Josef Matulich's Blog, page 9
July 7, 2018
JFF: Underappreciated Songs about Spaceflight
If you thought off the top of you head, it would be easy to come up with a fistful of songs about spaceflight in sixty seconds. This is the list after you’ve exhausted “Rocket Man,”, “Space Oddity”, “Flash Gordon”, and “Starman”.
Beep, Beep, by Louis Prima
In 1957, everyone was crazy about space, including the guy who brought you “Just a Gigolo”.
Space Truckin’, by Deep Purple
Heavy metal space excursion by the folks that brought you “Smoke on the Water.” It should be used for wake up calls on the ISS, but they don’t.
Space is the Place, by Sun Ra
The eccentric genius of the Jazz world, Sun Ra claimed to be a visitor from Saturn. Evidently the planet is very much like Ancient Egypt and filled with funk. This is a segment taken from the Sun Ra movie.
Watcher of the Skies, by Genesis
WTF, Peter Gabriel?
Mr. Spaceman, by The Byrds
Doubling down on the classic rock space shenanigans, this is a cover of a Dylan song. Big fun as TV producers first discover blue-screen sets.
Mothership Connection, Parliament
The inventors of Cosmic Funk and frequent starship landings at concerts and Muppet movies, Parliament made it fun to be alienated.
Calling Occupants of Interstellar Craft, by Klaatu
At first believed to be the Beatles incognito, Klaatu was a bunch of Canadians that named their band after a robot space cop. This song can stick in your head for weeks.
Across the Universe, by The Beatles
A psychedelic voyage through the Cosmos with the originals.
39, by Queen
A tale of space exploration and time dilation, the lead on this track is taken by Brian May who eventually became a scientist on the Pluto probe project. Double spacey.
Humans from Earth, by T-bone Burnett
If you had enough of cosmic optimism, “Humans from Earth” is perfect as the cynical sales pitch of Terran colonists bringing progress and Manifest Destiny whether the natives want it or not.
Major Tom, by Peter Schiller
The unofficial sequel to Bowie’s “Space Oddity”, Schilling’s cosmic synthpop single captures the tension of the countdown and the spacey dilemma of the marooned astronaut. The chorus is a dangerous earworm.
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May 17, 2018
Readings & Royal Weddings
I’m afraid this is short notice, and it will be a short notice of it. This weekend we have two big events. Saturday, we are throwing a Royal Wedding party at the Alley. attendees are encouraged to wear their tiaras and ambassadorial sashes, fancy frocks and frock coats. I will be providing cupcakes and various liquid refreshments (cough, champagne) will be served. Once again, a proof that you’re never too old to play dress up. For details you can check out the link below:
https://www.facebook.com/events/415971332184869/
On Sunday, we’re having a little launch event for my third novel “The Ren Faire at the End of the World” at the Book Loft. I’ll be reading ,signing, and offering up chocolate undead bunnies. I’m doing a traumatic reading of my second favorite sequence in the book, with Landsknecht reenactors and Scadians squaring off against the Forces of Evil. My favorite sequence would be entirely too spoilery.
The link to that event is here, if you’re interested. It remains here if you’re disinterested:
Now, I’ve got to be preparing. Where is my clear vanilla extract and meringue powder?
May 4, 2018
Sex, Magick & … WTF CBS?
Good thing I started doubling up on my antidepressants this week.
I was on Twitter, as I am often wont to do when there are more productive things to do in the morning, when I came across an advert for the latest project appearing on CBS All Access. It was “Strange Angel”, the partially true story of the founder of JPL and follower of Aleister Crowley (just as Jeremiah Stone is in Arcanum Faire). Okay, sounds frothy and fun and things will most likely blow up good in the end.
But the tag line they used in the trailer…
“Sex, Magick, and Rocket Science”?
For my dozens of fans out there, this is a recognizable phrase. I have been describing the Arcanum Faire books as “A comedy of Sex, Magick, and Power Tools” for five years, now. And it’s not like it is only written on the underside of a rock in a sugar beet field in Elk Grove CA. You can find it here:
https://www.netgalley.com/catalog/book/122949
and here:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25217904-power-tools-in-the-sacred-grove
and even here:
It’s quite possible that the bright young person responsible, because they’re all bright and young in Hollywood PR, came across my tagline and said “Hey, what a great idea! I’m sure that Matlick guy will be flattered if we copy it!” Consider the ten-thousand variations of “Where’s the Beef?”
Well, I’m irritated, but realistic about it. You can’t really copyright a tagline, though with some effort and cash you can trademark it. And even if there was legal recourse, CBS has enough lawyers to beat a Mastadon to death with teaspoons. There’s not much I can do but fill the cybersphere with my own hashtags to slipstream the wake of this well-funded vessel. So here we go:
#SexMagick&PowerTools
#ArcanumFaire
Care to join me?
April 26, 2018
Books Among the Vikings
This weekend is the Ashville Viking Fest, a celebration of living history and re-enactors. Everything from Vikings to medieval jousters and Landsknechts will be represented. I will be there selling books, especially The Ren Faire at the End of the World. Many of the real (?) characters that inspired characters in my books will be there.
And they’ll have weapons.
This should be fun
April 22, 2018
Thirty Years
Today is my thirtieth anniversary of marriage to my wife Kit. Since I was twenty-nine at the time, this means I have spent more than half of my life with her.
From a hot tub full of illicit Mr. Bubble to the loss of our daughter, it has been a rocky thirty years. The only way we made it is that we clung together like shipwrecked sailors in a storm. We were each others rescue and reward.
I plan to cling to her for another thirty years.
April 7, 2018
Ohioana next week
I will be at Ohioana Book Fest next week for my book “The Ren Faire at the End of the World.” I am attaching the 19 page newsletter from them for you to peruse at your leisure. I hope to see you all there.
March 22, 2018
Today is strange…
Today is the twenty-third anniversary of our daughter’s death. She died in her sleep two weeks short of her fifth birthday. This leaves a hole in our lives that in spite of all reason seems to get larger with the passing of time. I’ve taken the day off work to spend time with my wife. We’re going to the conservatory to smell flowers and think of Alyssa.
While we were upstairs, my computer started playing “The Hamilton Polka” for no reason. I came downstairs and shut it off with a click. The system wasn’t up on Itunes, so the cats couldn’t have set it off by stepping on the keyboard. If this was a sign from the afterlife, it is the weirdest one I could imagine.
Today is strange…
March 13, 2018
The Gleisser-Matulich Obtusity Scale, v. 0.9
My literary wing-man, Sheldon Gleisser, felt compelled to create a scaled for the obtusity of movies after seeing Annihilation. Not that it was a bad movie, but even if you had read the book which shared a title and few other points with it, you still had no idea what was going on when the credits rolled. It may have been artistic, but it was definitely obtuse. Perhaps not as mind-numbingly obtuse as 2001, but way more than the Andromeda Strain that made sure to explain the scientific process through-out and wrapped up with a voice-over. Voice-overs are Kryptonite for obtuse movies.
So, sitting down at the local B&N with hot beverages, we hammered out a ten point scaled for Movie Obtusity: The Gleisser-Matulich Obtusity Scale, or GMO. You really don’t want this GMO in your popcorn.
In considering if a movie is Obtuse, there are three primary factors we looked at. The first is Accessibility. If the film is set in a milieu that is recognizable to the audience, like a contemporary drama or frequently seen historical era like the Western or WWII, the audience will be able to grasp the context without too much effort. A thriller set in Pre-Columbian Central America without English dialogue risks being Obtuse.
The second factor is Plot Clarity. If everything on the screen does not need explanation, or is explained in grueling detail, the film is not Obtuse. If the hero of the film moves from a vehicle in space to a prolonged special-effects sequence to a French Provincial bedroom, this is Obtuse.
The final consideration is Interior Logic. If every single event in a film comes from a previously seen event and extends to the next event, it is a least less Obtuse. If the teenage hero is haunted by the dead man in the rabbit suit he will accidentally kill in the third reel, not so much.
So here is the initial version of the Gleisser-Matulich Obtusity Scale. Feel free to suggest additions or changes of point value. Just, please don’t be obtuse about it.
Level 1: Where the Hero is always right & no-body thinks too much.
The Andromeda Strain
any Steve Reeves gladiator movie
most John Wayne movies
Level 2: Well, That’s Something New.
Billy Jack
El Dorado
Star Wars
Level 3: Yeah, I Guess That Makes Sense
Gojira
The Legend of Hell House
The Towering Inferno
Level 4: Whatever…
Robocop
Unforgiven
The Poseidon Adventure
Level 5: Here be Anti-Heroes & Ambivalence
Kong: Skull Island
any of the Clint Eastwood Man with No Name films
Pacific Rim
Level 6: I’ll Watch This Again Later
Star Trek: the Motion Picture
Tron: Legacy
Excalibur
Level 7: I Think This Might Be Bad
Alien
Monsters
The Shape of Water
The Manchurian Candidate
Starship Troopers
Level 8: Everything You Know is Wrong
The Matrix
Annihilation
Buckaroo Banzai.
Level 9: Would Someone Care to Explain This?
The Innocents
The Others
Inception
The Sender
The Cell
Level 10: WTF Did I Just Watch?
Shutter Island
Shin Godzilla
Mother!
Jodorowski’s Magic Mountain
Zardoz
2001
March 5, 2018
Cleveland Concoction
I am honored to be appearing at Cleveland Concoction this March 9-11th, Bertram Inn & Conference Center in Aurora OH. Check me out for my Perfectly Respectable Author Persona and Outlandish Costuming gleaned from the Alley. Here is a link for further details:
http://www.clevelandconcoction.org/
The schedule goes like this:
Friday, 12 pm: Time Management for Authors
How do you write with a full time job, school, kids, house, parents, siblings, and everything else that can take up your time? Our panelists discuss tips and strategies for making time to write even with plenty of distractions
Friday, 11 pm: The Executions Begin at Midnight
Authors discuss their favorite bizarre and violent end of one of their characters. Conversation may segue into Poetic Justice punishments for modern day social crimes, such as using their cell phone in a theater, leaving the toilet seat up, or purchasing 32 items in the express lane.
Saturday, 1 pm: Influencing Culture Through Fiction
How has fantasy been able to influence our culture and perceptions? How can we continue to push the boundaries?
Saturday, 2 pm: Author Showcase (Session 3)
Listen to your favorite authors read excerpts from released and soon to be released works. Find your next great read. Ask questions, and discover the new worlds.
Wherein I intend to read a selection from RFEW that allows Eleazar to channel Aragorn.
Saturday, 9 pm: Flash Fiction
Flash and micro fiction is perfect for our fast-paced society. Mastering the art of writing the super-short story can be a new author’s avenue into the business, or a seasoned writer’s best mode of advertising current novels.
March 2, 2018
Floor Show, No Extra Charge.
My blog was taken over by a stranger, a crazy man, who thought that this might be a place for serious social intercourse without lubrication. That individual has been captured and locked away in a basement room in Omelas.
You won’t be hearing from him soon.
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The Matulich clan, like most families, has its own series of family in-jokes and schtick. When two or more of us spend time together, it’s the return of vaudeville.
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An inanimate object falls to the floor, for whatever reason:
“It was depressed.”
Since every member of the family is under treatment for depression, or should be, this shouldn’t be a recurring gag. But, Hell, we all take our meds or engage in art therapy, it can take care of itself, too. Besides, we’re always there to pick the object back up.
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“C’est la vie.”
“LA VEE.”
“Thank you.”
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The ultimate press conference gotcha moment, usually performed by two to amplify the weirdness:
“Senator, how long have you been ripping the nipples off baby ducks?”
“Baby ducks don’t have nipples.”
“YOU GOT THEM ALL?”
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Thank you, thank you! We’ll be here all week. Remember to tip your wait staff, and then return them to their original upright position.
