Michael Van Vleet

“What’s that thing when someone gets a knock on the head and suddenly can’t remember anything about himself?’
Death,’ said the barman, his face a mask of disapproval.”
― Steve Aylett, The Crime Studio

“On our last mission - our "final exam" - we were airlifted to a remote region, and we parachuted directly into a hostile enclave. We had to subdue the enemy using hand-to-hand tactics like tae kwon do and pugil sticks, cut their hair in styles appropriate to their particular face shapes, and give them perms.”
― Mark Leyner, My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist

“Locals? I hit print on the shock file, and my face was the paper that came out of the printer! Locals! I had no idea this deep into the green inferno there'd be people living! Or dying!”
― Mark Gunk, Zikki Zikki Chango

“But after all-- I say this as a kind of afterthought in conclusion-- why bother with success at all? I have observed that the successful people get very little real enjoyment out of life. In fact the contrary is true. If I had to choose-- with an eye to having a really pleasant life-- between success and ruin, I should prefer ruin every time. I have several friends who are completely ruined-- some two or three times-- in a large way of course; and I find that if I want to get a really good dinner, where the champagne is just as it ought to be, and where hospitality is unhindered by mean thoughts of expense, I can get it best at the house of a ruined man.”
― Stephen Leacock, Frenzied Fiction