Brendan Shea's Blog, page 14

Prayer

If My people (Christians), who are called by my name (Christ), will humble themselves and pray, then I (God) will hear them, and I will move My hand, and I will heal their land.

Please pray for the people of Los Angeles.

The Fire Inside

A great new film starring Ryan Destiny, Brian Tyree Henry and Idrissa Sanogo, in a true story about a young, female, African American boxer, who stunned the world.

Now the last thing I want to do is give a spoiler of the film, so all I can say is that this white boy grew up in a neighborhood that was mostly Black and Hispanic, and the film depicts the life of this young woman, in a poor community that is as real as real can be.

They didn’t try to shock anyone with the film, nothing bizarre happens.

The characters are gold. From the girl trying to find her place in life, to the coach, who takes the chance of training her and sacrificing much to help her dream take wing, to the young man who loves the girl, The Fire Inside scores big time.

Her family play important roles also, and the boxing footage is exciting. I don’t know that I’d want to watch professional female boxing, or most boxing that often, but many enjoy such entertainment, and for Claressa “T-Rex” Shields, it is a world that allowed her to elevate her community, herself, and ultimately, her colleagues in the sport.

This is the best new film I’ve seen in years.

Unmentionable symptoms

(this chapter is a little crude)

Sometimes I venture into the grotesque; it is not by design, but it occurred to me the other day that I can look to bloodwork results or doctor’s remarks to indicate the state of my kidneys, but I can also use some weird symptoms as well. Please avoid the next two paragraphs if you are squeamish or disdainful of graphic physical descriptions… 

When I was younger, on occasion I’d notice that my urine was a little bubbly. So I wouldn’t comment on this to anyone, but I thought it was cool. I thought it meant that I was virile. Today, I know that a lot of foam in the urine means my kidneys are no longer able to process protein well. I have only to look down in the bowl after relieving myself to see the heavy head of bubbles to know that I ate a significant amount of protein and that my kidneys, though I basically feel fine, are not functioning correctly. 

So this diagnostic is perhaps unmentionable, but to be frank, I’ll mention it so that people who know nothing about CKD, guys in particular, will know this can be a warning sign, and that if they repeatedly witness this type of symptom, they’d do well to visit a physician, and have their GFR tested. Doing so could give you more years of life.

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“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.”— 3 John 1:2

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Song of the Week

If I Were A Rich Man

Lyrics

“Oh, Lord, you made many, many poor people
I realize, of course, it’s no shame to be poor
But it’s no great honor either!
So, what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune?”

If I were a rich man
Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum
All day long, I’d biddy biddy bum
If I were a wealthy man
I wouldn’t have to work hard
Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum
If I were a biddy biddy rich yidle-diddle-didle-didle man

I’d build a big, tall house with rooms by the dozen
Right in the middle of the town
A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below
There would be one long staircase just going up
And one even longer coming down
And one more leading nowhere, just for show

I’d fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese and ducks
For the town to see and hear
Squawking just as noisily as they can
And each loud of the”gee”, be it “gow”, be it “geh”, be it “guh”
Would land like a trumpet on the ear
As if to say, “Here lives a wealthy man”

If I were a rich man
Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum
All day long, I’d biddy biddy bum
If I were a wealthy man
I wouldn’t have to work hard
Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum
If I were a biddy biddy rich yidle-diddle-didle-didle man

I see my wife, my Goldie, looking like a rich man’s wife
With a proper double-chin
Supervising meals to her heart’s delight
I see her putting on airs and strutting like a peacock
Oy, what a happy mood she’s in
Screaming at the servants, day and night

The most important men in town would come to fawn on me!
They would ask me to advise them like a Solomon the Wise
“If you please, Reb Tevye…”
“Pardon me, Reb Tevye…”
Posing problems that would cross a rabbi’s eyes!
And it won’t make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong
When you’re rich, they think you really know!

If I were rich, I’d have the time that I lack to sit in the synagogue and pray
And maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall
And I’d discuss the holy books with the learned men, several hours every day
And that would be the sweetest thing of all

If I were a rich man
Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum
All day long, I’d biddy biddy bum
If I were a wealthy man
I wouldn’t have to work hard
Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum

Lord, who made the lion and the lamb
You decreed I should be what I am
Would it spoil some vast eternal plan
If I were a wealthy man?

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Sheldon Harnick / Lewis Bock Jerrold

If I Were a Rich Man lyrics © Jerry Bock Enterprises, Mayerling Productions Ltd., Bock Ip Llc, Times Square Music Publications Company, Trio Music Company Inc., Trio Music Co., Inc.

Sung by Topol

Isaac Stern performed the violin solos 

John Williams conducted and adapted the original score

Christmas in the Park

Today we went to Christmas in the Park in Downtown San Jose.

For starters, we had to get lunch, so we went to a new place called Angelou’s Mexican Grill, on First Street. I wanted Spaghetti Factory, as we haven’t been to that eatery in years, but this was something new, and it sounded interesting. Inside was interesting too…

I thought the place was named after Maya Angelou, but maybe it was reminiscent of people who went by Angel and Lou? Either way, it was a neat location.

I decided to have alcohol again, because they had sangria, and while I’ve had the virgin version many times, I’d never had it with wine. It was very tasty.

I had the flautas, but was so busy wanting to pronounce the dish expertly that I forgot to ask for beef. I’m not a big meat eater, but with Mexican food, I prefer ground beef to chicken in most dishes.

The chips we started with were nicely sauced (on the side), and a perfect amalgam of crisp, mild salt and little grease.

My flautas were crunchy, with a topping of diced tomatoes, lettuce and a mild sauce. The chicken was perfectly cooked, if chopped a little too chunky. I’d have enjoyed the dish more with beef, but it was very good, and the rice and beans properly cooked and creamy as to the latter.

We did not opt for dessert, and were both quite full from our meal. Before leaving, I took a photo of the restaurant name, an art piece opposite our table:

We splurged on eating out this year, more than we would on a normal day, but were it not for the drinks, the meal would have been about half the price. It was worthwhile, but maybe not every day.

Next, we walked over to Christmas in the Park, and enjoyed the people, trees and animatronic displays…

Finally, my wife wanted to visit the Signia by Hilton, San Jose, so we went to the AJI Bar & Robata lounge, where I worked a particularly difficult crossword puzzle on my phone, drank a $12, nonalcoholic Refresh (fevertree cucumber tonic, ginger beer, mint, lime), and ate bar snacks consisting of wasabi peas, cashews, peanuts and almonds.

The drink was great, but not precisely the flavor I wanted (had to pass on the one I wanted per ingredients that are bad for my CKD), and it was tiny, so after slaking my thirst from the salty bar mix, I drained my glass quickly.

Fortunately, the crossword was both difficult and solvable, and kept me pleasantly diverted the entire time.

Despite San Jose’s labyrinthine downtown one-way, train laden, twisty boulevards, we found our way back to the freeway and made it home to relax and watch a few final Christmas movies.

Or maybe we’ll watch them ’til the tree comes down on New Years…

Acquire temperance

An excerpt from my new book on chronic kidney disease:

Prince Hamlet advised the players in Shakespeare’s play to, “acquire and beget a certain temperance that would give their (drama)… smoothness”, but with my CKD, my body no longer regulates temperature correctly at all times.

My wife shouted in alarm on coming home to find me bundled in a scarf and fleece when the mercury read around 77 degrees Fahrenheit. “It’s not hot!”, she said, “take off that beanie!”. But I was feeling a chill, and the pulsating air from the swamp cooler in our home was making me cold. She was trying to keep me from getting off kilter and slipping into worse health.

Was it cold? No, but I felt a chill nonetheless.

Lately, we have been experiencing record highs in the one hundred degree range, but most of the time the house is running about eighty, with cooling, and I am perfectly content.

I can take a fairly long walk in the heat and not be bothered, but again, am still highly susceptible to heat in the sense that I can’t spend long periods under the sun, because my body is extremely prone to dehydration.

I drink about one hundred and fifty ounces of water, juice and tea per day, but the juice is mostly sugarless; the tea consists of one bag, sixty-four ounces of water and two packets of Stevia; and the water is just filtered tap.

If you are in Stage 3 CKD, these types of symptoms could be at issue.

One day, I was warm so I wore shorts and a T-Shirt and while I was working, I got freezing cold.  So then, I put on sweats and a beanie and then I got hot and I put on the shorts again and then in the evening after dinner, I got cold again. How I am wearing warm lounge pants with tube socks, a fleece and a beanie, it’s eighty-two degrees and I’m comfy, is beyond me; my temperature is all over the place. 

Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to

you, trippingly on the tongue. But if you mouth it, as

many of our players do, I had as lief the town crier

spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air too much with

your hand thus, but use all gently, for in the very

torrent, tempest, and (as I may say) whirlwind of

passion, you must acquire and beget a temperance that

may give it smoothness.

— Hamlet Act 3, Scene 2

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Later, in Act 5, Scene 1:

Song of the Week

Adagio for Strings & Violin Concerto

Leonard Bernstein & Samuel Barber • Barber: Adagio for Strings & Violin Concerto – Schuman: In Praise of Shah & To Thee Old Cause

Pray where you are

A Christmas Song

(song link)

In the submarines and in tanks,
In the S & Ls and banks,
In the cancer wards, the prisons and the bars,
On the earth and on the moon,
In the closet, in your room,
In the flop houses, the think-tanks and the farms,
To the salesman forever trying to sell,
To the faithful daughter walking to the well.

Oh, pray where you are,
Pray where you are,
In the fields and in the factories,
There’s no limits, rules or boundaries,
At work, or school, or driving in your car,
Pray where you are.

In the strip joints, in the church,
On a desperate lost child search,
On the airplanes, and the back roads, and the rails,
On the blacktops and the beach,
Down the sewer and up the creek
In the penthouse, and the pool halls and the jails,
To the criminal with no one left to con,
To the movie star whose day has come and gone.

Oh, pray where you are,
Pray where you are,
In the fields and in the factories,
There’s no limits, rules or boundaries,
At work, or school, or driving in your car,
Pray where you are.

To the junky with his back against the wall,
To the lawman as he breaks another law,
In the desert, off the shore,
And in peacetime and in war,
In the pentagon, the court rooms and the malls,
In the tents and in the caves,
At the truck-stops, by the graves,
In our hopes and fears, and struggles great and small,
To the corner prophet that no one seems to hear,
To the president who prays for four more years.

Oh, pray where you are,
Pray where you are,
In the fields and in the factories,
There’s no limits, rules or boundaries,
At work, or school, or driving in your car,
Pray where you are,
Pray where you are,
Pray where you are,
In the fields and in the factories,
There’s no limits, rules or boundaries,
At work, or school, or driving in your car,
Pray where you are,
Pray where you are,
Pray where you are,
Pray where you are.

Lost Dogs Track 4 on The Best of the Lost Dogs  Producer Lost Dogs

The Perfect Meal

This Christmas Eve we got to help out a bit at church, and the service that followed was excellent. For all my failings and foibles, it was still my best candlelight service experience yet, and I’m grateful.

To follow, my wife made a reservation at King’s Fish House, but we thought it was at posh Santana Row, so we drove over there and parked.

Then we realized it was at the ‘Row’s ritzy relation, Valley Fair. We had secured a good parking space and it was a nine minute walk, so we hoofed it down the row and across the wide boulevard, paved with white hexagons, safeguarding the crosswalk across the street.

Having just seen The Christmas Story, where some stray dogs make off the the dinner turkey and the family is relegated to roast duck in Chinatown (not a bad outcome), I was half expecting a fancy Chinese restaurant inside the mall.

I haven’t been to Valley Fair in years, and they were upgrading it for a long time. There are now several outbuildings there, with nice shops and restaurants. We spied the fish house and sauntered in.

On the way over, I stopped in at LB Steak as I thought the fish house wouldn’t be that great. They had no wait as it was before 5pm, but my wife, who agreed to eat there, clearly was not at ease.

In a rare moment of clarity, I saw her dissatisfaction. She OK’d LB Steak, but I read between the lines. I asked her if she really wanted to eat there, and she was noncommittal, so I said we should go to the fish house.

When we walked into the restaurant, I knew I’d made the right choice; or I knew she had, and that I managed to not goof it up. A Christmas miracle.

The manager seated us and our waiter ushered us to a toastier table when the one we started at was not warm enough. The service was excellent and things did not take forever.

I rarely drink but I got a glass of Riesling. I didn’t have it all, but it was tasty.

Looking at the menu, I wondered what I’d get… The steak menu was light; it was a seafood house after all. I’m not big on steak, but it was Christmas.

I figured I should get fish, but I felt like a burger. So I compromised. I got the Blackened Wild Mexican Sea Bass sandwich. It was served on a potato bun and was stacked nicely with a tasty cabbage slaw, cilantro pickled Bermuda onion with a nice remoulade.

The bun was soft, the onion pleasantly pungent and delicious, the slaw fresh and the fish was heavenly… and just spicy enough for me.

But I wanted a salad, as well, and couldn’t eat the fries with the sandwich, so I started with the smallish Walnuts & Bleu Cheese salad with baby greens, candied walnuts, blue cheese, dried cranberries, and a golden balsamic dressing.

When I go out for salad, I order ranch dressing most of the time. Even some of the nicer restaurants water down their bleu cheese dressing terribly, but ranch is cheap, so it comes out full test.

This salad had a nice vinaigrette, and the chunks of walnut and quality bleu cheese were outstanding. I couldn’t eat all the heirloom tomatoes, but the salad looked great, and tasted equally good.

We rarely get dessert, but she was up for it, so we ordered quickly. I got the “Hooked on Butter Cake”, with vanilla bean ice cream, homemade whipped cream, a splash of raspberry sauce and fresh blackberries.

I ordered black tea with milk and honey, which was not hot enough, but the presentation was outstanding, and with a meal, service and atmosphere like this, I couldn’t complain. The meal was a smash. I hope King’s Fish House is open for a great many successful years.

We walked across the street going back to Santana Row to get our car, and saw some sights along the way…Merry Christmas, and to all a good night.

Borderline Personality Disorder?

So why am I still flip-flopping about a lawsuit? I spoke with a friend recently, and shared the news. My old primary care doctor called me on my cell and personally apologized for potentially shortening my lifespan. But instead of making me feel more at peace, his casual chat made me feel more upset. I said if he’d given me specific information outlining what could be at play, I could have taken measures, and that having taken measures later, my GFR had held steady for many months.

He said he was sorry and that he might be more careful with future patients. So why did I feel that was wholly inadequate? I told my friend about it, and he reiterated that I should take action against the doctor and the hospital. The doctor had probably taken years off my life and might also err with others in the future; plus, the hospital, behemoth though they are, might change their policy that delayed referral to nephrology until stage 3B.

I told my mom, and she does not see the Bible as the authority on life as I do, but she said there’s a difference between trying to get revenge on someone, between greed and avarice (read lawsuit) and taking responsibility for you and your family and friends. I guess I saw what she was saying to mean that I could advocate for myself without being cruel or greedy, per se, but I still struggle with the idea of a lawsuit as it chiefly brings to mind what I’d do with a big windfall of money…

Yes, I’d donate a lot to charity and try to elevate my writing activities, advocating for better hospital policy regarding kidney disease, but the thing still smelled like a money-grab…

I looked up some verses on the subject online:

1 Corinthians 6:1-11

When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, …

Matthew 18:15-20

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.

And I found some bullet points, but don’t know if they are valid without researching:

2 Timothy 3:1 – Discourages selfish motivationsExodus 23:7 – Discourages false motivationsRomans 12:1 – Discourages vengeful motivationsProverbs 31:8 – Encourages speaking up and judging fairly, and defending the rights of the poor and needyPhilippians 2:14-15 – Encourages doing all things without complaining and disputingNew Testament – Encourages taking disputes before the Lord’s people instead of before unbelievers

And who am I to judge my doctor, to know if he is a man of faith? Such dilemmas are difficult by nature.
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