Jennifer Bene's Blog, page 49

Thankful Thursday

It’s Thankful Thursday and I’m late because I’ve been without service almost the entire day! On top of that it is over 100* here in Texas and that means I could use some firemen to cool me down. I definitely wouldn’t mind if these guys showed up at my house! And with puppies?! Admit it, lovelies, who might “accidentally” set their kitchen on fire to meet these guys? I know I’ll be contemplating it while I wait for Friday to arrive!!

Want to talk about the deliciousness of Thankful Thursday? Join the comments happening on my Facebook page!

Nightmares and dark choices on #WIP Wednesday

Hey, lovelies, it’s WIP Wednesday again and we’re back with more from my upcoming release ‘Early Sins’ the prequel for ‘Lethal Sin‘. I just premiered the cover last week, so make sure to check it out! If you’ve already read ‘Lethal Sin’ you may have been a little curious about Camille’s sordid past, about how she got involved in the assassin game, which ultimately puts her on the path to collide with Mateo in the first book. I was so caught up in Camille’s story myself that this prequel started flowing out. I’m not sure when I’ll have it finished (hopefully out before the end of August), but in this scene Smith and Camille are at a standoff in their feelings for each other. Camille made the move, Smith pushed her back, she lashed out – and now Smith is more driven than ever to make her strong.

—

The shower had been going for too long, the steam of it making the room feel humid in the boiling heat of summer. Not even the little air conditioner tucked under the window could counteract it all – and since it was only 3AM that was even worse. The day was going to be like being in an oven, or hell, but hell never seemed far away from Camille even in the dead of winter.

She’d had another nightmare.

Another sharp gasp of air that had ripped him from sleep, on alert, reaching for his gun – but then he’d heard it.

Another series of soft pleas escaping her lips that would never be spoken if she were awake. A chorus of ‘stop’ and ‘don’t, please’ that burrowed inside his head and made Smith’s stomach turn.

For weeks after Clinton died Camille had been unstoppable. They’d done three jobs back to back, and she was cold, efficient, fearless. One of the men had even tried to run, targeting her because he assumed she was weak, but Camille had caught him and put him on the ground hard, ending him with a shot to the back of the head. Then she’d looked over at him, a small, proud smile creeping across her lips – and she’d asked him if they could catch a movie.

As if pulling the trigger were as easy as breathing to her.

Death didn’t bother her. Killing didn’t bother her. The intense training he made her keep up with only seemed to fuel the fire inside her. But the nightmares? The memories of what those men had done to her? They were eating her alive.

It’s going to get her killed. You know it is.

He growled under his breath and checked his phone again for a voicemail that he knew wouldn’t be there. When he verified no missed calls he scrolled down to Lacroix’s name, prepared to call and threaten him until he found Roger or Barry. Or both of them. Like he should have already. There were two more names on her list, two more to kill and then maybe she’d be able to sleep. Maybe she could heal, she could be the perfect assassin. No fear. No mercy.

But she’s not there yet.

Just as he went to select Lacroix’s number to vent some of his frustration on the man the bathroom door opened and she stepped out. Her blonde hair was darker from the water, slightly wavy as it hung over her bare shoulders, and the towel was much too small. It stopped so high on her golden thighs that he had to swallow before he spoke so that he could keep the memory of her naked body from appearing behind his eyes.

Focus. You need to help her.

“Want to go for a run?” he asked.

“I just showered.”

“So?” he asked and her blue eyes lifted, still too empty.

What happens in your nightmares, C? What in the hell did they do to you to?

Questions he could never, would never ask.

For a long minute she stared at him, and then she turned towards the bedroom letting her voice drift back towards him, “Fine. Give me a few to get dressed.” When she pushed the door closed behind her he knew she needed the space, he knew she really just needed to rest and get back to normal. If he were a good man he would let her do that, he would take her out to a comforting breakfast in the morning, and then train like they normally did.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t do that. Being gentle would get her killed, and she was too important to him now to let whatever strange version of feelings he felt get in the way of making her strong. The way she had reacted to the nightmare had given him an idea, cold and calculating. An idea to take her training to the next level, to make her stronger while she was still raw, still in the worst mental state – and he was an absolute bastard for it.

—

What is Smith about to do? Come back on #SatSpanks to see what happens next. Everything Smith does, the good and the bad, is meant to make her stronger, to turn her into the person she becomes in Lethal Sin. While you’re waiting for Saturday, check out these other snippets from some hot authors!

Music Monday – Hid in the Little Things

So if you’ve been following Music Monday with me for some time, you’ve probably picked up on the fact that I get a little obsessed with certain songs when I’m writing different books. When I was writing Lethal Sin I heard ‘Hid in the Little Things’ by Zander Hawley for the first time, and I fell in love with it. It is perfect for this entire series, and I’m sharing it now because I don’t want to forget it, and I’m pretty sure it will be the theme song for one of the main characters in the 2nd book. I’m currently writing the prequel (which follows Camille as she learns to be an assassin), but I’ve already got ideas for official book 2, which follows two new hot guys, also hitmen, who happen to know Mateo (and thus Camille). Anyway, keep this series in mind as you read the lyrics below, and listen to the song. It’s… perfection.

My favorite lyrics…

Lord have mercy for I’m unkind

My hands are dirty and I’ve little time

Just know that I’m not sorry for half of my crimes

Cause’ hid in the little things

Are all my darkest dreams

I’d like to let you see

I’m not a hunter

This isn’t hell you’re in

This is urgent love

There’s much more danger

Do I love her still, does it matter?

On the window sill, with no ladder

All my women, all their words

I’m obsessed with fire, the way it burns

‘Hid in the Little Things’ by Zander Hawley

Sometimes you just have to talk to a bartender on #SatSpanks!

Look! It’s time for #SatSpanks again and we’re back with more from my upcoming release ‘Early Sins’ the prequel for ‘Lethal Sin‘. I just premiered the cover earlier this week, so make sure to check it out! If you’ve already read ‘Lethal Sin’ you may have been a little curious about Camille’s sordid past, about how she got involved in the assassin game, which ultimately puts her on the path to collide with Mateo in the first book. I was so caught up in Camille’s story myself that this prequel started flowing out. I’m not sure when I’ll have it finished (hopefully out before the end of August), but at this point in the book Camille and Smith have been together around two years, she’s got some kills under her belt, and her attraction for him has been steadily growing. In the last snippet on #WIP Wednesday she kissed him, and Smith pushed her away. Camille made it clear she was upset, let’s see how Smith feels…

—

It was a Tuesday night, which meant there were only a few scattered regulars when Smith wandered to the back of the bar and dropped into his seat. Albatross Brewing glowed above his head, and Bill himself walked over with a glass of bourbon and set it down in front of him. “What did she do?”

“You make such assumptions.”

“I can read you by now, Smith. If you wanted anonymity you shouldn’t have picked my bar to be your favorite haunt.” He pushed the glass across the table towards him. “Now, take a drink, and talk.”

Listening to the guy he viewed as one of his only ‘friends’ in the world, even though Bill knew basically nothing about him, he took a drink. The sweet burn of the bourbon wound its way down into his stomach, bursting with a warmth that he needed. It would serve as a balm to the things he’d said to Camille. It would help him rebuild the barriers. “She kissed me.”

“Alright.” Bill shrugged, leaning back in the chair. As Smith stared he waited for the man to say something else, to react, but he stayed stoic.

“You’re not listening, I kissed her. I kissed C.”

“I thought you said she kissed you?”

“Yes! She did, that’s what I said.” Smith growled under his breath and threw back more of the bourbon than he should have.

“And you kissed her back?” Bill asked, and Smith’s stomach turned. All he could manage was a nod, but Bill just shrugged again. “She’s a beautiful girl.”

“A girl. Right.” His stomach twisted further, and he tried to stifle it by finishing the bourbon.

“Is that the deal? Her age?”

“Yes.” Smith nodded and tilted the empty glass towards himself, disappointed that he’d finished it too fast, but Bill reached forward and pulled it free from his grip.

“How old is she?” He held up a hand. “Wait, before you answer that I’m getting us both bourbon. I think we’re going to need it.”

Smith nodded and watched as the man wandered back behind the bar. He snagged Miranda before she headed towards the tables and nodded at the two guys sitting at the bar before he brought another glass and an entire bottle of bourbon back to the table.

“Really think we’re going to need the bottle?” he asked as Bill took his seat again.

“You tell me,” he muttered as he refilled their glasses and nudged a full one in front of Smith.

“I won’t turn it down.”

“Me either. This is the good stuff.” Bill took a drink and Smith mirrored him, letting the silence reign for a moment until the bartender who had been the only constant in his life for years cleared his throat. “So… how old is she, Smith?”

Another draught of bourbon filled his mouth so he wouldn’t curse needlessly, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid this discussion. Hell, he’d apparently come to Bill’s to have this conversation. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you -”

“I don’t know. She’s never told me her age.”

Bill blew out a breath slowly, nursing his bourbon like an old pro, while Smith was already halfway through his second glass. Liquid courage, eh? Leaning forward, Bill’s watery eyes lifted to him. “Listen, all these kids look young to me. I’m in my sixties now, even you look like a baby. What are you, twenty-three, twenty-four?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“You’re a baby yourself, what are you worried about?” Bill sat back and laughed, resting a hand on his stomach.

Smith flinched, remembering her screams in the night just before she’d wake up crying and cursing. It was worse now that he had even a flicker of what caused them. Steve, Joe Wilson, and the others… and the things they had done to her at God only knew what age. “It’s complicated.”

“You’re joking, right? She’s gorgeous. Hell, half the bar gets wood every time she walks in here. If I were your age I’d be -”

“Bill.” Interrupting him so he wouldn’t finish the thought, Smith kept his eyes on the last inch of amber liquid as he tilted it to and fro, trying to suppress the urge to gut the next man that looked at her with a gaze even halfway lecherous.

She’s not yours to be jealous over.

Raising his free hand up Bill shook his head. “I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life, Smith. Mother Mary knows I’d be talking to you about something other than your love life if I wanted to interfere, but everyone sees how she looks at you. That girl is in love with you.”

“She does not love me,” Smith growled, and he wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince Bill or himself.

—

Smith is trying so hard to be the good guy, but it’s infuriating for Camille (and me, to be honest!). He’s a ruthless killer, merciless, cold to everyone – except for Camille. Anyone else think this is not their last kiss?

While you’re thinking it over, check out these other snippets below!

Thankful Thursday

It’s Thankful Thursday and I am feeling great this week because I finally got through some of the insanity at the day job, so it’s going more smoothly, and I wrote almost 7k words on Early Sins last night!! WHAT?! I’m so excited. In honor of that progress I’m sharing this character inspiration photo of how I see Smith in the book (the guy who trains Camille to be an assassin). What do you think, lovelies, is he hot?

Want to talk about the deliciousness of Thankful Thursday? Join the comments happening on my Facebook page!

Kisses and knives on #WIP Wednesday!

Hey, lovelies, it’s WIP Wednesday again and we’re back with more from my upcoming release ‘Early Sins’ the prequel for ‘Lethal Sin‘. I just premiered the cover last week, so make sure to check it out! If you’ve already read ‘Lethal Sin’ you may have been a little curious about Camille’s sordid past, about how she got involved in the assassin game, which ultimately puts her on the path to collide with Mateo in the first book. I was so caught up in Camille’s story myself that this prequel started flowing out. I’m not sure when I’ll have it finished (hopefully out before the end of August), but at this point in the book Camille and Smith have been together around two years, she’s got some kills under her belt, and their sparring sessions are a little more intense now that she knows what she’s doing. Of course, this means the sexual tension between the two is a little more intense as well!

—

“Giving up so soon?” he taunted.

“You wish.” Twisting, Camille pushed herself up from the floor and ducked his first attack, countering with a hard hit to his diaphragm. She caught his attempt to grab her, and lifted her leg between them to kick him back. With little air left in his lungs, Smith stumbled back and landed flat on his ass. He coughed from the floor, and she stayed back, having learned that the fight was never over unless he said it was. “Need a break?”

“Ha. A few kills under your belt and you think you’re top dog now?” Smith flipped to his feet and stood, the smirk at his lips one she knew all too well by now. He was about to make it much, much harder to put him on the ground.

This will be fun.

“Nine. Nine kills, Smith. That’s more than a few.”

“Your first two don’t count.” With a lunge he snagged a knife off the coffee table and swung at her, and she jerked backwards to avoid it.

Fuck. He was not playing around tonight.

She paced him, making him follow her around the hotel room so she could get the meter of his steps, measure when he was comfortable taking a swing with the blade. The next time he thrust, she blocked with her forearm, and grabbed his wrist, driving her thumb into the tendons until his grip went slack. With a twist she ripped the knife free from his palm, and threw it. It tumbled end over end, and then buried its tip in the headboard of the bed.

“Yes!” Camille cheered, and then he tackled her, his shoulder slamming into her stomach just before she hit floor and all the air left her lungs. An instant later he was hovering over her, both of her wrists pinned, his weight distributed at the top of her thighs so she couldn’t counter.

“What did you forget?” he panted, his breath brushing over her cheek.

“I forgot to put you on the ground after I disarmed you.” The words were automatic because she was too distracted to consciously respond with his weight on top of her. Smith was barely inches above her, the warm smell of his skin, his sweat, his aftershave, floating in the space between them – and his mouth was so close. Just an inch or so, and she could…

Before she could stop herself she had lifted her face to his, and their lips met. It was a kiss, warm and soft, and he pressed her back to the floor, nibbling at her lip as it continued and there was no stifling the quiet moan that escaped her as they tentatively deepened the kiss. With a brief brush of tongues, Smith suddenly jerked himself back, sitting up on her hips, and then he threw himself backwards. He landed gracelessly a few feet away, and she sat up, staring at him as if she could mentally confirm that it was okay, that she wanted it, but her tongue was tied up in the knots he’d made of it when he’d kissed her back.

“Session is over,” he said and shoved himself off the floor. A moment later he was shut in the bathroom of their hotel room, while she was still sitting, stunned, beside the coffee table.

His touch was a phantom on her skin, his lips a ghostly memory across her own, but she stayed where she was and memorized it. The taste of his lips, the salt of his sweat, the incredible gentleness of his touch combined with all the raw power of his body, of what she knew he was capable of – she had to memorize it because it was probably the last time he’d ever touch her like that. “Shit…”

—

It took so long for Camille to make a move, and she’s so damaged that this scene broke my heart to write it. What happens next is even worse, and what’s after that… worse. WHY do I like torturing all of you and myself at the same time?! Well, I’m a masochist, so that explains me, but GAH. I always put my characters through the ringer before they can find their way. Hope you’re enjoying the ride! There will be more on #SatSpanks and #WIPWednesday each week until I finish this beast. In the mean time, enjoy these other authors below…

COVER REVEAL: ‘Early Sins’!

I am so excited to do the cover reveal for my upcoming release ‘Early Sins’ (Dangerous Games #0.5)! If you’ve already read ‘Lethal Sin’ (Dangerous Games #1) you may have been a little curious about Camille’s sordid past, and about how she got involved in the assassin game, which ultimately puts her on the path to collide with Mateo in the first book. I was so caught up in Camille’s story myself that this prequel started flowing out. It’s intense, and dark, but Camille is just as sharp-tongued and brazen as she is in ‘Lethal Sin’, and Smith is the man who saves her and makes her who she’s meant to be.

I’m not sure when I’ll have it finished (hopefully out before the end of August), but after James from http://goonwrite.com made me this cover to match ‘Lethal Sin’ I just couldn’t hold onto it anymore! I’m just in love with it. Enjoy, lovelies!

Music Monday – Fragile

It’s Music Monday and back to normal in my corner of the world. Today I’ve got ‘Fragile’ by a new kiwi artist, Maya Payne. It’s got great rhythm and her voice is so unique! Some of the insanity of my last few weeks is winding down, the day job seems to be on an upswing, and I finally had a few minutes this weekend to sit down and put down some more words on ‘Early Sins’ the prequel for Lethal Sin (Dangerous Games #1). Overall, it’s going pretty well, but whenever I’m writing I always gravitate to the darker music, and this one caught my ear a couple of weeks ago and I instantly threw it on my Music Monday playlist. Just scroll down and hit play to listen!

Favorite lyrics…

A shiver down my spine

These bones so fragile and fine

We’re all just troubled minds

In troubled times

There’s something in the dark

A dying spark

Like a flame in the rain

Consumed in the pain

It’s in my bones

It’s in my skin

Troubled minds

Fragile spines

‘Fragile’ by Maya Payne

On #SatSpanks, Smith finally lets Camille be strong.

Hi there, lovelies, we’re back with more from my upcoming release ‘Early Sins’, the prequel for ‘Lethal Sin‘. I just premiered the title of this book to my mailing list this past weekend, and I can’t wait to show you guys the amazing cover (once we’re done tweaking it). If you’ve already read ‘Lethal Sin’ you may have been a little curious about Camille’s sordid past, about how she got involved in the assassin game, which ultimately puts her on the path to collide with Mateo in the first book. I was so caught up in Camille’s story myself that this prequel started flowing out. I’m not sure when I’ll have it finished (hopefully out before the end of August), but in this scene Camille is out training with Smith and he is watching her, tormented by the knowledge she’s shared of why she started killing in the first place…

—

With a groan Smith stopped at the side of the path, staring off at the rolling lawn of the park in front of him where couples were taking picnics, kids were playing, dogs barking – it was so picturesque, peaceful.

“What the fuck, Smith? Are you trying to ditch me?” C slowed to a stop next to him, her breathing a little harder than it would have been six months before when she was in peak shape.

“Really, C? Language. There are children.” He chastised her, but in truth he didn’t really mind. Her mouth was just another aspect of her personality that kept him from going cold through and through, she was his lifeline to a normal world – even if she didn’t know it.

“Yeah, right, the kids. I’m sure they’ve never heard the word fuck in their lives.” Bracing her hands on her knees she took deep breaths, in through her nose and out through her mouth until it slowed.

“We have another mile to go.”

“Are you fucking kidding? We’ve gone three miles already, you think this dickbag is going to try and run from me? For three miles?” She shoved the errant strands of white blonde hair off her forehead, clearing the sweat from her face with her forearm. Her skin was getting a hint of the gold of summer already, and as they stood there he noticed the way men glanced at her in her running gear. Skin tight from head to toe, and it made him want to block her from their view, cover her in a shapeless sack – or kill them for looking.

Who are you to feel possessive?  No one.

“If you want to argue we’ll run two more, it’s up to you.”

“You’re such an asshole,” she muttered but then she took off ahead of him. From behind he tried to ignore the sight of her body moving underneath the black and pink running pants, and instead focused in on her right leg. Was her ankle wobbling more than the left? Was she still unsteady? Was the muscle ready for a fight if she needed it?

She’s ready. You know she is.

And that meant a job. A kill. Her first in this new life.

—

Even with the knowledge he has, Smith isn’t cutting Camille any slack, and it’s working. It makes her stronger, it makes her work harder, and it makes sure that she doesn’t give any of her targets the benefit of the doubt. She’s cold, hard, and it’s exactly who she needs to be to survive in this world. Empathy only gets you killed.

Check out these other snippets from other books below!

Thankful Thursday

It’s Thankful Thursday again, and that means hot guys. This week we are blessed by a hottie in the kitchen making our favorite treat, maybe for the morning after? Either way it has made me very happy considering I’ve been traveling for work all week and dealing with cooking is the last thing on my mind. So, thank you, hottie, for not only making Friday come a little faster, but also for cooking us something super tasty. So, lovelies, what is this sexy guy making for you all?

Want to talk about the deliciousness of Thankful Thursday? Join the comments happening on my Facebook page!