Chris Cannon's Blog, page 3

Make Me Laugh Wednesday

It’s Make Me Laugh Wednesday. I hope these random funnies make you smile.

The post Make Me Laugh Wednesday appeared first on Chris Cannon.

Make Me Laugh Wednesday

It’s Make Me Laugh Wednesday. I hope these make you smile. Have a great day.

The post Make Me Laugh Wednesday appeared first on Chris Cannon.

Make Me Laugh Wednesday

It’s Make Me Laugh Wednesday. I hope these random funnies make you smile. Have a great day.

The post Make Me Laugh Wednesday appeared first on Chris Cannon.

Make Me Laugh Wednesday

It’s Make Me Laugh Wednesday. I hope these make you smile. Have a great day.

The post Make Me Laugh Wednesday appeared first on Chris Cannon.

Demon Bound Book Birthday

Demon Bound is live today. I’m so excited to share this new world of witches, vampires and demons. All the hours I spent watching The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, and Supernatural sparked the idea for this story. Here’s the back cover copy:

When a summoning goes awry, suddenly booknerd Meena’s summer job
becomes something drastically different. Instead of cleaning eccentric Carol’s
house, she’s bound to a demon as his soul-collector. Soon Meena discovers that
the boring, pageant-obsessed, bonfire-loving town that she’s never fit in to is
a hotbed for soul-sucking demons, demon-hunting witches, and vampires who just
wanna have fun… And then she comes into her own powers.



Could things get any stranger? Good thing she meets new guy Jake—who gets her
and still hangs around.



When Jake’s mom sends him off to his Aunt Zelda’s for the summer, he thought
he’d be bored. But nothing is what it seems in this town. His aunt isn’t just
odd, she’s a witch who fights demons and tries to maintain the magical balance
of the town. Jake should get the hell out of there and, he would leave, except
for bad-ass newbie witch Meena, who looks at him like he matters.



He never counted on sticking around, but Meena’s bound to a demon who wants to
destroy her soul—and Jake’s finally found someone worth fighting for.

Demon Bound is available in ebook and paperback form. You can find it at your preferred online retailer. https://books2read.com/DemonBound1

The post Demon Bound Book Birthday appeared first on Chris Cannon.

Make Me Laugh Wednesday

It’s make me laugh Wednesday. I hope these make you smile. Have a great day.

The post Make Me Laugh Wednesday appeared first on Chris Cannon.

Make Me Laugh Wednesday: Demon Bound

It’s Make Me Laugh Wednesday. I’m sharing a scene from Demon Bound which is up for Pre-Order. (Shameless self promotion)

Zelda stood off to the side holding a Super Soaker water gun. “Sorry about this, kids. We can’t take any chances.” And then she took aim and fired. A stream of cold water drenched the front of my dress and Jake’s shirt.

“What the hell?” Jake sputtered, wiping water from his face.

“Are you insane?” Wait, I already knew the answer to that question. “Why did you do that?”

Carol tossed me a towel and then handed one to Jake. “Since you’re not smoking, we can assume you’re not demons.”

“Why would you think we were demons?” I asked.

“The séance didn’t go well at the Dixons’ house,” Zelda said. “Apparently their oldest son made a deal and then decided he wanted to change his mind.”

“Made a deal?” I said. “What are you talking about?” The towel Carol gave me didn’t do much to dry my dress.

“I’ll explain everything,” Carol assured us. “Give me a minute and I’ll grab you some dry clothes.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her to forget this whole summer job.
She must have sensed what I was about to say because she said, “I swear, we were making sure you were safe. We needed to know you weren’t possessed.”

Jake touched my shoulder. “Does any of this make sense to you?”
“No.”

“So it’s not some small-town joke you play on the outsider?”

I shook my head.

“I’ll make us all a nice cup of tea and we’ll explain.” Zelda headed toward the kitchen.

“Tea isn’t going to dry my dress.” I swiped at the soaked fabric and then tossed the towel on the coffee table. “This has been nice. I’m going.”

“You can’t go.” Carol came closer. “I know you think I’ve lost my marbles, but there’s a lot you don’t know about Crossroads. Stay for tea, I’ll pay you for your time, and then you can do whatever you want.”

There was a new hardback book I wanted to order so… “Fine. I’ll stay.”

“Thank you. I’ll be back in a minute.”

If she was really worried, what did that mean? Wait a minute… “You could’ve asked me to drink more holy water instead of giving me a shower,” I called out after her retreating form. She didn’t respond.

Jake looked at me sideways. “You drank holy water?”

“Yes, and I’m sure the tea will be made with it, too. Your aunt might be New Agey, but Carol believes in all sorts of supernatural things.”

“Like?”

I pointed at the jars full of silvery liquid. “Apparently those swirly things are the souls of her enemies.”

“Seriously?”

I nodded.

“And you agreed to work for her?”

“It was either this or fast food,” I snapped. “And I’m allergic to hair nets.”

Carol came back carrying two black robes. “Change into these and we’ll put your clothes in the dryer.”

I held the garment at arm’s length. “These aren’t some sort of sacrificial robes, are they?”

“They’re terry cloth,” Carol said. “Sacrificial robes are never made of terry cloth.”

I did not find her response comforting.

“The laundry room is off the kitchen.” She headed in that direction and Jake followed.

Should I stay and ride out this wave of weirdness, or bail? I shivered as the air-conditioning kicked on. First I’d get dry, and then I’d figure out what the heck was going on.

When I entered the kitchen, Carol said, “Jake went in the laundry room, so you can change in the bathroom.” Once I had the too-big robe on and my dress was spinning around in the dryer, I joined the two ladies and Jake at the kitchen table.

“Do not drink the tea,” Jake warned as I reached for my cup.

“Why not?” I peered into the brown liquid.

“There is nothing wrong with the tea,” his aunt chided.

“Trust me. It tastes bad.” Jake seemed serious. “Sniff it first if you don’t believe me.”

I picked up the warm cup and inhaled some of the steam. It smelled like a dusty old spice cabinet. “What’s in here?”

“It’s chamomile clove tea,” Zelda said.

Yuck. I hated cloves. “No thanks.”

“Take one sip,” Carol said. “It helps ward off demons.”

And I’m done. “You know, this job may not be for me.”

“Not so fast, I saw you checking out my library,” Carol said. “Take a sip and I’ll give you access to my books.”

Dang. She’d discovered my kryptonite. Maybe I could adjust to her level of wackiness if it meant access to her library. I eyed the brown beverage in my cup. “There’re no souls in here, right?”

“Nope. Just holy water, chamomile, and cloves.”

I put the cup to my lips and sipped, grimacing at the bitter taste.

“Told you,” Jake said.

He wasn’t wrong. I wanted off this ride. “You’ve got ten minutes to convince me that you aren’t batshit crazy.” I set the timer on my cell. “And go.”

“A few years ago,” Zelda said, “Brant Dixon made a deal with a demon and—”
“Wait a minute,” Jake said. “The town is named Crossroads and it has demons? Are you saying this is literally a crossroads where you can find wish-granting demons?”
His aunt and Carol both nodded.

I laughed. No one else joined in.“Oh, come on.” I pushed to my feet.

Carol pointed at my cell. “Time’s not up yet.”

“Fine.” I sat back down.

“Do you know who Brant is?” Carol asked.

He’d gone to school with my oldest sister. “Sure. Everyone knows who he is.”

“Did you ever wonder how a tall skinny kid became the quarterback and married the head cheerleader?”

I didn’t know much about sports, but most of the football players looked like they could bench-press a car. Brant might be the same height but he probably weighed a third of what most of those guys did. Something didn’t add up. “Are you freaking serious? The idiot sold his soul so he could play sports and date a cheerleader?”

“Loser,” Jake muttered. “If you’re going to sell your soul it should be for something big, like a million dollars or the cure for cancer.”

“Don’t even joke about selling your soul.” Zelda pointed at him. “Demons are always listening and waiting to prey on the weak.”

I took a deep breath and blew it out. “For the sake of argument, let’s say I believe about the demons. Why are you so freaked out?”

“Brant’s mom claimed she wanted a séance so she could ask her great-aunt Betty for a pumpkin pecan pie recipe. Once I summoned Betty, Brant called to his demon. Things went downhill after that. Brant argued that he didn’t owe the demon his soul on account of his wife leaving him. He claimed that voided their deal.”

“And the demon didn’t agree?” Jake said.

“No. He did not, and he expressed his discontent by making Brant slam his head on the dining room table until he cracked his skull open.”

“Oh…well that’s a disturbing visual.”

“And now the demon is mad at me,” Zelda said, “because he thinks I was involved in the deceit.”

“Can’t you tell him you weren’t in on it?” Jake asked.

“Demons aren’t known for being reasonable,” Carol said.

“That still doesn’t explain why you thought Jake and I needed to be blasted with holy water.”

“Demons can hitch a ride with unsuspecting victims,” Carol said. “Bane, the crossroads demon in question, would find the people closest to Zelda and try to use them. So we couldn’t take any chances.”

~I hope you enjoyed this excerpt. You can pre-order a copy at https://books2read.com/DemonBound1

The post Make Me Laugh Wednesday: Demon Bound appeared first on Chris Cannon.

Make Me Laugh Wednesday: Cats at Christmas

It’s Make Me Laugh Wednesday. Here’s some holiday related humor featuring Cats at Christmas. I hope you have a great day.

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Make Me Laugh Wednesday: Coffee Humor

It’s Make Me Laugh Wednesday. Here’s some coffee humor to start your day. I hope you’re having a good week.

The post Make Me Laugh Wednesday: Coffee Humor appeared first on Chris Cannon.

Make Me Laugh Wednesday

It’s make me laugh Wednesday. I hope these make you smile. Have a great day.

The post Make Me Laugh Wednesday appeared first on Chris Cannon.