Megan Cyrulewski's Blog

Reopening My Blog For A Special Reason

​I met Marty via Facebook about three years ago.  At the time, I ran a blog that featured indie and upcoming authors.  When Marty told me the concept of this book, I immediately responded to him and said, “When this book comes out and if there’s a waiting list, put me on it.”
 
I was so excited when Marty send me a PDF copy.  I wish I could say I devoured it in one sitting but this book hit me a lot deeper than I expected.  I obviously knew the concept, what it’s like to be friends with someone who has a mental illness, but I found myself walking away from my computer several times.
 
The vast range of emotions you will experience while reading this book might surprise you even if you have never experienced mental illness.  I felt myself “talking” to the book while I was reading.  It seemed like I cried when reading about Fran crying or getting angry when reading about Marty’s anger. 
 
I found myself shaking my head in disbelief many times wondering how an international friendship like this one works so well.  How can Fran possibly rely on Marty when she’s in Maine and he’s in England?  How can Marty feel like he is “there” for Fran when he’s in England and she’s in Maine?  But somehow, someway, they make it work.
 
I think you have to understand that when reading this book, the amount of time that Marty and Fran put into building a friendship, which began on social media, is phenomenal.  It shows that you don’t have to live in the same city, state or even country to form the bonds of friendship.  You just need love and that, I believe, is the key to Fran and Marty’s friendship.
 
A bond of love built on understanding, kindness, caring, strength, and willpower.  A bond of love regardless the circumstances that may test them both.  A bond of love that will continue to grow even when there are setbacks.  A bond of love that will never break and cannot be broken.
 
Fran and Marty are two extraordinary people.  They are two people giving us the gift of sharing their story. 
 
And what a gift it is.
 

Book buy link:  https://www.amazon.com/High-Tide-Low-Friends-Disorder/dp/8283310216/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1474303352&sr=8-3&keywords=high+tide+low+tide
 
 

It's Been Fun But It's Time For This to End

After weeks of consideration, I finally decided that it is time to say goodbye to my blog.  I haven't posted much in the last few months and have been wondering for a while whether or not to keep my blog.  

My mediation practice is really picking up only after a year of being in business.  For the first time in my life, I can say that I love my job.  Every case is different and brings many challenges - and I love that.  I'm also getting many opportunities to meet people within the law field and I'm reconnecting with my law school.  A couple of weeks ago, I volunteered to judge a law school competition and it was so much fun!  My heart skips a beat when I get a new court-appointed case in the mail.  I thought that I could keep up with my blog but when it comes down to my blog or work, I have to pick the one that is going to pay the bills.

But there is a bigger reason why I am choosing to close my blog.  Madelyne asked about her father this past weekend.  I was waiting for it but my heart still broke in pieces when it came.  It's not right that I have to explain to my 5-year-old that she has a father but why he isn't in her life.  And after telling her all the lies like he still loves her or maybe he'll come back, she looked at me with and asked, "Did I do something wrong?"

No, my sweet little girl.  You didn't do anything wrong.  You had the misfortune to have a man incapable of love as your father.  That was my wrong and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it right.

I don't know how many of you saw Kelly Clarkson's emotional performance on Idol of her new song, "Piece by Piece."  It's about how her father abandoned her when she was little, how she found a man to show her love and a promise to her daughter that she will never leave her.  It was this performance that made up my mind to shut down my blog.

He walked away from her.  I've begged.  I've cried.  I've pleaded.  All to no avail.  He walked away and has told me that he doesn't care if he ever sees her.  If he doesn't care, then he shouldn't have the privilege of knowing anything about her.

When we last spoke over a year ago, he mentioned something that I wrote in one of my blogs.  At the time I was happy that he read my blog because my blog is where I found my voice to tell him how I really felt.  

But I don't need to do that anymore.  In fact, I haven't felt that need in a long time.  

It's time that I let go of this blog and become more private.  

I've enjoyed getting to know everyone who has ever contacted me through my blog.  It's been fun reading all of the comments.  But this is the right decision.  On March 5, 2016, I will be closing my blog for good.  Thank you everyone who has ever visited my blog.  I'm glad I made you smile or laugh.  :)  

​And for those of you read my blog and are also my friends, I'll see you on Facebook.  

Love,
Meg xoxo

PS - My brother has been waiting for this for two years now - I'm sorry for anything that I ever wrote on my blog that hurt your feelings.  That was never my intention.  

"Living With Severe Food Allergies" by Cari Minch

This book was designed to help anyone with food allergies or food intolerances. Use it as a reference guide to make it easier to detect the foods and food groups that cause many uncomfortable, embarrassing or even dangerous symptoms. You will find many hidden, scientific names of food allergens and be better equipped when you do your shopping.  Of course, there are great allergy-free recipes, too

​Now Available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Living-Severe-Food-Allergies-Minch/dp/1519419783/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1456439568&sr=8-1&keywords=living+with+severe+food+allergies

Waist Training - Are You Serious?

Ah yes - Thank you Kardashians for bringing yet another ridiculous trend to the public:  waist training.  

Look, I'm all about trends in the now.  I am so in love with the fact that yoga pants are the new jeans.  In fact, I don't even remember the last time I wore jeans.  I also love that comfort is trendy.  In the summer, my go-to outfit is a tank top, t-shirt and yoga pants (or yoga capris.)  Thank you Old Navy.

Yoga is making a huge comeback.  I swear I'm going to try ariel yoga after I lose some more weight so I don't look like an elephant swinging from the ceiling and breaking the roof.  Dance video games are huge.  Madelyne and I dance to Disney Just Dance.  I even downloaded the songs to my phone so we can listen to them and make up our own dance.  (Okay, I totally just lied about that.  I downloaded them to my phone so I can sing them in my car when no one is around.)

But waist training?  You have GOT to be kidding me.  Waist training was popular 200 hundred years ago.  Back then, it was called a corset and ladies wore them underneath their 100 pound frocks to look skinnier.  Most of the time their air was cut off (remember when Keira Knightly's character fell into the ocean because she passed out in Pirates of the Caribbean?)  

It amazes me that so many women are like, "Rah Rah the new feminism!  Women rock!  Men Suck!"  And then they go home and put on a fricken corset to look skinner.  Wait, I'm sorry, I meant waist trainer.

Just the name makes me roll my eyes so hard.  Waist trainer.  What exactly are you training?  For the love of GOD, someone please tell me how a corset is now an exercise tool called a waist trainer???

All it does is suck your stomach in and rearrange your internal organs.  We already have Spanx and Gastric Bypass to do that.  If you are overweight, do you honestly think a waist trainer is going to make you into a size 2 in time for your date tonight?

And before you get mad, I am overweight and the thought of putting on a waist trainer makes me laugh so hard.  I would have muffin bottom because my c-section pooch and stomach would be pushed out of the bottom of the waist trainer.  

Picture this:  I'm on a date.  (Okay - I know that's hard to picture because I haven't dated in over 3 years but just bear with me.)  Before my date, I put on my waist trainer.  Hello muffin bottom  What to do? I grab a pair of spanx to cover the muffin bottom.  I put on my nice pair of black yoga pants, which can easily look dressy with the right top.  I put on a low-cut top in hopes that my date will look at my cleavage, which is already pretty sizable but when you add more volume because the waist trainer is pushing the girls up even more, he will not notice the spillage of fat near the bottom of my body.  I can barely breathe so I talk in a whisper.  I can't eat because I'm afraid my waist trainer will pop so I nibble on salad.  At this point, do you know what I want to do?  Throw down my half of the check, run home, take everything off and sit naked on the couch with popcorn letting everything just spill where it wants.  

Waist trainers have got to be the dumbest new trend I have ever seen.  Please, for the love of God, do not buy into this ridiculousness.  Leave this dumb trend on the dumbest show on TV where it belongs.

The Only Two Pieces of Parenting Advice You Will Ever Need to Know

Believe me when I say that I am not that parent that freely gives advice to every pregnant person I see.  I HATED getting advice when I was pregnant and I still hate it now.  I'm not talking the good advice, I'm talking the common sense rhetoric advice:

"You better sleep now because you'll need it later!"  (What does this even mean?  Is there a sleep "bank" where you can store sleep hours and withdraw them when you need them?  If there is, why can't that be included in this piece of advice?)

"Your (enter age here) child doesn't do (enter activity here)?  When my child was (enter same age here) she was (enter some type of Harvard accomplishment here)."  

I could go on and on but we've all heard the same ridiculous things people say.  So why do I want you to read my two pieces of advice?  First, they came from professionals, and second, I honestly wouldn't write a blog about it if I didn't believe that every parent needs these two pieces of advice.  

1.  "When help is offered, take it."

When I was hospitalized for an infection right after my c-section, my friend Jess came to the hospital one night to keep me company.  A really awesome nurse sat with us for the longest time and talked about how hard having a new baby really is.  I didn't know it then, but I was in the beginning of postpartum depression.  Since then, I've found out that the number one reason women do not seek treatment for PPD is because they don't want to admit they need help.  We, as moms, are supposed to do it all and do it with a smile.  We are also human and if we are deprived of sleep, or normal activities like going to the store, we start to become overwhelmed.

The nurse said to us, "When help is offered, take it."  Since then, I have truly believed this is the one best piece of parenting advice that parents NEED to take.  

People always offer help after a baby is born.  Yes, you have the ones who are saying it to be nice, however, for those who already have kids and are offering to help, we really are offering to help.  We know what you are going to look like in exactly three days of leaving the hospital.  You will be wearing the same outfit (underwear included) that you left the hospital in, forget about a shower, and you have are on the brink of sleep deprivation.  It's miserable, it's so much change, and you're happy but your sad.  TAKE THE HELP.

No one is judging you for asking for or accepting help.  If anything, we hold you in high admiration that you held out for three days without asking for help!  

We also want to help because we are selfish too.  I don't want another baby, but that doesn't mean I won't cuddle one when given the chance!  Offering to help with a baby, toddler, child, etc., gives me the chance to go back in time a little bit.  And it gives you time to leave the house and walk around Kroger mindlessly for a couple of hours.  Everyone's happy!

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.  It does take a village so don't feel bad wanting help.  Ask for it and accept it.  It doesn't make you a bad person.  It makes you a parent.

2.  "Your child's tears are not your tears."

This piece of advice is very recent.  Madelyne, my 5-year-old, is seeing a child therapist.  Madelyne sees her one day and then I have a private session the next.  In a session last November, I was telling the therapist about how bedtime was becoming exhausting.  It's turned into an ordeal.  Through talking it out with Madelyne, we figured out that she likes calming music to help her fall asleep.  Since November, bedtime has been a 180.  But I'll never forget what her therapist told me while I was talking about bedtime.  I was in tears because I couldn't stand when I forced Madelyne to go back to her bed and she started crying.  Her therapist then said, "Her tears are not your tears."

She asked me why I cried.  I said because I felt guilty for making Madelyne cry.  She then asked me why Madelyne cried.  I said because she was angry.  Two sets of tears, two sets of reasons.  And it totally makes sense.

When Madelyne cries, my tears are guilt, feelings of failure, hurt, and pain because I love her so much and to see her cry rips my heart out.  

Madelyne is 5.  To her, crying is simple cause and effect:  
Her tears + my tears = Mommy gives in.

She knows that if she cries, I usually give in.  She's not doing it to be mean.  She is manipulating me with her tears but she doesn't know how to be manipulative.

I can't tell you how much this piece of advice has changed me in just two short months.  Now when Madelyne cries, I let her cry it out.  For her birthday, we put a tent in her room and when she's mad or crying, she sits in it.  I wait until she is ready to talk and while I'm waiting, I'm not crying.  She's angry and one of the ways she knows how to express her anger is to cry.  So I let her.  But we always talk after about why she was angry.

At bedtime, she has pulled the crocodile tears a few times that once tore me up.  But guess what?  I don't cry.  I don't cry because I know she's not hurting or in pain.  I'm not a terrible mom and my child does not hate me.  She's angry and trying to get her way.  And she's trying to get me to cry so that I will give in.

I have to admit, there have been a couple of times since November that has been hard but that is when I ask my Mom for help.  My Mom has NO problem putting her foot down!  

Are there going to be times you are going to cry because your child is crying?  Absolutely.  Madelyne had to get 3 immunizations at her last check-up.  She was crying and yelling, "Mommy."  I'm bawling because I feel bad for her.  No one wants three shots but she was a champ!

Sometimes Madelyne will catch me off guard.  Last week was a rough week for me and when I was putting Madelyne to bed one night, she hugged me and said, "I'm so happy you're my mommy."  I could barely make it our her door before collapsing in my pool of tears.  No, little one, you don't know how happy I am that you are my daughter.  

Parenting is the hardest job in the world.  It's the only job that you don't get any practice for and I don't care what you say, you will never be able to convince me that carrying around an egg for a week in high school for home economics class was practice.  

At the end of the day, if your child is happy and healthy, you're already a doing a great job.  Just remember that help is never far away and that your tears are different.

And for the love of God, don't be that parent that tells new parents to get their sleep in before the baby comes....

When Grandpas Become Role Models For Granddaughters

It's my Dad's 70th birthday today and I'm writing a blog about him because he is the perfect example of what all men should aspire to be.  Okay, maybe I'm bias, however, bear with me and you'll know why I feel the way I do.

People always say that girls marry someone like their father.  Ummm...let me be the first to admit that that is not always true.  Do I want Madelyne to grow up to be with someone like her father?  Good Lord and all the Saints, can I get a "hell no" up in here?  But thankfully, I don't have to worry about that.  See, she may have half of his DNA but thank GOD she is nothing like him.  She doesn't even know him.  He hasn't seen her since 2012. 

The last time I talked to her father is when I called him crying, asking him to call me back because he needed to give his consent for Madelyne to receive therapy.  He never got back to me.  That's when I had my epiphany.  Why the hell am I trying to make this man...this thing...care about his daughter when she has a perfect male role model in her life since the day she was born?

My Dad worked and my Mom was a SAHM but he always had time for my brother and I.  He never missed my softball games.  In high school, he left work early to make it to every single one.  He practiced with me on the weekends.  Took me to the batting cages.  Those are some of my favorite memories.

But he was tough too.  He never let me win a game just because I was a kid and he was a parent.  He taught me to play chess in 4th grade.  When we were on a 9 hour flight to Hawaii in 8th grade, I won my first game of chess against him.  Now granted, he might have been tired, HOWEVER, I'll take the win anyway.  It's 25 years later and I still remember how I felt when I won.  I can close my eyes and picture that exact moment.  I was on cloud nine for the rest of that trip all because of my first win.  I haven't beaten him since but I'll always have that first win.

When I was going through postpartum depression, my Dad visited me at the hospital every night during visiting hours.  My ex-husband visited me once.  My Dad held my hand when I cried and hugged me when I needed a boost.  A couple of months ago, I had a terrible reaction to steroids which heightened my anxiety and made me cry uncontrollably.  He stayed home from work and watched Modern Family with me all day so I could laugh instead of cry.  

That's the role model my daughter gets to see every day.  My Dad plays "Captain Hook" with Madelyne and acts out the parts of Captain Hook and Mr. Smee.  He tickles her.  He laughs at her jokes.  He picks her up from school when I can't make it.  He's held her while she's cried.  He's danced with her in the kitchen while she sings "Let it Go" for the 4 millionth time.  

And all of that is what he does for his family. Do you want to know what he does for everyone else?

He was the President of his high school class in 1964 and has organized a reunion every 5 years since 1969.  He has been a part of Troy Daze, the annual fair in our community since 1980.  He was the Chairman from the beginning of the 90s to 2006, took a break, and is back helping again.  He is President of Leadership Troy, a non-profit in Troy who raises money for other non-profits in Troy,  He is on the Board of the Woodward Community Foundation and in that organization, he created the SHARP program: a program where volunteers fix up odds and ends in senior citizens' homes such as changing light bulbs to raking leaves, etc.  He was the Distinguished Citizen of Troy in 1987 for all of his volunteer work.  He doesn't ask for recognition even though people give him plaques all the time.  He is extremely humble when accepting and if he does have to give an acceptance speech, he thanks everyone else.  

I could go on and on but I think you all get the picture.  My Dad is kind, caring, thoughtful, giving, and the best damn Grandpa that I've ever seen.  How lucky is Madelyne that she has my dad as her male role model in life?  Because it doesn't get better than him.  

Love you Dad.  Happy Birthday.

The State of the Union Makes Us Look Like Idiots

There.  I said it.  And the picture above proves it.  One side standing and one side sitting.  

When I moved into my parents house about 5 years ago, we watched a State of the Union address all together...and that was the last time.  So I admit, I didn't watch the actual address.  I was binge-watching Making A Murderer like the majority of the country.  But I figured that like before, I would catch up the next day when I read the news.

Here's what I learned the next morning:  who threw "shade" at the President, why the military didn't stand up, what parts were cheered and booed and why the Republicans hate Democrats.  I didn't learn anything about the actual politics of the speech.  And if that's what I learned by reading the news the next morning, what did people around the world learn? 

The Republicans sat and pouted every time the big bad man at the podium said something they didn't like. The Democrats cheered and whistled like they were at a high school football game every time their "quarterback" said something they liked.  So basically our government looked liked a bunch of toddlers and drunk high school students at a football game.  And you wonder why Justice Ginsberg fell asleep last year?  Do you blame her?

Can't the government fake it and act they get along for the sake of their constituents for an hour once a year?  They fake like they care  about us the other 364 days of the year so why is it so hard at the State of the Union address?  

I seriously have to wonder if the lone politician in the bunker really has it so bad.  He's probably playing Poker with the Secret Service, eating steak and drinking beer. He doesn't have to fake a damn thing.  If I were a politician, I would totally volunteer to be in the bunker every year instead of sitting watching my fellow government officials make fools of themselves and the country.

And then the best part is after the State of the Union, an opposing party representative addresses the media stating how awful the President's speech was, how they want their mommies and all just want to go home.  When did this start???  

Look, I'm not trying to debate one party or another.  I actually don't even care about political parties anymore because technically I've "crossed" party lines in other presidential elections.  I mean, it's crazy but I actually like to vote for the candidate, not the party.  It's shocking, I know.  

I just wish the government knew what a bunch of idiots they look like during the speech.  Both sides of the government.  And that's what the rest of the world sees.  A bunch of grown-ass men and women acting like idiots.      

How the hell are we even still called the United States of America when we can't be united after a one-hour speech?

New Years Resolutions from a 37-year-old Single Mom who Lives with her Parents

I'm not going to lie; 2015 was a rough one.  There were good things: Madelyne started horseback riding lessons, she's learning to write (see above), we took our first family vacation, we moved into a bigger house, I started my own practice and Madelyne had her first birthday party.  

I don't want to say 2015 was horrendous, it was more like...shocking.  Many of you noticed that I stopped promoting my book.  That was a personal decision I made because "Heather" (my ex-husband's wife who was in my book) tragically passed away last February at the age of 38.  Two months later, an old boss of mine passed away at the age of 50.  One month later, my best friend from middle school passed away at the age of 36.  

My ex-husband got remarried (for the 4th time) and his new wife introduced herself to me via text with the opening line, "Listen you fat lazy bitch."  So that was lovely.  This led to the second phone number change in under three years.  Let's hope this new number stays private, which is why only about 10 people have it.

Madelyne started preschool in the Troy School District but we pulled her three weeks into the program because her teacher kept putting Madelyne in timeout because of her "behavioral" problems.  Turns out after a child psychologist assessment, Madelyne was bored because she has an IQ of 121.  Look, my ex is a moron so I was hoping to have a child with an average IQ so it's an understatement to say that was shocking.  If she didn't look so much like my ex when she was born, I would swear it was immaculate conception.  (My mom even asked me if I was sure my ex was the father.)  

I kept gaining weight all year but was in denial until about September when my comfy clothes were no longer comfy.  After a panel of blood work, long story short - my body doesn't like me.  

So yeah - 2015 can kiss it.  

Now on to 2016.

I really don't like resolutions, maybe because I don't keep them.  I figured if I wrote them on my blog, maybe I'll stick to them.  There are four main resolutions I want to stick to this year:

HEALTH

Thank GOD I have my first appointment with an endocrinologist on Thursday.  I know that there are a lot more tests that need to be done.  I also know that it takes months to find the right dosage of meds to fix whatever is wrong so that my metabolism will work again and I can lose weight.  I am extremely self-conscious about the way I look but every time I right a blog post or a FB status about my struggle, people thank me for being so open.  I also know, though, that there are worse problems than what I'm going through so I know to be thankful that in comparison, I don't have it so bad.  Which leads me to my next resolution...

POSITIVITY

The last 5 years have been stressful.  But the biggest lesson I learned throughout all of the struggles is that there is good that comes out of everything.  Never in a million years do I regret my marriage because without it, I wouldn't have Madelyne.  I've said it before and I'll say it again:  before Madelyne I had a life.  She taught me how to live.  It is close to impossible to be negative all the time when you have a child.  Yes sometimes I want to scream, pull out my hair, stay in bed, etc.  But that's called being a parent and is all part of the experience.  

I want Madelyne to always keep her love for life.  She is always so positive about everything.  She is the first to comfort you if you don't feel well.  If she sees me crying, she gives me a hug and tells me that everything is okay.  (Who is the adult here?)  

I still live with my parents and I don't have any plans to move out.  I was embarrassed about this for the longest time but you know what?  Those who judge me for it don't know my story and that's okay.  I was probably my harshest critic so I understand people looking in from the outside wondering why I still live with my parents.  If you want to know, all you have to do is ask!  But this kind of leads me to my next resolution...

NEED TO GET OUT MORE

I seriously need to get out more.  For a while after my divorce, friends invited me out for girls' nights or drinks.  Slowly those invitations have not been so forthcoming.  Probably because I usually decline them.  I'm a huge homebody and there is nothing I like more than reading a good book after I put Madelyne to bed.  I honestly don't remember the last time I went out for drinks with the girls.  

HOWEVER - this does not mean I want to start dating.  I'm not against it but let's just say I'm not actively looking for it either.  It has nothing to do with how lovely (sarcasm) my marriage was; it's more like my priorities are Madelyne, family, friends and then maybe dating.  The truth is, I don't feel good about the way I look and I don't feel attractive.  (I'm not looking for compliments, just stating the facts.)  So it's just easier for me to meet a friend for coffee in yoga pants than get dressed up and meet a stranger.  Let's just say it's going to have to be a very special person to get me to want to go out in something other than yoga pants.  I don't really have a good transition into my last resolution but here it is anyway...

WRITING

I love my mediation practice.  I love everything about it but that is my job.  I need to write because writing is my outlet.  There is nothing better than writing a blog and hearing from someone that they had a good laugh or they feel the same way.  I love to connect to people through my writing and people must love connecting to me because I get over 9,000 visitors to my website a week.  Not too shabby!  

I'm going to keep writing on my blog.  I'm going to keep you all entertained with Madelyne stories.  I'm going to write about subjects such as postpartum depression.  And yes, sometimes I feel the need to share about the stupidity of my ex because it's just too damn funny not to.  

My goal for the end of the year is to finish my crime fiction novel that I started working on last year.  A lot of people have asked me to write another memoir starting where I left off in my first memoir.  Before someone else asks me this question, I'm sorry to tell you but I'm not going to be writing another memoir.  To write my book was therapeutic and healing.  It helped other women know they are not alone.  I've made awesome friends and connections through my book.  Besides, I think everyone is caught up with my life via my blog posts so there's really nothing more to say.

Plus, I'm kind of having fun writing my novel.  But just in case the FBI knocks on my door because my google searches include, "How to make a murder look like a car accident" or "where to get arsenic," you are all my alibi...

So here's to a new year!  Cheers! 

  

A Christmas Lesson From A Child

Celebrating Christmas as adults is far different from when we were kids.  As adults, between shopping, baking, cleaning, decorating and having the kids home for Christmas vacation, a lot of us can't wait until Christmas is over.  Basically, by the time we are adults, we lose the magic of Christmas.

The past couple of nights have been difficult.  Madelyne is not staying in her bed and by the third time she comes out, I'm tired, cranky and frustrated.  When I put her to bed last night, I told her not to come out.  Twenty minutes later, my door opens.  She asked me to wind up her globe again.  (Music helps her fall asleep.)  I sighed, went in to wind the globe and told her not to come out again.

Fifteen minutes later, she's back out.  After going back and forth I told her I was going to wind it up one more time.  If she comes out again, I'm not doing it again.  I wind it up, kiss her good night and told her she better stay in her room.  Ten minutes later, my door opens.  Exasperated, I say, "Madelyne..." and then stop.  She's crying.  Did she hurt herself?  Is she sick?  Ear infection?  Tummy ache?  I asked her why she was crying and she answered through her tears:

"I'm so sorry Mommy.  I want to fall asleep but I'm so excited for Christmas.  I'm so tired but I'm so excited."

My heart broke.  

I remember that frustration too when I was little.  I was never able to sleep around the holidays.  I was so excited for everything.  Family, Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas carols at Church, decorations, and of course, Santa.  

I used to be that person who brought out the Christmas decorations the day after Thanksgiving.   I never listened to any music other than Christmas music from the day after Thanksgiving to the day after Christmas.  I put change in every Salvation Army red bucket I passed by.  But somewhere along the way, I lost that excitement.  

It took my child's tears to bring it back.

 How blessed am I to see the magic and wonderment of Christmas through the eyes of my daughter?  The sparkle of the Christmas lights that reflect in her eyes.  The delight in knowing that her Uncle Jeff is flying all the way from California and will be here soon.  And of course, the belief in Santa Claus.

As I wiped the tears from Madelyne's cheeks, I asked if she wanted to sleep in my bed.  Her smile was my answer.  

As she drifted off into sleep, I lay awake and tears started rolling down my cheeks.  Not sad tears, mind you.  But thankful tears.  Thankful that for some reason, God chose me to be Madelyne's mommy.  I learn from her all the time. Last night is a lesson that I will never forget:

The magic of Christmas through the eyes of a child is the true meaning of Christmas.  

Are You Tired of Putting "Disclaimers" On Your Facebook Posts?

I feel like people get so offended these days that if I post anything that could be construed harsh, political, religious, etc. I have to put a disclaimer on my FB post first.  For example, Will Ferrall was on SNL this past weekend and opened the show as George W. Bush.  There's a point during the skit where a picture of Donald Trump is shown and Will Ferrall completely breaks character and is almost falling over.  I love when cast members break character because it makes the skit even funnier.  I was about to post the video on FB until I realized that I would have to put this disclaimer:  "I'm not posting this for political reasons, I just think the video is funny."  But then I remembered that I did that before (a couple of years ago) and a funny harmless SNL video post turned into a heated political debate.  UGH.

Why do people turn innocent FB statuses into debates?  This past August, my friend was driving home from my house when she had to pass the Woodward Dream Cruise.  A nice family event.  She saw Planned Parenthood posters - you know the ones that show an aborted 20-week-old fetus?  She posted that she didn't think those posters should be up at a family event.  Totally agree.  However, a couple of people cut in and began spewing their views on abortion.  I think she finally put a disclaimer saying she just didn't think the poster was appropriate.

Another example:I don't like my ex-husband.  The only positive thing he's ever done in this world is help create Madelyne.  About a year ago, when he was in between wives, he contacted me hoping to get back together.  After a conversation I had with him, I posted the following status:  

​​"My ex-husband actually told me the other day that he prays for me every night to one day find 'love in my heart for him again.' I asked him how that was working because I told him I’ve prayed for him to be hit by a bus the last three years and obviously so far, my prayers haven’t been answered."  

Most people on my FB know my sense of humor and liked the post.  Some even agreed with me.  And then there were those that were like, "You shouldn't pray for someone's death!"  One person even said, "You shouldn't post about your ex-husband like that."

First, I don't pray for his death but if something happened to him, I wouldn't cry.  That's just me being honest.  Second, I've EARNED the right to say anything I want because that man put me through hell, hell and more hell.  I can't even repeat all of the abuse he spewed at me because it's so vile.  I look forward to the next time I see him because it will probably be in prison when he's arrested for his 3rd domestic violence assault against wife number 4; and I want that image of him in prison orange imprinted on my mind because that will make me smile.  

Anyway, my point is this:  there are a lot of people on FB who post about relationships, exes, problems, etc.  Is it to vent?  A little.  Most, though, it's because others have been in the same situation and it's nice to hear encouragement and advice.  I've given advice to people I've never met in real life but I've become friends with on FB and vice versa.  So stop making people feel bad about that because most of the time, you don't know the entire backstory behind a simple post.

My daughter, Madelyne, was evaluated and has an IQ in the "gifted" range.  I posted this on FB but added the disclaimer, "I'm not bragging.  I just want to know if others out there have a gifted child and need advice on academics, behavioral, etc."  It surprised the heck out of me that people I've known for years have gifted children but never post anything for fear of being judged.  Madelyne got accepted to two private schools in this area.  She had to be evaluated at both schools so it's not a simple "pay-to-get-in" situation.  We've chosen her school for next year.  I haven't posted about it on FB because I don't want to get into a debate about public schools vs. private schools.  I'm a proud mommy bursting with pride and outside of the family, I've shared our decision with 2 people.  That's sad.

There are people I'm friends with on FB who post their views about everything under the sun - and that's okay too!  I may not agree with it, but it doesn't bother me.  I simply scroll past it.  I actually applaud those people who post what could be taken as controversial posts because they have the balls to do it and not care what other people say.  

Look, can we all agree that everyone had different views on abortion, politics, gun control, religions, same sex marriage, immigration, economy, parenting, men, women, children, schools, pizza toppings, pepsi or coke, and probably 800 other things that I can't remember right now?  Everyone has opinions.  We're all entitled to our opinion.  But social media is supposed to be fun.  We post pictures of our kids, holidays, weather, nature, or the like because we want to share.  

I just wish people wouldn't be so easily offended by a simple FB post.  Why is it so hard to just "like" a post or scroll past it?  I once was friends with someone on FB but his posts were SO over-the-top offensive (racist offensive) that I unfriended him.  Problem solved.  He's probably still spewing his bigotry on FB but at least I don't have to read it anymore.

If you are open about your beliefs and share them on FB, good for you.  Keep doing it and don't change.  But for those of us who post to post and share to share, please remember that we're not out to offend anyone.  If you can't handle my sarcasm, my vents, my "bragging" about Madelyne, then either scroll past my posts, hide my posts from your feed, or unfriend me.  It's that simple.