Stephen Kuhn's Blog, page 34

DONE: You Have Been Filled with God’s Light

For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! (Ephesians 5:8)

Have you ever tried to stop light from spreading?

Perhaps you’ve put your hand over a flashlight in a dark room, but the light still spilled out around your fingers, causing them to glow pink in the thinner spots.

You could always try putting a bucket over the flashlight, but would the light really be gone? Not at all. The inside of that bucket would still be lit up even if you couldn’t see it from the outside.

The light of Christ has this same effect within you. You used to be full of darkness, but now that you are in Christ, His light is illuminating your heart and giving life to your soul. Whether you can see it or not, it’s there. And nothing will ever be able to shut it off.

However, just like the flashlight, it’s up to you whether you share it with others. You can keep it hidden, or you can allow it to shine on those around you. Jesus made it pretty clear what He is hoping you will choose:

No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father (Matthew 5:15-16).

So don’t hide God’s light. Let it shine! Love others with the love of Christ. Offer the same grace and forgiveness that He offered you.

Be a beacon of hope for those who are still wandering in the darkness.

After all, isn’t that what it means to live as people of light?

This post was an excerpt from my book, DONE. 52 Amazing Things that Became True of You the Moment You Trusted Christ. The entire book is available as individual posts here, but if you prefer a good old-fashion paperback, you can purchase one on Amazon.

The post DONE: You Have Been Filled with God’s Light appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

My One Thing: Jenny Miller

“What’s the one piece of advice you would give

to someone struggling with porn addiction?”

Jenny Miller is one of the directors for Dirty Girls Ministries, a ministry that seeks to offer help, hope, and healing for women who struggle with pornography and sexual addition.

Connect with Jenny:

Website: www.dirtygirlsministries.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WholeWomen

Twitter: @DirtyGirlsMin

Check out all the “One Thing” video interviews here.

Transcript

Steve: Hey guys! Steve here with Belt of Truth Ministries. I’ve got Jenny Miller of the line. Jenny is one of the directors for Dirty Girls Ministries. That’s a ministry that seeks to offer health, hope and healing for women who struggle with pornography and sexual addiction. Jenny thanks for joining us. What’s the one piece of advice that you would give to somebody struggling with pornography?

Jenny: Well there’s many things that people can do that are kind of struggling with this but it’s kind of a two-fold answer to that. I would say to any woman that’s struggling with pornography or sexual addiction that we hear off a lot that the very first thing is that they feel like they’re the only person that’s struggling with this and with the advent of the internet and everything you hear online dealing with pornography addiction, you would think other women would defy other women but that’s the number one thing that we hear in our ministry. Is that they feel like they’re the only one.

So I think realizing that is the first thing and then breaking that silence because that can keep us bound for so long and as for myself, 11 years I struggled with keeping that a secret. And so I think finding a community of people like yourself that can reach out and help you and just opening your mouth and breaking that silence and that stigma that you have to keep it silent would be the biggest piece of advice I can offer.

Steve: Great. I think that’s excellent advice. Thank you for sharing that with everybody. Tell people how they can find out more about you and you and your ministry and all that online.

Jenny: Well we have a website. It is www.dirtygilrsministries.com. There you can find resources and information and we have a community of over 2,000 women that are there. You can join and become a member. There’s all kinds of workshops and groups that we’re working. We have a conference coming in August so you can definitely check that out.

Steve: Great. Well thanks Jenny. I’ll be sure to put all that information in the show notes and viewers, just let you guys know whenever I get contacted by a woman asking for help. Obviously it’s not appropriate for me to work with them and I always point them towards Dirty Girls Ministries because I loved what you guys doing. Jenny I think you’re feeling a much-needed need and so yeah keep up the great work. Thanks again for your time and all that you guys are doing.

Jenny: Thank you.

Steve: Thank you.

The post My One Thing: Jenny Miller appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Smart Quote: T.C. Ryan

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

The post Smart Quote: T.C. Ryan appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Reader Q/A: How Do I Know if My Husband Truly Has Changed?

Question: Wow! Your story sounds just like mine except I’m not sure if my husband cheated or not… I guess I might never know since he’s still in denial and escape lying mode. Anyway, he left me about a month ago because he got frustrated and doesn’t believe God wants to help him from his addictions.

I have been praying for one month for God’s will in my life. I’ve tried contacting my husband but he doesn’t really care to connect with me outside of marriage counseling.

Is it ok to wait in my heart about two more months and then back away completely to see if he really does want to change? How will I know if he does change? I’m so confused with his charm and his words. All trust has been broken and I have hope in God to move me forward but I just don’t know if it’s with him or not.

I’m sorry to hear about your difficulties with your husband. I hope you know you’re not alone in that. Your situation is more common than you may realize.

It’s not my place to give you any advice regarding timeline or what your next steps should be, although I will encourage you to cover every decision with prayer. If you seek the Lord’s will, He will make your path clear.

More often than not though, when I see these situations, they always take much longer than you would hope. So I also encourage you to wait patiently and pray for Him as long as you are able. I strung my wife along for more than a year with my lies and controlling. Honestly, I’m surprised she stayed as long as she did. The sad part is, by the time the Lord humbled me and I began to truly find freedom from my sin, she was already gone.

That being said, sometime backing away is what it takes for a husband to recognize the seriousness of his situation. That doesn’t automatically mean divorce, but maybe a separation would be enough to wake him up. Just be careful there. Literally every time I’ve seen a couple separate, the enemy comes in with some new guy or girl who looks like the perfect person for you in an effort to take your mind off of reconciliation. So guard yourself if you feel led in that direction, and be prepared for your husband to possibly (but hopefully not) use the separation as an excuse to move on himself.

Either way, keep watching him and asking the Lord to show you how He’s working in your husband. You may not be able to trust your husband for a long time, but perhaps you will be able to trust God working within him.

I do wish you and your husband the best. I will be praying for you both. If he ever does become open to addressing the issues in his life, feel free to have him contact me. I’d love to talk with him when he’s ready.

—Stephen

The post Reader Q/A: How Do I Know if My Husband Truly Has Changed? appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Restoring the Soul: Six Broken Promises Behind Every Porn Addiction

“One of the questions I hear most frequently in my work with men battling sexual compulsions is this: Is freedom really possible?”

CovenantEyes: So Does That Make Me an Adulterer?

“For over 28 years I’ve heard the question from married men who’ve used porn: ‘Did I commit adultery? Can my wife divorce me now? Is she right when she says porn use is the same as cheating?’”

People of the Second Chance: We Should Love Practically Not Perfectly

“With a rise in social media and the constant comparison we are forced to draw of ourselves to other people each time we log on, we’ve begun to believe we need to be picture perfect. But what Joshua revealed here is that the most meaningful relationships evolve out of our flaws.”

XXXChurch: 3 Things I Wish My Parents Had Told Me About Sex

“Sex wasn’t something we talked much about at my house growing up. Yes, my dad gave me the ol’ birds and bees talk and yes, I was taught that God wanted me to save sex for marriage. Thankfully, that teaching took. I made it to marriage a virgin. But I can tell you waiting was not always easy. So what do I wish my parents told me about sex?”

Johann Hari: Everything You Think You Know About Addiction is Wrong

The post Weekly Web (W)roundup appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

DONE: You are Welcome in God’s Presence

 Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence (Ephesians 3:12).

I don’t know what it is about the waiting rooms in doctors’ offices, but it seems they all come with a stack of outdated People magazines. Apparently, the best way to calm people’s minds before their impending colonoscopy is to offer them reading material about the secret lives of celebrities.

As I thumbed through a few issues (you know…for science!), I got to see photos of George Clooney’s fancy new estate in the Italian Riviera. Then there was an entire story updating everyone on the status of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s marriage. And, of course, there were multiple pictures of celebrities doing such exciting things as grocery shopping and even walking along the beach with their kids.

None of these photos looked to be welcomed or endorsed by the celebrities. Rather, they were all taken from far away with a telephoto lens. In fact, some of these celebrities have made it quite clear that they don’t want such intrusions in their private lives. According to the story on George Clooney, he made an agreement with the local police to fine anyone who ventures too close to his house with a camera. I think it’s safe to say that most people are not welcome into the presence of famous people.

Now, I understand not wanting the paparazzi to follow you around spying on you everywhere you go. I’m not saying these celebrities are wrong at all for desiring to maintain some sort of private life in spite of the media intruding on them constantly. If someone started taking pictures of my family for TMZ, you can bet that I would surely respond the same way.

Imagine though, if George Clooney and Kim Kardashian have such a problem with people trying to gain access to them that they need to separate themselves through legal boundaries, how much more attention does God receive from everyone trying to get to Him? You would think if anyone was going to wall themselves off from the hordes of fans and followers trying to get too close, it would be God.

In one sense, that is how it used to be. Prior to the cross, there was a thick curtain separating the room where God dwelled (the Holy of Holies) from the rest of the temple—and from the world. If anyone other than the high priest dared to go behind this curtain into God’s presence, they would have died instantly. This was such a serious deal that even the high priest had to go through a ceremonial cleansing process to make sure his sins had all been removed before entering. In addition, the other priests would tie a bell and a rope around his ankle. If the bell went silent, it meant the high priest had died and his corpse would need to be dragged out from behind the curtain. This may all seem harsh, but it’s the reality of what happens to an unrighteous person who enters into the presence of God’s holiness.

God, however, wanted to make a way for us to become welcome in His presence, and He had a plan to solve the problem. He sent Jesus to pay for our sins with His death, which immediately tore the temple curtain in two, proving to us that the separation is now gone. We’ve been invited into God’s presence.

The moment you became unified with Christ, you were made holy and righteous because of your faith in Him. It’s as if you were transformed into the same position as the high priest, only now you’ve been purified permanently. You can be so sure of this, that you don’t even need to tie a bell on your ankle. Thanks to Jesus, you can now come into God’s presence with boldness and confidence, any time you wish.

This post was an excerpt from my book, DONE. 52 Amazing Things that Became True of You the Moment You Trusted Christ. The entire book is available as individual posts here, but if you prefer a good old-fashion paperback, you can purchase one on Amazon.

The post DONE: You are Welcome in God’s Presence appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

My One Thing: Traylor Lovvorn

“What’s the one piece of advice you would give

to someone struggling with porn addiction?”

Traylor Lovvorn is the Chief Ragamuffin, Founder, and CEO of Route1520, and the Executive Director of Undone Redone

Connect with Traylor:

Blog: www.undoneredone.com

Ministry: www.route1520.com

Podcast: Undone Redone on iTunes and Stitcher Radio

Facebook: www.facebook.com/traylorlovvorn

Twitter: @tlovvorn 

Instagram: @tlovvorn

Email: traylor@route1520.com

Check out all the “One Thing” video interviews here.

Transcript

 

Coming soon…

The post My One Thing: Traylor Lovvorn appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Smart Quote: John Lynch

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

The post Smart Quote: John Lynch appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Top 10 Websites to Help You Overcome Pornography Addiction

Believe it or not, we’re not the only site on the internet dedicated to helping others find freedom from pornography addiction. Some may see these other sites as the competition, but I see them as members of the same team. So, for that reason, I would like to share with you ten sites that I personally follow and whole-heartedly recommend. These top 10 websites have been helpful in my own journey from pornography addiction, and I trust they will be equally helpful in yours as well.

1. XXXChurch

These guys are amazing. They offer articles, resources, self-assessment tests, accountability, and even filtering software. I thoroughly enjoy the various blogs found throughout the site, and am constantly encouraged by their stories of others finding freedom from pornography addiction. (Full disclosure: I do write for them from time to time.)

2. Freedom in Christ Ministries

Dr. Neil T. Anderson focuses on educating and equipping those who struggle with addictions by helping them better understand what true spiritual freedom looks like. My own journey to freedom began while reading The Bondage Breaker, one of Dr. Anderson’s Books.

3. Samson Society

A nationwide network of men who have chosen to come out of isolation and share their lives with one another. I highly recommend joining a Samson Group, as recovery becomes much more likely when you enter into a community of trusted brothers. Their Pirate Monk Radio podcast is one of my favorites.

4. TrueFaced

TrueFaced is dedicated to teaching “the original good news” of the Gospel. Their message of God’s grace and unconditional love changed my entire view of God, setting me free from the behavior-based religiosity that was contributing to my addiction.

5. Ransomed Heart

Freedom from addiction isn’t an outside-in transformation (IE: change your behavior in order to change your heart), it’s an inside-out transformation. Once your heart comes alive to Christ, your behavior will take care of itself. The ministry of Ransomed Heart is dedicated to helping men (and women) discover their true hearts and awakening them to the adventure God has called them into.

6. Route 1520

Route1520 is built on the firm belief that individuals cannot change through mere willpower or simply learning Biblical principles and trying to carry them out. They believe that change takes place in community as we take the Gospel of Jesus Christ more deeply into our understanding and into our hearts. This process is a journey and not a quick-fix formula.

7. Setting Captives Free

Offers free online courses and materials to assist you in your journey to freedom, whether it be from pornography, over-eating, gambling, or any other addiction.

8. Your Brain on Porn

Focuses on the scientific approach to understanding the effects of pornography on the brain. If you like to geek out on stuff like dopamine-signaling, this is the site for you.

9. Covenant Eyes / X3Watch

I have been pleased with each of these filtering software options, so I encourage you to try them both and decide which one you prefer. Both sites offer great articles and resources that are worth looking into as well.

10. Dirty Girls Ministries

Not all porn users are men, and the percentage of female users is growing alarmingly fast. Dirty Girls Ministries exists to provide these women with help, hope, and healing from pornography and sexual addiction.

Are there other sites that you would you recommend?

The post Top 10 Websites to Help You Overcome Pornography Addiction appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Shaunti Feldhahn: Spill Out Your Secrets To Fill Up Your Marriage

“When it comes to marriage, you truly get what you give.  By giving trust and being willing to share your secrets, you will, over time, fill up your marriage.”

Relevant: Porn Is Not Just a Man’s Problem

“Even the Church at large has had a role in the double-standard by pushing sermons, messages and ministries encouraging men to deal with their lust, porn and sexual immorality. But what about women?”

Beyond Evangelical: How to Respond to the World’s Narrative

“The challenge today, then, is to follow the despised craftsman from Nazareth who was the friend of sinners on the one hand, but who was separate from sinners on the other, even speaking unpopular truth to power.”

XXXChurch: 5 Signs That You Are Addicted

“I think deep down I always knew I was addicted, even if I didn’t admit it to myself, but there were certainly a lot of signs if I had just been alert enough to see them. Here are five.”

Brian Sumner: I Am Second

The post Weekly Web (W)roundup appeared first on Belt of Truth Ministries.