Richard P. Denney's Blog

January 5, 2014

Suicide is close to my heart. Not only has a friend of mine taken his life(Simon Granado 1988-2001) but I used to want to leave this earth too.

Sometimes those thoughts never go away but one of the things you have to do is sit back and think of everything you are leaving behind. And you may not even give a shit about what you are leaving behind, maybe what you are leaving behind is what brought you to this point or played a part in what has brought you to the point of suicide. But whatever it is, will eventually subside and as the years go by whatever it is will slowly fade until it is something that doesn't even hurt as much anymore. I'm not going to sit here and LIE and say that it will go away. It won't. But it will fade until it merely an ugly ass ghost hovering about you.

I'm 25 and I've wanted to leave this earth too many times. I've dealt and still deal with depression and anxiety and it is a part of my life unfortunately. But I try to strive and stay strong because I CONTROL WHAT TEARS ME DOWN. "I will no longer let someone or something make me think of something like suicide as a way out." I said that to myself two years ago and a month ago I was on the verge of calling a suicide hotline because it was THAT bad. I was looking around my house for things to help end my life. I even went into the garage and stared at the rafters to see if hanging myself would work. (and not that any of this is a funny matter but do you know the first thought that popped into my head as I stared at the garage rafters? "my fat ass will probably tear the garage roof down." I'm morbid not matter what I suppose.) But I was on that verge because my life wasn't up to par with what I wanted, with what I desired. I was on the verge of leaving my amazing mother, sister and beloved immediate family behind to endure the pain and darkness I would leave in the ashes of myself.

Suicide is a selfish thing. It is a very, very, very selfish thing. And you HAVE to remind yourself of that every time you think of it. Even if you feel like you have NOTHING and all you are is a burden. YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING BURDEN. You are a beautiful human being who deserves the best that this shit life has to offer and it is not a sunny life. It's a crap hole, a dark dungeon with chains and pits and fire. And it will never change. But YOU CAN CHANGE IT. youuuuuuu can change it for yourself. You can be the thing that makes your own life worth living. Don't ever forget that. Please don't ever forget that.

A month ago I was in a place in my life where I had no job, and I still don't. I write books of course but that doesn't help as much as people think. I wasn't writing anything a month ago. I was forcing myself to be happy in my booktube videos. I was walking around my family's house, like a ghost with no motivation, watching over everything and wondering who would cry if I was gone. I was reading and I was reading to sway my thoughts from suicide and let me fucking say that reading did help me. It did a good job for a bit. But a month ago I wanted to die. That sends chills down my spine thinking about it. Wow.

And please understand that this is a very difficult thing for me to put out there because I don't talk about my personal life much and admitting my depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts is very tough for me. I'm actually shaking as I type. It's not an easy thing for me to do. But I'm doing it because I need too. I'm doing it because I hope that it will help someone who is in that dark place.

You are a one of a kind person and though you may think otherwise, I don't even fucking know your ass BUT I believe you are amazing and beautiful and I motherfucking love you. You are not unwanted and though you may not see or feel it... you MATTER to someone, whether it is one person or hundreds of people. And there is one person who you matter to most and I bet you don't even know it... But it is YOU believe it or not.

You MATTER to yourself.

I will still deal with depression, anxiety for the rest of my life. But the suicidal thoughts will take that back seat or better yet they will be hanging on by the bumper because when I feel those feelings coming on. I will look back to this open letter and the feeling will go away. It will run off like a crazed bimbo getting chased by a zombie.

Do me a favor and do these three things for me below please:

1. Inhale

2. Exhale

3. Smile

4. LIVE

**and if anyone ever feels the need to talk to someone. I check my goodreads every single day (I'm not kidding) and I will get back to you. I will be there for YOU.

I'm sorry if this post was all over the place. I seriously just needed to get this all out.

- RICHARD DENNEY
(Christian Marotti)
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Published on January 05, 2014 22:53 • 635 views • Tags: author, books, open-letter, suicide, teen, thoughts

September 3, 2013

Hey everyone!

So in celebration of The Bone Garden's release today on Kindle!! I wanted to share some songs that I listened to while writing the novelette. These songs fit the story well and some are pretty creepy. ENJOY!! and pick up a kindle copy of the book today HERE: http://t.co/vuUWUUjoNy

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THE BONE GARDEN - PLAYLIST

1. Dead Man's Bones - "In the room where you sleep" LISTEN HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEwKVh...

2. Hannah Peel - "Blue Monday" LISTEN HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8h4M8...

3. Meiko - "Bad Things" LISTEN HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5HX9Y...

4. MS MR - "Bones" LISTEN HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnFZQ2...



The Bone Garden (The Goreys, #0.5) by Christian Marotti
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Published on September 03, 2013 17:36 • 158 views • Tags: author, blog, book, books, kindle, music, playlist, writing

August 17, 2013

Ladies and gentlemen, I now present the book cover for THE BONE GARDEN. I worked pretty hard on this cover to make it both unique and original and I hope you all like it as well. Let me know your thoughts below!

YOU CAN MARK THE BOOK AS TO-READ HERE:
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18...

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Perry and Violet aren't normal, and they know this. Violet is in training to become a serial killer like her beloved mother and Perry, well, he's not sure who he wants to be later in life. But on the morning of his sixteenth birthday, he gets himself into a gigantic mess that almost costs him his life. How will he get himself out of it unscathed and still breathing?

An introduction novelette to the characters and world of the upcoming New-Adult novella series entitled THE GOREYS about a misunderstood twenty-four-year-old and his insane, serial killer sister.


✸✸✸ (this is a kindle only edition and 50% of the proceeds will go to a charity of the author's choice.)


"The Bone Garden" will be available SEPTEMBER 3RD or sooner on KINDLE and will be FREE for the first two days of its release. SPREAD THE WORD!!

- :)

The Bone Garden (The Goreys, #0.5) by Christian Marotti
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Published on August 17, 2013 23:12 • 210 views • Tags: adult, author, books, cover-reveal, dark-humor, horror, kindle, new-adult

August 5, 2013

I'm the type of author that embraces bad reviews. If you are a writer and you want to be an author, know that for a FACT there will be readers who will love your book and there will be readers who will hate your book. That is just the way it is and there is no way to see yourself out of that... well, there kind of is and it's called DON'T PUBLISH YOUR FUCKING BOOK IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE BAD REVIEWS.

I'm so sick and tired of seeing these authors, parading on Twitter and Goodreads, bitching about a 1 star or 2 star review. Grow the fuck up and eat a fucking snickers bar.

Calm the fuck down.

I often like to air out my feelings publicly but not toward bad reviews, because there is a place to air that kind of shit out and it is to your closest friends or your critique partner... NOT ON SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES.

Do you know what that will do?
it will GuaranFUCKINGtee that your book and you will get a bad rep and you will be screwed. If you decide to pull shit like that, I'd suggest breaking out that old spiral notebook and go over some pen names because you are fucked. FUUUUUUUCKED.

Do you know that there is a thing called a screen shot? yeah, someone who sees your negative bitching will PRT SC that shit and post it everywhere for people to see. Think twice before you lay those fingers on the keyboard. There is no escaping the fuckery you will cause. Even if you come to your senses and delete the bitching it will somehow show up somewhere.

And HEY! be grateful that someone actually read your damn book even if they hated it. Do you know how difficult it is in the first fucking place to get your book read by someone? Difficult as fuck.

If you paid for my book or got it free on amazon and you hated it, that is awesome as long as you read it I'm fine.

So authors who like to bitch, cut it the fuck out.

... and seriously, go eat a snickers bar. It will calm you down.


*also something I'd like to add is this is not just for Self Published authors. I've seen PLENTY of traditionally published authors lash out at bad reviews. I just don't like seeing people say it's ONLY self published authors who do this. Know your shit before you speak.

Have a great day and go read something. :)
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Published on August 05, 2013 16:21 • 313 views • Tags: authors, bad-reviews, drama, goodreads, twitter

July 25, 2013

NOT ALL BOOKS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE RELATABLE.

NOT ALL BOOKS ARE SUPPOSED TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING.

NOT ALL BOOKS ARE SUPPOSED TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

READING IS MEANT TO BE FUN.

And if a book changes your life, teaches you something, or is relatable then that is a surprise on the side.

I'm just sick and tired of people who only read literature bagging on readers who enjoy YA or MG or even NA, telling us what to read and WHY books are made.

Screw you and your high horse. Let me read what I want.


- <3
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Published on July 25, 2013 20:36 • 202 views • Tags: author, books, literature, reading

July 18, 2013

Hey Everyone,

I wanted to talk about the books I have on Goodreads that aren't out yet. In 2011 I went nuts and added books to GR that should have never been added and most have been removed. But there are some that are still coming out.

Just a quick announcement: Due to scheduling issues, STAY and UNAVENGED are being held off until 2014. I'm very excited for both but right now I don't feel they should be released. I wanted STAY to come out before Summer but that didn't happen and UNAVENGED needs a lot more work. Besides that I do have a new book that I will be talking about soon that WILL be coming out this year and I'm also looking for a traditional publisher for WICKED so that is why it hasn't come out yet. Wish me luck with that. But I've made this promise that if it doesn't get picked up by the end of this year, I will self-publish it.

Also I've been getting asked about the sequel to SECRETS, it will not be coming out this year or 2014, I really have no time for it but if I'm lucky I might get it out by the end of next year.

If you've been paying attention for the past few months you'll know that UNBREAKABLE was re-written and is now called UNAVENGED, so that will be out in 2014.

There will be no sequel to What Lies Beneath. It was never planned and it was always a standalone. But a lot of readers want one and right now I don't see it happening anytime soon.

The re-release of The Immortalists is being held back because I'm also looking for a traditional publisher for it as well. But if it doesn't get picked up I will self-publish it again.

The Last Song should have never been added. It's not ready and won't be ready for a while so there's no update about that.

Finally, White Zombie has a new title and should be coming out late next year if I plan this all right. I am saving the title for now.

Thank you all for sticking with me and thanks for reading!

if you wanna ask anything below or nag me for posting books that I shouldn't lol do it below. I've learned my lesson. I'm only human. haha
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Published on July 18, 2013 17:03 • 115 views • Tags: author, books, publish, release

June 8, 2013

PLEASE NOTE THAT BEFORE YOU CARRY ON READING THIS POST THAT THOUGH WHAT I HAVE TO SAY MAY BE BRUTAL IT'S ME TRYING TO HELP OUT MY FELLOW SELF PUBLISHED AUTHORS.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME THESE ARE JUST RULES I'VE MADE UP THAT I STRIVE FOR WHEN I DESIGN BOOK COVERS.

* the covers featured in this post were designed by me specially for this post. These books do not exist.



Rule #1 to self published book designing is to make sure readers can SEE the author's NAME and the TITLE of the book on the cover. There is nothing more I hate than these covers with the font that is practically the same color as the background and it blends in so much it's like it was never there. White font can be your best friend but it can also be your worst enemy. Also be careful with the font you use. Why the hell do these supernatural YA covers have wacky - flowery fonts. Don't, just don't.

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Rule #2 to self published book designing is to select stock photos that are the correct size for paperback or ebook. These bookmark sized looking book covers are not attracting and to be honest they are hideous and you do not want your cover in physical form to look warped or pixelated in the final product.
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Rule #3 to self published book designing is one that needs attention the most. These extremely simple book covers with wacky looking font and a stick figure or tiny pictures are not easy on the eyes. They will ensure that your book will more than likely not sell well. It's brutal but honest, covers sell the book more often than the synopsis. Do not fall into that hole of terrible simple covers. If you are broke as hell like most self published authors are at the beginning, search for public domain images and find a photo that suits your book best. Public domain images are free to use and will make a difference.
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Rule #4 to self published book designing is if you do not know jack shit about photoshop don't use it for your FIRST book cover. Badly photoshopped book covers show laziness and they are never easy on the readers eyes, try your hand at photoshop for a while before you edit your book cover or find someone who can help you. You can find someone online in book cover forums or ask a friend who uses photoshop.
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Rule #5 to self published book designing is don't charge so much for your services if you do charge. I've seen people spend nearly $500 for a book cover and that is fucking insane. It does not cost that much for a book cover designer to use photoshop. Authors, don't fall for it go find someone else.
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Rule #6 to self published book designing is PLEASE do not cover your stock model's face with FONT. It's just bad. Don't do it.
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Rule #7 to self published book designing is to try to your best with the cover you are designing whether it be your own or not. Sloppy book covers are ugly and are not cute on bookshelves. Try your BEST but have FUN!


if you want to add any more list them below!
thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

- :)
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Published on June 08, 2013 15:22 • 3,733 views • Tags: 2013, author, blog, book, bookcover, cover, design, self-published

May 15, 2013

Ever since I was little all I wanted was for people to know my name. Even from a young age I knew I would grow up to be something amazing and out of this world. I'm 25 now but that hasn't changed a damn thing. There is still time and it is mine for the taking.

My dreams are mine and I will make them come true. And no one will ever take them away from me. I am sick and tired of being unknown and left on the outside to fade. I want the entire fucking universe to know who I am and I won't stop until that happens.

Make your dreams happen people, even if they seem so far away. Grab a fucking fishing pole and reel them in and never let anyone take anything away from you. Because everyone no matter who they are or where they come from deserves everything and more.

Take it all bitches, because it belongs to you.



- <3
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Published on May 15, 2013 12:24 • 136 views • Tags: author, career, dreams, fame, inspirational, writing

April 26, 2013

So apparently most readers have been getting the NEW-ADULT definition wrong. I'm glad that a lot of people are correcting themselves. New-Adult fiction deals with characters who are in the age range of 20-25.

A lot of people have been saying New-Adult is a tame way of saying erotic teen fiction and though a majority of New-Adult books deal with that it's not all just sex and drama-filled relationships.

The reason I bring this up today is because I am finishing up a new book with characters that are in their early twenties along with teens in the story as well. And I don't want anyone thinking that just because my book is new-adult that it's full of sex and unrealistic relationships.

I will be announcing the book very soon but until then happy reading and happy writing.
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Published on April 26, 2013 20:28 • 159 views • Tags: blog, fiction, newadult, teen, writing

April 17, 2013

I am coming to you all today from my freezing desk chair while a dust storm rages outside like a drag queen who’s just found out she did not make it on Ru Paul’s Drag Race. description










But back to what I want to talk about today. Really it's not anyone's business but mine but I like to keep you all in the loop about what's happening with my books and I feel like THIS is something I need to open my mouth about.

Let's just jump right in...

I've spoken on this before but I used to open my mouth about a book of mine before things settle and that is one pet peeve about myself that I don't like.

In my opinion I think I announced Unbreakable, White Zombie, and The Last Song TOO early. I write half the book and I get excited and post everything I can about it too early. I'm only human but gosh I'm a fucking idiot sometimes. Unbreakable IS coming out next year so no worries about that. A friend thinks a cover change would bring more people to it considering the current cover is cliche but so many people love the cover, I'd feel like a big ass if I did that but so far the book has gotten gritty and crazier so you never know a cover change might happen. But if you have a reason the current cover is perfect, let me know below. It will help me when the final decision comes around.

I don't know what I was thinking when I announced White Zombie and The Last Song. The Last Song is not even close to being done and I've honestly fell out of love with it so who knows what might happen and White Zombie is growing into a newer story and I think it might become a trilogy or duology and it will get a title change.

I'm pouring everything out to you all right now but I think this is a good time to say all of this so no one thinks that just because I am going by a new pen name that I am abandoning the unreleased books from Richard Denney.

The other reason I decided to post this today is because I will be announcing a new book and it will be the first published through this pen name. It's very different from what I usually write and I am very excited about it.

I know what you might be thinking "You're announcing ANOTHER book? what about the ones that aren't out yet?" I am taking a small break from everything else right now as I finish up this NEW book. If you are a writer then you know that you have to be IN THE MOOD to write a certain story, you can't force it. And I am not in the mood for anything but what I am writing right now. I'd like to say that I will be announcing the book SOON but I honestly don't know exactly when I will be opening my trap about it haha I'm thinking next month but if not I hope by the end of the Summer I'll have something for you. But no worries, I plan to have it near completion when I announce it. So the release date isn't so far away.

Until then read "What Lies Beneath" if you haven't and have a nice a night. if you have any questions ask them below :D
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Published on April 17, 2013 21:11 • 166 views • Tags: announcement, author, blog, book, manuscript, novel, post, richard-denney, writing

Richard P. Denney's Blog

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