Stephen Kuhn's Blog, page 58

Free Music Downloads: Esterlyn

About once-a-month, on a Wednesday (hence the name: Worship Wednesdays), I will share one of my favorite albums I’ve been listening to. Most of these will be from NoiseTrade, the internet’s best source for free music and eBook downloads.

Esterlyn: Woven

Confession: I love Coldplay. There’s just something about music with orchestral backing, pop riffs, and melodic vocals that I can’t get enough of.

There, I said it.

Given that embarrassing fact about my taste in music, it’s no surprise that I absolutely love this new album from Esterlyn.

Unlike Coldplay, though, Esterlyn requires no explanation to justify enjoyment. Their talented combination of passionate worship lyrics and catchy pop melodies blends perfectly into what I would consider one of the best worship albums I’ve heard in a while.

Just try to listen to “Holy” without tapping your foot.

I dare you.

From NoiseTrade: We are a tapestry. God is the artist. We all have one short life to live. It can be easy to get discouraged with the pain, misfortune, and hurt that we all experience. We pray this album will remind us that we are all on a journey- one that the Lord has predestined before the foundations of the world. There will be heartache in life that we don’t understand but we must remember that God makes beauty from the ashes. May each of our lives be a small piece of God’s great masterpiece to reveal His great love to this world. May this album remind us to reflect on God’s character and nature and His great love for you and I! May we find peace in the fact that our Lord never changes. May we give our hearts, our resources, and our time to the one who is mending the meaning.

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Smart Quote of the Week: Brother Lawrence

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

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Reader Q/A: How do you Cope with a Highly Active Sex Drive?

Question: How do I cope with my highly active sex drive?

First things first, I am not a doctor or a scientist. That being said, I can tell you from my own personal experience of being celibate for multiple years now that one’s libido is somewhat adjustable.

When I was at the peak of my addiction, it was not uncommon for me to have 5+ orgasms a day. I couldn’t even make it through an 8-hour shift of delivering pizzas without stopping once or twice at the adult bookstore preview booth.

At the time, I attributed this to an overactive sex drive.

In the past years though, my sex drive hasn’t completely shut off, but it doesn’t control me like it did before. Your body has a remarkable ability to self-regulate in this area. Yes, there will be a transition period as you down-regulate semen production and other related processes, but they will adjust with time.

I have wondered if my reduced libido these days is simply a result of my aging, but I do not believe that to be the case. I have become much healthier, lost a bunch of weight, and cleaned up my eating and sleep habits since those days—which means I actually have higher testosterone and increased fertility today. Yes, that is merely an N=1 observational study, but I believe its proof that sex drive goes much deeper than hormones.

As you transition down though, learn to love cold showers. I’m serious. It has been a life saver for me. I’ve found that if you alternate between 10-seconds hot and 20-seconds cold, it’s actually enjoyable (unlike the torture of a purely cold shower). It sounds crazy, but it works.

The Real Question You Need to Ask

All that being said, what if your sex drive isn’t actually producing the desire for acting out, but it’s actually the result of attempting to satisfy a deeper issue in your heart through ways that can bring true satisfaction?

Perhaps you’ve been “going to the well” to satisfy a thirst that can only be satisfied by Living Water.

After all, if you find a way to satisfy that need to where you “thirst” again, well, to me that sounds like freedom.

Thank you again for your question. I hope this answer helped bring you more clarity.

Grace and peace to you in Christ,

Stephen

This question was taken from the recent Reddit AMA I did for NoFapChristians.

If you have a question about pornography addiction, my personal story, or anything else for that matter, you can send it to me by filling out the form on the Contact page (or just click my picture in the sidebar on the right). I will do my best to answer every question personally and will never post your question without your permission.

The post Reader Q/A: How do you Cope with a Highly Active Sex Drive? appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, we roundup the best links, articles, and videos we find that are relevant to finding freedom from pornography addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything in the linked article. It just means we found it interesting enough to share.

Miami Herald: Porn Creates Demand for Sex Trafficking 

“Scholar Dr. Catherine Mackinon says that consuming pornography is an ‘experience of bought sex and thus it creates a hunger to continue to purchase and objectify, and act out what is seen.’”

Gospel Coalition: Grace is Not a Thing

“Yes, God’s love meets us where we are, but it refuses to let us stay there. This is because when the grace of God takes root in your heart then it produces fruit in your life. God’s grace is not a matter of lowering his standards, it’s a matter of transforming his people.”

Dave Willis: 7 Common Marriage Wrecking Habits

“I have found, however, that there are some consistent habits that can undermine the bond between husband and wife and ultimately lead to divorce. This is not a comprehensive list, but below are some of the most common and most destructive bad habits in modern marriages.”

The Porn Pandemic: The Devastating Effects on Children, Family and Society

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In Christ, You Were Once Far Away and Now Have Been Brought Near

But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ. (Ephesians 2:13)

Every one of us was born separated from God because of our sin. This disease is in our hearts from birth, and sadly, there is nothing we can do about it. It has robbed our souls of life and keeps us far away from God.

Oh, we can try to control it or fix it, but nothing we do will ever be able to provide a solution for our sin. In fact, trying to get near to God through your own power will only exhaust you (as is so wonderfully illustrated by the great theologian of Sesame Street, Grover Monster).

But don’t lose hope my friend! We may come into this world far from God, but He desires nothing more than to reach out to us and pull us near to Him again. Which is why He sent His son Jesus to pay the penalty for your sin with His blood—providing the only antidote that would allow your soul to come alive and enter into God’s presence.

Because of what Jesus did for you on the Cross, you are no longer far away from God—you have been brought near!

The post In Christ, You Were Once Far Away and Now Have Been Brought Near appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Smart Quote of the Week: Bob Goff

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

The post Smart Quote of the Week: Bob Goff appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, we roundup the best links, articles, and videos we find that are relevant to finding freedom from pornography addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything in the linked article. It just means we found it interesting enough to share.

XXXChurch: 3 Lies Porn Taught Me About Sex

“Pornography has lied to us about sex. It elicits and perpetuates ideas about intimacy that are actually more about fantasy than they are about real sex. It has taken a gift given to us to cultivate a lasting relationship and turned it into an act of self-fulfillment. It has—both subtly and significantly—stolen from the meaning, beauty, and long-term benefits of sex for most men today.”

Relevant Magazine: Have We Made an Idol Out of Sexual Purity?

“We spend so much time discussing physical purity, without challenging this generation to live a life that is so Spirit-filled, Christ-centered and God-breathed that purity is just the natural overflow.”

CBN News: Divorce Shocker—Most Marriages Do Make It

“Most people believe only half of U.S. marriages make it. But a leading researcher is announcing the true divorce rate is much lower and always has been.”

Bibliotheca: The Bible Designed & Crafted for Reading

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In Christ, You Have Been Set Free

So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law (Galatians 5:1).

For years, I had accepted the fact that Jesus paid for my sin on the cross, but every time I messed up I felt the need to earn God’s favor back and ask forgiveness for what I had just done.

I believed that my initial salvation came from the work of Jesus alone (saved by grace), but I also believed my continued salvation—and my acceptance by God—was a reward I maintained only if I was good enough (saved by keeping the law).

I was going back to the slavery of the law even though Christ had set me free from it.

But think about this: When did Jesus pay for your sins? It was on the Cross.

And how many of your sins were done after the Cross? All of them.

Every one of your sins—past, present, and even future sins—were paid for 2000 years ago when Jesus said, “It is finished.”

When you accepted Christ’s payment for your sins, it was for all of them. Not just the ones you had committed up to the point of your initial salvation.

This idea that we need to keep coming back for forgiveness and make things right every time we sin is the same as telling Jesus we need Him to go back to the Cross and do it again.

It’s telling Jesus that what He did wasn’t enough.

This is why it is so important to understand how your behavior—no matter how sinful it may be—can never separate you from God’s love or acceptance once you have put your hope in the work of Christ.

Remember, Jesus is your only hope of freedom.

The minute you put your faith in Him, your balance is paid in full.

Trust this truth, and you will remain free.

The post In Christ, You Have Been Set Free appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Smart Quote of the Week: Timothy Keller

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

The post Smart Quote of the Week: Timothy Keller appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Reader Q/A: How Can Churches and Communities Help Men who Struggle with Porn?

Question: One of the biggest things on my mind recently is how to bring support and recovery groups to churches and communities to impact young men and women. How do you set up support groups? And what kind of resources do you use? Have you found one particular method to be more effective than another?

I agree that equipping churches to deal with this issue has been a hurdle in the past. Most churches understand porn is a huge issue but feel like they don’t have the knowledge to properly help men (and women) find freedom from it.

In reality, the best thing a church can do isn’t to try to “deal with it” per se, but to simply offer a safe environment for men to be honest about their struggle without condemnation. That’s why in the groups I lead we constantly repeat the idea that we aren’t here to fix each other, we’re here to bring our junk into the light so it loses its power over us. Once the addiction is no longer hidden, God can finally begin His work of healing in you.

I had looked everywhere for a good resource to use in my own groups and couldn’t find anything I was happy with. There are a ton of great books out there that deal with the symptom (IE: the behavioral response of looking at porn), but nothing that directly addressed the underlying cause (IE: what is causing you to desire porn in the first place).

At the risk of sounding like an infomercial, this is exactly why I wrote my book.

In order to take away all the hurdles and make it as easy as possible for churches to get groups going, I wrote a 12-week study guide and have provided all of the marketing materials (posters, bulletin inserts, announcement slides, promo video, etc.) as free downloads.

Furthermore, churches (or anyone who wants to start a group) can purchase a group kit (5 books, 5 study guides) from me at cost.

This means the only thing a church needs to do is provide a private room and let guys know about it. The guy leading the group could even be going through the material for the first time himself.

In the end, the best thing anyone can do to help an addict is to love them wherever they’re at and help them follow Jesus. Don’t try to fix them. Don’t point out their flaws (trust me, they already know them). Simply love them. Once they trust your love, perhaps then they will trust God’s love. And that is ultimately what will change them.

Thank you again for your question. I hope this answer helped bring you more clarity.

Grace and peace to you in Christ,

Stephen

This question was taken from the recent Reddit AMA I did for NoFapChristians.

If you have a question about pornography addiction, my personal story, or anything else for that matter, you can send it to me by filling out the form on the Contact page (or just click my picture in the sidebar on the right). I will do my best to answer every question personally and will never post your question without your permission.

The post Reader Q/A: How Can Churches and Communities Help Men who Struggle with Porn? appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.