Kathleen Pooler's Blog, page 29
August 1, 2016
Memoir Writing Highlights From The IWWG Summer Conference
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his work.” Virginia Wolff
Muhlenberg campus
Preparing for a writer’s conference with a clear set of goals is one of the valuable lessons I have gleaned over these past seven years of attending conferences.
I just returned from the 39th Annual IWWG Summer Conference, energized and ready to complete the first draft of my second memoir. With a laser-focus, I made sure to attend the workshops that I felt would propel me to the finish line…
Then life interfered after I returned home when I tripped over a cement bumper on my way out of the massage therapist’s office for my biweekly session, part of my self-care regimen. The next four days were filled with an ambulance ride to my local hospital, X-rays, CT Scans, two surgeries and a left arm cast. My left wrist and forearm were shattered in three places.
It’s true. “Life is what happens when you’re planning something else.”
I have six weeks of healing ahead–no driving, and limited use of left arm and hand. I write this blog post with my good right hand as I await a surgical repair with plates and screws.
I promised you some highlights now that I’ve had some time to reflect and absorb the “magic” of the Guild:
Well-known Memoir Author and Teacher Maureen Murdock presented “The Art of Memoir” covering carnality (use of sensory detail), character development, dialogue, structure, ethics and liability
Memoir Teacher and Author Maureen Murdock and I sat side by side at the Book Fair. Maureen’s memoir, Blinded by Hope will be published in November ,2016. She will be my blog guest in November.
Highlights:
Maureen presented a comprehensive review of memoir with a focus on carnality–bringing characters and events alive to the reader through scenic details, character development, voice, structure, reflection and takeaways.
After each writing exercise, she prompted us to answer these three questions as a way of digging deeper into our stories:
What do I know now that I didn’t know then?
How do feel?
What more do I want to find out?
The overall goal is to deepen the characters, create believable dialogue and have a clear takeaway message.
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With Workshop and Visionary Thought Leader Jan Phillips at IWWG Book Fair
Author and Visionary Thought Leader, Jan Phillips, explored “Stop Learning, Start Knowing”, challenging us to believe in our voices and to use them in meaningful ways to change the world; to awaken to our own sacredness and to master the ordeal so as to transform to gratitude.
She challenged us with questions, such as:
In what form can your words be of use to the world?
Are you aware of your gifts?
What energies or actions do you aspire to?
And encouraged us to “love ourselves back into healing”.
Perhaps, the most important message:
The world needs your story. What are you waiting for?
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Author and Writing Teacher Eunice Scarfe
Author and Writing Teacher, Eunice Scarfe invited us to “bring our reader into our lived experience” by focusing on structure in her workshop, “Writing Adrift”.
“Stop the narrative and get in touch with feelings vs informing or summarizing.”
She believes that “in every person lives an artist: a creator, a maker, a person driven by the desire and need to express.”
After each writing exercise, she encouraged us to draw a line and write, “Well done,….”
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Suzi Banks Baum is an artist, actress, writer, teacher, community organizer, and mom. She’s passionate about helping women find their creative voice and live focused, joy-filled lives. I attended her “Mapping Motherhood” workshop where she guided us through a meditation and then on to a “messy”, mixed media exercise where we drew, colored, collaged our way through a home in our past as a way of tapping into our memories. I chose my childhood home:
As you can see, it is messy but it conjured up many childhood memories to recapture in story.
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Kathleen O’Shea on left
Kathleen O’Shea is a former nun and author of Women on the Row:Revelations From Both Sides of the Bars. Her workshop was”Writing From Your Religious Past”. Her prompt was a page of religious terms, “priest, rabbi, chalice, synagogue, etc” from which we circled five terms and began writing. The prompt took me to the memory of my First Communion Day where my dad had to carry me up the church steps because I had Rheumatic Fever and couldn’t exert myself. Upon reflection, the embarrassment I felt that day melted into a deep sense of gratitude for Dad’s compassion and gentleness.
A highlight for me in meeting Kathleen is to hear about her work with a women’s shelter in Rochester, New York. Due to the bare-bones nature of dorm living, the IWWG staff bought blankets, towels and desk lamps at the local Target’s. We then purchased the items for our rooms and decided to donate them to Kathleen’s shelter when we left–one example of the spirit of the Guild.
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The only downside was not being able to attend other fabulous workshops. The magic and lessons of the week are still with me as I transition back to day-to-day life where I remain committed to nurturing my creativity, despite the broken bones.
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How about you? What are some highlights from writer’s conferences you have attended?
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
ANNOUNCEMENT:
Congratulations, Joan Rough. Your name was selected in a random drawing of commenters to receive Sean Conroy’s memoir, Through the Eyes of a Young Physician’s Assistant!
This Week:
“How Rock “N Roll Inspires Me In My Writing: A WOW Blog Tour with David Berner. Davis is the author of a debut novel, Night Radio: A Love Story. He will offer a book giveaway to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
Next Week:
Monday, 8/8/16:
“How Ghostwriters Help Memoirist” by CS Streetlights.
CS Streetlights is a ghostwriter and the author of a memoir, Tea and Madness, and has graciously offered to give away a copy to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
July 25, 2016
A Physician’s Assistant Shares His Story: An Interview with Memoir Author Sean Conroy
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Sean Conroy/@SeanConroyPAc
”I will never be able to forget the first time one of my patients died. I will always be able to picture an elderly man clutching a cowboy hat, tears in his eyes, whispering into Estelle’s ear.”~ Sean Conroy, PA-c
Health care professionals bear a heavy responsibility in caring for the lives of their patients. As a registered nurse for forty-four years and a family nurse practitioner for the last fifteen of those years, I know the joys and sorrows of helping patients get better or assisting them in their final hours. Nurse practitioners and physician’s assistants are key parts of modern health care teams. Many people are confused about the difference. Although we have different preparation and licensing requirements–a nurse practitioner is an advanced practice registered nurse who functions under a nursing license using the “nursing model”; a physician’s assistant is trained under the “medical model” and functions under the license of a physician, Although nurse practitioners can open their own independent practices, both entities serve a similar patient population and function within a similar scope of practice. I have worked with many excellent physician’s assistants and am thrilled to feature Memoir Author Sean Conroy in this guest post. Sean and I met through our mutual publisher, Open Books Press. Sean will tell us about himself and his new memoir.
Through The Eyes a Young Physician Assistant is a fascinating glimpse into the real-world training of a physician’s assistant.
My reviews of Through The Eyes of a Young Physician’s Assistant can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle.
Welcome, Sean!
Memoir Author Sean Conroy, PAc
Through the Eyes of a Young Physician’s Assistant: An Interview with Sean Conroy, PA-c
KP: Tell us a little about yourself and your memoir, Sean.
SC:
I started my career in the lab, but had a burning desire to enter the clinical side of medicine as a physician assistant. After completing the first two years of book work, I spent a year learning from doctors, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, and others on the front lines of medicine in hospitals and clinics across the state of Nebraska. I entered the first family practice rotation as a well-spoken but inexperienced PA student, and in under a year was at the bedside of severely ill and injured patients in one of Nebraska’s busiest level-one trauma centers.
This memoir follows me around the state, from one rotation to another, as I grows in knowledge and maturity. It tells the tales (some humorous, some harrowing, and occasionally heartbreaking) of patient encounters in wide variety of settings with individuals from all walks of life. From the delivery of a newborn, to the terminally ill at the end of their lives, and many in between, Through the Eyes of a Young Physician Assistant will leave you laughing and crying and with a deeper appreciation of PAs.
KP: What made you decide to write this memoir:
SC:
This book was born out of my care of one particular patient during my Internal Medicine rotation in Grand Island, Nebraska: a gentleman facing his mortality. I had taken many small steps from lowly physician assistant student toward full-grown physician assistant. This patient was my first large step. In training in medicine there are many moments that affect you. These are the moments when, if you turn and look back on your education, you realize that you will never be the same again. Something inside me changed after my time with this gentleman. He was not my first patient to die, but he was the first “young” person that I lost. Sure, he had a granddaughter, but he was young to be a grandfather, and he was too young to die. It was after caring for him that a spark inside me grew into a burning desire to share his story and the stories of others, not only because his story moved me so much, but because I felt his story would move others if I found a way to share it. There are a number of books that tell tales behind the scenes in medicine; virtually all of them written by physicians.
Photo credit : dreamstimefree.com
I wanted to fill the void in true-story-medicine of the physician assistant perspective. I very much wanted “Physician Assistant” on the front to attract people interested in the field, perhaps interested in becoming a PA. As I was writing the foreword the title just hit me as I typed the last few words of introduction. Like a flash “that’s it!” I also thought since it is the last words of the introduction it is a fun way to segue into the meat of the book.
KP: Why would someone want to read your memoir?
SC:
I wrote it so that laypeople can follow along, for them it is not only a glimpse behind the scenes of medicine, but interesting in regards to the stories which would be touching no matter which side of the white coat you were on. The book has touching, emotional glimpses into peoples’ lives, including my own, though it also has some humor. It takes a sense of humor (possibly a dark one) to survive in the world of medicine. On the other hand the book is not so simple that health care students and professionals themselves will not enjoy the stories as well, as they can certainly relate.
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Thank you, Sean for sharing your story. I felt like I was right there with you as you cared for patients and dealt with difficult co-workers. I was so impressed with your story that I bought the book for my niece who is considering becoming a PA. Your book will guide many who are considering this career option.
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Book Synopsis:
From the delivery of a newborn, to the terminally ill at the end of their lives, and many in between, Through the Eyes of a Young Physician Assistant will leave you laughing and crying and with a deeper appreciation of PAs
THE EDITOR: Vanessa Del Fabbro/Jennifer Geist
THE PUBLISHER: Open Books Press
Purchasing info:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1941799272/?tag=penandpublish-20
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/61509
Author Bio: Sean Conroy was born and raised in McCook, Nebraska. He matriculated first from Chadron State College in Chadron, Nebraska with a bachelor’s in biology (human biology option), then the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha, Nebraska with a bachelor’s in clinical laboratory science. He concluded his studies with a master’s in physician assistant studies from Union College in Lincoln, Nebraska. He has practiced medicine in Kansas in primary care, including family practice and emergency medicine, since 2010 and a physician assistant at Manhattan Urgent Care in Manhattan, Kansas.
Author Contact information:
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/seanconroyPAC
Twitter: https://twitter.com/@SeanConroyPAc
How about you? Have you had any experience being cared for by a PA?
Sean will give away a copy of his memoir to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
We’d love to hear from you.Please leave your comments below~
ANNOUNCEMENT:
Congratulations to Janet Givens for being the winner of Francie Healey’s book, Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s!
This Week:
Monday, 7/25/16:
July 2016 Monthly Newsletter: “The Gift of Words”
Next Week:
Monday, 8/1/16:
“Memoir Writing Takeaways from The IWWG Summer Conference”
July 21, 2016
From Concept to Publication: WOW Blog Tour with Francie Healey
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Francie Healey/@FrancieHealey
Alzheimer’s Disease is the most common form of dementia, and despite extensive research and some advances in treatment options, there is no current cure. Francie Healey has addressed this dilemma in a creative and positive way by promoting what she calls ” conscious wellness”, empowering us to take charge of our health through diet and lifestyle choices. In her new cookbook, Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s, she provides a well-researched practical guide for selecting brain-protective foods that reduce inflammation and help delay the onset or minimize the damage of this dreaded condition.
My reviews of her book can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle.
I’m happy to host Francie’s in her WOWWomen on Writing Blog Tour where she will discuss the story behind the story of her new book. If you leave a comment, your name will be entered into a random drawing for a copy of her cookbook.
Welcome, Francie!
Author and Certified Health Counselor Francie Healey
From Concept to Publication
For me, the creating and writing of Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s from concept to publication has been a three year long journey that has been full of technical, creative, personal and spiritual growth. This book has been an avenue for all kinds of learning: how to deal with obstacles, how to have a strong voice, how to advocate for what really matters to me, how to compromise, how to relate concepts to readers that educate and empower, how to be brave, which is also, how to be vulnerable.
I couldn’t have persevered and succeeded without my team, my family, and the support of friends and mentors. And even with help, there are some moments that must be walked alone, that really are about the growth we yearn for on a very deep level. I believe any creative project or risk we take, anything that feels like a leap of faith into the life we hope for, will bring about situations where we need to confront our own shadow. In other words, taking action towards a meaningful dream will lead us along a path that must address the inner places that had been previously holding us back. For example, it had been my habit, formed very early on in life, to surrender my voice and defer to another’s authority, even if that other’s viewpoint differed from my perspective or need. When I was faced with the opportunity to go back into this old habit and sacrifice my own vision for the book, for what another proposed it should be, I had the chance to become more conscious of this temptation and to choose differently. I am happy to say that I used that opportunity to speak up and advocate for what I wanted for Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s, and was very well received. Of course that scenario had nothing to do with anyone else, and everything to do with me, and what I personally was learning from this creative process.
From my perspective, addressing this level of psychological and spiritual growth was essential for the writing and publishing of Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s to continue moving forward. Even as I was refining my writing, researching and organizational skills, I still needed to address the deeper growth opportunity for this experience to be successful in a way that was aligned with my own vision and needs.
There were, and are, many levels operating when we pursue a project like a book, and especially I think, a first book. My experience all the way through was a bit like a juggling act, constantly moving parts that needed tracking and attention, while always holding the whole picture in mind.
Researching for Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s opened up so many paths that it was important to stay focused on what needed to be in this book, versus what would overwhelm it. I really wanted to have rich research-based content that would ground the premise of the book for readers; so they would know why I used the ingredients and recipes I did and what was happening in their bodies from the foods they were eating. Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s is based in science and good data. I want my readers to have access to that information so they feel empowered in their decisions around food. As we looked into all the research, it became clear that this is an abundant and emerging field, so it was necessary to contain the information we gathered, and bookmark areas for later research and writing projects. Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s has been an incredible project that has meant a lot to me personally and professionally, and it appears to be just a starting point for more to come. As I continue to learn and grow, I am inspired to continue sharing what I am discovering about healing and wellness.
And now that Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s is published and in the hands of readers, I am really delighted to have made such an accomplishment that will also serve as a stepping stone to even deeper dives into this area of brain health and overall wellness. I couldn’t have sustained such a project if it wasn’t a passion of mine: bringing good information to people and helping clients and readers to awaken to the potential they have, right now, to make significant positive changes in their lives. On the other side of publication, looking back, I am grateful for the process, even the rigorous challenges, which only served to strengthen me as an author. I trust that Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s will offer readers valuable insight and healing because it certainly did that for me in the writing of it.
There is something very powerful about bringing an idea into form. To make a concept, that begins somewhat as a fantasy, into a reality is a birthing process. And like birth, it is hard and messy, and takes a lot longer than we think it is going to take. Moreover, it is transformational and humbling and very tender to put something that is precious to me (like healing with foods and empowerment with education) into form and out into the world. At times the pull to protect my idea and keep it safe appeared to be in conflict with completing the book and getting it out there. So much of the journey has been about surrendering and trusting. I think that is why Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s feels like a beginning to me, rather than the end of a project. Writing it has stirred up so much passion, curiosity, and inspiration to continue learning and writing and being a voice for wellness. I had to constantly surrender any fears that would push me towards perfectionism, control, and worry. Fear does not serve the creative process. Instead, invoking trust in the writing, and my life, helped the book take form and become clear. As much as my vision for Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s was important to me, it was not about controlling the process. Allowing the book to unfold, and using my vision as an anchor point was the way I was able to move along the trajectory and eventually finish the book for publication.
Writing, for me, is a dynamic process that synthesizes all the points vying for attention and wanting to be heard. It is important to honor each voice, or each point, allowing room for all, while holding the gestalt so that everything eventually flows within one stream, accentuating the underlying message of the project. For Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s that is a message of hope and empowerment. It is a message that I had to live and breathe as I wrote the book. Infused within the content of Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s, is the grit required to put one’s health as a priority and the courage it takes to awaken to our inner authority, which knows how to take the rein and steer each of us on a path of true vitality and wellness. Ultimately, disease is not inevitable, though death will come. We can all continue to awaken to our innate worthiness for health. Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s offers a lot of tools for turning in this direction, for choosing into life more deeply and honestly, by putting our needs, physiologically and otherwise, first and foremost.
Overall, I think any creative process can be a metaphor for living life. Bringing forward authentic expression about what we care about, what we love, and who we are is indeed, a recipe for health. Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s is infused with the many layers of healing and wellness, from the nutritional basics and biochemistry, to creating a mindset of openness and kindness, to instructions for cooking and creating health with foods. As I move forward as an author and a health and wellness professional I am excited to continue exploring each layer more intimately, and sharing my explorations with the world.
Book Summary: Eat to Beat Alzheimer‘s offers a practical guide and an empowering tool to bring nourishing, healthful, and delicious food into the lives of people concerned about Alzheimer’s and other cognitive problems. Almost 9 million people in the U.S. suffer from Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia, and the toll is rapidly increasing. This book will appeal to everyone concerned about dementia and memory loss in either themselves or a loved one.
Recent research makes clear that the impact of aging on the brain can be reduced by simple diet and lifestyle modifications. The delicious food choices and easy-to-prepare recipes in this book are based on the latest findings showing that they can help slow the progression of Alzheimer’s and other conditions like it, or prevent them entirely.
Readers will gain the knowledge and tools to take charge of their health by incorporating tasty, healing foods into their diet. The information in this cookbook will be as relevant and useful 20 years from now as it is today. And the recipes will still be just as delicious.
Eat to Beat Alzheimer’s is available on Amazon & Barnes and Noble
Paperback: 200 pages
Genre: Cookbook
Publisher: Terra Nova Books (June 30, 2016)
ISBN-10: 1938288610
ISBN-13: 978-1938288616
Amazon Link: click here
About the Author:
Francie Healey is a licensed mental health counselor in private practice in Santa Fe, N.M. She specializes in the psychology of eating, helping people with health conditions to develop conscious eating habits and understand how food contributes to healing. Using her expertise to help clients manage cognitive decline through nutrition, Francie educates them on meal planning; the creation of simple, nutritious meals; and other keys to achieving a healthy relationship with food. She holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling, and is a Certified Health Counselor and a Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Find Francie Healey Online:
Website: Eat to Beat Alzheimers
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/francie.healy.7?fref=nf
Twitter: @FrancieHealey
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/franciehealey
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Thank you, Francie for sharing your passion for wellness and for providing an excellent resource for all of us to learn more about how we can take responsibility for our own health through simple, nutritious foods. You’ve also shown us how being connected to your passion for wellness and purpose for writing helped you to bring your book to fruition.
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How about you? Do you feel like you’ve taken responsibility for your own health? Do you have any questions for Francie?
A commenter will be selected at random to receive Francie’s book.
We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
Next Week:
Monday, 7/25/16:
“A Physician’s Assistant Shares His Story: An Interview with Memoir Author Sean Conroy”
Sean is the author of Through The Eyes of a Young Physician’s Assistant. He has offered to give away a copy of his memoir to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
July 18, 2016
Experiencing the Magic of the IWWG Summer Conference
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
I am excited to be reporting from the lovely campus of Muhlenberg College in Allentown, Pennsylvania this week for the 39th Annual International Women Writers Guild (IWWG) Annual Summer Conference. It’s a big deal for me to even be here as I now have to pack a cartload of supplies for peritoneal dialysis where ever I go. It was a stretch to decide but I’m glad I took the step.
It’s my statement to myself that while I may have some restrictions, I will not have to give up everything…and it is with a lot of help from my friends, that I made it.
It was the generosity and sense of humor of IWWG sisters Carol Bluestein and Leslie Neustadt that enabled me to make it happen.
We have arrived! Author friends Carol Bluestein and Leslie Neustadt show how it is possible to fit everything but the kitchen sink into a 2008 Subaru Forrester.
About the Guild:
“The International Women Writers Guild (IWWG) , founded in 1976, is a network for the personal and professional empowerment of women through writing.” You can find our more about it at the website: www.iwwg.wildapricot.org
I have attended many writing conferences,including previous IWWG conferences, since 2009 when I made a serious commitment to writing.
I speak from experience when I say writer’s conferences are both a necessity and a luxury for anyone who loves to write and wants to publish their work.
Many conferences I have attended involve didactic training about the art, craft and business of writing. IWWG offers that plus many opportunities to write and share our work. It nurtures the creativity within. The seeds for many of the scenes in my both my current and my W-I-P memoirs were planted during IWWG workshops.
But the best part –gathering with other women for networking, meeting new friends and renewing treasured friendships, laughing, crying, sharing stories in the spirit of tapping into our creative wells and honoring each others’ stories.
Memoir Teacher and Author Maureen Murdock and I sat side by side at the Book Fair. Maureen’s memoir, Blinded by Hope will be published in November ,2016. She will be my blog guest in November.
Here I am with author Mary Frances Baugh. Mary has published five books–a novel, a novella, and several poetry books.
It’s magical.
I don’t have many takeaways to share yet since I am in the process of absorbing this sacred time away to listen, reflect and bond with other women writers in a bucolic college setting. It’s a gift to myself to be here, a week-long date with my artist-self in the spirit of Julia Cameron’s Artist’s Date.
Workshops on memoir, the creative process, writing craft where we write from prompts and share with our hearts feed my soul and ignite the flames of creativity. A word here, a sentence there might lead to a self-discovery or breakthrough in a creative project.
But the heart and soul of the Guild are embodied in the individual members who come with open arms and minds to share the stories of their lives–enlightening, enriching, inspiring one another.
For me, the evening Open Reading sessions–each participant who chooses does a three-minute reading of their work– are the highlight of the conference. Some move us to tears. Some fill the room with raucous laughter. All touch us in ways expected and unexpected.
Our hearts break open and the room pulsates with emotion as stories connect with stories and we are one.
That is the spirit of the Guild~
The magic of the Guild has begun. Stay tuned for a more complete summary of takeaways on 8/1/16.
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How about you? Have you been to a writer’s conference? If so, how has it helped you?
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
***
ANNOUNCEMENT:
Congratulations to Gwendolyn Plano for winning a copy of Robin Gaiser’s memoir, Musical Morphine: Transforming Pain One Note At A Time!
This Week:
Thursday, 7/21/16:
“From Concept to Publication: A WOW Blog Tour with Francie Healey”
Francie is the author of Eat To Beat Alzheimer’s and will give away a copy of her book to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing,
July 11, 2016
Robin Gaiser Shares an Excerpt From Her Memoir, Musical Morphine
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Robin Gaiser/@RobinGaiser
“This is who I want to be in the world. This is who I think we are supposed to be, people who help call forth human beings from deep inside hopelessness.” Anne Lamott
Photo Credit: Wikipedia- Louis Gallait Power of Music
I am very pleased to feature Robin Gaiser who will share an excerpt from her new memoir, Musical Morphine: Transforming Pain One Note at a Time. Robin is a Certified Music Practitioner (CMP), which she is careful to distinguish from a Music Therapist in a disclaimer at the beginning of her book.
Robin and I met through a nurse practitioner colleague who studied with her. Robin wrote a previous post, “How Music Led Me To Memoir Writing”.
I have long felt that music has therapeutic effects for ill patients as you will see from her excerpt.
My reviews of Musical Morphine can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle.
Welcome, Robin!
Robin invites us into a day in the life of a music practitioner…
The Recreation Department office at the Extended Care facility where I was newly-hired as a therapeutic musician, was overstuffed with craft materials—felt, sequins, magic markers, pipe cleaners, colored paper, crayons, coloring books. Board games and plush animals, books, comics, playing cards, and puzzles teetered on sagging wall shelves. A cart with afternoon treats sat in the middle of the only walking space in the room. Desks were deep in paperwork. There was no place to put my instrument cases or my coat. This job, like my music, was going to require improvisation.
Linda Rains, an ample-bodied woman with long dark brown hair, a round face and a huge smile, found her way through the maze of stuff to the copy machine and made me a copy of a list of patients’ names and their room numbers. I wondered if her continual smile was her coping mechanism for getting through the day in this environment. She laid the paper down on top of a pile of newspapers and starred the names of the most needy patients with a big purple pen topped with pink feathers which she unearthed from under a heap of birthday wrapping paper. I folded the list and a blank piece of paper into my pocket along with my own simple pen. Then I jammed my harmonica into my other pocket next to my business cards, looped the lanyard bearing my new badge and hospital ID over my neck, grabbed my guitar and portable chair, and entered the first wing.
Excerpted from MUSICAL MORPHINE: Transforming Pain One Note at a Time
DEALERS CHOICE, Chapter 9:
Wheelchairs with people slumped forward, drooling and dozing, lined the hallway. A
man raised his head as I passed him. “Oh, that a guitar? You gonna play it?”
Why not, I thought, even though my real job was offering one-one one bedside music to patients.
I opened up my chair and sat down right there in the middle of the hall and began playing and singing. Way down upon the Swanee River, far, far away. There’s where my heart is yearnin’ ever , there’s where the old folks stay. Other heads lifted, empty eyes gawked at me.
Some of the blank stares yielded to signs of recognition as the music began to wake up drugged fuzzy brains. “Sing along with me,” I said. Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true. I’m half crazy all for the love of you. Then right into East Side, West Side, all around the town. I heard some weak attempts at singing. And a smile or two broke out on a couple of tired, wrinkled faces. I could just stay here all afternoon, I thought. But there was a list in my pocket with stars by the most needy folks. How could anyone be more needy than these folks here in this hallway?
I soon found out.
Emanating from the room where I was planning to offer music, was the harsh voice of awoman yelling out, “Get the hell in here. Will someone take care ‘a me?” When Helen’s name was starred on the list of patients, Linda warned me she cussed a blue streak. I entered gingerly.
Helen mistook me for a nurse. “Fix my sweater, goddam it. I’m hot. You always take so long to get in here.” Helen’s late stage Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder (COPD) left her bedridden, tethered to oxygen full time. And very grumpy. Her breathing was rapid, frantic; she was fitful and restless. She finally wrestled herself out of her sweater. This small gesture left her exhausted, sweating profusely, and heaving for breath. She noticed me. “Who are you?” she blurted out in between gasps for air.
I introduced myself and asked her if she wanted some music. “I suppose so,” she exhaled.
“Why not.” She took in another breath. “There’s nothin’ else to do in this damn place.”
She inhaled again. I remembered the information about the entrainment principle, that a person’s heartbeat, her respiration will naturally match, or entrain, to the beat of music. I began at a breakneck pace, one which matched Helen’s breathing rate. Rock a my soul in the bosom of Abraham, rock a my soul in the bosom of Abraham, rock a my soul in the bosom of Abraham, oh, rock a my soul.
I kept that beat up and then began ever so gradually to reduce the tempo, watching Helen’s chest, listening to Helen’s breathing, occasionally glancing at the heart monitor. Her inhalations and exhalations began to slow, her heart rate began to match my rhythm. I brought the tempo down some more. She stayed with me, and then I maintained a rhythm in the high normal range of seventy heartbeats per minute. I have no idea how much time this took, but her chest stopped heaving and she settled down.
“Are you a nurse?” she asked leaning forward in her hospital bed.
“No. I’m the new musician for Extended Care patients.”
“Well, you can stay here all afternoon.”
“Do you have any favorite music? Or shall I just give you dealer’s choice? ” She lookedlike a woman who may have played some poker in her day. And a woman who definitely smoked like a stack. She didn’t wear the hospital issue nightgown but donned a flimsy green number over a lace bra. There were no pictures of family around her room and her fingernails were painted a bright red.
“Dealer’s choice,” she said, winking.
I had struck a chord.
Frankie and Johnny were lovers. Oh, lordy, how they could love. They tried to be true toeach other. Just as true as the stars above. He was her man. But he done her wrong.
I accompanied myself using a snappy, jazzy style where I slapped the side of my guitar as I played the chords. Pretty soon I noticed those red fingernails tap, tap, tapping out the rhythm, her tired head swaying back and forth in time.
I played a few more familiar tunes and glanced at my watch. I was planning to get in twohours of music today, cover an entire hallway, and already over a half hour was gone.
“Don’t quit on me,” she begged. I think Frankie and Johnny’s story prompted this way ofasking me not to leave her. I guessed she had been done wrong by a few Johnnies over the years.
***
Thank you, Robin for inviting us into your music practitioner world and giving us a vivid glimpse of the transformative power of music through Helen. This is one of many patients you share in your memoir. Fascinating!
***
Author’s Bio:
Robin Russell Gaiser earned her B.A. in English at The College of William and Mary, where she also sang and played with a folk rock group, both on campus and in venues in Richmond, Virginia,and Washington, DC. After graduation she taught writing and literature in Fairfax County,VA; then, while raising her family, she gave private lessons in guitar and dulcimer and performed publicly under the auspices of the Fairfax County Council of the Arts. She also sang in classical choirs and joined The Mill Run Dulcimer Band, recording seven albums now included in the Smithsonian collection. With her children grown, she earned an M.A. in psychology from Marymount University and worked as a guidance counselor for eight years. After relocating to upstate New York and becoming caregiver—and bedside musician—for her dying father, Robin enrolled in a certification program for therapeutic musicians. As a Certified Music Practitioner(CMP), she is trained to provide live, bedside, one-on-one acoustic music to critically and chronically ill, elderly, and dying patients. She and her husband now live in the beautiful mountains of Asheville, North Carolina.
Author Contact Information:
Website: RobinRussell Gaiser with buy links.
Facebook: Robin Russell Gaiser
Twitter: @RobinGaiser
***
How about you? What role has music played in your life?
Robin has graciously offered to give away a copy of her memoir to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
Next Week:
Monday, 7/18/16:
“News From The International Women’s Writers Guild (IWWG) Summer Conference.”
July 4, 2016
Sentimental Journey Home: A Memoir Moment
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“For me it was a moment where coming back home held a very special meaning, a promise of a new beginning, a sense of security that where I came from would give me the strength to move forward.” ~excerpt from Ever Faithful to His Lead, 1988, Kathleen Pooler.
Photo Credit: owaynebradbery.com
Ready or not—we all go through changes and transitions in our lives. No one can stand still even though we may want our lives to stay the same. We all move through time, we get older, we encounter health challenges. Not one of us is exempt.
I’ve been wanting to write about the rumblings in my heart over this past year about how life is changing. After a seven-month hiatus from traveling due to dialysis, my husband Wayne and I recently embarked upon what I called my maiden voyage back home to see my family in Corning, New York. A four-hour trip west on Route 88 to Binghamton then along Route 17 to Corning. Our car was packed to the gills with dialysis supplies and my nighttime cycler. It was exhilarating to feel like there are still some things I can do in my “new normal” life. I don’t have to give up everything.
As I go through my own personal life transitions–turning 70 being one of them–Mom is going through her’s, only on a bigger scale. Yes, I am very blessed to still have my Mom.
As I have written about before, Mom moved into Assisted Living last August. She has adjusted well, despite a bout with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in October for which she is still receiving treatment. At 93, she continues to inspire all of us with her strength and resilience. But we do see subtle changes that signal a transition to the next phase of her life.
It’s not like I didn’t see it coming but the conversation we had led to the stark realization that Mom is torn between two worlds. She is trying to stay engaged in this world –and does a great job on most days—but she also seems to feel the pull toward the world beyond. She handed over her journal to me, the one I bought her for Mother’s Day, 2011, the year after Dad died. She wrote her way through her grief and told me frequently how much it helped her to “write to her prince”.
Mom’s journal
“I’m coming to terms with my life,” she said.
We were sitting on the swing in the courtyard as the birds chirped and the chipmunks scurried into the bushes. Her tear-filled eyes revealed the loss and grief she must have felt,
“There is so much I’m going to miss.”
I was struck by the deep sense of loneliness where the silence was deafening. It was the weekend and people were either away or sleeping in their rooms. We got up to walk the halls without another person in sight.
I wanted to take Mom out, but she was tired and ready for a nap. As I hugged her frail frame, I absorbed her sadness, hoping tomorrow would be better.
And it was.
Mom raised her glasses at my niece’s graduation brunch the next day.
Each day is a gift. My siblings, Tom, Gary and Paula and I know she is transitioning into the final stage of her life. Being aware that our final goodbye is nearing makes each moment with her even more precious.
Change challenges our sense of normalcy and there is an initial period of chaos and uncertainty. We all experience it to different degrees.
Our childhood home –I was 11 when we moved in—is going on the market. One of the tasks of the weekend was to go through and pick out items to take.
As soon as I stepped foot into the house, a flood of memories gushed forth. Mom and Dad greeting me at the door, the delicious aroma coming from one of Mom’s home-cooked meals, Dad at the kitchen table, ready to catch up on the details of my life. Oh, the family gatherings, the love and laughter around that kitchen table. I slowly wandered through each room cherishing the memories that each room evoked and collecting precious photos.
Saying goodbye to my childhood home was excruciating. Wayne hugged me as I sobbed. How fortunate I have been to grieve the loss of such a happy place. And to have the support of a strong, loving man and three wonderful siblings to get me through.
It is a bittersweet transition and a sentimental journey, indeed; a sacred time when gratitude for the blessings of one another will lead us forward.
Photo credit: JohnWiskind.com
Enjoy Ella Fitzgerald in this vocal and slide show on “Sentimental Journey”:
Wishing you all a happy and safe Fourth of July!
How about you? How do you get through your life transitions?
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
ANNOUNCEMENT: Congratulations to Martha Grahman-Waldon! Your name was selected from a random drawing of commenters to receive Dorit Sasson’s memoir, Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces.
Next Week:
Monday, 7/11/16:
“Robin Gaiser Shares an Excerpt From Her Memoir, Musical Morphine: Transforming Pain One Note at a Time.
Robin is a Certified Musical Practitioner (CMP) and has some fascinating stories to tell about the healing power of music. She will give away a copy of her memoir to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
June 27, 2016
Three Things I Did To Tell My Mother-Daughter Story in My Memoir by Dorit Sasson
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Dorit Sasson/@VoicetoStory
I am pleased to participate in Memoir Author Dorit Sasson’s Wow Women on Writing Blog Tour for her new memoir, Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces. Dorit and I met on line several years ago and have been following each other ever since. Her multilayered story weaves in her relationship with her mother. At age nineteen, Dorit Sasson, a dual American-Israeli citizen, was trying to make the status quo work as a college student―until she realized that if she didn’t distance herself from her neurotic, worrywart of a mother, she would become just like her.
I was honored to be a beta reader for her memoir.
My reviews can be found on Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThings and Riffle.
Welcome back, Dorit!
Dorit Sasson, Author, Blogger, Speaker and Radio Talk Host
How I Was Able To Tell My Mother-Daughter Story Through My Memoir
It was an accident I volunteered for the Israel Defense Forces. I had no idea what I was getting involved in. My mother, a Julliard graduate and child prodigy, who played piano with Leonard Bernstein,and a child of a Holocaust survivor, was terrified I would get blown up by terrorists and thought I was throwing my future away. But I wasn’t scared. I saw my service as a ticket to freedom.
But Accidental Soldier is not her story. I wanted to prove to my Israeli father I could be my own person, away from Mom’s fears of Israel.
I dropped out of college, and I soon found myself in a desert with a group of immigrants who bullied and ridiculed me as the “goofy American.” Aerogram after aerogram, my mother pleaded me to come home.
As a memoirist, I had to find a way to bring Mom’s character to life. Three things in particular helped me write my mother-daughter story to the finish line.
1. I gave myself permission to write about her
I’ll admit it – because she was no longer living at the time of writing the book, I wasn’t absorbed with thinking what she might think of the book when it was published.
But as a writer, I had to overcome some of my feelings of shame about her – like the spitting scene. Many people know her as a classical pianist of note, but nobody (not even family) knows she spat on me as her way to prevent me from leaving for Israel. I had to give myself permission to write these shenanigans if I was going to write an authentic mother – daughter story.
It was painful to go back to when she young, vibra2.nt and heyday of her time because I’d lost her to Alzheimer’s. Her concert tapes and letters she wrote me were of great comfort but now served a double purpose in writing about her and translating my feelings into what would shape the narrative arc.
2. I used show not tell techniques
My mom often lives in my head, but on the printed page, I had to show her emotional character and how she impacted me. I incorporated dialogue, physical descriptions to show her fears and need for control. I had to show what I was up against as a character.
On one of the bases alongside the Israel-Lebanese border, I try separating myself from the fears I’d inherited from her so I can finally become my own person. I show relay the tension by showing my inner thoughts.
3. I got editorial and writing help
Dr. Linda Joy Myers of the National Association for Memoir Writers and Brooke Warner were both instrumental in teaching how to write a memoir from the narrative arc to the elements of craft. I learned the building blocks of scenes and what it means to show transformation of character.
When it was time to write that first draft, I was able to translate the emotions and the experiences into the language of a narrative and write as Anne Lammot has so famously said, “a shitty draft.”
I revised and rewrote ruthlessly under the guidance of Brooke Warner with the intention of making the mother-story themes as evident and clear as possible. This meant cutting back, taking out, reshaping the story. Through a process of revision, I started paying mother attention to the mother-daughter themes in each chapter which helped with understanding the global themes of the book.
***
Thank you , Dorit, for taking us through your memoir writing process. Your three valuable tips on shaping your life story around a predominant theme serve as a template for all of us as we attempt to find the hearts of our stories. I wish you much success with your powerful memoir.
***
Paperback: 337 pages
Genre: Memoir
Publisher: She Writes Press (June 14, 2016)
ISBN-10: 1631520350
ISBN-13: 978-1631520358
Amazon Link: click here
Book Summary:
At age nineteen, Dorit Sasson, a dual American-Israeli citizen, was trying to make the status quo work as a college student―until she realized that if she didn’t distance herself from her neurotic, worrywart of a mother, she would become just like her.
Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces is Sasson’s story of how she dropped out of college and volunteered for the Israel Defense Forces in an effort to change her life―and how, in stepping out of her comfort zone and into a war zone, she discovered courage and faith she didn’t know she was capable of.
About the Author:
Dorit Sasson writes for a wide range of print and online publications, including The Huffington Post and The Writer, and speaks at conferences, libraries, and community centers. She is the author of the a featured chapter in Pebbles in the Pond: Transforming the World One Person at a Time, the latest installment of that best-selling series, and. She is the host of the global radio show “Giving Voice to Your Courageous Story.” She lives in Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and two children.
Find Dorit Sasson Online:
Website: www.DoritSasson.com, www.GivingaVoicetotheVoicelessbook.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoritSassonauthorAccidentalSoldier/
Twitter: @VoicetoStory
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/givingvoice/
Wow Blog Tour dates:
Monday, June 20th @ The Muffin
Stop by for an interview and book giveaway!
http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/
Tuesday, June 21 st @ Choices with Madeline Sharples
Dorit Sasson authors today’s guest post at Choices with Madeline Sharples. Don’t miss her post titled: “Working with the inner critics when writing a memoir” and learn more about Dorit’s memoir “Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces”.
Wednesday, June 22nd @ Linda Appleman Shapiro
Linda Appleman Shapiro reviews “Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces” and also interviews the author Dorit Sasson to learn more about this author and her unique and inspirational memoir.
Thursday, June 23rd @ Writers Pay It Forward
Find out what MC Simon has to say after reading Dorit Sasson’s memoir “Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces”. This is a review you won’t want to miss.
http://writerspayitforward.org/
Friday, June 24th @ Sherrey Meyer
Dorit Sasson is the author of today’s guest post “What Americans Can Learn from Israel and the IDF”. Thank you Sherrey Meyer for hosting this post and giveaway where one lucky reader will receive their own copy of Dorit’s memoir “Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces”
Monday, June 27th @ Memoir Writer’s Journey with Kathleen Pooler
Readers at Memoir Writer’s Journey with Kathleen Pooler are in for a special treat with the guest post by Dorit Sasson: “How I was able to tell my mother daughter story in Accidental Soldier” and one lucky reader will receive a giveaway copy of Dorit’s memoir “Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces”
Tuesday, June 28th @ All Things Audry
Dorit Sasson is the author of today’s guest post at All Things Audry. Don’t miss: “The process for Accidental Soldier”.
http://allthingsaudry.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, June 29th @ Jerry Waxler
Fellow author and memoir writer Jerry Waxler reviews “Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces” by Dorit Sasson and asks some great questions of Sasson. This is an interview and review you won’t want to miss!
Thursday, June 30th @ Writers Pay It Forward
Dorit Sasson pens today’s guest post at Writers Pay It Forward as she talks about “Promoting Accidental Soldier in the United States and in Israel” where readers can learn more about Dorit’s memoir “Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces”
http://writerspayitforward.org/
Friday, July 1 st @Coming Down the Mountain
Karen Jones Gowen reviews “Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces”
http://karenjonesgowen.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, July 6th @ Lisa Haselton
Lisa Haselton interviews Dorit Sasson about her memoir and offers one lucky reader their very own copy with a giveaway of “Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces”
http://lisahaseltonsreviewsandinterviews.blogspot.com/
Friday, July 7th @ Puddletown Reviews
Find out what Puddletown Reviews has to say about the touching memoir “Accidental Soldier” by Dorit Sasson.
***
How about you? How does your relationship with your mother show up in your writing? How do you find the themes in your stories?
Dorit has graciously offered to give away a copy of her memoir to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing.
We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
This Week:
Monday, 06/27/16:
June 2016 Newsletter: “Claiming Your Voice”
Sign-up via email on right sidebar if you are interested in receiving Updates, Memoir Musings and Max Moments in your inbox on the last Monday of each month.. I ‘d love have you along!
Next Week:
Monday, 7/4/16:
“Sentimental Journey: A Memoir Moment”
June 23, 2016
How Memoir Writing Can Heal Your Spirit
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Jennifer Scott/@jenspiritfinder
“Write what should not be forgotten.” ~ Isabel Allende
Image via Pixabay
Writing to heal is a common topic among memoir writers. Not only can writing help us find meaning in our lives, our words can also reach out to touch others in a healing way when we share our stories. I am thrilled to feature Jennifer Scott in this guest post about the healing power of memoir.
Jennifer Scott is a lifelong sufferer of anxiety and depression. She created her website, SpiritFinder.org , as a platform for advocacy on opening up about mental health. Through the site, she hopes to share the types of steps and success stories that can help others realize their own power. When she isn’t working on her website, she enjoys traveling, working with animals, and seeking out new friendships and adventures. Jennifer is working on a memoir.
Welcome, Jennifer!
Writer and Life Coach Jennifer Scott
How Memoir Writing Can Heal Your Spirit
I’m a big believer in the power of words. They can do just about anything — even heal you. If you’re struggling to overcome a challenge in your life or move forward after a tragedy, memoir writing might be the perfect way to set your spirit free.
When you stop to look back at a situation from the very beginning, it forces you to look closely at the details. Writing it down allows you to reflect at a more controlled pace. From your new perspective, you may be able to see things from a different point of view. Maybe it won’t exactly make you feel better right away, but it could help you gain important insight or understanding.
Some have found memoirs to be a way to come to terms with their feelings. All of them. Good, bad, angry, euphoric, spiteful, infatuated, or jealous. To tell a good story, you can’t just say what you felt, you have to explain why you felt it. In your endeavor to make your values and feelings clear to the audience, you may come to make some discoveries about yourself. Sometimes we feel so much in the moment it can be overwhelming to try to identify every feeling, but by looking back more objectively we realize how much more was going on. Then we can ask a really important question: why?
It can also be empowering to take control of the past by recounting it in your own words. Where you may once have felt powerless, you can now make sure the narrative is told the way it should be. You can also respond to the past in a very unique way — you can let out how you feel and put it all on paper. All the words you never said can finally find an outlet to be heard, even if it only ends up being for your eyes.
But memoirs can be a wonderful way to reach out to others. We all have our own struggles in life and often what we need more than anything is to know that we’re not alone. By sharing your journey with others, you can find compassion and support. Whether you choose to share it with only a few close loved ones, or let the world see it as a blog post or published on paper, you can help others find similar paths to self-discovery and inspire them to stay strong.
Finally, writing a memoir allows you to look at your life as a story with countless different little pieces. It can be hard to see a rough patch as only a chapter; sometimes the pain refuses to subside or we feel unable to ever fully recover. A memoir lets you look at everything — the comedy, the tragedy, and the surprises — so you can appreciate the story as a whole. Perhaps you had more rough times than others, but looking back at how far you’ve come and how much you have left to live can really put things into perspective.
If you find yourself stuck while writing, take a step back and take a break. Clear your head with some vigorous exercise; for example, going for a swim can improve your concentration. Remember that the writing should be for you before anyone else, so you can take your time getting back to it. When the time is right, you’ll be able to start the healing process again.
***
Thank you, Jennifer for sharing these valuable tips about the healing aspect of writing.
***
How about you? have you found writing to be healing?
We’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
Next Week:
Monday, 6/27/16:
I’m pleased to be hosting Dorit Sasson’s WOW Blog Tour with a guest post,
“Three Things I Did To Tell My Mother-Daughter Story”
Dorit will give away of her recently released memoir, Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israeli Defense Forces to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing of commenters.
My June 2016 Newsletter: “Claiming Your Voice”
June 20, 2016
Past or Present Tense in Memoir?
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“It ain’t whatcha write, it’s the way atcha write it.” ~ Jack Kerouac, WD
Whether you write fiction or nonfiction, you need to find an effective way to engage your readers. Tense is one method among many to develop your narrative.
Have you wondered what tense would work best with your story?
I did. In writing my memoir, I struggled with whether to use past or present tense. Past tense can seem more distant while present tense has a more immediate feel to it…but it’s tricky.
Most memoirs are in the past tense since memoir is about past life events. But memoir is more than a litany of life events. The element of reflection about those life events adds depth to their meaning.
There are two points-of view as described by memoirist Sue William Silverman in her writing resource book, Fearless Confessions. The “Voice of Innocence” relates the facts of the story and reveals “the raw emotions describing the person you were” and the “Voice of Experience ” which “explains and deepens the Voice of Innocence through reflection.”(p.52). The narrator serves two roles, a now and a then in a first-person point-of-view.
In order to bring your reader deep into your experience in as authentic a way as possible the memoirist needs to place herself back in time and recapture the sights, sounds, smells and feelings of a past scene. This requires more than a flight back into memory which, at best, is flawed and diminished over time. Research, therefore, becomes an essential part of the process of memory recall.
But, in order to find depth and meaning in these life events, the narrator needs to explore insights about them. In doing so, the writer makes sense of the event and helps the reader connect to their own life story.
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons
But why is it so hard to figure out what tense to use?
Reflection and introspection are what make memoir unique. Not only do we recall the memory, we find meaning in it. A good memoir offers a universal truth through a personal story; a takeaway for the reader.
My takeaway was: You need to claim your strength in order to have a life you want and deserve. I had to show through scenes how I didn’t claim my inner strength (the then narrator or Voice of Innocence). Then I had to show how I learned to claim my inner strength (the now narrator). The now narrator or Voice of Experience reflected on the past event. Sometimes, a combination of present and past tenses were used.
Excerpts from my memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, Chapter 25: New Year’s Resolution, 1976:
Voice of Innocence: (past tense):
Other than the fact that I was six inches taller it was fun to get dressed up and act like an adult. I pulled up the stockings and attached them to the metal clasps from the garter belt, pulled my lime-green, knee-length dress with a rhinestone design on the bodice over my gentle curves, and slipped on my black patent-leather flats, then brushed my hair back into a pony tail. It was my first real formal preparation in social etiquette; a practice run for how to act in formal social situations.
When Michael’s turn came, I knew he was going to ask me to the cotillion and I knew I was going to feel disappointed when I had to turn him down. And I was. But I couldn’t hurt Ron’s feelings.
Voice of Experience: (past and present tense):
I realized years later that this pattern of failing to put my needs first was my undoing. Until a woman learns to love herself above all others, she ends up serving those she loves poorly because her happiness is compromised.
I had to experiment:
At one point, I changed the entire manuscript to present tense. But it didn’t feel right so I compromised:
I changed back to past tense.
I wrote a scene and what I was thinking at the time (reflection) in the past tense as the experience was in the past. However, I changed to present tense for introspection, i.e “ Sometimes, I wonder if..” (now narrator).
There’s no one right way to decide. Either tense can be used. Many memoirists have written their memoirs in present tense and been successful.
Here are a few of many examples of successful memoirs written in the present tense or a combination of present and past tenses:
Jesusland by Julia Scheeres. Julia wrote her story in the present tense but added her Voice of Experience reflections in italics at the end of each chapter.
Runway: Confessions of a Not-So-Super-Model by Meghan Ward. Meghan chose to write her story from the 18-year old-narrator in the present tense and not add a reflection from the Voice of Experience. She felt that she showed the events and let the reader form their own opinions.
This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff. Wolff combines tenses by presenting the story in the past tense then adding present tense reflections and dialogue to the passage.
Swimming with Maya: A Mother’s Story by Eleanor Vincent. Vincent writes the majority of her story in the present tense, but changes to the past tense for flashback scenes.
Some closing thoughts:
Whatever tense you choose, be consistent so as not to confuse the reader and to keep them in the story with you.
While past tense is the most common tense used in memoir, you can experiment with using the present tense and see if it resonates with your story.
Switching tenses can be tricky and while it can be done, it is probably better reserved for the more experienced writer. Beginning writers would best advised to avoid until they are clear on what they are doing.
I say write in the tense that feels right to you and resonates with your story. If it resonates with you , it likely will resonate with your reader.
Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons
***
Here are some links to excellent resources if you need more help trying to decide what tense to use when you write:
“A Few Memoir Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them” by Debra G. Wartney
“Memoir Lessons: Writing Memoir in the Present Tense” by Marion Roach
“What Tense and Point of View Should I Use in My Memoir? by Alison Taylor
“Top 10 Things All Memoir Writers Need to Pay Attention To” by Linda Joy Myers
“Memoir Monday- Talking About Tense” by Meghan Ward
***
How about you? When you read, do you prefer past or present tense? When you write, which tense do you tend to use? Do you feel it makes a big difference in the reading/writing experience? Do you have any tips to add about tense?
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~
***
ANNOUNCEMENT:
Congratulations, Marjorie Witt! Your name was selected in a random drawing of commenters to receive Dorothy Sander’s book, Caring For Mom: Midlife Reflections.
This Week:
Thursday, 6/23/16:
“How Memoir Writing Can Heal Your Spirit” by Writer and Blogger Jennifer Scott
Next Week:
Monday, 6/27/16:
“Three Things I Did To Tell My Mother-Daughter Story” by Dorit Sasson, A WOW Blog Tour
Dorit is the author of Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israeli Defense Forces. She will give away a copy of her memoir to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing of commenters
June 2016 Newsletter: “Claiming Your Voice”
June 13, 2016
The Secret Entrance into the Lair of Memoir: Finding Your Authentic Voice by Dorothy Sander
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler with Dorothy Sander/@AgingAbundantly
Memoir writing requires that we dig deeply into our memory. Writing from our heart and soul requires that we are willing to be vulnerable. In order to connect with our readers, we need to find and speak from our authentic voice. I am thrilled to feature author and blogger Dorothy Sander in this guest post about finding your voice as a creative writer.
Welcome, Dorothy!
The Secret Entrance into the Lair of Memoir: Finding Your Authentic Voice
Finding one’s voice as a creative writer, requires finding a meaningful point of entry into the very center of ourselves. Many writers write from their heads using a dash of personality, but in order to write an effective memoir it is necessary to go into our heart and soul and discover, at the very least, the edges of our authentic self.
This is not an easy task. It requires jumping into dangerous territory, into the place where our deepest hurts, sorrows, confusion, loss, trauma, and even joy, once lived and continue to live in some fashion. We know it will hurt to go there and our instinct for self-preservation stirs the fight or flight response and we find ourselves resisting or running away.
There is, however, a way to sneak in the back door that will help a writer get their feet wet and begin to trust the process. Once we meet ourselves in this place, the heart place of our writing, the sweetness of the process begins to give us courage. It is a place of transformation and change. We discover that there is not just hurt there, but that it is also a place of unburdening and release. It is a place of becoming and expansion.
To write in our own voice, we must enter the place where our experiences, past and present, live in full color. It is a place that is far different from orderly thought forms, mental images or reflections on the past. It is, by contrast, the messy unfinished business voiced by our feelings, emotions and the unanswered questions that are still very much alive. To enter this place requires experience, courage, strength, commitment and resilience and is perhaps precisely why the best memoirs are written by people in their senior years.
How I found my authentic voice…
Turning fifty was a profound signal to me, albeit to a degree unconscious at the time, to move in the direction of living a congruent life, that is where my insides match my outsides. I knew I needed to change my life and the direction it was headed. I took a bold step and signed up for a writing class. Until then I had not had the courage or good sense to follow my heart. I believed I did not have the “talent” to write and let my dream go, again and again. I lived on the edges of my true passion. I wrote poetry for myself; I journaled through difficult times; I worked in Marketing for a Publishing company, all the while longing in the silent place within me to be one of the writers I promoted. I worked for ten years marketing my husband’s business. Midlife came knocking and I knew it was now or never.
I signed up for a Magazine Article Writing class online, once again side stepping my truest self. Writing from my head for money, was a socially acceptable and practical avenue to take and the only one I could justify spending money on.
At the time, my mother was ninety-five and living alone three hours away. I made frequent trips to visit her, adding to my already overflowing life. After one such visit, while driving home on a Sunday night exhausted and riddled with anxiety, I remembered that I had my first writing assignment due that night. I was to submit a first draft of an article written for publication and several magazine editors and addresses where I might send it. Overwhelmed by the assignment, I pushed it to the back of my mind throughout the previous week. I didn’t have a clue what to write about. I didn’t think I knew enough about any one thing to write a decent and knowledgeable article.
When I got home I shared my concerns with my husband. He suggested I go to our bedroom with my laptop and just write. “Something will come”, he assured me. Yeah, right, I thought. I did as he suggested, as much to have some peace and quiet after a stressful weekend, as anything else. I really did want to write something for the class, but I didn’t think I could. I made myself a cup of tea, grabbed my laptop and headed to our bedroom. The minute I closed the door I could feel my body begin to relax. Instinctively I drew in a deep breath and leaned into the silence.
Alone and without any demands, I sipped my tea and opened up a word document. I began to write. I wrote the words that came to mind. I wrote from the place where my journaling took place. I wrote about what was going on inside of me, beneath the surface and as I did it was as if the space inside of me opened up and a direct line was created from my heart to my fingers. I wasn’t thinking about the class or the assignment. I wasn’t thinking about anything but what was flowing through me. I was simply expressing all the unexpressed.
What I wrote that night was apparently not just for me, because it became my first assignment and my first published piece. It was not an article at all like I had envisioned articles to be. I did not do any research. I did not put any great “thought” into it.
The piece I later named “Caring for Mom”, was a reflection on my experience in dealing with my family’s dynamics as we struggled to care for my mother in the last years of her life. It did not come from my head, although I drew on what I learned in college and graduate school about psychology and family dynamics, it came from somewhere larger, my heart. I had found my entry point. I realized later I had found my voice.
I did not think the piece qualified for the assignment, but by the time I had finished I had run out of time so I submitted it just to have something to submit. I received a note back from my teacher a couple of days later that said, “This is excellent! You must submit it for publication”. I fell on the floor in a heap and the tears flowed.
All authentic expression, whether it be in the words we write or the life we live, comes from deep inside of us. It does not come from our head, our reason, or our education, although all these things add to breadth of our craft. Each time we sit down to write, especially our memoir, we must look for a thread that comes from this place and pick it up. A memoir written using threads spun from our heart become a reflection of the tapestry of the lives we’ve lived.
As we spin and weave we not only create something of beauty for others, we are changed in the process.
“Writing, real writing, should leave a small sweet bruise somewhere on the writer . . . and on the reader.” Clarissa Pinkola Estés
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Thank you, Dorothy for your beautiful reflection and for sharing how you found your authentic voice. You remind us that we already have all we need to write from our heart. We only need to believe in our own gifts and then commit to writing.
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Author Bio:
Dorothy Sander is the voice of AgingAbundantly.com, a website and social media presence that focuses on aging as a transformational process. She writes extensively about the problems and possibilities inherent in this process and offers readers an opportunity to look beneath the surface of their lives and grow with each new challenge and change. She draws on her background and continued studies in psychology and spirituality. Her books, Caring for Mom – Midlife Reflections and Finding Hope – Inspiration for the Midlife Journey are available on Amazon and via her website. Her articles have been published on iSeniorSolutions, Huffington Post, and numerous local Senior Publications. Dorothy is also the founder of InspiringQuotesbyWomen.com.
Book Synopsis:
Caring for Mom is a touching collection of reflections that speak to all who have, are or will care for an aging parent and facing all the challenges of being a member of the sandwich generation. While describing the process of care giving and all that implies, Dorothy Sander has left her heart on every page of this important book. This is not a standard or sugar coated instruction manual. Dorothy tackles issues concerning every aspect of aging-our own and those for whom we care. Dealing with stress, money, family, how to say goodbye, exhaustion, and coping with grief all find pages in Caring For Mom. Dorothy’s experience is invaluable. Her style resembles a chat with a good friend. Those who read her account will find wisdom, comfort, and support. She writes with compassion, honesty and a deep commitment to all that is good in life. Caring for Mom is a book you can read again and again.
Amazon Author’s Page: http://www.amazon.com/Dorothy-Sander/e/B004W4KOAQ/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1465156103&sr=1-1
LuLu Author’s Page: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/sanderdoe
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How about you? Do you feel you have found your authentic voice? Do have any tips to share or questions for Dorothy?
Dorothy has graciously offered to give away a copy of her book, Caring for Mom Midlife Reflections, to a commenter whose name will be selected in a random drawing of commenters.
We’d love to hear form you. Please leave your comments below~
ANNOUNCMENT:
Congratulations, Marilea Rabasa! Your name was selected to receive Denis Ledoux’s memoir, A Sugary Frosting: A Memoir of a Girlhood Spent in a Parsonage.
Next Week:
Monday, 6/20/16:
“Past or Present Tense in Memoir?”
