Neal Doran's Blog, page 2
July 17, 2013
The Apprentice Final
I spend a lot of time pondering the Apprentice, not least why I watch a show involving people I largely hate. But lately it's been on two things, the format, and the latest winner.
Now the prize is a business partnership rather than a job the whole point of the series has been removed, and it's just a lot of smoke and mirrors to the final. From pretty much week one, whose getting fired? The person with the crap business plan. Who gets picked from the interviews? Business plan. How you do on tasks, whether or not you're an arse (I mean, the degree to which you're an arse, there's never been a contestant who doesn't share 98% of their DNA with an arse), how hard you're going to work, these things are entirely irrelevant, because he's not looking for an employee any more. HE'S NOT LOOKING FOR AN APPRENTICE.
The first 11 weeks are an entire waste of time, and I always get caught up and forget that until the end, and the show turns in to Dragon's Den. I guess the end has always been disappointing, because, like all reality shows, they have to make the finalists look like decent human beings rather than the halfwits they are, but still...
Anyway, this year's winner bothered me:
Hooray! For the first time in the new format, his business partner is going to be a woman! Setting up a business that considers medical procedures are a reasonable and rational alternative to natural ageing! But, as Sugar and Dara O'Briain pointed out, only for the ladies -- too late for the men, ho ho. Nevermind, though, the blokes will get by. It's almost as if their self-worth isn't intrinsically tied up with their appearance...
So Lord Sugar is getting into a business that's cosmetic surgery crossed with a nail bar. But any questionable ethics/morality issues is covered entirely by the fact it's backed by a doctor who would be very careful on the medical side of things, and anyway, she's a young pretty woman interested in appearance so it's all OK.
I think I'd've been happier with the other woman winning, and Alan Sugar making cupcakes.
Now the prize is a business partnership rather than a job the whole point of the series has been removed, and it's just a lot of smoke and mirrors to the final. From pretty much week one, whose getting fired? The person with the crap business plan. Who gets picked from the interviews? Business plan. How you do on tasks, whether or not you're an arse (I mean, the degree to which you're an arse, there's never been a contestant who doesn't share 98% of their DNA with an arse), how hard you're going to work, these things are entirely irrelevant, because he's not looking for an employee any more. HE'S NOT LOOKING FOR AN APPRENTICE.
The first 11 weeks are an entire waste of time, and I always get caught up and forget that until the end, and the show turns in to Dragon's Den. I guess the end has always been disappointing, because, like all reality shows, they have to make the finalists look like decent human beings rather than the halfwits they are, but still...
Anyway, this year's winner bothered me:
Hooray! For the first time in the new format, his business partner is going to be a woman! Setting up a business that considers medical procedures are a reasonable and rational alternative to natural ageing! But, as Sugar and Dara O'Briain pointed out, only for the ladies -- too late for the men, ho ho. Nevermind, though, the blokes will get by. It's almost as if their self-worth isn't intrinsically tied up with their appearance...
So Lord Sugar is getting into a business that's cosmetic surgery crossed with a nail bar. But any questionable ethics/morality issues is covered entirely by the fact it's backed by a doctor who would be very careful on the medical side of things, and anyway, she's a young pretty woman interested in appearance so it's all OK.
I think I'd've been happier with the other woman winning, and Alan Sugar making cupcakes.
July 11, 2013
Pop music
Since our two boys have started getting into pop music, I've found myself getting back into pop music too. Strangely enough, I'm not so grumpy about it any more. It's almost as if it's not that important...But anyway, despite this, I was pleased to realise I can still get a little het-up about the lyrics to songs you're probably not supposed to spend too much time listening to the words to.
Exhibit One: Call Me Maybe by Carly Simon Jensen Button or whatever her name is. Now, I like the idea of this song. Let's face it, asking someone out is nerve-wracking and, although she takes the easy route by handing over her number, rather than facing the more immediate face-to-face awkwardness of asking for a number and getting a refusal which often offends, she's at least put herself out there. If 'here's my number' had been an option ahead of 'could I have your number' for guys when I was young and single, I would have spent many happy years sitting at home and waiting for calls that would never happen from women I'd foisted my number upon at parties before I sauntered off (OK, scampered away before they could give it back).
But the point is, she's been cool, sassy, and well done her. But then, in the song's bridge, she completely blows it.
Here's how I imagine her telling her friends about what happened:
Carly Simon Jensen Button (CSJB): So I just went straight up to him, said something cool and sassy about the rips in his jeans, handed the number over, told him to call me!
Carly Simon Jensen Button's best pal (CSJBBP): No way!
CSJB: Well I said 'maybe', y'know, if he wants to. No big deal.
CSJBBP: Jeez Louise you're so cool and sassy.
CSJB: Gee thanks! I can't wait till he calls. I told him that before he came into my life I'd missed him so bad.
CSJBBP: You did what sorry?
CSJB: I said 'before you came into my life I missed you so, so bad.'
CSJBBP: To some guy you just met? At a party?
CSJB: Yeah. Cool and sassy huh? When do you think he'll call?
CSJBBP: Um...you know, maybe you wrote the number down wrong...
Exhibit 2:
One Direction's passive-aggressive You Don't Know You're Beautiful.
This song identifies the source of a young woman's beauty as her unselfconscious innocence of the fact that she is beautiful.
They then TELL HER that this lack of knowledge is the key to her attractiveness, thereby imparting self-awareness that will DEPRIVE HER OF THE BEAUTY they're singing about.
Pretty boy bastards.
Exhibit One: Call Me Maybe by Carly Simon Jensen Button or whatever her name is. Now, I like the idea of this song. Let's face it, asking someone out is nerve-wracking and, although she takes the easy route by handing over her number, rather than facing the more immediate face-to-face awkwardness of asking for a number and getting a refusal which often offends, she's at least put herself out there. If 'here's my number' had been an option ahead of 'could I have your number' for guys when I was young and single, I would have spent many happy years sitting at home and waiting for calls that would never happen from women I'd foisted my number upon at parties before I sauntered off (OK, scampered away before they could give it back).
But the point is, she's been cool, sassy, and well done her. But then, in the song's bridge, she completely blows it.
Here's how I imagine her telling her friends about what happened:
Carly Simon Jensen Button (CSJB): So I just went straight up to him, said something cool and sassy about the rips in his jeans, handed the number over, told him to call me!
Carly Simon Jensen Button's best pal (CSJBBP): No way!
CSJB: Well I said 'maybe', y'know, if he wants to. No big deal.
CSJBBP: Jeez Louise you're so cool and sassy.
CSJB: Gee thanks! I can't wait till he calls. I told him that before he came into my life I'd missed him so bad.
CSJBBP: You did what sorry?
CSJB: I said 'before you came into my life I missed you so, so bad.'
CSJBBP: To some guy you just met? At a party?
CSJB: Yeah. Cool and sassy huh? When do you think he'll call?
CSJBBP: Um...you know, maybe you wrote the number down wrong...
Exhibit 2:
One Direction's passive-aggressive You Don't Know You're Beautiful.
This song identifies the source of a young woman's beauty as her unselfconscious innocence of the fact that she is beautiful.
They then TELL HER that this lack of knowledge is the key to her attractiveness, thereby imparting self-awareness that will DEPRIVE HER OF THE BEAUTY they're singing about.
Pretty boy bastards.
