Kendra Tierney's Blog, page 8

A Pride and Prejudice 2nd Birthday Party to Ardently Admire and Love

Lulu's "Pie Pedjus" second birthday party was last weekend, but it's taken me all week to get this post written because I fell hard down the rabbit hole of picMonkey + Jane Austen. But more on that later.

First, for the party . . .


Lulu is a big, big fan of the BabyLit books. They're all super cute. But her favorite (and mine) is Pie Pedjus.

Pride & Prejudice: A BabyLit® Counting PrimerAnd that's what she asked for as a birthday party. It just so happened that we had recently bought a house that seemed more appropriate for the event than our current house (despite it not having furniture, or entirely functioning toilets). So, we used her birthday as a chance to invite a few friend over to see the new digs.

The Food:

I was going for old-timey/toddler-appropriate/could be prepared in a pretty-much-not-functional kitchen. So, we ended up with picnic foods . . .

tea sandwichespb&jchicken salad sandwicheschicken nuggetskale salad (toddlers love kale)bowl of berriesfruit basket how cute are these bibs from Bamboo Button?!The Decor:

We are currently without a color printer, which is how I usually do my decorating. So the decor was some paper bunting and battery operated lights.

But that's okay, because who would want to look at anything except these ladies in their regency dresses?


My friend Geraly made the dresses for all four of the girls because she is the best, and very, very talented and you should check out her Etsy shop and her beautiful and whimsical art here and here. And tell her I say, "hi."

The Cake:

I had grand plans for a cake . . .  that turned into cupcakes when I realized that all my cake pans are packed up.





I made all the little decorations by putting a piece of parchment paper over the book and drawing the illustrations in candy melts. I do not know why I can do this. But I can. So I do.


The Game:

Usually Jack comes up with the games for our parties. But he's been busy with real school and all that goes along with it. So, I was in charge. And whenever I would try to think of a game that would have to do with Pride and Prejudice, all I could think of was this scene from the 2005 movie (which I LOVE, despite the haters and their hatin').


Gus agreed to be the piglet.




The Craft:

I usually have a little craft for kids to do at our parties, and since it was St. Nicholas Day, I figured the kids could make ornaments with these great Kiwi Crate holiday kits that the good folks at Kiwi Crate sent me after I recommended them to you guys last month. But then everyone at the party was having fun just running around so I brought them home and let my kids do them all by themselves.





They turned out really cute, and it looks like most of the kits are still available. You can buy the holiday kits individually, without a subscription. (They're under the shop tab.) You can get 60% off with the code BACK60, but I'm not sure if it applies to individual crates, or just subscriptions.

And speaking of making stuff, I made you guys this free printable:

That was going to be it, just because I thought it was funny, and it's apropos to my life somehow. There's always SOMETHING to chase. But then I just kept thinking of all the other Pride and Prejudice quotes I love (and that are actually in the book!).

And finally I could no longer resist, and I made all of these and put them in :

set one: romantic
set two: sassyAnd then they needed to go on t-shirts and mugs and jammies and whatnot, right? RIGHT?

So I put them in the Cafepress Shop, too:


I want to get the "I have not the pleasure of understanding you" mug so I can just sort of gesture to it while drinking my tea as my kids talk over one another at me.

So, that's that.

Happy birthday to our sweet, sweet Lulu. She really is an absolute joy.

And happy weekend, and happy advent to you! And Go Navy, Beat Army!

You might also enjoy . . .

How We Throw a Backyard Birthday PartyMurdered by Pirates is Good (a Princess Bride 10th birthday party)Happee Birthdae Betty (a Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone 11th Birthday Party)

Liturgical Living for Beginners: An Our Lady of Guadalupe Play Date, with help from me and CCC

This is a sponsored post. See my disclosure policy.

I had such fun last spring putting together a St. Patrick's Day play date that I decided to do another one . . . this time for the upcoming feasts of St. Juan Diego on December 9th and Our Lady of Guadalupe on December 12th.



Getting started with liturgical living in the home can feel like a really daunting task. It did for me, anyway. But this is a festive time of year, and a great time to invite a few friends over. I love liturgically-themed play dates. Just a couple other moms, their kids . . . a couple of snacks, an activity, and a book or movie about the saint. If you've never done ANY liturgical living in the home, this is a an excellent way to start.

Growing up in Southern California, I've always had a great love for Our Lady of Guadalupe. I remember girls coming to school with their hair in braids for the occasion. Is that a real thing? I don't know. The internet won't tell me. But it's been fun keeping up that tradition with my own girls. Here's 2012 . . .


Aww, look at tiny Anita!

But back to the party. I'm going to talk you through it step by step.


- the guests -Probably, you're going to want people to come to your party. So, you're going to want to invite them. I've done play dates like this for as few as three and as many as thirty kids. I think ideal is around six to ten kids. Evite is great for keeping track of people, but for something like this, I find a good old-fashioned email is just as good, maybe better. You can just type up the what, when, where and send it, or, if you're feeling fancy, you can make your own invitation image in Picmonkey, and email that.

 Or you can use this one . . .


If you right click on it, and save the image to your computer, you can then pull it up in Picmonkey and type in the text you want to add, save it again, then email it out.

Or ya know, just print it out, write on it with a pen, and hand it to people. Up to you.


- the craft - I like to have a little craft available to do as families are arriving. It can be a simple coloring page and some crayons . . . found here
found here

Or something a little more involved. Catholic Icing sells printable ornaments for all the advent saints, including Juan Diego and Our Lady of Guadalupe:
Or make your own tilma out of a paper grocery bag! We've done these, they turn out so cute.
Tissue paper flowers are great as a craft at the party for older kids, or if all your guests are little, you can make them ahead of time yourself for decoration. They come together quickly and are very festive and authentically Mexican.
- the snacks -Kids like snacks. Everyone likes snacks. In fact, the food is where I'm always tempted to get carried away. There are always so many cute ideas out there. But too many choices is overwhelming for little kids, and a lot of work for hostesses. Usually one beverage choice plus water, and a couple of food choices is plenty.

Mexican hot chocolate is very popular with my kids. The real thing is called champurrado and it is UH-mazing, but unless you've got a Mexican grocery store nearby, you're probably not going to be able to get the ingredients. It's also kind of complicated to make. But very, very tasty. If you want to cheat, you can just make regular powdered hot chocolate and put cinnamon in it. Kids will still think you are pretty awesome. If you want to feel better about cheating, you can get the Mexican kind of powdered hot chocolate. 

The traditional side to the chocolate is churros, which are a long, fried, donut-type pastry. They sell them frozen at grocery stores around here, and they come with a special little tube you can microwave them in, so they come out crunchy. Then you roll them in cinnamon and sugar.

If you don't want to invite a bunch of other people's kids over to your house and then hop them up on hot chocolate and sugar-covered donuts . . . you could always go with quesadillas. Kids love 'em.A make your own nacho bar is fun, with chips, beans, cheese, salsa, sour cream, and guacamole.- the entertainment -After snack time, I like to have some sort of saint-themed entertainment for the kids. We have quite a few of CCC of America's Saints and Heroes animated films, and they just so happen to have a perfectly lovely movie about St. Juan Diego and Our Lady of Guadalupe, which is only a half an hour . . . just the right length for younger liturgical year observers.
JUAN DIEGO: MESSENGER OF GUADALUPE is the true story of how the Blessed Mother chose a hero for a key role in a beautiful miracle that would united diverse peoples and change the course of history. In the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City the miracle of the tilma of Juan Diego may still be seen, just as it was seen by the bishop in 1531.If you don't already own this one you can order it (or any of the other CCC movies) now and get 30% plus free shipping when you use the code BLOGGER30They make great gifts for kids, grandchildren, godchildren, etc.

And SPEAKING of liturgical living, tomorrow is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (when Mary was conceived, not Jesus) and it's a Holy Day of Obligation, so get thee to church!

Here's how we usually celebrate that one:
A Little Feast of the Immaculate Conception and a Little About Feasts

In Which We Discover if I Really Meant it About Not Doing NFP

Mailbag time!

The Question:
Hi Kendra,

I find myself at a point where I am needing to sort of “vent” out some frustrations with NFP, and storing children’s clothing in a too “small” of a house. I went searching your blog for “storing clothes” and somehow found your post about NFP and that for some people it is a struggle. I read your post, and I totally get what you are saying there! I was always taught that it’s so “bonding” for a couple, and that “you only have to abstain for a few days a month, maybe a week” and “well, now that you’re breastfeeding, the Sympto-thermal method isn’t going to work so you should try Creighton” which led to like 8 months of abstaining and “yellow stamps” because my mucus was hard to get charted to find something to go on.

Fast forward (we had the 4 under four you referenced, starting with honeymoon baby), living in 5 homes in 8 years, multiple job changes, etc. We basically have 4 or 5 days each month now in the infertile “phase 3” stage to take advantage of. And that’s really regardless of how I’m actually feeling about the whole thing by that time of the month. And I learned later on that it seems the only people who are so enthused about NFP in general are those who had problems with infertility. And the whole “if you nurse your baby, you will space you babies…” was a bust for us. 2 months after having our first, I got my period, and she only nursed. 4 months after the birth of our first, we were pregnant with our second.

Anyway, I wondered about asking you about how you store things for all your kids, how you decide what to keep and what to toss, and how did you become so open to so many children… we are at 4, and our youngest will be 4 next month… Our oldest will be 8 next month. We abstain far too much and I’m at a spot in life where I’m getting really depressed about it. It’s so … nice… that we can most of the time sleep through the night. But when I see little babies at Mass, all cute and snuggly, and I see the world the way it is, I want to bring more babies in so we can raise them to help make things better… but I’m still conflicted in the night.

God bless your day,

Jennifer

The Answer:
Hey Jennifer,

I feel you on all of this. And there are no easy answers. We spent years trying and failing at NFP, and it was really disheartening . . .  although we did get quite a lot of lovely children out of it. But then we felt we had a real need to postpone, so we spent a year being serious about NFP and were able to be successful. As you saw in that post, I really did not like practicing NFP. Our reason for wanting to not be pregnant was that my husband didn't have a job. But, even so, we weren't in dire straights financially, and we had family we could call upon in an emergency, so eventually we decided that we would quit NFP even though my husband was still looking for a job. I got pregnant right away, but he was employed before baby Frankie was born. So, for us, it worked out quite well.

If our reasons for avoiding pregnancy had been my physical or mental health, or serious financial concerns, it would have been a different story, of course. But, for us, after that, we decided not to go back to NFP and just take babies as they came.

That philosophy was put to the test a bit lately though. I've always been able to count on ten months or so of breastfeeding infertility after each baby, which means my closest age gap is nineteen months. That's made our "come what may" strategy manageable. But then, I had baby number eight in July and got a period when she was SIX WEEKS old, despite cosleeping and nursing on demand.

I kept thinking c'mon baby, you had ONE job.

So there we were, trying to decide if our commitment to not doing NFP extended to the possibility of ending up with Irish twins. And I wasn't sure it did. We abstained for a while longer to see if it had been a fluke thing, and to figure out whether we were really ready to be open to another baby.

The answer to both questions ended up being a rather hesitating, "yes?"

I didn't get another period on schedule, and haven't gotten another since then, so my hope is that we will get some infertile time here after all. But I also think we and I could handle another baby if that happened. I just turned thirty-nine, so I figure the baby train IS going to stop sometime in the next few years. I wouldn't mind having another one or two before this part of my life is done.

When people ask how many kids we are going to have, I like to say, "All of them." I don't want to miss one. :)

But that only answers the emotional part of your question. Logistically, I save a LOT less stuff than I used to. I used to carefully sort and organize everything and save it for years and years only to not use it because seasons were off and/or the new or newER clothes people gave us were cuter and cleaner and more stylish. Also, my babies now don't need as many items as my first babies did because we do laundry every day, instead of once a week.

Now, when kids outgrow a size, if things are in really good shape and I have someone who will wear it within the next year or two, I'll hang onto it. Also a few sentimental items get saved. But, really, I get rid of almost everything. I donate it all, and figure we will be able to buy or find donations of clothes as we need them.

It helps that we just all keep MUCH less clothing than we used to. My kids each have around thirty items of clothing total. It means less clutter, and it's a lot less expensive than having a huge wardrobe.

Only you and your husband can know, of course, if you need to continue to avoid pregnancy. Being pregnant is hard on me and hard on my family, and I know some women have it much harder than I do on that front. Babies and kids are time consuming and expensive. But they're also really, really great. Not doing NFP is great. Having sex with your husband is great, and good for your marriage.

So, I'm still not doing NFP. I'll admit, I did think about it. I even found our old charts and stickers. But, if I'm going to err, I'd rather it be on the side of having too many kids than too few.

Good luck on all of this. Pray about it, and remember you can ask God to give you peace about it. That always helps me.

Cheers,
Kendra You might also enjoy . . .
Why I Don't Do NFPDear Newlywed, You're Probably Worried About the Wrong Thing Maybe We CAN'T Talk About NFP Without Giving Offense
Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor am I an official spokesperson for the Catholic Church. (You're thinking of this guy.) If you read anything on this blog that is contrary to Church teaching, please consider it my error (and let me know!). I'm not a doctor or an expert on anything in particular. I'm just one person with a lot of experience parenting little kids and a desire to share my joy in marriage, mothering, and my faith.

If you've got a question, please send it along to catholicallyear @ gmail . com . Please let me know if you prefer that I change your name if I use your question on the blog. p.s. I am WAY behind on my mailbag. Like, a month behind. Maybe two. Between keeping up the blog, writing for Blessed is She (my turn today), the printables and custom work at the Etsy shop, the mugs and t-shirts and pint glasses at the Cafepress shop, planning the fixing up of the house we bought, keeping the house we are trying to sell in a condition to be shown, the general care, feeding, and education of my children, and four birthdays in five weeks . . . I am fresh out of time to respond to emails. But if you wrote to me to ask a question, please know that I got it. I read it. I composed an answer to you in my head. But I haven't typed it up yet. It is my sincere intention to do so sometime in the near future.

A Few Things That Happened on Our Long Weekend

We are spending a lovely long weekend in San Diego at my parents' house, and it has been relaxing . . . yet productive. Mostly productive, I guess. I'm super bad at relaxing. But it was fun.

Here's a quick look at a few things that went down.

1. The New Liturgical Year starts today! So, Happy Catholic New Year to ya.

2. It was Thanksgiving. Turkey was had, Lord of the Rings was watched. We were thankful for things and wrote them on feathers.









3. The girls played dress up in the sequined recital outfits and faux fur capes of my youth, and Lulu admired Jack's old Hokey Pokey Elmo from a safe distance.



4. Speaking of Lulu, she also had a birthday! Lulu is two. She is just such a joy.



Since her birthday fell on Thanksgiving this year, we are having a little party for her next weekend. I asked her what kind of birthday party she wanted to have and she said, "Pied Pedjus" . . . which just goes to show how awesome she is. So, a Pride and Prejudice second birthday it shall be.

Those illustrations are slightly adapted from the Babylit Pride and Prejudice book, which is Lulu's favorite. I have every intention of having a small simple affair, but I have a history of getting carried away . . . so stay tuned.

5. We got together with Ashley of Between the Linens, and her sweet family. And a lovely time was had by all. But even though we are both bloggers, we have no photos to show for it. I guess we're livin' IRL-style, like this old lady . . .


6. The husband and I went on a date, just the three of us. We had sushi and saw the Hunger Games. The sushi was great, the baby was pretty good, the Hunger Games was kind of meh. I really liked the books when they came out, and enjoyed the first couple movies. But this one just missed the mark for me. The giant ocean of oil that appears from nowhere, stops just short of where it would be a danger to the characters, and then magically disappears? And it's not slippery and doesn't stick to shoes. That's not a thing.



And the Eventually Biting Monsters will bite you, but not right away.

I thought the love triangle between Katniss, Peeta, and Gale was presented in a very compelling way in the book. I liked that instead of choosing which man she liked better, it really came down to choosing between the two different people SHE was, when she was with them. I thought that was cool. But in the movie, she seems to just happen to end up with the guy she ends up with because of proximity. Which is less romantic.

7. Speaking of romance . . . Reign .



It's teenaged Mary Queen of Scots and her entourage and the Dauphin of France and his bastard brother. If you're looking to become very unproductive for a short time, go ahead and start it on Netflix.

Season one is really great (in a very soapy CW way, of course). The dresses are excellent, the romance is romantic and PG-13, and it's pretty darn historically accurate. You will then probably go ahead and watch season two afterwards. But when you do, remember that I tried to warn you that it was not romantic, and not in any way historically accurate. Also it seems to be alternately anti-Catholic and anti-Protestant, so, just anti-Christian? And, while it's still PG-13, there are some very tragic things that happen to Mary that are hard to watch.

It still has dresses.

I will probably watch season three whenever that happens.

And that's my honest opinion. But this is a sponsored post.
8. As I was already finished with Reign when I arrived in San Diego, I was able to complete a few projects I had had in the works, including a couple baby blankets that had been partially finished for weeks, and the plans for remodeling the new house (which we may or may not be able to do right away), and I put a few new things into the Cafepress shop at the request of you fine folks. You will now find Catholic quotes about coffee, and butterflies and Bible verses in there.


And there's an all new Toy Story version of the Guardian Angel prayer, in the Etsy shop only.


It's available in square or 8x10. I made it as a commission, see here to find out how to one made for you.

Have a beautiful Advent!

The Catholic All Year Quick Gift Guide for Catholics (and non-Catholics)

As someone somewhere in this blessed country is getting knocked unconscious over a discounted Keurig Machine, I plan to be observing Black Friday by continuing our family tradition of watching all of the Lord of the Rings movies (and none of the Hobbit movies) over Thanksgiving weekend and finishing up my Christmas shopping from the comfort of my iPad. So cozy.

In case you are also in a shopping mood, you might wish to check out . . .

Some books and toys we love:
OUR FAVORITE CHRISTMAS PICTURE BOOKSTHE TEN THINGS I'M GLAD MY KIDS GOT FOR CHRISTMASSpoiler alter, one of those ten things is Kiwi Crate, which my kids use and love (not sponsored,we pay for it. we just like it). There's a Black Friday deal, this week only, for 60% off your first month of any of the lines: Koala Crate, Kiwi Crate, Doodle Crate, or Tinker Crate. We get ALL of them. There are also individual Christmas craft kits available for 50% off. No promo codes needed, and if you shop through my affiliate link, I get a small referral fee at no cost to you. So, thanks!
Our Advent favorites:THREE REASONS I LOVE ADVENTAnd 'cause I can't stop (and I won't stop) on the Printable Prayers Shop at Cafepress, there's a bunch of new stuff over there. Here are the sections so far:Drinking with the Saints
Featuring quotes about drinking by saints and other Catholics on coasters, pint glasses, shot glasses, t-shirts, and more. (Hat tip to Sarah at Catholic Drinkie for the excellent quotes.) 
The Princess Bride
Featuring quotes from everyone's favorite movie (it IS everyone's favorite movie, right?) on prints, mugs, cups, bags, jewelry, pajamas, and more.
Wine Featuring quotes about wine by Hilare Belloc and Pope St. John XXIII on coasters, trivets, clocks, aprons, wine charms, and more.
Beer
The Official Catholic Blessing for Beer from the Rituale Romanum, which is a real thing that exists because Catholics are cool.

Defend Us in Battle
The St. Michael prayer in regular plus, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, Coast Guard, and Police Force versions, on shirts, mousepads, clipboards, water bottles, etc.. The Army version is awaiting the required approval from the official Cafepress Army fan page. :P Hopefully they should unfreeze all the Army stuff in the next couple of days.

Update: I am Official U.S. Army Fan Page Approved! See all the Army St. Michael stuff here. 
Ye Olde JPII Shoppe
JPII. 'Nuff said.
Plan of Life
Stuff to help you pray through the day: Morning Offerings, Grace Before and After Meals, Night Prayer, etc.
Advent Posters, cards, pillows, cups, etc, all for Advent.
Fairy Tale The fairy tale guardian angel prayer on sippy cups, onsies, pillows, and pillowcases, amongst other things.
Unfortunately, I can't sell the superhero or Star Wars stuff on Cafepress. It is, however, all still available in the Printable Prayers Etsy shop, where you can purchase it and do with it as you please, print and pillow-wise.
I'm happy to put existing prints from the Etsy shop, or the Printable Prayers Pinterest page on any items available from Cafepress. Just ask.
I can also put any of the new images from Cafepress in the Etsy Shop. Just ask.
If you'd like any quotes or prayers that I have yet to create, please place a custom order over on Etsy using this link. You'll receive the downloadable image made just for you to print as many times as you please, plus I'm happy to put it on stuff for you at Cafepress.
And, if you're shopping, please check out my lovely sponsors this month:
Hatch Prints has all new hand-painted and hand-lettered art prints for Advent, Christmas, and everyday. See the upper right corner of the blog for a sample of what you'll find over there.
Lilla Rose offers beautiful and functional hair clips and bands that actually stay in!
Happy shopping, and happy Advent, and Happy CATHOLIC New Year . . . don't forget Catholic New Year's Eve on Saturday!
click here to check out kiwi crate 

When There Is So Much to Fear

Mailbag time: What to do when it all seems like too much . . . (and if you make it to the bottom there's news and shopping, yay!)

The Question: 

Hi Kendra, I found you blog a new months ago and have so enjoyed going through your old posts and soaking up all the good advice! My husband and I recently got married and had our first little one on our 9 month wedding anniversary, so our family is very young. I know you tend not to write about politics or opinion pieces about current events (there's plenty of that out there) but I feel like I could really use some guidance in light of what's happening in our world. How do you stay hopeful in this world? I find myself feeling so sad and scared everyday, and even guilty for bringing such a beautiful, innocent baby into such a messed up world. I don't even know how to be proactive and make it better. I feel like a sitting duck at home with my baby. How do you handle that? I don't want my daughter to grow up being afraid, but there is so much to fear! I pray about it, a lot, which does help. Is there a question somewhere in there? How do you get past the crippling fear that something bad will happen to your babies? Do you have a favorite prayer? Thank you so much. Been a rough week. Annie

The Answer:

Hey Annie, and thanks.

It's a fair question.

And first things first, depression, and postpartum depression especially, are real things that can't just be shrugged off or pushed through. If you feel like you have more than everyday anxiety, please seek help from a professional. Many women have gone through this before you, and getting help . . . helps. But if it's just worry, I have some thoughts about that.

I used to be a worrier. Not so much about big, important world events, but I was constantly worried about control of little stuff like traffic and slow checkout lines who was thinking what, and all the little minutia. What changed it for me was reading this book about/by Mother Angelica. It's not even really a biography, just a collection of quotes and insights. Reading it, I was floored by her faith and trust. How she really did trust God to take care of her and how that gave her an incredible boldness in all her endeavors. I wanted that freedom and confidence she had.

I realized, that if I was worried, what that really meant was that I didn't trust that God was really there, involved in the details of my life. So I started praying for the gift of faith and hope and trust.

It happened that we were going on a trip to Italy shortly thereafter and I got to put my new resolution to the test. We were supposed to board a train from Rome to Venice and wanted to squeeze in one last church visit to St. Paul Outside the Walls, and we cut it too close. My dad had stayed at the train station to watch the luggage and had loaded it all onto the train. My mom jumped on board, but Jim and I had the kids and they closed the doors right in front of us and the train pulled away. And there we were. I had the train tickets in hand, bought in the US, nonrefundable and nonchangeable, and that's it. Husband, thank God, and four little kids and a pregnant belly, but no suitcases, no passports, nothing.
And in that moment, I knew I would normally panic. But somehow, I didn't. Somehow I knew that however it went down, it would be okay.

And it was.

They didn't have to, but they put us on the next train, and they radioed the train we missed to tell them that my parents did in fact have tickets, and they bought us a pizza. It was lovely.

And now, I can really, honestly say, I am not worried about stuff.

It's not that I think bad things couldn't happen to me. I know that they could. We've just taken a risk on a crazy huge fixer upper house. It could be a dream or it could be a disaster. I understand that. But I also know that no matter what happens with money or houses, I am a child of God and I can be a Christian in any circumstance.

If I imagine the worst, the absolute worst scenarios . . . my husband dies and we become destitute, I get wrongfully arrested and my children are taken from me, I have to watch one of them suffer through a long illness, they ALL die in a car accident. Clearly, there's no human way I would be able to handle any of those things. But when I read the lives of the saints and I read how they faced terrible tragedy and kept their faith and got through it with God's help, I know the same would have to be true for me. I don't understand HOW, but I believe it would be true.

I know that as long as my priorities are right I can find joy and serve God no matter what happens to me, no matter what happens to the world.

So, how can I really be scared of anything in life? And, for a Catholic, death is nothing to fear at all. (As long as I get myself to confession on a regular basis.)




As for kids, I firmly believe that a troubled world is all the more reason to keep having babies. They bring our family so much joy.

We were sitting in the living room the night after the terrorist attacks in Paris, saying our family rosary. The big kids were being good and sitting in a seat as per our family rules, but we often let the two and four year olds just run around as long as they aren't too noisy. And the two of them came up with this game, rolling over each other on the carpet. It was just the cutest, most hilarious thing. And the rest of us are all trying to continue saying the rosary through our shoulder-shaking laughter. It was a really beautiful moment. And it made me so grateful to have this font of joy in my home, at a sad time in the world.

And it's my hope that each of these little people will grow up and go out into the world and make it a little better. A little less dark.

So, I guess my advice is, read the lives of the saints. Ask God to increase your faith. If you feel attacked by despair, say the St. Michael prayer. Remember St. Padre Pio's advice to Pray, Hope, and Don't Worry. Listen to Jesus and St. JPII who said again and again, "Be not afraid." And remember, when it seems like you can't do it yourself, that's because you can't. But God can.

Cheers,
Kendra


Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor am I an official spokesperson for the Catholic Church. (You're thinking of this guy.) If you read anything on this blog that is contrary to Church teaching, please consider it my error (and let me know!). I'm not a doctor or an expert on anything in particular. I'm just one person with a lot of experience parenting little kids and a desire to share my joy in marriage, mothering, and my faith.

If you've got a question, please send it along to catholicallyear @ gmail . com . Please let me know if you prefer that I change your name if I use your question on the blog.

And now, from the more stuff I never thought I'd be doing file . . . Sarah wrote to ask me if I could resize the Blessing for Beer print so she could put it on a pint glass for her husband for Christmas, which is a really great idea. And I totally could have done that. But we are taking this week off of school. So I spent the day making a Printable Prayers Shop at Cafepress.

I made this stuff:



And much more, including posters, framed prints, and baby blankets in the most popular designs from


I can't believe I didn't think to do it before! Anyway, if there's a particular print of mine you'd like on something (pajamas, computer bag, dog shirt) just let me know. After all, 'tis the season for shutting the kids outside and trying to get some stuff done.

Update:  Argh. I licensed the little Star Wars guys from the artist who created them, and got permission in writing from PicMonkey that I was allowed to sell items with the superhero overlays. But CafePress flagged them as potentially in violation of copyright and all orders of that stuff is pending approval. I've pleaded my case via email. But we shall see. The stuff without little guys is all available. And you can still get the prayers themselves on Etsy. Sorry for the trouble and delay. Sir Topham Hatt would be so disappointed.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving, America!

So I Hear There's This Movie . . . Star Wars?

It's supposed to be a big deal. ;)


It's kind of all the small people in my house can talk about. Overshadowing even THE BIG MOVE . . . on team kid, at least.

They have watched the trailer only four hundred and sixty seven times.

Gus and Bobby have November and December birthdays just two weeks apart, and all the same interests, and all the same friends, so they've always shared a birthday party. 
We are a dedicated backyard birthday party family, but with the movie opening so close to their birthdays, they really, REALLY wanted to go to the movie with their friends. But those friends are spread out all over LA, so when we have parties, we invite whole families, which minimizes the driving burden. There was no way I was going to ask moms of many to drive one or two of their kids across town to drop them off at our house so we could take them to a movie, then have them turn around and come pick them up a couple hours later. I know I wouldn't be willing to do two hours of driving so my kids could go to a three hour long birthday party.
Then Bobby had THE BIG IDEA.
Bobby: Why can't we go around in the van and and pick everybody up?Me: Because that would take the whole amount of time for a party.Bobby: What if the party was IN THE VAN? Could we do that?Me: Do people have parties in vans?Jim: Yes, but they're called bachelor parties.
So, we're not having a bachelor party. But we are going to have the party in the van, I guess. It is a great van. I'll let you know in a few weeks if there's a reason people don't usually throw eighth and tenth birthday parties in their vans.
AND, since Star Wars is all my kids have been thinking about, I decided to make a whole batch of Star Wars printables for the shop, just in time for you to get your Christmas shopping done before Advent, if you're into that sort of thing.
It's possible I have gotten a little carried away.
Here's what's available . . . 
1. The Guardian Angel Prayer
in square or 8x10
2. Minimalist Quote Set 

3. Tatooine Morning Offering and A Galaxy Far Far Away Act of Contrition


Appropriate for older kids, I'm told by my older kids, in 8x10s or squares
4. Princess Leia and Han Solo Quotes

5. Yoda Quotes


6. Buddy Quote Set


square, but can easily be cropped to 8x10
These can be printed at home on your printer. Or you can visit tinyprints, mpix, or Shutterfly to get them made into prints, posters, throw pillows, mugs, candles, Christmas stockings, etc.
I actually made six of those square quotes, because the kids kept coming up with more quotes they wanted, but Etsy will only let you upload five files per listing. So, I figured I'd give you number six here on the blog, for free!

And since that's totally random, I also made this Little Morning Offering for you guys, also free, and not available in the shop.
(BB-8 is supposed to be an "O." It should be read O God, I offer you . . . )
 As with all my printables, you are welcome to save the images to your computer for your own personal use. You may print the images and / or upload them and have prints made for your personal use or to give as gifts. First click on the image to bring it up in a new window, then right click on the image to save it to your computer. You may use my images on your blog, just please link back to my blog. If you would like to sell my images, please contact me first.

For LOTS MORE free printable prayers, check out my Pinterest board.

And for custom images, old favorites, and prayers, quotes, scripture, and catechism, available as high quality digital downloads, !
You might also enjoy . . . The Force is Strong With These Guys (but you already knew that)DIY Chewbacca Sleepsack Mod and a Homemade X-Wing Bomber
So that's that for now. Nothing to report, house-wise. Enjoy your Sunday!

Here We Go . . .

Winners of the Advent giveaway are at the bottom of the post . . . 

Well, I said I wasn't going to believe it was ours until I had the keys in hand.


But I'm still not sure I do believe it.

It's been quite a journey so far, and we're only just getting started. I'm going to try to not turn this blog into This Old House, but I can't make any promises.

Mostly, I'm thinking I should see if my wedding dress still fits, because I'm going to need it to properly Miss Havisham it up around my new tumbledown mansion.


Are you ready for ALL the (before) pictures?


There she is. Built in 1920.

Nine bedrooms, built for a family of . . . three. But now we're going to fill it up.

Is that a tennis court on the left? Yes, yes it is. I don't currently know how to play tennis. (But if I had ever learned I should have been a great proficient.) Is that a cabana behind the pool? *A* cabana? What are we, savages? That is two cabanas behind the pool.

Living room:

Dining room:


Butler's pantry with original hardware and warbly glass (butler not included):


 Original leaded glass windows:


And original light fixtures and fireplaces:



The kids will share the two biggest bedrooms. The husband and I will be moving into the servants' quarters, which seems appropriate somehow. We're going to turn it into a little suite, with a bedroom and an office, and . . . a chapel.


Because how could this room not be a chapel?

So, basically, the photos are too kind. It's a beautiful house, but it's in quite a state of disrepair. Fixing it up for us is going to be the work of months and years. I do like a project. We'll see if I still feel the same way this time next year.

It's a very, very big house. Nearly three times as big as our current house. It's bigger than we were looking for. And I do worry I'll lose my children in it. But this was the only house we saw in months of looking that was in our price range and big enough to comfortably fit a family of ten. Twelve when my parents are with us.

I do love it. Dead rats and leaky roof and dingy kitchen and all.

And the fact that it's ours after all the false starts and setbacks and crazy banking regulations, really makes it feel meant to be.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your prayers.

We're moving the first round of boxes this weekend, but we don't figure we'll be able to actually move in for a month or so, until after we do a few repairs.

-------------

And now, I owe you some winners. For all the details on these Advent resources, see the original Advent post here or click on the title to see them for yourself. If you won, please email me at cathlicallyear@gmail.com and tell me what you won so you can get your prize before Advent begins! If I haven't heard back from you by Monday, I'll pick a new winner.

1. Light for the World: A Catholic Kid's Guide to Advent and Christmas 
 Mountain Mama

2. Waiting in the Word: a Mother's Advent Journey
 Susan Moser

3. Maple Leaf Liturgical Living Planner
 Sarah

4. Blessed is She Advent 2015 Journal **Digital Download**

 Mel

5. The Nativity Characters in Cross Stitch
Debbie Affleck

6. Elizabeth

7. Nativity Advent Calendar to Print and Color
 Marie

8. Our Family's Jesse Tree: 25 Jesse Tree Ornaments with Templates, Devotions, and Printable Activities
 Beatriz

9. Couples Advent Devotional
 Lisa Burek

10. Printable Prayers Advent
 Jacqueline Meister
 Jessica
 Pearlann
Kristen Rabideau

Why My Daughters Are Not Altar Servers

Mailbag time! A few weeks ago, I argued that learning traditional homemaking skills in an all-girl environment was beneficial for my girls. I'm back today to support something for just the boys . . . 

the question:

I had a question about your kids and altar serving. I noticed that only your boys are altar servers. I'm assuming that is because that's what your home parish allows, but out of curiosity, if you were members of a parish that allowed girls to become altar servers, would you allow them? Or stick to traditional custom of having altar boys?  Do your girls ever express interest in altar serving, and if so, what do you tell them?

Sincerely,
Claire

the answer:


Dear Claire,

You're right, my girls don't altar serve. It isn't the tradition at our parish, but even if it were, it's a privilege that I don't mind reserving for boys.

Not because my girls wouldn't do a good job, or wouldn't enjoy it, but mostly just because once women get involved in something, we tend to kind of take it over, then boys and men don't feel so obligated or interested in doing it. Altar serving is something I want my boys to want to do, and to feel pride about, and to feel necessary for. I hope it will help them respond if they have a vocation to the priesthood.

Female altar servers are allowed by canon law, but not required, or necessarily preferred . . .

From the point of view of liturgical law, an official interpretation of Canon 230, Paragraph 2, of the Code of Canon law on the possibility of delegating certain liturgical offices led to a 1994 letter from the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Sacraments clarifying that girls may serve at the altar. But bishops are not bound to permit them to do so, nor could the episcopal conference limit the bishop's faculty to decide for himself.

A further clarifying letter published in 2001 said priests are not compelled to have girls serve at the altar, even when their bishops grant permission.

The 1994 letter states: "It will always be very appropriate to follow the noble tradition of having boys serve at the altar. As is well known, this has led to a reassuring development of priestly vocations. Thus the obligation to support such groups of altar boys will always continue."

The letter also recommends to bishops to consider "among other things the sensibilities of the faithful, the reasons which would motivate such permission and the different liturgical settings and congregations which gather for the Holy Mass."

Therefore the Holy See's recommendation is to retain as far as possible the custom of having only boys as servers. But it leaves to the bishop the choice of permitting women and girls for a good reason and to the pastor of each parish the decision as to whether to act on the bishop's permission.

-Father Edward McNamara, professor of liturgy at the Regina Apostolorum Pontifical Athenaeum.
Allowing girls to serve on the altar is a choice good Catholic pastors and families are free to make. I would not argue that this is a doctrinal issue. The fact that a pope who is now a saint approved of it, and it hasn't been reversed by subsequent popes, shows that the Church doesn't consider this issue to have serious doctrinal implications.



I also wouldn't argue that female altar servers pave the way for women's ordination, since the magisterium has been very clear that women priests are not going to happen. Ever.

The papal declaration in "Ordinatio Sacerdotalis" that the Church has no power to ordain women is no mere statement of opinion but, as confirmed by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, an exercise of the gift of infallibility and therefore binding.

But I just don't find it necessary. In general, I am rather offended by the concept that in order for a woman to be empowered, she must stop doing women's things and do men's things instead. It's a misunderstanding of our dignity as women and our place in the world God created for men and women to share.

Being a man isn't superior to being a woman. Being a father isn't superior to being a mother. Being a priest isn't superior to being a nun. They are different, but equal in purpose and dignity and importance. I have no interest in devaluing traditional women's roles and suggesting that women can have purpose only in trying to be men.



I think what we're really missing at most parishes is a good way for young women (and adult women) to be involved in a helpful and fulfilling way in the life of the parish, like the old altar societies. Let's bring those back!

My mom is part of one that cleans and decorates the church, I'd love to see something like that as an option at more parishes.

We're actually particularly lucky that our church is one of the historic California Missions, and has an active ladies' organization that gives tours and whatnot, and also sells coffee and donuts after Mass. Betty is a (the) junior member of the group, and she really enjoys getting to sell donuts with the ladies after Mass. (I'm still wrangling too many little ones to participate, so it's just Betty and the old ladies.)

Blessed Sacrament Church: Fr. Keating with the Altar Society 1956

Altar serving is a beautiful, meaningful thing. It is more beautiful and meaningful than selling donuts. But selling donuts IS fun and useful. Anything one does in such close proximity to the Holy Eucharist as altar servers are would have to be especially important. But serving the needs of the parish in other ways is still service, and that's what I hope my kids will be concerned with: How they can be useful where they are needed, not how prominent or ceremonial the position might be.

If altar serving is a place to foster future priestly vocations, and I hope it is, and if adolescent and teen-aged boys are more likely to want to participate if it's an all-male endeavor, and I think they are, then it is something that I'm willing that my daughters would sacrifice a bit to protect. So, that's how our family has chosen to handle it.

Cheers,
Kendra


Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor am I an official spokesperson for the Catholic Church. (You're thinking of this guy.) If you read anything on this blog that is contrary to Church teaching, please consider it my error (and let me know!). I'm not a doctor or an expert on anything in particular. I'm just one person with a lot of experience parenting little kids and a desire to share my joy in marriage, mothering, and my faith.

If you've got a question, please send it along to catholicallyear @ gmail . com . Please let me know if you prefer that I change your name if I use your question on the blog.

How to Advent, in three steps

Advent is less than two weeks away . . . are you ready, TO WAIT?

Advent is a beautiful time of year. But for those of us attempting to live the liturgical year in our homes (at least a bit) it can be a tricky season to get right. Sometimes it feels like whatever we are doing is somehow not enough and too much all at the same time.

A couple years back, I detailed EXACTLY what we do for Advent in our home:
Advent: How We Try to Celebrate Things in Their Proper Season Without Feeling Like Total JerksBut exactly how we do it might not work for you. So this year, I want to share the ideas behind our traditions, so hopefully you can find a way to make Advent work in your family, and also let you know about some really great resources, that just might help make it happen.



1. Don't Christmas Yet

This is the key, I think. However you handle Advent in your home, it should feel different than Christmas. For us, we have different decorations for Advent, and we have different music, and we avoid specifically Christmas TV and movies and treats.

We have family traditions that are unique to Advent and different than Christmas, that way, we're not sick of Christmas before it's even arrived.

It's all very counter-cultural, but my kids are on board. We make sure they understand that even though almost everyone else is doing Christmas now, TIERNEYS wait until Christmas actually arrives to do Christmas. This is because TIERNEYS respect the natural order of things and are awesome.

2. Pray and Prepare

Advent isn't Lent, but it really is like Lent in a lot of ways. It should feel like a time of preparation. Many of us will be preparing our homes to receive guests at Christmas, which is a great way to focus, but even if no one is coming over, Advent is a great time for sprucing up the house.

More importantly, it's a great time for focusing on adding a bit more prayer to your family's daily routine.

The Christmas Anticipation Prayer, or St. Andrew's Prayer, is traditionally recited fifteen times per day from the Feast of St. Andrew on November 30th, until Christmas.

Hail and blessed be the hour and moment In which the Son of God was born Of the most pure Virgin Mary, at midnight, in Bethlehem, in the piercing cold. In that hour vouchsafe, I beseech Thee, O my God, to hear my prayer and grant my desires,  [here mention your request]
through the merits of Our Saviour Jesus Christ, and of His blessed Mother. Amen.

Our family does a Christmas Novena. Many families do a Jesse Tree.

Maybe you're just starting out with family prayer. Advent would be a great time to just try adding an Our Father to your bedtime routine. AND maybe one Christmas Anticipation Prayer? That "in the piercing cold" part always makes me shiver.

3. Have a Plan, and Be Flexible

Real life very often gets in the way of liturgical living. And real life is particularly invasive around the holidays. Party invitations, extra work and school commitments, out of town visitors, or out of town visiting, can all throw a wrench in our best intentions for a calm and recollected Advent.

If you're traveling and staying with family, and scheduling and traditions aren't yours to set, it really might not be possible to avoid a full on Christmas blitz before the big day arrives.

And that's okay.

We have lots of family traditions and set plans for how we'll observe Advent. I know we won't always get to all of them every day or even every year, but they are still worth having and trying. Even a little Advent is better than none at all.

And when we are in someone else's home, we just focus on being gracious guests. I'm pretty sure that's how Mary would handle it.

Now, here are a few resources to help you live a prayerful Advent in your home. And because it's the season of giving, I get to give one of each away to you guys. To enter, leave a comment on this post telling me something you plan to do in your home for Advent, and which of these resources might be useful to you.

1.  Light for the World: A Catholic Kid's Guide to Advent and Christmas


Written and illustrated for your entire family, this softcover book explains Catholic traditions and feast days that we celebrate throughout the seasons of Advent and Christmas. For the rest of the year, there's Gifts From Our Father, a guide for families through the liturgical year, great for couples figuring out how to teach their children about the faith, the Saints and how to pray.

2. Waiting in the Word: a Mother's Advent Journey



Nell, Whole Parenting Family, Laura, Mothering Spirit, and Nancy, Do Small Things with Love, have come together to make this great bundle: a Scripture study, a companion journal, and a lectio devina bookmark you can keep in your Bible.

Here's the gist of the study:
Each week of Advent tackles a different comment challenge we face this time of year: Materialism, Loneliness, Fear and Despair. It is our hope that through this study and the Holy Scripture, God will show you a better way and move your heart to Generosity, Communion, Love and Joy.

They even have a Facebook group you can join to walk through the season with other moms.

You can purchase this great Advent collection of goodness by clicking through to here.

3. Maple Leaf Liturgical Living Planner


Thirteen months will get you from this Advent straight through to the next!

 - monthly view includes Catholic liturgical year feasts and seasonal dates as determined by the USCCB
- weekly view includes scripture readings for Sundays and holy days of obligation under the Roman Rite Catholic Church
- weekly view includes psalm quotes for each week from that Sunday's psalm reading

4. Blessed is She Advent 2015 Bundle


In our Advent 2015 Bundle, you receive:
Advent Reflection + JournalJesse Tree Calendar (28 hand-lettered + hand painted cards to celebrate the season)Either as a gift or for yourself, this bundle will truly help you prepare the way for the Lord.

The cards are really, really gorgeous. And unlike any Jesse Tree set I've seen before.

5. The Nativity Characters in Cross Stitch




I've shared Nancy's cross stitch patterns before, and I love them all. This one comes as a single PDF. All 10 characters are on the same pattern, but you could easily split this up and create several different round ornaments for your Christmas tree–one with the Holy Family, one of the Shepherds, one of the kings and one for each angel.  There are lots of possibilities here.
You can probably see it in the image above, but there is an inscription at the bottom of this pattern.  It is Luke 2:11 and read, “Today in the town of David a savior has been born to you, he is Christ the Lord.”

You can get it HERE for $3.

6.

This digital book contains everything you need to add the Jesse Tree to your own family’s Advent- just add the tree! Included are a brief description and history of the Jesse Tree, supplies list, Bible readings for each day, and 24 3-D printable Jesse Tree ornaments- one for each day of December leading up to Christmas (in B&W and digitally colored versions)!

For each day there is a two page spread containing the title of the person/event, their symbol, a difficulty rating for the craft activity, an approximate amount of time to assemble, the Bible reading for that day and step by step instructions for assembling your 3-D ornament.

7. Nativity Advent Calendar to Print and Color


I’m so excited about this project because is something my (and your) family can enjoy without hours of laborious crafting. That’s right, print it, color it and either set it all up as a full Nativity set right away or add one piece each day of Advent.
You can get the entire 24 page PDF ready to be printed and colored HERE for $5.

8.  Our Family's Jesse Tree: 25 Jesse Tree Ornaments with Templates, Devotions, and Printable Activities

 This printable eBook contains over 80 pages of detailed ornament templates, daily scripture readings (with links to full text), devotions, coloring pages, and family-friendly activities inspired by the scripture to help your family count down the days of Advent in a spiritual way. At the end of the book you'll find instructions with photos on how to create the felt tree.

9. Couples Advent Devotional 





Advent is a time for preparation, this advent take time as a couple to reflect on the daily gospel readings. This devotional offers you daily reflections, contemplations, and prayers for every day of advent. Begin a journey of praying as a couple, and enrich your faith life this advent.

10. Printable Prayers Advent

I've gotten requests to make some Advent printables, so here ya go . . .


It's good advice for kids, and grownups too. On white. Or red.


The Christmas Anticipation Prayer. If you're going to say it fifteen times a day, it might as well be nice to look at, right? In red. Or purple.


O come, o come Emmanuel. It's what Advent is all about. On chalkboard. Or white.

Whew! That's all of it. Please leave a comment sharing something you plan to do to keep Advent this year, and which (any or all) of these Advent resources would help you do it. Winners will be announced ON THE BLOG  on Friday.

You might also enjoy . . .
Our Favorite Family Read-Alouds for Advent Keeping Advent: Our Family's Traditions