Mykle Hansen

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Mykle Hansen

Goodreads Author


Member Since
November 2007


Mykle Hansen has been "keeping it realism" on Goodreads for over ten years. He will gladly consider your friend request if (only if) you have read at least one hundred books.

Mykle Hansen's inability to have a normal reaction is key to the popularity of his surreal fiction and neo-gonzo journalism. He is the author of the acclaimed short-story collection EYEHEART EVERYTHING, several dozen 'zines, a religious self-help column in the Portland Mercury, and over fifty thousand lines of Perl. HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME! is his first novel. RAMPAGING FUCKERS OF EVERYTHING ON THE CRAZY SHITTING PLANET OF THE VOMIT ATMOSPHERE is his first anthology of satirical novellas. His latest novel, "I, SLUTBOT," tells the story of the first robotic porn star,

Bizarro Across America heads east!


In September 2014, the writers, artists and co-conspirators of the Bizarro genre are coming to Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania and New York, to spread the gospel of Bizarro Fiction to new audiences and die-hard fans.


September 1, 3pm: Bizarro Writer’s Workshop @ CHOP SUEY BOOKS — 2913 W Cary St, Richmond, VA ‎

September 1, 8pm: THE WINGNUT — 2005 Barton Avenue, Richmond, VA

September 3, 7p Read more of this blog post »
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Published on August 20, 2014 12:39
Average rating: 3.56 · 3,654 ratings · 498 reviews · 13 distinct worksSimilar authors
HELP!  A Bear is Eating Me!

3.49 avg rating — 2,148 ratings — published 2008 — 8 editions
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Rampaging Fuckers of Everyt...

3.28 avg rating — 722 ratings — published 2008 — 3 editions
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The Cannibal's Guide to Eth...

4.09 avg rating — 165 ratings — published 2010 — 2 editions
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Eyeheart Everything

4.13 avg rating — 102 ratings — published 2000 — 3 editions
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I, Slutbot

3.73 avg rating — 56 ratings — published 2014 — 2 editions
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Hooray for Death!

4.16 avg rating — 38 ratings — published 2011
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Death And The Great Mechanico

0.00 avg rating — 0 ratings — published 2012
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The Bizarro Starter Kit

3.92 avg rating — 240 ratings — published 2007
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The Magazine of Bizarro Fic...

4.19 avg rating — 84 ratings — published 2009
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Bust Down the Door and Eat ...

3.98 avg rating — 42 ratings — published 2010
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More books by Mykle Hansen…

Upcoming Events

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HELP! A Bear Is Eating Me! The Infomercial! (Humor)
0 chapters   —   updated Nov 12, 2008 10:13PM
Description: This is a story about you clicking on this link,, in order to watch a video. "An incisive, intriguing indictment of post-millennial ennui and vacuity," it is not. However, it is presented in the form of fiction so that this forum is not sullied by my crass commercial behaviour.
Moon Babes of Bic...
Mykle is currently reading
by Mike Daily (Goodreads Author)
bookshelves: currently-reading
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Sexual Selection ...
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Mykle’s Recent Updates

Mykle made a comment on his review of Kafka on the Shore
Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
" psyomn wrote: "Hey, you should read this this year. I don't even know you, but I've read some of your books. Does that count?"

Mission accomplished! No
...more "
Mykle and 25 other people liked Nate's review of The Incal:
The Incal by Alejandro Jodorowsky
"Great art, awful writing."
Mykle rated a book really liked it
Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
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Although so many blurbs & reviews for this book promised me crazy psychedelic mind-blasting surrealism, I found that depictions of Japanese people adopting and digesting and relating to western culture (Kentucky Fried Chicken, baseball, classical mus ...more
Mykle made a comment on Greg’s review of The Open Curtain
The Open Curtain by Brian Evenson
" Mir wrote: "Gosh, this thread! Oh for the bygone days of youth when religious anti-logic seemed like a primarily intellectual problem and people had c ...more "
Mykle and 16 other people liked Greg's review of The Open Curtain:
The Open Curtain by Brian Evenson
"Brian Evenson is a writer I've been meaning to read for quite some time but who I never got around to buying a book of until this past weekend's book fair. I don't think they are all like this one. By the back cover one might think this is a horror n" Read more of this review »
Mykle finished reading
The Egg Said Nothing by Caris O'Malley
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Conflict Is Not Abuse by Sarah Schulman
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The Can Opener’s Daughter by Rob Davis
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The  Book of Forks by Rob Davis
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The Motherless Oven by Rob Davis
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More of Mykle's books…
“As long as there are things and idiots, idiots will break things.”
Mykle Hansen, Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere

“If I was a worrier I'd worry, but not being a worrier I'm just sort of confused and pissed off.”
Mykle Hansen, HELP! A Bear is Eating Me!
tags: worry

“Some managers hire people they're excited to work with. I prefer to hire people I'm excited to dominate.”
Mykle Hansen, HELP! A Bear is Eating Me!
tags: work

Topics Mentioning This Author

topics posts views last activity  
The Next Best Boo...: Author Interview with David David Katzman 5 35 Jan 20, 2010 04:34AM  
Bizarro Fiction: Top Ten Bestselling Eraserhead Press Books of 2009 6 117 Feb 04, 2010 11:11AM  
Romance Readers R...: June - Pick It For Me challenge 583 265 Jul 01, 2011 08:21PM  
flight paths: On an island... 50 12 Aug 03, 2011 06:48AM  
Oly Reads: Olympia literary events 44 127 Jul 06, 2012 11:45AM  
Reading with Style: Author Chains 49 138 Aug 02, 2014 03:03PM  
Horror Aficionados : October 2014 Group Read Suggestions 167 653 Oct 18, 2014 03:33AM  
Nothing But Readi...: Sedna BOOKS READ 584 147 Jan 24, 2016 04:57AM  
“A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.”
Carl Sagan

“If Mykle Hansen needed to eat puppies for breakfast to be himself, he would rap the table and scream "waiter, more puppy sauce!”
Garrett Cook

“Never flew off the handle just keeping it realism.”
Lester Marrow

“Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with it is a toy and an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, then it becomes a master, then it becomes a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.”
Winston Churchill

“The people of a city blessed with all the good things nature has can grow smug about who they are, can find complacency in livability polls, as if we did a lot to deserve it.”
Robin Cody, Voyage of a Summer Sun: Canoeing the Columbia River

25x33 Bad Advice from Mykle Hansen — 34 members — last activity Nov 30, 2015 07:22PM
Brain clogged? Love troubles? Bear eating you? Famous Author Mykle Hansen is a veritable font of error; for any topic or situation he can offer an ina ...more
40475 The Extra Cool Group! (of people Michael is experimenting on) — 156 members — last activity Aug 27, 2013 12:21PM
*Note: This group, although it lives on in a sense, like a photograph, capturing a moment so people can look back later and go, "Oh, wow, you looked s ...more
3057 Bizarro Fiction — 980 members — last activity Jul 20, 2020 12:09AM
This is a group devoted to lovers of bizarro fiction. Whether you write it or read it, you are welcome here. Come join us in our love of the weird and ...more
43519 readers advisory for all — 4630 members — last activity Aug 16, 2020 10:22PM
life's too short to read crappy books. this is why readers' advisory exists. feel free to join if you are looking for "a book like____" or "a book tha ...more
25x33 Goodreads Bizarro Authors — 32 members — last activity Nov 30, 2015 07:23PM
A place for Bizarro Authors on Goodreads to spread the word about Bizarro discuss events and topics relevant to us and generally make good use of the ...more
1320 Oly Reads — 204 members — last activity Apr 24, 2014 08:49AM
You: 1. Live or have lived in Olympia, Washington 2. Like to read 3. Have opinions about the books you read
31471 THE Group for Authors! — 11631 members — last activity Sep 17, 2020 08:59PM
This is a group for authors to discuss their craft, as well as publishing and book marketing.
36173 this is kuert concrete — 3 members — last activity Aug 25, 2010 07:10AM
if you work, or have worked at kuert concrete (thats south bend indiana, kids), come join in discussions. we can hate on northeast underlayments or di ...more
17710 Fear Fantastique — 99 members — last activity Nov 22, 2015 03:08PM
This group discusses dark fantasy and horror in the context of books, movies and TV. We also have lively discussions on music and periodically create ...more
22977 Mycology — 11 members — last activity Aug 15, 2009 12:28PM
For people who are interested in mycology and mushrooms
More of Mykle’s groups…

Comments (showing 1-30)    post a comment »
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message 30: by Mykle

Mykle Thanks! Best of success in all your overwhelming undertakings!

Scribble Orca Wishing you more vigorous pile-ups, put-downs and place-mats than you could possibly use for 2013.

And sizzaro buccess, as well.

message 28: by Kate

Kate Happy Holidays Mykle! If you have a chance you should youtube "Fruitcake" by The Superions. It's bizarre and hilarious so I think you'll like it. Destination Christmas is the album name and I'll be listening to this throughout the weekend :) CHEERS!

message 27: by Mykle

Mykle karen wrote: "oh, my god - what a thing of beauty..."

i knew you'd like that one ... wait, are you talking about the bookcase now, or the sloth?

message 26: by karen

karen oh, my god - what a thing of beauty...

message 25: by Mykle

Mykle G N wrote: "All the best in 2011, Mykle."

Thanks! You too!

Scribble Orca All the best in 2011, Mykle.

Desperado You can take up as much shelf space as you want, as long as you don't try to pimp out your books to me. *Lethal would hate to choke a bitch before Xmas*

message 22: by Scribble (last edited Dec 19, 2010 01:58AM)

Scribble Orca I suppose one could say violence is tasteful, depending on one's taste. Would you recommend your books to a middle grader? That's about my level :).

I'm not big on kittens, but I managed puppies pretty well, so I know where to start :D. Thanks.

message 21: by Mykle

Mykle Which book of yours isn't going to make me retch/wretched? I have a subzero violence/gore/ick factor threshold.

Me too actually.

I can't deny there's a lot of violence/dismemberment/people-eating in my books, but it's ... umm ... tasteful? Am I allowed to say violence is tasteful? It's not intended to shock. (But you should get a second opinion.)

EYEHEART EVERYTHING is very mild-mannered. One guy does get run over in it, but he lives. And there is a restaurant with dead people hanging from the ceiling but only on pages 126 & 127 -- skip those two. All the other pages are full of kittens!

Scribble Orca I figured if I asked Aunt Bad Advice that's what I'd get.

Which book of yours isn't going to make me retch/wretched? I have a subzero violence/gore/ick factor threshold.

Scribble Orca Autoantipriapismic oscillation.

It gets the millionaires every time.

message 18: by Mykle

Mykle It's okay: I'm secretly a hooker with a heart of gold.

message 17: by Jasmine

Jasmine G N wrote: "You're going to regret friending me. I'm sorry. I should have confessed first. I'm a millionaire."

can I have some of your money?

Scribble Orca You're going to regret friending me. I'm sorry. I should have confessed first. I'm a millionaire.

message 15: by Mykle

Mykle Really you should have one on every shelf.

message 14: by Jasmine

Jasmine I might be able to slip it onto a cultural studies food table.

message 13: by Mykle

Mykle I would love to see it misfiled in the cooking section.

message 12: by Jasmine

Jasmine when I bought your new book today the cashier got all freaked out because she thought it was nonfiction.

message 11: by Eh?Eh!

Eh?Eh! Ah! The "seagull" is "flying" "south" for the "summer" and she's very pleased with her bribe.

message 10: by Mykle

Mykle Congratulations! Your "files" have been "deleted".

Also, your "dog" has been "combed," and we have transferred two hundred thousand "lemmings" to your "handbag".

Eh?Eh! All right, I've done my side of the bargain. Now you're required to destroy the microfiche and flush the ashes.


message 8: by Mykle

Mykle All my books exceed US Military specifications for light fiction.
They can withstand three weeks in a fungus test chamber and five blows with a nine-pound-hammer. You can also use them to defend your life against any enemy soldier who is allergic to soy ink.

Jasmine I think you should know there was a fire and water dripped all over the table your books were on and ruined everything else. But your books are fine. Once you've taken on a bear clearly you can kick water's ass.

message 6: by Mykle

Mykle >melt!<

message 5: by karen

karen happy fathers day!

[image error]

message 4: by Mykle

Mykle Yish! And yet ... so festive!

message 3: by karen

karen if you look closely, it is actually a baby polar bear face. gruesome hollydays.

message 2: by Mykle

Mykle yes, the harp seal wreath is an endearing northern tradition.

message 1: by karen


[image error]

help a bear is eating christmas!

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