Stephen Kuhn's Blog, page 51

Will You be the Winner of our Ultimate Biblical Masculinity Resource Kit?

One of the coolest things about running an online ministry is the access I’ve been given to so many wonderful and influential people working towards the same goal: helping others meet Jesus.

Recently, I contacted a few of these folks to see if they would be interested in sharing their resources with you guys.

Their generosity blew my mind.

Not only did these ministries offer enough stuff for me to put together an amazing holiday giveaway contest, they donated enough for me to offer it to five lucky winners!

That’s right, five people are going to win an epic prize package worth over $145 in our first annual Biblical Masculinity Resource Kit Giveaway Contest.

Each kit contains the following:

Wild at Heart , by John Eldredge (Book)

God has put core desires into the heart of every man and Wild at Heart will help you discover and understand them. If you want to know what true biblical masculinity looks like, this is the book for you.

Men Talking about Women , from Ransomed Heart (4 CDs)

John shares on sexual healing and wholeness, including a guided time of healing prayer. Never before has this been made available outside our men’s retreats. Topping off the series, the guys head back to the studio to offer some very honest and hopeful stories from their journeys.

The Cure , by John Lynch (Book)

This book has changed my life more than any other. It’s as if the authors took everything God had taught me over my journey to freedom and put into one book in an easy-to-follow and understand format.

Surfing for God , by Michael John Cusick (Book)

Michael John Cusick’s insights help readers understand how porn struggles begin, what to do to prevent them, and most importantly, how to overcome the compulsion once it begins. In the end, this powerful book shows us all how the barrier built by porn addiction can become a bridge to abundant life.

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn , by Stephen Kuhn (Book)

Yes, this is my book. But I added it to the giveaway because I strongly believe the message I share throughout it. If you are looking for one single book to help you understand and experience God’s path to freedom from pornography, this is it.

1-year license to X3watch premium (Filter/Accountability software)

Every day you make choices to develop your physical, social, and professional health. Why leave your online health to chance? X3watch makes it easier to enjoy the good stuff without worrying about the rest.

All you need to do is enter here before December 14th. But don’t wait too long, because once you sign up you will get a custom link to share with your friends. And for every sign-up that comes through your link, you’ll get five additional entries.

Good luck!

Sign me up!

 

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Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Desiring God: Self-Control and the Power of Christ

“Self-control is simply that important, impressive, and nearly impossible practice of learning to maintain control of the beast of one’s own sinful passions. It means remaining master of your own domain not only in the hunky-dory, but also when faced with trial or temptation. Self-control may be the epitome of ‘easier said than done.’”

First Things: The Pornographic Double-Bind

“Male sexual behavior, always a bit difficult to pin down in one place, is moving steadily now in a direction either free of partners or else devoid of long-term commitment to just one woman, aided at every turn by technology. Outside the Church, the revolution runs uncontested, as account after account continues to reveal. Inside the Church, we still seem to have trouble admitting that men are attracted to naked women.”

Reformation 21: The Seven Deadly Sins in a Digital Age—Lust

“When the subject of ‘Lust in a digital age’ comes up, our minds are likely to jump immediately to the suffocating epidemic of internet pornography that is sweeping our country–indeed, the world. Although it is still rarely openly discussed, most of us are probably dimly aware of the statistics, which are terrifying, and the anecdotes, which are more terrifying still.”

Ragamuffin Soul: Why the Biggest Issue Facing the Church is Not Addressing Homosexuality, and it Never Will Be…

“I hear it all the time… ‘The biggest issue the church is facing is addressing the issue of homosexuality.’ Excuse me if I rant for a moment… How is this the biggest issue the church is facing?”

Matt Chandler: That is the Grace

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Get 10 Lies Men Believe about Porn for 99 Cents!

If you haven’t picked up your copy of 10 Lies Men Believe about Porn yet, now’s the time to do so.

For one week only, all electronic versions are priced at just 99 cents!

That’s less than 10 cents per lie!

Have a Kindle? Get it on Amazon.

Have an iPad? Get it on the iBookstore.

Have a Commodore 64? Sorry, I can’t help you there but I am mildly jealous of your awesome bit of nostalgia.

All silliness aside, this is a great deal and it’s only good through December 5th, so don’t delay.

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In Christ, You Have Been Made Dead to Sin

[Jesus] personally carried our sins in his body on the cross, so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed (1 Peter 2:24).

In order to comprehend the full depth of what this verse means for us we first need to understand what is true about those who have yet to put their trust in Christ:

When Adam chose to live his life apart from God, sin entered into mankind and brought with it death. This sin is in the hearts of all mankind from birth. (see  Romans 5:12 )
The only way to be set free from the penalty of your sin is for it to be included in the death of Jesus. (see Romans 6:7 )
If you die physically without trusting Jesus to pay the penalty of your sin, the sin in your heart will keep you separated from God for all eternity.

So, instead of being dead to sin, those who are still living independently from Christ are dead in their sin. The sin within them defines who they are, dictates how they are able to live, and destines where they will spend eternity.

No matter how you spin it, that is not good news.

But let’s look at what today’s verse says about those of us who have trusted in Christ:

When Jesus was on the cross, all of your sins (past, present, and future) were placed on His body.
When He died, His death fulfilled the penalty of your sin. And now that your sin debt has been satisfied, it will never need to be paid again.
When Christ came back to life, you were also included in His everlasting life. This life of Christ within you is what gives you the power to live righteously today.

Therefor, because of Christ’s work on the cross, you have been made dead to sin and alive in Him. Your old identity of sinner was crucified with Jesus and you have been given a new identity of holy, righteous saint.

But if I’m truly dead to sin, why do I still struggle with it?

Perhaps the better question is: “How does God view those who are in Christ when they fall back into sin?”

Scripture answers that question clearly:

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

Because of what Christ did for you on the cross, you have been made dead to the penalty of your sins. Your sin will never again define how God sees you.

In fact, when God looks at you, He sees you as holy and blameless (even when you are sitting in front of a computer with your pants around your ankles).

Yes, all of us will struggle with sin from time to time…even after we trust Christ. But those struggles no longer define us in the eyes of God.

Furthermore, the life of Christ within you gives you the power you need to walk away from sin. You may not always choose to, but for the first time in your life you actually have the ability to do so.

And that, my friend, is good news.

This has been a repost from the archives.

The post In Christ, You Have Been Made Dead to Sin appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Interview on Insight with Paul Arthur

My video interview on INSIGHT with Paul Arthur went live this morning.

We talked about a lot of topics:

How internet pornography is even more destructive than images in magazines.
The importance of knowing you aren’t alone in this battle.
Over half-an-hour of live questions from viewers.

Go ahead and give it a watch. There’s no direct link, so you will need to find my name (Stephen Kuhn) in the sidebar to the right of the video player.

If you have questions or comments related to the show, just hit me up in the comments below.

Thanks!

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Smart Quote: Nate Larkin

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

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If Following Jesus is about Relationship, Why does He Seem so Distant?

This post has been adapted from the chapter, “Lie #7: God Can Set Others Free from Pornography Addiction, but Not Me,” in my new book, 10 Lies Men Believe about Porn. This post is part 7 in an 8-week series on life-changing faith. If you would like to begin at part 1, you can do that here.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the saying “It’s not about religion, it’s about relationship.” I’ve even used it myself at times. In a lot of ways, it’s the foundational truth that this entire book is based on. But have you actually stopped to consider what that saying is trying to communicate? It’s the idea that following Jesus is not about living up to some moral standard or performing certain rituals—it’s about actually getting to know Him and about spending time with Him. It’s about having a relationship with Him.

But what does a personal relationship with Jesus actually look like? For that matter, what does a relationship with anyone look like?

In order for any relationship to develop, you must spend time with each other. You must seek to know each other on a personal level. Most importantly, you must trust one another. If you remove any one of these elements from the relationship, it will never grow into a meaningful friendship.

It’s the same with a relationship with Jesus. You can spend time with Him in prayer. You can seek to know all about Him by reading the Bible. But if you don’t trust Him, you will never experience a true relationship with Him.

The moment I came clean about the full depth of my sin was the moment Jesus became real to me. Before that moment, if I was being honest, I called myself a follower of Jesus. But I didn’t know Him personally. I didn’t have a relationship with Him.

Sure, I knew all about Jesus. I had grown up in church and had even gone to seminary, so I knew all the answers to the Bible trivia questions. I even spent time with Him—sort of. I prayed to Him on a regular basis, but it was only when I needed something, never because I just wanted to hang out with Him. As soon as He asked me to do anything that pushed me or required me to trust Him, I would find an excuse to ignore Him. I was fine trusting Him with most things, but I didn’t want to trust Him with everything. I still wouldn’t trust Him when He asked me to bring my sin into the light. I was only holding back a small percentage, but it made all the difference.

 

I was fine trusting Him with most things,

but I didn’t want to trust Him with everything.

 

Unless you trust Jesus with everything—100 percent—it shows that you don’t really trust Him at all. I may have been calling Him the Lord of my life, but by picking and choosing in what areas I wanted to trust Him based on my own feelings, I was still controlling the relationship. I was functioning as my own lord.

The more I look at the Scriptures, the more I wonder if I was even saved before that moment when I put my full trust in Jesus. I acknowledge that this is an extreme view, but look at it this way: if we are saved by grace through faith, and I wasn’t trusting Jesus (my faith wasn’t in Him), how could I have been saved?

I recognize now that my faith was still in my own ability to make the best decisions for my life. By choosing not to trust every word Jesus said, I was trying to pick my own path to salvation and refusing to trust Him about the path He had clearly lined out for me. I was more interested in maintaining my temporary happiness in this world than trusting what Jesus promised would lead to eternal happiness and life. I wanted to receive all the blessings of faith without changing my life or acting in a way that would cause others to label me as odd or extreme. I wanted a relationship with Jesus, but only if I didn’t have to risk anything to receive it.

But that’s not the life of faith Jesus calls us to. He makes it clear that true faith will change your life in a way that no one can deny. For example, look at a few of the verses that tell us what the everyday life of a Jesus follower will look like:

Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples (John 13:35).

The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22–23).

If my faith had been in Christ, then love, kindness, and all the other fruits of the Spirit would have been flowing out of me. Instead, my life was marked by selfishness, apathy, and manipulation. These were not fruits of a Spirit-filled life; they were fruits of a Steve-focused life.

The verse I think concerns me most—because of the possible implications for so many others who are claiming to be followers of Christ but are still functioning as their own lord—is Matthew 7:22–23:

Many will say to me on that day, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?” Then I will tell them plainly, “I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!” (Matthew 7:22–23).

Eternal life in heaven is about Who you know, not what you do. I’m sure I would have been one of the guys standing at the gates of heaven with my résumé of all the great things I had done for Jesus. In reality, because I had never trusted Him, I didn’t even know Him. I was in church, but I wasn’t in Christ. Because I still believed it was my résumé that saved me—all the stuff I supposedly did for Jesus—and I never put my faith in Him, it makes me wonder if I would have been turned away.

 

I was in church, but I wasn’t in Christ.

 

Compare all of that to what happened immediately after I chose to trust Jesus fully. Instead of being worried that others would find out about the depth of my addiction, I found myself looking for opportunities to share the story of how Jesus had changed my life. I felt like Peter when the Holy Spirit came upon him and he instantly went from denying his faith to a servant girl to boldly proclaiming Jesus to anyone who would listen.

I felt as if I had a direct line of communication with Jesus and couldn’t stop talking to Him. For the first time ever I felt like I had an actual relationship with Him. He wasn’t just some imaginary being in my mind; He was the most real and intimate friend I’ve ever had.

Honestly, I became the crazy Jesus guy, and I wasn’t ashamed about it. The change in my life was undeniable and shocking.

And best of all, because of the relationship I’ve experienced with Christ, I’ve had no doubt whatsoever since that moment that I’m saved.

Continue to Part 8: How Does Trusting Jesus Help Me with Porn?

The post If Following Jesus is about Relationship, Why does He Seem so Distant? appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Relevant Magazine: How the Church Should Talk About Sex

“There are no lack of posts these days about how the Church has misled entire generations when it comes to sex. It is a stark example of the best of intentions gone wrong. What began as a reaction to an increasingly sex-obsessed culture has unraveled into an avoidance of the obvious (at best) or a guilt-laden, shame filled diatribe (at worst).”

ERLC.com: Satan’s Strategy to Destroy Your Marriage Before it Begins

“What had gone wrong? How had Satan slipped into this young couple’s marriage? As we unpacked some of their history, I discovered that he hadn’t sabotaged them on their honeymoon or in the early months of figuring out married life. Instead, he’d begun his work before they even made it to the altar.”

The Gospel Coalition: Help, I Married the Wrong Person

“When marriage gets difficult, or our kids are ungrateful, it’s easy to look at the past and think, I made the wrong decision. I married the wrong person. Let me assure you: you didn’t.”

XXXChurch: Is There Really a Difference Between Slip-Ups and Relapses?

“A man who joined our X3LA group about two years ago decided on his own to have a new approach to his sobriety dates. I write ‘dates’ and not ‘date’ because this man was frequently resetting his sobriety date as he returned repeatedly to pornography.”

Lecrae: Runners

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In Christ, You are Holy, Royal, and Chosen

You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light

(1 Peter 2:9).

Imagine you’re at your wedding standing across from the woman you love. The pastor is saying something about forever…rich or poor…better or worse… But if you’re honest, it’s all a blur. Your mind is fixated on the beauty in front of you.

You know you love this woman, and you decided long before this moment that you want to spend your life with her, so whatever you agree to at this point is just confirmation of what you already know in your heart.

The important thing to recognize though, is this ceremony is the moment when you will finally become her husband.

For those of you who have been there, did you have any idea how to be a husband on the day of your wedding? Did you fully understand what you were agreeing to when you made those vows?

Nope. None of us did.

But that didn’t change the fact that you still became a husband the moment you said “I do.” It just means you now get to spend the rest of your life figuring out what being a husband looks like.

That’s the thing about identity. You often become something long before you know how to actually be that something.

 

You often become something

long before you know how to

actually be that something.

 

The moment you put your faith in Christ you became a royal priest. You became holy. You are now possessed by God in the same way a husband and wife possess one another.

Do you know how to be a priest? Do you know how to be holy? Probably not completely. But the more you trust that God has already made those descriptors true of you, the more you will learn how to live according to that truth.

You are already a priest. Now you can learn how to live as one.

You are already holy. Now you get to learn how to walk in holiness.

You are already God’s possession, and not even death can separate the two of you.

And as a result, “you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.”

This has been a repost from the archives.

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Smart Quote: Douglas Adams

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

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