Kory M. Shrum's Blog, page 31

How to Get Writing Done Despite the Hellishly Busy Holiday Season #amwriting

Nathaniel Hawthorne once complained (according to my crazy-haired unkempt professor in college that is), that he could never write in summer. He could only sit down and get the work done once winter rolled around and he was cold, sad, and trapped in his house for months on end.


And I must admit, as winter rolls into Michigan early, I really can feel the calming affects of the landscape.






So don't be afraid to curl up with your laptop under some blankets, hot drink in hand, and get the work done. The real danger of course is the holidays, right? All the shopping must be done and ALL the family gets together to eat excessively like the Old Country Buffet on 32x fast forward--good times! (?)  

And with all that going on it can be hard to carve out that time for yourself to get your writing done. (Don't lie. NANOWRIMO ends in 10 days and then you won't write again until Jan 1, when you make a resolution to "write more" purely out of guilt. I should know!)
Instead, maybe try to be consistent instead. Stephen King says he writes 2000 words a day everyday. Even on his birthday. But unfortunately, many loved ones simply don't understand your compulsion to write. So here are some ideas for carving out time to write this holiday season:

1) Go to the bathroom--for a really long time. We eat some weird &^$% during the holiday. It will seem totally normal if you go to the bathroom and lock the door for hours. And it might be the only way to get family members and children to get off your back.
2) Get sick.
'Tis the season to get sick. Why not lie and say you are so that you have an excuse to stay in bed all day--with your computer of course! And when someone comes to check on you just 1) pretend to be asleep 2) start coughing uncontrollably 3) get all pathetic and weepy or 4) all of the above.

3) Ride the tryptophan wave.
If sometimes you confuse your loved ones with walking garbage disposals, use that to your advantage! After all, it goes in cycles--eat ALL THE THINGS--naps all around--EAT ALL THE THINGS--etc. So your goal should simply be to get on a slightly different schedule. Pick at your food and pretend to have an upset stomach if you must (see Tip #1)...and once everyone falls asleep write like mad! And when they wake up, eat like crazy and nap yourself. Anyone with infants should understand this kind of timing.

Anyway, I'm wishing everyone a super productive holiday season. Also, if you haven't entered my audiobook giveaway yet, there is still time! Get the goods here!

“My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.” #Addiction

“My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.”

--Jack Kerouac

I am a very passionate person, so when I care about things, I tend to care about them intensely. Consequently, when I want something, I want it just as intensely. An addictive personality can be described as "a particular set of personality traits that make an individual predisposed to addictions. Addictive behaviors are defined by the "excessive, repetitive use of pleasurable activities to cope with unmanageable internal conflict, pressure, and stress" (Wikipedia).

Both of my parents and numerous family members have addiction problems, so I feel l need little evidence beyond this to know that I inherited this trait. Furthermore, it is believed that while not all those with the predisposition for addiction will develop such an addiction, those with "severe childhood distress" are significantly more likely to become addicts themselves.

So here is the thing: I have conquered every addiction I've ever had with one exception.

I am currently the healthiest I've ever been. I have stability and peace which I dreamed of and prayed for during my "severe childhood distress"--something that will pull me out of the darkness and despair that I'm prone too.

But there feels like something is missing. Like any addict I feel that desire and need for the extreme and excessive indulgence, even knowing it is bad for me. Even knowing that I am risking everything I've worked so hard for, just because I'm desperate to scratch this itch that I've carried my whole life. And I've found myself tempted by old destructive habits that I thought were long in the past. 

So this brings me to my question. Is "passion" by nature unhealthy? Is it--because it is by nature 'excessive'--naturally unbalanced? Is it better to walk "the middle way" as the good 'ol Buddha says, or should one always indulge their passion because life is short, etc.

This idea is what I currently struggle with. I want to be stable and happy and have more peace and contentment in my life than either of my parents experienced. But I am also naturally inclined to the excessive, the unbalanced, the reckless, and extreme. 

So knowing this about myself, what is a girl to do?

The #Zen Art of #Writing #NaNoWriMo

I come across a lot of zen Buddhism stuff when I do my random Google searches (you know those ones that started with a simple question like "what kind of gun would my protagonist have" and ends with two hours on YouTube watching the Hunger Games trailer or a few episodes of Bad Lip Reading (Twilight FTW!).  I'm not complaining--after all that is probably how you ended up here!

I'm just saying that one of the concepts that I came across in some  random Buddhist readings is the idea of sitting with your pain or your uncertainty. That instead of trying to get away from it, you push more deeply into it.

Kind of like when you have an itch that you can't scatch. If you only think 'oh my god! Scratch it! Scratch it!" It itches more and drives you crazy. But if you really focus on it without trying to scratch, the impulse kind of goes away. And supposedly, from a similar random Buddhist reading when you sit with this discomfort, that is when you start to heal. Because it is inherent in us anyway.

So I'm connecting this idea to my writing--and my life. I feel like I do a great deal of healing when I write. My stories though told about another fictitious person are my stories. And that by pushing further into the pain (because let's be honest: writing can be hard and frustrating and tiresome!) I can find what I am really looking for.

So instead of giving up on the writing or letting myself get blocked and frustrated, I should push deeper into that discomfort--and see where that takes me.

This #Mondayblogs: A Day in the Life of a #Writer #amwriting

So this will be my first journal entry that is actually quite like a journal entry. Prepare yourself for the feels.

No one likes Mondays and I am no exception. Also, I've been eating an abundance of cheese lately (it's a comfort food--so shoot me), and so I've had a perpetual runny nose and stuffy head today. I woke up early because I did not get as much grading done as I needed to, so I literally laid in bed until 1:15PM, grading essays and recording those grades in my gradebook (for those of you who don't know, we do that electronically now--so there was also a laptop involved, in case you were picturing me under a mound of blankets and papers only).
Then I was trying to hide the fact that I had not showered, washed my face or in anyway had made myself presentable for work (I had 20 minutes to get out of the door between grading and my class that started at 2:10)--so I pulled half my hair up in a bun and flat-ironed the bottom half...this gave the very misleading impression that I had spent more than the 2 minutes on my hair that I did.
I also spruced up my outfit which was really nothing more than jeans and a sweater by wearing a REALLY nice scarf and earrings--is this what the magazines mean by accessorizing? "Oh hey, you are really dirty! No worries girl--big sunglasses and nice gloves for you gurrrrl). 
Class was good and quick--the best kind. And I got home early. But instead of getting into bed, I turned into a switch board operator. No sooner did I end one unexpected phone call and answer another, did a third call come in. A friend was having an equally bad day and needed a hug so I told her to come on over. Then I put her on the phone with the other friend (switchboard operator, remember?) and made hot cocoa for us both and built a fire in our wood-burning fireplace.
What is better than a fire and hot cocoa on a cold snowy evening pray tell? Maybe only spaghetti made with cheesy, vodka sauce maybe. (yes, more cheese, I know. And yes, my nose is still running like crazy). I ate the kale salad out of guilt. Then I checked my online courses to make sure those students were doing OK too.

Then here I am, journaling for the day so that I may keep up with my November challenge, while my lovely partner is in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. (You da best, babe! Oh and speaking of which, have you guys read her latest blog post? It's so good!) 
And what will happen after this? Well I still need to make my word count for the evening and practice French before my lesson tomorrow. Also, I need to take the morbidly obese pug for a walk in the chilly, snowy night before coming back to my lovely fire. 
Is that too much to ask? ;)

Kory

#Audible #Giveaway: Showin' the Love

Week 2 complete of my November, journalling/blogging challenging! :)


I am so happy that I've completed my second week of blog posts that I thought we should celebrate! So today's post is a giveaway!  Yay prizes! Yay funs!

Many of you know already that Hollie Jackson and I are working on completing the recording of Dying by the Hour, the sequel to Dying for a Living . So in honor of that I want to give away more audiobooks, in order to show my love, but also get you as pumped as I am about the sequel's release.

So please enter the giveaway below and win ALL THE THINGS.

Also, I just want to thank everyone who have been reading and commenting for the last two weeks. You guys rock! I've felt so encouraged in this little challenge of mine and you guys are totally making this fun on a bun.


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Don't Think That!

So recently it came to my awareness that I manifested something that I had thought about. Not exactly, "wished" for, but considered in great deal and lo and behold, a couple of years later, voila! 

This realization got me thinking about thoughts in general and how our thoughts create the world we live in--very new-agey-*&^% here but bear with me.

The following statements are true about perception: (perception (n.): "a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression."

1) Perception is subjective.  (A good day for the fox is a bad day for the rabbit and vice versa.)

2) People act/behave within their environments based on their perception.
       (I believe I can have this job; I applied for it. I believe I can't have this job; I did not apply for it.)

3) Perception can be changed.
       (Who hasn't heard "Be positive" and tried it to varying degrees of success?).


I know this is common sense for many people, but for me, I am just beginning to realize that my perception of the world, creates my world. I can already hear the realists out there groaning about the "real" world and how there is only one way. But my current, highly subjective perception is that the world is so large and strange and complex that it is actually a multitude of realities--and you can choose which reality you want to live in. If I feel grateful and positive, I live in a positive, plentiful world. If I think everyone is an asshole and we will never get our shit together--then there is a jerk at every corner, behind every steering wheel, and in every political office.

So I've been thinking about ways in which I negatively assess my world and maybe how I can make it better by changing my perception:

1) I speak very negatively to myself. I am my own worse critic. Whether it be my outfit, a bad hair day, or a poor writing session--I tend to blame myself rather than encourage/forgive/accept. I wonder how different my world would be if I changed this perception?

2) I think too often of how things "should" be. This is partially a social, construct, I know. But like many people, I live in a world of comparisons. I should be this, I should have that. At my age, I should,...lots of assessment and judgment rather than acceptance. I wonder how different my world would be if I changed my perception of what should be?

3) I worry far too much about the future rather than the present. Like many people, I tend to operate in the future or past tense. I have a hard time being right here, right now. I worry about all the things that could happen or where I would like to be in 5, 10, 20 years. But what if I changed my perception and tried not to value the future, which may never exist, but the present. How different would my world be if right now was the most important moment of my life?

And what about your perceptions? Do they help you? Hinder you? How different would your world be if you changed them?

Doing It and Doing It and Doing It Well #Write More #NaNoWriMo

I learn a great many things from my students. By observing them I have noticed how most people detest coming to school. Regardless if they are kids or adults, it seems that most do not want to attend class unless they have a clear motivation to do so.
I understood this behavior from my own experience in high school and college. If I had a friend in the class who I wanted to see, I was more likely to attend. Looking forward to seeing someone was motivation enough for me to go to that class. In fact, I had a particularly amorous friend in high school who would only go to a class if it had a particular (or several) cute boys in it.
This concept of adding something "positive" to a task that you dread seems to also resemble the gym-buddy system that so many swear by. Apparently people are more likely to work out if they have a friend they are going to work out with--I have had only mixed results with this concept myself.
So how can I take this lesson and apply it to my writing:
1) Have special pleasures/bonuses associated with writing.
If you only get to see that friend when you come to class, or when you workout, but you really like that friend, then it stands to reason that you are more likely to engage in that task in order to seek that fulfillment.  So maybe you only get to listen to a kind of music, or eat a specific snack food, or go to your favorite coffee shop, or <insert positive affirmation here> when writing--that will certainly encourage you write more often.
2) Use the "buddy-system" for accountability. Like with the gym, having a writing "buddy" is a good way to keep yourself on track. It can be a writer's/critique group or simply another writer friend who you do sprints with. (Short chunks of time devoted to writing your butts off.) I also have a friend who plans to send me a check for $500 and if she doesn't make her word count by the end of the month, I get to cash the check. Is it bad that I'm rooting for her to fail? :op

3) Achievement rewards for long term projects.Writing whole books can be really challenging. But if you break it into smaller goals and put prizes at the end of each milestone, you're more likely to get the work done. At 20,000 words= a massage. 50K words= a weekend off/away. First draft done=dinner at fav all you can drink wine bar....whatever does it for you. But make the prizes good, so that getting to the end feels like a sweet deal.

So what do you do to make sure the writing gets done?

Mind Games---Want to Play? #amwriting w/ #writerprobs

(Post 7 of my November Journal Challenge!)

I have to be in a certain head space in order to write. If I am too stressed I can't write but if I'm not writing, I feel stressed! It is a cycle that can get ugly real quick. 
But why can't I just sit down and write?



Because I am such a hot house flower when it comes to writing. I have to be comfortable, fed, and have hours stretched out before me with nothing to do. No pressing appointments. No student essays staring at me from a pile on my desk. It can't be too sunny or I want to go out and play. It can't be too rainy or I want to go back to bed. I can't be too bored or I'm understimulated. I can't have too much to do or I'm distracted.
And no, I don't waste tons of time showering and all that in order to get to my desk and get the work done.

In fact, I am usually unwashed, haphazardly dressed and generally disheveled when I show up at my desk. I would be embarassed for anyone to see me in my usual "writer's uniform."

And it isn't that I don't have goals. I tell myself that my goal is to write 2000 words a day. If I write 1000+ I'm happy.

The problem is once I sit down to write, I often don't quite know what to do with myself. I have all these visions in my head of what I should be doing and how the writing should be going.  And all these "shoulds" often shut me down entirely and the "words of wonder" well goes dry.

You would think after two published books, it would be easier. That I could just sit down and type by now. I mean it sounds easy enough. 1. go to the computer 2. Turn it on. 3. Start typing.

But it is never that easy!
But why is it so hard, Kory? You just make up shit and write it down, right?So why am I bothering to write this post about how hard writing is? Because I feel like writers don't talk about that enough--especially the super famous ones. I want more people to tell me how hard and imperfect the art is. But more often writing is portrayed as a magical  process where all the words just come to you and the stories are perfect, amazing, and beautiful and everyone skips to the bank clutching their fat royalty checks. 
But that illusion hinders--it doesn't help. It keeps me from simply saying "Yeah, I've got 30 minutes, so I"m going to write. So what if those words suck or if I can only get 10 on the page. To hell with Hollywood standards!"

Stephen King, churning out ALL THE BOOKS
So here I am saying that while yes, some days are good and the writing is amazing and there is no better head space in the world than that--more often, writing is work. Serious work. 
But I won't let that stop me.

Kory's Favorite Fall Pancakes #Recipe #Mondayblogs

(6th post of my November journal challenge!)

I love food things that are made with flour, sugar, and butter (vegan or not). And few things say "Fall" like apples, so that is why I am calling them my favorite fall pancakes. However, in giving credit where it is due--I should say this recipe is basically the recipe in Skinny Bitch, a great vegan cookbook--great for those with delicate tummies like my own.

This is what you will need:

1 cup flour (I prefer AP or whole wheat pastry flour)
3 tbsp sugar (I've used brown, organic, or maple syrup)
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda (dumped a whole tsp in once; but still good; whoops!)
cinnamon to taste (the recipe says 1 teaspoon but I add more)
1 cup almond milk (I sometimes add more if I think the batter looks too thick)
vanilla (says 1 tsp, but again, I add a little more)
2 tbsp oil (I use olive)
Earth balance for pan
apples
maple syrup
cloves and nutmeg

Once I warm my pan over medium heat, I add about 0.5-1 tbsp butter. Yes, you read that correctly. I had about 1 tbsp of earth balance for every pancake I make. You know you're going to smear this on the pancake anyway. Just think how much more delicious it is if the butter is baked in rather than smeared cold on top, eh? Trust me.

So--

1. butter pan and pour in batter. Not too much or you'll have hard time flipping your pancake.


2. Let the pancake cook until you see all these pretty bubbles on top-->
    This picture was actually taken a little too soon.Wait for the bubbles! It is a sign of deliciousness!

3. Flip the pancake.

4. Admire this golden deliciousness until the other side cooks.

5. While repeating this for your 6-8 pancakes, get your apples cookin'. Cut apples up (you need about 1 apple per adult)

6.Put your cut up apple bits in a pan with some butter.

7. Once the apples are coated in butter and have started to cook, add maple syrup, cinnamon, clove and nutmeg to taste.

8. Let them cook like this until the liquid boils down and it starts to caramelize.

9. Finish up the pancakes while the apples cook.

10. Turn off the heat on the apples and let them sit and get sticky for a minute.

11. Plate those crispy delicious pancakes, topping the pancakes with the caramelized apples.


Voila! Enjoy! :) 

"With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility" #OwnYourPower

Day 5 of my November journaling challenge! First week complete, woot!)
So for those of you who know me in real time, know that I practice shamanic drumming for meditative and personal reasons, along with reconnecting to my grandmother's heritage. One of the aspects of shamanism (I am no shaman, just a drummer) is developing an ability to listen to the messages you receive--either during meditation/drumming, in your dreams, or in real life (the animals you see, the impressions you get, and so on). 
Three of the animals I've been working with lately: panther, blue jay and heron--all have an overlapping aspect to their messages: "You have power. Use this power wisely."
Accepting this message has been really hard for me for a long time. Partly because (like many, many people), I've been made to believe I am powerless. 
I've been made to believe I am powerless in general-social ways (I am an LGBT woman from an impoverished background with uneducated parents) to really specific and personal ways (direct abuse). Any ONE of these circumstances (gender, race, sexuality, poverty, abuse, etc.) can make a person feel powerless. I'm just unfortunate enough to have several compounding incidents that gave me a long and lasting impression that I am powerless.
So for anyone who has been made to believe they are powerless (and that is most people I believe), it can be really hard to first accept that you have power. After all, society has also done a really good job of giving us a false definition of power.
When you think of power, you are probably imagining a super wealthy white guy in a "position of power" (CEO, politician, etc.). But how powerful are these people really? If they will do anything to earn more money, then they are not very powerful. They can be persuaded and "bought". And think of some of the most influential and amazing people who changed world history--do they fit the above definition? No. Now think of someone from your life--anyone--who changed it entirely. Changed the way you saw the world and changed you. Was it a rich white dude in a business suit? Probably not. Unless such a person inspired you to become a rich dude in a suit yourself. ;)
I won't say much more on this now, as I am still examining what I think is real and false power (thanks, blue jay), but I am getting a better grasp (as I heal some of the events from my past--thanks drumming!) on the fact that I do have power--which in itself is a huge step for me.
One point of confusion for me has been the difference between power and strength. I thought they were very different and I just now learning the ways in which they overlap. I learned quickly through life experiences that I am strong. And I don't mean because of what I can bench press or anything like that. I mean because I can take an immense amount of damage: emotionally, physically, mentally--and I can survive. I can get up and challenge you again. I'm incredibly adaptable and have excellent endurance when it comes to turmoil and strife. 
To me, this was different than power. The ability to play the victim really well repeatedly was not the same as power. Because victims are powerless by nature. But I do not regret the things that have happened to me. As they say “what doesn’t kill you..”

But my mind was further blown when I realized that I could not only endure or survive, but that I could also exert power and control over myself, my own life, and even other people.
Now please remember that there are true victims out there. People who are truly rendered powerless by the cruelty of others. And it is our responsibility to protect those people. Help them and make life better for them. But before I can do that, I need to accept my own power. I am no use to anyone, if I cannot do that first.
It is true that I am not the President. I am not signing laws into order. But that isn’t the kind of power I’m interested in anyway. I don’t want to be the one to decide that trashcans shall be put on the curb every Tuesday. I want to shape the way people view themselves, each other, and the world. I want something I say to change their thoughts and actions. But most importantly, I want to exert better power over myself--to be a little less reactive to my environment each day. And these are all the things I’m learning about my power.
It starts with me--using what I learned while living as a powerless victim--my ability to endure or my ability to have everything take from me (financially, emotionally, physically, what have you) and still get up are traits I can use now--as a person who recognizes her power, and tries to be a bit more gentle with it.
It’s been tough waking up and realizing that I have influence over the mental and emotional landscape of others--over my students, my loved ones, and now with my writing, over strangers--it is hard to own and also it gives me a bit of remorse. After all, I have not been careful with what I’ve said or done to people because I believed myself to be powerless--thought that nothing I said or did would matter.
But it does. It matters to someone.

So if someone has ever made you feel like you are powerless, you might want to ask yourself if that is really true. Because that is where it starts--accepting that you do have power--and learning how to be a little kinder/gentler with it.
Because I am certain that whatever I say or do is changing someone. Right now. And I can only hope I will be more responsible with that power in the future.