HastyWords's Blog, page 126

PSYCHOTIC ICE CREAM DREAMS

 

This is part of the 25 days and 25 songs challenge created by Stuphblog. Click on the icon to participate and get the details.
DAY TWENTY-THREE: A SONG YOU CAN’T STAND TO LISTEN TO

 

If the words are unintelligible then I probably won’t like the song.  I don’t need to understand them so the song can be foreign but the musician needs to at least act like the words matter.  Since there are numerous songs I probably wouldn’t be able to stand listening to I am going to pick a song that grates on me.  In fact I can’t even bring myself to put it on my post so here is a creepy version of pop goes the weasel.  And a poem inspired by my dislike of ice cream trucks.

 

He drives around in his frozen wonderland

Long legs, skinny jeans smeared with cream

Melted cherry ice drips from his mustached lips

Licking his fingers, ready to make some silver chips

Hey little girl you sure do look nice…

Hey little boy I have rockets for a price

Day by day through the neighborhoods

Plotting his evil deeds, planning revenge

It’s not the children he wants or needs

It’s their snobby beauty queen mommies

And their overpaid ego maniacal daddies

So with the help of his ice cream truck

And a brainwashing monotonous tune

He’d turn their kids into zombie clowns

And when he was finished and done

Every parent in the quaint little town

Would awake at night and hear him

Eternally and evermore reminding  and reminding

How he took all their precious babies from them

 

 

THE BANISHED TRUTHTELLER

Have you ever been too honest? Maybe, said things you shouldn’t have? I have and still do. I can’t help myself. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that sometimes being honest sucks. It changes everything and maybe it isn’t the best policy.

“I spent so many nights thinking how he did me wrong and I grew strong and I learned how to get along~ Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive

In the end maybe being truthful isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe things happen the way they are supposed to happen. Maybe I am better off than the people who want to say something but keep it hidden, wondering, and forever wishing they could just be honest. I am not very smart so maybe you shouldn’t listen to me; but I am just me and I guess that is all I can continue to be.

I fell in love as I am prone to do

With words that felt like a kiss

Images of white knights

Kneeling before me

Sisters dressed in gowns

Ready to defend me

My own fairy tale blogger world

I was safe and happy and…

But fairy tales don’t hurt like this?
I can name a dozen or more

URL’s in this fantasy domain

People I completely adore

Whom I love forevermore

People who trust me

Who uplift me, who get me

Characters transformed

Into real life friends

Where virtual hugs remain
I fell in love as I am prone to do

A tragedy for someone like me

Someone who feels so deeply

Because I know how I am

I try to remain unchanged

To treat everyone the same

But it is hard because apparently

Right or wrong… I am to blame

A hopeless piece of transparency

DEVIL’S CAROUSEL

To celebrate #TBT (throwback Thursday) I thought I would post a poem I wrote when I was younger. It makes me laugh now and reminds me of my infatuation with Stephen King stories.

http://www.deviantart.com/art/MK-Fantasyland-Night-Stock-19-147914051

The music was loud

People were noisy

Totally oblivious

To the steady beat

The anxious need

They would all feed

The carnival horses

Dove up then down

The carousel ride

A continuous round

Nobody noticed; death

Sat patient on a horse

Never getting off

Waiting for close

Waiting to lead

These adorably hungry

Merry-go-round steeds

Tonight they would ride

Past their perimeter

And instead of dreams

Nightmares…

Yes at least one

Beautifully black mare

Would consume the children

Who visited the fair

I’M THE SLUT WHO BOUGHT TAMALES

My beautiful friend Laura A Lord posted I’m the Slut in the Grocery Store this morning.  Please visit the post and thank her for writing it.  Her writing ALWAYS causes an emotional reaction in me and it ALWAYS leaves me in love in awe of her.  This piece was a bit of a trigger for me and in a way, knowing her reaction was the same as mine, was healing.

You see, I think we all have that moment we are treated like a slut and made to feel like meat or an object. It happens quite often and very rarely does it make us feel special or beautiful.  Is that how men think it makes us feel?  Do they mean to be demeaning?

Just know that all you had to say was, “You look nice today.”

And I would have smiled.

And I wouldn’t have been a bitch and you wouldn’t have altered my day in such a negative way.

I would have smiled.

I would have said, “Thank you.”

~Laura A Lord (I’m the Slut in the Grocery Store)

 

Have you ever been made to feel like a slut because of something pretty you wearing?  Here is one of my stories.

 

 THE TAMALE MAN
I finally fit into the pants

I bought a month ago

I feel classy in them, pretty

I am at work, working

I am alone, working

I am content, working

Then you knocked on the door

The boys love you, I knew you

You are the tamale man

With the best tamales around

Your wife, or your sister

Or it’s your mom that makes them

It doesn’t matter though

We buy them, once a week

And the boys devour them

But this time it was just me

You stood there waiting for me

Tamales in hand, smile on your face

I unlocked the door and let you in

I turned to go to my office

I needed to pay you, hold on

I’ll be right back…

But you followed me

Questions flew at me,

Are you married? Yes

Are you happy? Yes

Do you have kids? Yes

Are you alone here? Ummm

Ok that question scared me

Ummm…no… I am not

Well I am…uh…

But only for a second

He stood in my door way

I handed him the money

“You look good!” he said

“Thanks” I quickly said

“Thanks for the tamales”

OMG he isn’t moving

He reaches out to hug me

As I reach for the tamales

One arm wrapped around me

I try to get passed the door

“You smell good!” he said

He wouldn’t budge

He smelled like sweat

Holy shit

My stomach fell… adrenaline

“Ummm ok” I snatched the tamales

From his other hand and pushed by

“The guys will be back in a minute”

He just stood there…

I walked toward the door

I opened it and stood outside

A car pulled into the parking lot

Not one I knew but it didn’t matter

The tamale man was leaving

The car that pulled in didn’t stay

They must have been lost

They just turned around

Thank you God

Best timing ever

I locked myself inside

I called one of the boys

Broke down in tears

The next time he showed up

The boys met him outside

He never showed up again

 

 

I don’t know what would have happened but it scared me. I realized I have trouble being too nice even in the worst situations. I never want to hurt anyone or make them feel bad. I don’t want to jump to conclusions or believe anyone is bad. But, I felt in my gut that it was about to get bad and I have learned to trust my gut. Regardless, of what his intention was his behavior was bad. Like Laura I felt like a slut, like I deserved it because of what I wore. I went home and gave those pants away. It is a shameful feeling to be made to feel like a slut.

HE GAVE ME GOOSEBUMPS

 

 

This is part of the 25 days and 25 songs challenge created by Stuphblog. Click on the icon to participate and get the details.
DAY TWENTY-TWO: A SONG THAT SOMEONE HAS SUNG TO YOU

I can’t really do this challenge properly without giving away my real name (I just narrowed down the possibility of what my name could be) but I swore to my husband I would never say…  So…

I have a bunch of seriously talented friends and many of them ( all of them ) sing way better than me so I get to listen to them from time to time.  This one song sticks out because one of my best gorgeously gay friends, Josh Lindsey, gave me happy goosebumps singing it to me one night as we were driving back from a concert.

Ok, he didn’t really sing it TO me but I was an audience of one and he was singing it so beautifully that I might have pretended I was the woman of his dreams and dot dot dot. Just to make all the girls (and boys) jealous I am using his picture as the Featured Image because he is a CUTIE and has an amazing voice to match.

 

BLUE EYES BLIND ~ ZZ Ward
I feel the moon hitting the blacktop,

Just like a fuse, making the night so hot,

Forget the truth until tomorrow,

You’ll be my Hughes, I’ll be your Harlow,All I know is you stole my eyes,

And was packaged to stone ’cause you put it down right,

All I know is you pull me through,

I don’t wanna see nothing if I ain’t seeing you,You’re the yellow stars up in my silver sky,

You are a ray, ray, you even make my blue eyes blind,

All of the lights went down when you came with me,

Now there’s a million diamonds that I just can’t see,

You, you, you,

Make my blue eyes blind,

You, you, you,

Make, make my blue eyes blind,

You set me straight, just like an arrow,

Until we lay, caught in the afterglow,

My world was gray with all the others,

Until you came, you showed me colors,

All I know is you stole my eyes,

And was packaged to stone ’cause you put it down right,

All I know is you pull me through,

I don’t wanna see nothing if I ain’t seeing you,

You’re the yellow stars up in my silver sky,

You are a ray, ray, you even make my blue eyes blind,

All of the lights went down when you came with me,

Now there’s a million diamonds that I just can’t see,

You, you, you,

Make my blue eyes blind,

You, you, you,

Make, make my blue eyes blind,

There ain’t nobody taking your place,

So you don’t have to worry,

You got that good shit, darlin’,

Ain’t nobody gonna try to beat,

It’s like you’re freezing, it’s like you’re freezing time,

You make my blue eyes, you make my blue eyes blind,

It’s like you’re freezing, it’s like you’re freezing time,

You make my blue eyes, you make my blue eyes blind,

You’re the yellow stars up in my silver sky,

You are a ray, ray, you even make my blue eyes blind,

All of the lights went down when you came with me,

Now there’s a million diamonds that I just can’t see,

You, you, you,

Make my blue eyes blind,

You, you, you,

Make, make my blue eyes blind,

You, you, you,

Make my blue eyes blind,

You, you, you,

Make, make my blue eyes blind.

 

 

A GIN AND TONIC DEATH

This is barely a poem, barely truth and barely fiction.  Sometimes things happen, they just do… they just do.

The night sky held speckled stars

A frigid breeze danced a quiet jig

Her breath kept punctuating the air

Stabbing it with a gin and tonic flare

Her slurred words coated in defiance

He begged her to calm down, please

But with a hmmph she turned to run

And as he quickly grabbed her hand

She lost her balance, she was done

Her head landed with an angry hit

Upon a frost covered drive; cement

Kneeling next to his new bride’s side

He noticed her breath had fallen silent

Black holes dotted each side of her nose

Voids left where calm seas used to sit

Answer me… baby… answer me

Their wedding vows had turned to shit

It wasn’t supposed to be like this

Just a bit of liquor to loosen her up

He dragged her back to quaintville

Loaded her clumsily into the car

And after having had his way

What?

At least once… give a guy a break

He quite efficiently cursed the stars

And drove her to the midnight shift

Just a pit stop before given a grave

BECAUSE GIRLS ARE COOL – SHRUTI

 

 

 

 

I have been swamped inside of world where work and family life have kept me from some of my favorite people.  I love Shruti and she always lends some of her love no matter what she is going through. She is a beautifully cool girl!

Help me show her some love by visiting and following her blog.  We also wrote another duet together I have put below! Enjoy!

I fell in love with our friendship
A.R.R.A.N.G.E.D M.A.R.R.I.A.G.E
How far would you go to get closer to someone you love?
The Choice
The ugly Depp Story
Why do we pray?

 

 

FRESHLY DAWNING
Written by A Shade of Pen and Hastywords

Standing under the endless sky

The tears don’t seem to stop

As I try hard to wipe them off

The heavens too rain from above raining

Blurring my physical reality

And drowning me in my sorrow

I measure every quiet breath

In short and shallow draws

I feel tired as every bone hurts

From the pain that never ends

Is there an end to the misery

Or like the rain, the hurt shall stay

I awake each morning hoping

That the sunlit rays will find me

Somehow I remain optimistic

That the clouds will go away

The ray of hope breaks

And suddenly a smile springs

In the land that seemed barren

Flowers begin to bloom

A praise lifts from my heart

That causes it to beat again

Thank you for the new that

Follows the silence of the old

A new beginning always starts

Where the ending ends

All we need to do is believe

Fairy tales forever last

EMINEM MADE ME DO IT…OVER AND OVER AGAIN

 

This is part of the 25 days and 25 songs challenge created by Stuphblog. Click on the icon to participate and get the details.

DAY TWENTY-ONE: YOUR FAVORITE SONG

Eminem is my favorite songwriter AND performer.  People can pick his voice out of any collaboration he does because he has a style that just stands out.  I have a huge crush on him so I will try, try, try not to go all crazy girly gushing on here. Seriously though, his stories, his life, his loves are all written and given to us in a style that I don’t think anyone can match.  And he is HOT and….stuff…

Whenever I feel like I can’t do something and the voices in my head are telling me I am not good enough I lose myself in THIS song.  This song has been the inspiration I needed to accomplish some of the things I have feared most.  Starting this blog and hitting publish on my first book are just two things I didn’t think I had it in me to do but the last line says it ALL…

LOSE YOURSELF ~ Eminem
♦
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted. one moment

Would you capture it or just let it slip?

YoHis palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti

He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs,

But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down,

The whole crowd goes so loud

He opens his mouth, but the words won’t come out

He’s choking how, everybody’s joking now

The clock’s run out, time’s up, over, bloah!

Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity

Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked

He’s so mad, but he won’t give up that

Easy, no

He won’t have it, he knows his whole back’s to these ropes

It don’t matter, he’s dope

He knows that but he’s broke

He’s so stagnant, he knows

When he goes back to his mobile home, that’s when it’s

Back to the lab again, yo

This whole rhapsody

He better go capture this moment and hope it don’t pass him

[Hook:]

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

(You better)

The soul’s escaping, through this hole that is gaping

This world is mine for the taking

Make me king, as we move toward a new world order

A normal life is boring, but superstardom’s close to post mortem

It only grows harder, homie grows hotter

He blows. It’s all over. These hoes is all on him

Coast to coast shows, he’s known as the globetrotter

Lonely roads, God only knows

He’s grown farther from home, he’s no father

He goes home and barely knows his own daughter

But hold your nose ’cause here goes the cold water

His hoes don’t want him no more, he’s cold product

They moved on to the next schmoe who flows

He nose dove and sold nada

So the soap opera is told and unfolds

I suppose it’s old partner but the beat goes on

Da da dum da dum da da

[Hook]

No more games, I’ma change what you call rage

Tear this motherfucking roof off like two dogs caged

I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed

I’ve been chewed up and spat out and booed off stage

But I kept rhyming and stepped right into the next cypher

Best believe somebody’s paying the pied piper

All the pain inside amplified by the fact

That I can’t get by with my 9 to 5

And I can’t provide the right type of life for my family

Cause man, these goddamn food stamps don’t buy diapers

And it’s no movie, there’s no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life

And these times are so hard, and it’s getting even harder

Trying to feed and water my seed, plus

Teeter totter caught up between being a father and a prima donna

Baby mama drama’s screaming on and

Too much for me to wanna

Stay in one spot, another day of monotony

Has gotten me to the point, I’m like a snail

I’ve got to formulate a plot or I end up in jail or shot

Success is my only motherfucking option, failure’s not

Mom, I love you, but this trailer’s got to go

I cannot grow old in Salem’s lot

So here I go it’s my shot.

Feet, fail me not, this may be the only opportunity that I got

[Hook]

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

 

WE ARE THE BEST THING

 

 

This is part of the 25 days and 25 songs challenge created by Stuphblog. Click on the icon to participate and get the details.
DAY TWENTY: THE LAST SONG ON YOUR PLAYLIST

 

It is a bit ironic to me that yesterday’s song reminded me of marriage at its saddest and the song today reminds me of marriage at its best.  I know that no matter what happens in the future I have always loved my husband.  I may not always be IN love with him but I would only be half a person without him.  We have both changed dramatically over the years but each trial we have faced has been faced together.  My hope is that we can both find our way back to believing WE are the best thing about each other.

YOU ARE THE BEST THING ~ Ray LaMontagne

 

Baby

It’s been a long day, baby

Things ain’t been going my way

And now i need you here

To clear my mind all the time

And baby

The way you move me, it’s crazy

It’s like you see right through me

And make it easier

Believe me, you don’t even have to try

[chorus]

Oh, because

You are the best thing

(you’re the best thing)

You are the best thing

(you’re the best thing, baby)

You are the best thing

(you’re the best thing, oooh)

Ever happened to me

Baby

We’ve come a long way

And baby

You know i hope and i pray

That you believe me

When i say this love will never fade away

[chorus]

Oh, because

You are the best thing

(you’re the best thing)

You are the best thing

(you’re the best thing, baby)

You are the best thing

(you’re the best thing, oooh)

Ever happened to me

Both of us had no love before

(to come on promising like a spring to walk on out the door)?

Our words are strong and our hearts are kind

Let me tell you just exactly what’s on my mind

[chorus x2]

You are the best thing

(you’re the best thing)

You are the best thing

(you’re the best thing, baby)

You are the best thing

(you’re the best thing, oooh)

Ever happened to me

 

WASTED NIGHTS ROBBED OF PASSION

This is part of the 25 days and 25 songs challenge created by Stuphblog. Click on the icon to participate and get the details.

 

DAY NINETEEN: THE FIRST SONG IN YOUR PLAYLIST

I have a ton of music on my phone and I usually don’t make playlists I just hit shuffle and let it play.  Occasionally I will hit fast forward to the next song.  Man, it is so much easier nowadays to forward to the next song, remember when we had to punch the forward on a tape player?

Anyway, here is the first song on in my phone. Again I Go Unnoticed is hard to listen to right now and the lyrics sting a bit so thank you 25 Days of Music Challenge for being so emotionally draining.  Marriage, any long term relationship, is tough because the new wears off and you are left with expectations that begin to tear the relationship apart.  Letting go and learning to re-love is a hopeful prospect.

 

AGAIN I GO UNNOTICED ~ Dashboard Confessional
So quiet

another wasted night,

the television steals the conversation

exhale,

another wasted breath,

again it goes unnoticed.Please tell me you’re just feeling tired

cause if it’s more than that I feel that I might break

out of touch, out of time.

Please send me anything but signals that are mixed

cause I can’t read your rolling eyes

out of touch, are we out of time?

Close lipped

another goodnight kiss

is robbed of all it’s passion,

your grip

another time, is slack

it leaves me feeling empty.

I’ll wait until tomorrow

maybe you’ll feel better then

maybe we’ll be better then

so what’s another day

when I can’t bear these nights of thoughts

of going on without you

this mood of yours is temporary

it seems worth the wait

to see your smile again

out of the corner of my eye

won’t be the only way you’re looking at me then.