne Rice’s novel Merrick and made a point of becoming familiar with the neighborhoods in the novel. In a later trip, I made a point of visiting a bookstore that specialized in signed editions and bought a signed copy of one of Rice’s novels. What’s more, I’ve been honored that Boutique du Vampyre in New Orleans has hosted signings for my vampire novels. It’s a real honor to have my work celebrated in the hometown of one of my favorite authors.

Dragon’s Fall (Rise of the Scarlet Order #1)

Three vampyrs. Three lives. Three intertwining stories.

Bearing the guilt of destroying the holiest of books after becoming a vampyr, the Dragon, Lord Desmond searches the world for lost knowledge, but instead, discovers truth in love.

Born a slave in Ancient Greece, Alexandra craves freedom above all else, until a vampyr sets her free, and then, she must pay the highest price of all—her human soul.

An assassin who lives in the shadows, Roquelaure is cloaked even from himself, until he discovers the power of friendship and loyalty.

Three vampyrs, traveling the world by moonlight—one woman and two men who forge a bond made in love and blood. Together they form a band of mercenaries called the Scarlet Order, and recruit others who are like them. Their mission is to protect kings and emperors against marauders, invaders, and rogue vampyrs—and their ultimate nemesis—Vlad the Impaler.

The Author



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David Lee Summers lives in Southern New Mexico at the cusp of the western and final frontiers. He’s written novels about space pirates, vampire mercenaries, mad scientists in the old west, and astronomer ghosts. He’s edited thrilling anthologies of space adventure that imagine what worlds discovered by NASA’s Kepler mission might be like. When he’s not writing or editing, David explores the universe for real at Kitt Peak National Observatory. To learn more about David or his books visit his website at http://www.davidleesummers.com

Queen Titania’s Court — Orange Sun, Gray Sky, by Alden Loveshade

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Fyrnux was used to maintaining self-control — but not in front of royalty. No teacher had taught how to properly enter the court of a queen. That was something for the people of the Malvin-Jullian Empire, not the Simmerian-Phi Alliance. Fyrnux hadn’t even known what to wear, but decided on a student uniform. The third-year student wore grey regulation pants and jacket, the latter with three silver pips on the left shoulder and underneath a brown and green plaid blouse. The grey-skinned Fyrnux had long straight black hair flowing freely overall, as was proper. Fyrnux had thought about marching in, but remembered this was not to be military formal, so tried walking in normally–but respectfully. “Be yourself,” Fyrnux thought, nervously.

Character Questions

Is there something you are willing to die for?

Oh my goodness, your Majesty, I really do not want to die, not yet! I am still a young student, studying to become a counselor.

I want to help people, like my new friend Oystra, who is starting as an exchange student on my world, Vonyai. Oystra is from Gepra, and is what is called a “female.” They have people there called “males,” too. I do not know how they are different, but want to live to learn! And I cannot counsel people if I am dead!

Which is more powerful – a wish or a curse?

Your Majesty, I believe a wish is for something you want that is good, a curse is for something bad. So I believe the more powerful would be a wish.

Tell us about the main religion or spirituality of your society.

Many generations ago, people on my world, Vonyai, were different, your Majesty. They had different skin colors and different genders, two, I think. Of course they did not get along with each other. After the Great Race War, people were all made the same so we could live in peace. We all have grey skin and black hair, and are all genderless. And people reproduce properly now, not like beasts do. Oh, I did not mean that as an offense to Oystra’s people!

We do have different eye colors, Yellow and Indigo, so of course we are raised separately. But both colors are allowed at my university so we can learn about each other. My world treats people fairly, so Yellows and Indigos live separate, but equal.

Author Questions

Who would be your ideal reader?

Would it be too obvious to say someone who likes what I write? That said, I like to challenge people’s thinking, and strive to challenge my own.

Most of my professional writing has been journalism in the much too rare “tell the truth and nothing but the truth” tradition. In fiction, I go back to my roots, which are tangled and interlocking. While I’m classified as a non-Hispanic Caucasian male, my three closest friends before I started school were all girls. As a boy, I learned Native American dancing on an Indian reservation and performed locally. I ran a computer lab at a school that was 80% Hispanic, tutored international students, and have a minor from my university’s Ethnic and Women’s Studies Department. So my ideal reader is one who is willing to seriously consider other points of view.

How much do you plan ahead of time, vs. following the story where it leads?

I don’t always construct a story or play in the same way. Most of the time, I create interesting characters, put them in an interesting situation in our or another world, then “record what they say and do.” My main characters are very real to me, so I know them well. I’ve even taken online personality tests as my characters to get to know them better. But even then, sometimes they do things I didn’t expect–which are almost always more interesting than what I planned.

Do you have any writing superstitions?

If I believe in them, I won’t think they’re superstitions!

Seriously, I have had the reverse, superstitions about my writing. This is probably primarily due to three things. One, I treat my characters as if they’re real people; two, I’ve written under several pen names; and three, I’ve shared pen names with others.

As a result, there are those who are convinced that a number of real people are all me. Ironically, the accused have included at least two people who were making the allegations! I supposedly have dozens of “sockpuppets.” They admin dozens of wikis and other websites, composed dozens of poems, edited dozens of magazine issues, authored dozens of books, etc. I wish I could do all that, especially when during much of the “sockpuppet” period I was working fulltime offline.

The thing that bothers me the most about it is that innocent people have been targeted in “The Loveshade Sockpuppet Conspiracy.” Fortunately, none of my friends have blamed me for the false accusations. But I still feel really bad about it. My hope is the conspiracy theorists are finally getting bored with their “theory,” and will move on to something that’s less destructive.

Exchange Students

Alden Loveshade is the author of “Orange Sun, Grey Sky,” in the anthology Exchange Students, edited by Sheila Hartney.

Study abroad! See new places! Meet new people! In our exchange student program, you can literally study anywhere or anywhen you can imagine. We’ll send you to new planets. We’ll send you to new dimensions and realms of existence. We’ll send you through time itself! Read this exciting anthology packed with twenty-two tales of science fictional and fantastic exchange students.

The Author



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Alden Loveshade is a journalist, graphic designer, photographer, fiction writer, and personist. He’s enjoyed tutoring–and learning from–students of India, Mexico, Russia, Thailand, and the United States. He has degrees in humanities and theatre and a minor in ethnic and women’s studies, and has studied a wide variety of subjects including astronomy, biology, physics, psychology, and sociology. When not designing star systems for stories and GURPS roleplaying games, he enjoys historical recreation, walking in the woods, tending ponds, and trying to understand cats. http://alden.loveshade.org