HastyWords's Blog, page 44
February 17, 2017
DEADLY ESCAPISM
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I feel myself dangling
Hung from my ankles
Unable to rise above
A rag doll with eyes
Watching the spinning
Colors mixing, swirling
Combining into night
And then it comes to life
Dragging itself closer
Shrouding me, holding me
Suffocating me in its belly
And I close my eyes
Giving myself to sleep
As my consciousness absorbs
All my intoxicated blood
Siphoning all my hurts
And then multiplying them
Into an incomprehensible pain
Causing me to pull the next
Pretty bottle of escapism
From my shelf stocked full
Tagged: #Binge drinking, alcoholism, ANXIETY, Depression, escapism, Mental Health, Poet, POETRY
INTERNET WARRIORS
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No site is safe for kids. Where there are a group of kids there will be pedophiles looking to groom them. You can watch over your kids shoulder all you want but having an ongoing conversation and giving them a clue as to what to look for gives them the power to help stop these predators.
I limited my daughter to Instagram because they do a great job of filtering and monitoring content (of all the apps they do the best job in my opinion). I have seen things but also noticed them removed quickly.
Recently, my daughter had a kid at her school message her some very inappropriate videos. My daughter has a private account so she knew this kid and had friended him. After researching the situation I found out that Instagram now has a Snap Chat feature were you can direct message a short video that disappears (no evidence left). She reported him to the school even before she told me about it.
It was a brave thing to do and I couldn’t be prouder of her. We talked about how important it was that he learned his lesson now rather than later in life. How we are not at fault for another person’s decision to be inappropriate. Especially when after asked if she would like a picture she said no.
When I found out I had to sit back and process the anger, sadness, and fear before I could logically discuss this with my daughter. I won’t lie… social media scares me. I would love to protect her from its darker side. But I can’t. We don’t live in that world. So I spend as much time as I can keeping up with the new trends and I am active online as much as I can be. And I STILL missed that Instagram had that feature.
The bottom line is: Our kids are going to see these things. Even without predators to deal with we have kids who make bad choices to contend with. So with or without access to it at home. Conversations must be had. We aren’t helpless parents. We have the power to instill confidence and bravery in our kids. We are responsible for training them to be internet warriors.
If you want to know where I go to get great teaching resources: GALIT BREEN (THESE LITTLE WAVES)
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Galit Breen has become one of my favorite and knowledgeable sources for online strategies for parents with kids. I love that her philosophy matches my own and I am able to relate to her wisdom on a very basic level. That basic philosophy is, “You can’t actually KEEP kids safe, you have to teach them how to BE safe.”
Tagged: Bullies, COMPUTERS, CYBER, CYBERBULLY, Internet, Monsters, ONLINE SAFETY, Predators, SAFETY, Warrior
February 16, 2017
SWALLOWING HUMANITY
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The cracks will swallow you
When you least expect them to
The deep dark veins below
Snake around your feet
And slither silently to and fro
Ubiquitously lacing surfaces
Unapologetic and merciless
With obscure secrets to bestow
Giving air to the beasts beneath
Who wait patiently to consume
Eventually and completely
The humanity that treads above
Tagged: Dark Poetry, Demons, Fear, Hell, Horror, Humanity, Monsters, Poet, POETRY
February 15, 2017
INSIDE THE BLUR
There is beauty inside the blur:
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Some days
The world is blurry
Looking as if it’s melting
Its turquoise skies into grass
While shades of molten glass
Swirl like mist around trees
And lonesome shadows
Joust with the light of day
The movement of life
Forming abstract shapes
And dancing like liquid clay
But that’s just some days
Because most days
I remember my contacts
And I can see clearly then
Tagged: Art, Beauty, BLURRY, EYESIGHT, life, LOOKING, Nature, POEM, Poet, POETRY, SEEING, SIGHT
BEREFT
Written for a friend of mine. May your wife rest in peace.
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This city full of life
Grew much quieter
The day you left
You were my wife
My sole proprietor
Now I am bereft
Left to wander
Day to day to day
As months pass
I sit here alone
Each day I squander
With nothing to say
My heart is glass
My future blown
I miss you everyday
Since heaven fell
And carried you away
Tagged: Cancer, Death, Family, grieving, life, Loss, love, Marriage, POETRY, relationships, sadness
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February 14, 2017
PAVED ROADS
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Every part of me yearns to feel
Breath laced with brazen fire
Eyes like piercing swords of steel
Staking claim to my every desire
Danger lights ahead flash red
As I give away my eager kisses
Tight curves wind unrestricted
Touching all abandoned senses
Heated hands find their calling
Resurrecting my damaged heart
All caution signs are falling
You keep me from coming apart
A slow steady pace of words
Exchanges that bind my soul
The two of us like songbirds
Your sweet songs make me whole
This road below us goes on and on
Purposely paved and meant for two
Let me repay you with my own song
Because I’m in love with you
Tagged: love, Lust, Passion, Passionate, Poet, POETRY, relationships, Romance, Romantic
YOU – by S.L. Allen
YOU
I wish that I were an artist,
then I could create
with more than just words,
a portrait of you.
I would use blues
and golds and rose hues.
I would blend soft brown,
amber and gold
to make the color
of your eyes come alive.
I would then take the color of honey,
warmed by the summer sun.
I’d touch it with just the right blush,
to create the look and feel of your skin.
For your hair
I would need to recreate
the black of coal
from the deepest, darkest mines.
It would be cool and glistening
with hidden gems.
The final touch would be a special color.
A hint of the warm afternoon sun,
blended with a sunsets brilliant heat,
all purple and red and gold,
with a bit of moonshine added.
This is a necessary blending.
It would show the wild glow of your love,
that no one can see but me.
Sharon Hameier “1994”
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S.L. Allen is a mother of 6 and a grandmother to 13, live in her small Hometown of Rahway New Jersey. She has been writing since she was a child because there are just too many words in her head. She has always loved to share her writing with the world even if it wasn’t published. She was feature in Good Old Days magazine in 1992 with a “A Christmas to Remember” since then she has authored many a poem and short story for family and friends to enjoy. Her dreams are one day to get her words out to the wide world.
Tagged: Beauty, life, Loss, love, Passion, relationships, Romance, Soulmate [image error]
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH LOVE – by DARLA HALYK
For most of my life, I have had a skewed version of what love is. My relationship with love is complicated, at times, torturous. It would be simple to say I fall in love easily; I wear my heart on my sleeve and believe in the good of all people. But as I said, my connection with love is twisted. I am forever stuck thinking I deserve love, but I am unworthy of it.
People have said I am a dreamer, a romantic, and I guess they’re somewhat right. I recognize love is what makes the world go round. But there are times, (too many to count), I don’t believe I am deserving of real honest love. With my whole heart, I know I warrant the type of love that will knock me off my feet and shift my head into the clouds. However, my relationship with her, and how love has made me feel in the past is one that encompasses hurt.
I am not much different from any other human, we all crave deep soul filled connections, especially through love. Perhaps I am wrong to believe so firmly in love stories and happy endings, but ever since I was a little girl, I craved them. Constantly looking for a love that didn’t hurt. Hoping there was a different kind of love than the one I had been shown.
I’m not saying my glass slipper has to be found and traipsed across all the land. Fitted onto unworthy women before finally making its way to me and sliding ever so gently over my foot. I know love isn’t like that, but I also realize I do deserve to have a better relationship with her than I have had in the past.
Love has consistently been a tumultuous fight in my life. I find myself in a juxtaposition starving to understand what it feels like to be truly loved. Or, to truly let love inside my scarred and guarded heart.
I open my heart quickly, speak of my emotions without conflict, trust instantly and give my entirety to her, but as soon as she displays any semblance to hurt, I run as fast as an Olympian to a safe place built out of anxiety, pain, and fear.
As a young girl, love was planted upon my tender skin by the hurtful, dangerous, and deceitful hands of my abuser. The whispers in my ear and secrets he asked me to keep were because he loved me. His so-called love distorted my perception of love altogether; I despised love and everything in which it meant. Love wasn’t a fairytale with a happy ending, love hurt. Creating a little girl who only knew hurtful love and a woman who now craves a fairytale, a Charming Prince.
The first time my three-year-old body was touched by my molester any chance I had of believing love doesn’t hurt, was ripped from my tiny heart. My fundamental understanding of love came with fear, confusion and it left me with a sickness. A constant misinterpretation of what love should feel like, I either chased the wrong people and blamed myself when that love hurt me, or I pushed love away completely. *I am currently working on this.*
This twisted heart aches to show devotion and kindness, craves deep connections but quivers in fear when love gets too close.
I pursued love in a way that was unhealthy for most my adult life, one that was injurious but the only kind I knew. I have perpetually ached to feel what others have described as butterflies and vibrations on their skin. To be told I am worth each emotional scar inside my heart. But as often as I chased love, I also turned it away. I have spent so much time convincing myself all love comes with hurt, it eventually became my reality, I chose it. Consuming my time pursuing a toxic prince charming and inequitable love.
I believed I only rated hurtful love, the kind that shattered my ego into a million pieces while lying motionless in the fetal position. Love in which only felt normal, because if it wasn’t a little broken and painful, it couldn’t truly be love. I spent many years hunting for (and finding), the kind of love that left me banging my head against a wall leaving emotional scars, and a damaged heart. Infinitely causing me to wonder if I would ever be good enough. Smart enough, or pretty enough to be loved.
Not until the levy of my emotions broke, while fighting an addiction that hid all these effects, did I finally come to grips with the fact that I chased toxic relationships, virulent love. Not only did I pursue destructive relationships but also attracted poisonous love. Always living the life of the victim I once was. Because the victim role was the only place, I had ever felt comfortable or accepted.
It has taken me years to understand hurt is not a part of a loving relationship. And accepting that I deserve a love that isn’t filled with fear and anxiety has become one of the greatest accomplishments in my emotional life. I now know I am worthy of genuine love, real, warm and compassionate love. I have come to understand I may never have the charming prince kneeling before me while slipping on that glass slipper in a fairytale ending. But I am worthy of my soul mate, and more importantly, he is worthy of me and the splintered pieces of my heart.
Love scares the hell out me, I have spent a long time trying to understand my relationship with her. She can take away misery and worry in a simple skip of the heart, yet within seconds of warming your breast, she can also stick a hot knife of sadness directly inside your being.
My relationship with love will always be hard work, I have fought long and hard so as to accept that I deserve to be loved fully, genuinely and without the hurt inflicted on me as well as by me. I have learned to forgive myself and others for hurt. And I am finally coming closer to believing love doesn’t hurt, and I am worthy of being loved.
[image error]Bio: Darla Halyk is the Mom of a Teenage boy and Tween Girl. She studied Business Management at Simon Fraser University. Soon after receiving her Degree, she married and quickly got pregnant with her first child. Deciding to stay home with her kids instead of returning to the workforce after the birth of her son, she become an SAHM, but not your average one. The gig lasted until the kids were school-aged, and her marriage ended in Divorce. Darla has enjoyed writing since she was old enough to hold a pen to paper. Currently, she writes for her blog at NewWorldMom. Bringing a fresh, honest and humorous take on parenting, women’s issues, relationships, divorce, and life, in general.
www.blogirl.info/darla6
Links:
http://blogirl.info/darla6/confessions-from-the-strong-girl/
http://blogirl.info/darla6/a-broken-heart/
http://blogirl.info/darla6/this-is-for-my-fellow-tomboys/
Tagged: Abuse, Family, friends, Friendships, love, relationships, Romance, Trauma
MESSY SHEETS
This would describe my favorite rainy afternoon. Being able to awaken to the person you love each morning…hearing the soft rain, turn to thunder outside as well as inside.
My friend Sarah Bale asked me to write a guest post for her blog Sarah’s World. Go visit her blog! She writes Erotic Romances and so I wrote this one in honor of her new journey!
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Tangled up in
Messy sheets
Clothes ripped
Shredded and torn
Lying scattered
On the floor
Wild passions
Breaking silence
Give me what I need
Let’s leave love
Out in the hall
Dive in deep
Stay down low
Until you just can’t
Breathe anymore
Filling empty spaces
Muscular tension
Dissolving stresses
Everything you want
Is everything I need
Feed your desire
Grabbing hungry
Every part of me
Tagged: Erotic, Erotica, love, Passion, Passionate, POEM, POETRY, relationships, Romance, Romantic
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