More books by Darian Smith…
“Worksheet– Build the Character Answer the questions below to use the theory in this section to develop your characters. What messages did your character receive as a child? Below are some examples of messages – choose the ones that apply to your character: You come first. I won’t pay attention to you no matter what you do. Your needs aren’t important. You need help. If you beg and whine you can get your way. I’m afraid of your anger. You’re clever. You’re so slow. Make me look good. Be happy. Keep trying. You can never pay me back for all I’ve done. I don’t have time for you. It’s okay to explore. Mind your own business. You’re in charge. Parents never make mistakes. Don’t leave me. You have a big mouth. Drop dead. Don’t you ever learn? It’s always your fault. I love you. You’re a problem child. Work before play. What other childhood messages can you think of that your character received? Which of the drivers/injunctions do these messages relate to? How were these childhood messages delivered? What events occurred? What memories does the character have that relate? What beliefs do they have now as a result of each message? What behaviours do they have as a result of those messages and beliefs? How do they adapt when those messages are challenged? How do these messages contradict each other and what internal conflicts are set up as a result? Worksheet – Build the Story Answer the questions below to use the theory in this section to develop your plot and increase conflict. How can the events which delivered the messages be incorporated into or impact on the current story? What events in the story challenge the messages and subsequent beliefs? Who are the other characters in the story who challenge those messages/beliefs and how? How do the conflicting messages/beliefs of each character cause conflict in their relationship? What changes need to happen in the character for the beliefs related to their childhood messages to change? What events could precipitate this?”
“The horsemen are: Criticism This is when you pick on the person rather than complain about a specific behaviour. E.g. “You never clean up after yourself. You must love living in a pig sty.” When a complaint would be, “I find it really irritating when you leave your dirty clothes on the floor. Could you put them in the laundry?” Contempt Behaviour that indicates disgust with a person – sneering, name calling, mocking, etc. Defensiveness Refusing to accept part of the responsibility or even consider one’s own flaws. Changing the subject to the other person’s flaws instead or blaming them for starting it somehow. “You’re the one who…” Stonewalling Refusing to engage in the discussion. The silent treatment. Walking out. Shutting down the conversation.”
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