Darren Endymion's Blog, page 21

Gotham Madness

Okay, one last geek post.

I���ve never really been a DC kind of guy. Nothing against them, their characters are more iconic and better known than any others — there probably aren���t many people who haven���t heard of Superman or Batman. It just wasn���t really what I got into as a kid. I���m a nutbag for superheroes, though, so I will take just about anything. I haven���t seen the more recent Superman or the apparently abysmal Green Lantern movies. I love Wonder Woman, but don���t have or even know much about her (when playing Justice League Heroes for the PS2, I was surprised that she had picked up the ability to fly somewhere).

The only DC hero I am into is Batman. Or, rather, his villains.

There���s no denying that Batman is pretty awesome. The thing about the recent iterations of Batman is that they strip away the comic feel to him. He���s very much a human man and is dealing with all these issues and villains and lunatics. To me, that���s amazing and a little disappointing. I grew up on Batman the Animated Series, even though I was too young to appreciate just how good it was. Batman was great, but his villains were amazing. The Joker, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Clayface, the Scarecrow, the Riddler, etc. And I���ve been a lifelong fan of Catwoman. These lunatics are sometimes super powered, sometimes not. For me, though, they make Batman interesting.

Recently, the Kindle Fire 7 HD went on sale for like $60 off (probably coming out with a new model soon). I have considered getting one in the past for various reasons, and this made me think about it more. While shopping around in the Kindle comic book section (in my euphoric Iceman���s Coming Out Daze), I saw a series where the Joker is supposed to tell different horror stories of various villains and some of their crime sprees. I picked up one for Harley and one for Poison Ivy. I read them on my phone already and can���t wait for my Kindle Fire to arrive so I can see them bigger and prettier.

That made me remember, though, that under the recommendation of a friend I had set up a series recording for Gotham on my DVR and had yet to watch a single episode. Since my DVR is full to bursting, I decided to watch one, maybe two episodes to see if I liked it, fully expecting not to, so I could delete the 20 hours of it off my DVR. Six episodes later, I realized that I had binge watched a fraction of what was available to me. I normally don���t binge. It���s one of the reasons I get so far behind with series.

If I had today off, I can assure you that I would be at home and bleary eyed, staring at my TV to see what shenanigans Jim Gordon and the Batman Villain Babies can get into. The series is really, really good. It���s real enough and comic book enough to make me horribly happy, and is focused on Gordon and the villains. Even Baby Bat is good, and I like seeing this version of his origins and growth.

I���m not one of those people who say, ���It���s not like the comic book! Ka-kaw! Kaw! KAAAAW!��� like some overactive, anal harpy — from long association with the frequent space- and time-travelling X-men, I can accept this alternate story with no problem and enjoy it for what it is. The Penguin, one of my least favorite villains, is an awesome double crosser. Catwoman-to-be is cool and we already got to see her kick a little butt. She���s graceful and stealthy. I���ve seen little Poison Ivy (though what���s up with the name change?). I want to fornicate wildly and often with the Riddler (you can���t tell me that actor isn���t cute. Look at his main picture on IMDB and say that again.) Jada Pinkett Smith is gorgeous, though shows a lamentable predisposition to overact (and I mean REALLY overact). It���s like she watched Catwoman with Halle Berry and said, ���Eureka! Acting method!��� Sometimes she���s good or subtle, and then she���s chewing the scenery with hams strapped to her body.

So, I���m in a frenzy of super hero geekdom, and Gotham is exactly what I need to get me though. I���m almost glad I didn���t watch it earlier.

Iceman Comes Out

Okay, this may come as a shock, but I���m kind of a nerd. A geek. A drooling idiot when it comes to super heroes. I always have been, and my favorite super heroes were always the X-men. Not all of them, of course; after a while the characters and their powers blend together (seriously, HOW many people can have super strength before it���s no longer super, but rather average?), I was always a fan. Through my uncle, who is the one who really got me into the X-men, I read his comics of classics like the Dark Phoenix Saga, The X-Tinction Agenda, the X-Cutioner���s Song, Days of Future Past, Age of Apocalypse, and so forth. I still, even now, plan to write a novel about gay super heroes, something I hope and pray will even be half as good as Hero, by Perry Moore. (If you have any interest in the subject, you owe it to yourself to pick this book up.)

When I was a little kid I remember watching a cartoon show that had Spiderman, Iceman, and Firestar, and I always thought Iceman was the coolest (pun intended, I suppose). Ultimately, Iceman and all the male heroes would take a backseat to my favorites — Phoenix, Storm, Psylocke, and Kitty Pryde — but Iceman always remained my favorite male X-man. I never cared about Wolverine until Hugh Jackman���s hotness was featured in the movie role, Nightcrawler was awesome (and often challenged Iceman for my affection), Colossus was cool and hot (for a comic book character), Gambit rocked, Havok was everything his brother wasn���t (read: interesting), and Cyclops was in desperate need of a colonoscopy to locate and remove that stick from his ass, but I never liked any of them as much as Iceman. I had a little boy crush on him when I thought that cartoon characters and super heroes were real.

But I think I have X-men gaydar. I always thought there was something in Colossus that could be gay. I don���t know why���maybe it was because his powered down physique was so much beefcake that I wanted it that way, but I thought something was off. In the Ultimate Universe, Colossus came out. I loved the New Mutants when I was young, and I adored Rictor and Sunspot. There was something about Rictor, too. Sure enough, he eventually came out. (I���ll admit that I never would have guessed about Shatterstar, Rictor���s boyfriend). Now I���m looking at Sunspot like, ���Your turn!���

In that same strain, there was always something different about Iceman, too. I remember thinking that there was something undefinably gay about him. He was a smartass philanderer of women, so I didn���t think about it much. Now we have this. Iceman has been outed by Jean Grey. And I wasn���t the only one who thought it. There have been rumors for years, and even Family Guy called it in a cutaway scene where Iceman���s girlfriend follows his ice tracks and yells at him for going to a gay sex theater.

���At least they know how to touch a man! Oooooh, just walk away.���

This is another time bending thing where young Iceman is gay, but the older one isn���t. Unless it���s a parallel universe bullshit again, then the older one is, too, and always has been. I wonder if that will play out. Still, in the meantime, we have a gay Iceman. He���s not just another random gay X-man like Wiccan or Northstar (technically not even an X-man) or Anole���Bobby Drake/Iceman is one of the originals. He goes back to the first days, days when the X-men consisted of Cyclops, Angel, Beast, Iceman, and Jean Grey.

It���s significant and awesome. He���s not a minor X-man. Before this, the biggest one to come out as gay was Colossus, and that was only in the Ultimate streamline, a parallel universe. Now we have Iceman. I don���t care about any supposed gay agenda (what agenda? Mine is to get a certain Prince Scientist to fall in gay love with me. That���s my only agenda), but it���s nice to see such significant diversity.

The fact that Iceman is one of the first means, in its own way, that there has been a gay X-man as long as there have BEEN X-men. And if that isn���t significant in the X-men universe, then I don���t know what is.

Even Bryan Singer had something to say about it:

http://www.ew.com/article/2015/04/22/bryan-singer-xmen-iceman-gay

And, of course, here is the actual coming out. For some reason, that wall Iceman creates between him and Jean kills me. It���s so true���you create a wall when you come out, against yourself, against accepting it, against the world, against judgment, and against dealing with it. Maybe I���m reading too into it, seeing a metaphor that wasn���t intended, though I doubt it. But that ice wall kills me, and it���s so very goddamned accurate.

Marketing, New Stuff, and Overdoing It

So, I have turned in the updated version of my short story. It was a herculean effort to add anything to it, as I was so detached from the project, but when I finally sat down and did it, I got all wrapped up in it again. Let that be a message to myself: just suck it up and do it. It will be enjoyable once you get a little way into it.

Now I have to move on to my least favorite part of the publishing process — the dreaded marketing form. Thankfully, it���s an anthology, so I won���t have to do the whole back of the book blurb, which can be daunting. However, I do have to do the smaller one, which is to discuss my story with a hook in two lines. I have to write a synopsis, which I already do when I send the story in, and that is taken from the prep materials I write before starting the story. There are other parts to fill out, and it���s cumbersome. But, I���ve been down this road before, so it shouldn���t be too terrible. Just irritating.

I���ve been working on the new stuff, but I realized that if I wanted part of the plot to really be relevant, I needed to attach it to something. Without going too into depth, it involves making up a few noble families to flesh out this kingdom, and giving one of them a reason to start some shit.

Have I mentioned that I tend to overdo some stuff like this?

I might mention that I am interested in history, specifically the Tudor dynasty and some outliers around that time frame. So, I know how overly convoluted these family trees can get, and I also get that very few people care. I���m geeking out as I make these charts for my own stuff, realizing that this person was a crazy, powerful bitch and so was murdered in a battle she brought on herself. I���m having fun tracing the villain���s seedy, horrific family background which makes him both disdain and strive for the nobility. It has been an exercise in world building and character development like I have rarely experienced. All I have to do is write a relationship on the chart, and I know the main, overriding part of that person���s history. It���s kinda scary. I usually don���t create that fast.

But all this doesn���t matter to the story. In some cases, it only bogs it down. While it will be important to know that the prince���s grandfather (or grandmother) killed the Mad Queen and took her power, it won���t matter to the story that the usurper���s daughter got pregnant out of wedlock with a commoner and both the baby and the father were discreetly killed, burned, and scattered at sea. Yet, that is in my head, and I���m writing it all out. In case.

So, I think I���m overdoing it. I said to myself, ���Calm down, dude! You���re not writing Game of Thrones.��� Assuming I have that much talent (ha!), the evil part of my brain said, ���Well���why not?���

I don���t know the answer to that. I really don���t. A convoluted and messy family tree and the history to go with it do not make a story. The story makes the story. Family trees and history can be a draping behind the plot. It can illuminate character interactions and motivations. Stephen King said that the story is the driving force, that story should be (if you���ll pardon me) the king. But what if it grows? Am I curtailing my own ambition and talent? Or am I being practical?

So, since it���s so much fun (and for me, it really, really is), I will continue to write it. (That Mad Queen wants my attention, let me tell you.) What makes it into the story remains to be seen. If it serves a purpose and the story supports it, it goes in. If not���well, at least it got me in the mood to write. And it might make something cool to eventually put on my (woefully out of date) web site.

I have to remember that writer’s bane — just because you like it doesn’t mean it belongs in the story.

Challenged by Greed and Sadness

So, I have mentioned Prince Scientist before. Nothing huge has changed other than that we had another Jane Austen moment yesterday with him in a crowd of people and seeing me across a room, making eye contact, holding it, and then me going on my way.

There is a woman I have worked with for years, a cute female in her early-to-mid forties (though she looks much younger), who I have always thought was super cute and sweet, if unfortunately materialistic. We shall call her Trinh. She completely lacks gaydar. There are people here at work who she has no idea about and all I could do was roll my eyes, pat her on the head, and tell her she���s sweet. Even Hellen Keller would be like, ���Dayum! That is a hoooo-mo right there! Bring him over here and let me feel his bitch face.��� *scraping away glitter*

While Prince Scientist was training at the end of my row and I was talking to him and we were having our flurry of Jane Austen moments, Trinh was desperately after the Prince���s trainer (another gay male). When training ended, the trainer got transferred from our building and Trinh suddenly decided that she liked Prince Scientist. She knows I think he���s cute, but adamantly denies that he���s gay. She has seen us glance at each other, stare each other down, flirt a little, has seen him watch me go into the break room and crane his neck to see me, has watched him ignore her to talk to me, has flirted with him only to have him smile politely and turn away, yet she has convinced herself that he is straight and likes her.

What I wasn���t prepared for is Trinh���s pursuit of him and the horrifically ugly side of her I have now seen. She stalks him in the halls. She name drops him at every opportunity as if to prove something to me. She chased him outside and came upstairs looking disgruntled and unhappy when he was talking with another woman and then said hi to me and asked how I was, ignoring her. (For someone who doesn���t think the Prince is gay, she sure is treating me like a Mean Girl would a rival).

Then the ugliest parts came out. Remember when I said that she is materialistic? Well, the scientists make a lot of money. I recently checked: the scientists here make between $100,000 and $175,000 a year. I know that���s part of her motivation. Trinh may be realizing that Prince Scientist doesn���t like her, because she has recently said, ���I wouldn���t go out with him anyway — he���s just a scientist. He doesn���t make enough money for me.���

1) How goddamned shallow. Are people really like this?

2) Considering this heifer doesn���t make more than $18 an hour, I don���t see where she has room to talk.

3) Sour grapes, bitch. She���s realizing that he���s not interested and so makes up the most shallow of excuses to put him down.

4) He likes boys!

Prince Scientist is a hell of a catch, even if he worked at a bookstore, or Starbucks, or fast food. The fact that he has a damn good job puts him at a nearly unattainable, totally intimidating level for me. I have to admit that he really does seem to be interested in me, and that still spins my head. Maybe it���s because I grew up ridiculously poor and now I���m doing perfectly fine, but I don���t need all that money, and it���s honestly not a draw for me. I���m not wanting for anything and I have money to save and splurge; anything more is just ancillary. What I need is someone kind, and intelligent, and funny, and responsible. Yeah, I want him to be hot, but with those other qualities balanced, there are things that I can let slide. I don���t know Prince Scientist as well as I would like, but the shallowness with which Trinh has ostensibly cast him aside is offensive.

Yet, Trinh still stalks him in the hallways. She still claims that he���s straight. Since I am fairly confident in the Prince���s homosexuality, it wouldn���t affect me, but since there are limited, small windows of time where I can potentially run into him, Trinh���s stalking takes away from the potential time I have. I don���t understand greedy, shallow people like this, yet those actions, while ultimately fruitless and deceptive and shocking, are a hindrance to me.

So, I’m left baffled, irritated, and wondering if I will ever have the nerve to talk to him and end this Jane Austen bullshit…or if it’s the potential that I crave. Nah. I’d rather have the reality. I write and create and make up fantasies in story form all the time. For me personally, I would rather have the real thing.

Beautiful Imperfections

Last Wednesday at work a genius new employee wrapped his lunch in tinfoil and paper towels (to mitigate the foil���s effect), and popped it all in the microwave. That would be okay, but he turned the microwave ON. So, fire happened, someone stomped it out, the fire alarm was pulled, and the whole building was evacuated. Since Prince Scientist is across the hall from me, my friends and I walked out not too far behind him and his.

My friend has been prompting me to check out the Prince���s goods, but I���m usually so distracted by his face and his ridiculous intelligence that I don���t notice. Since he was in front of me and I wasn���t talking to him, I did. Fortunately or unfortunately, I think his cute homo scientist friend saw me (seriously, this other scientist is a total cutie. It must suck to hang around the Prince���he sort of gets washed out by comparison).

What struck me was that for the first time, I noticed that Prince Scientist has a little extra weight around his midsection. It���s not much, but it was obvious and noticeable when he took off his jacket. I���ve seen him at lunch. Most of the scientists here eat very healthy: salads and quinoa and fruit and���I don���t know���nutrient-rich potting soil and whatever else healthy people eat. Not Prince Scientist. He eats from the truck: tacos and burritos and grease and horror. He wears his pants a little big like I do, but there was no backside to speak of. He also needs a haircut. Direct, unrelenting southern California sun isn���t all that flattering to his light skin. He���s NOT perfect���and that makes him all the more adorable.

It made me think, though. Am I so insecure that I have to pick out imperfections? Is it to make myself feel better? Probably. But at the same time, perfection is intimidating and it���s almost like there���s nowhere left to go. This is going to sound stupid, but it reminds me of the World tarot card. It signifies perfection, the end of a cycle, completion. When you are done with a project, what do you do? You move on to the next. For me, beauty and personality are kind of like that.

Perfection pales. It���s boring. Flaws make the good parts of people stand out all the more and make the total package desirable. I���m not talking about an extra head, schizophrenia, a vestigial third shoulder-wing, or a sixteenth nipple, but more like what���s mentioned above. A large nose, a scar, a little extra weight, bad eating habits, a character flaw. In books and movies, what characters are we drawn to? Those with flaws. We like to watch pretty people doing pretty things, but that doesn���t touch us. What touches us is that clich�� hooker with the heart of gold, an otherwise good person who needs to overcome hubris, the insecure geek who finds his true worth. Everyone loves an underdog. Without flaws, there is no conflict, no reason to try, nowhere to go but down���or to move on.

So, I got a little (LOT!) philosophical there, but I do think about crap like this. Whether my noticing Prince Scientist���s supposed flaws will go to allow me to feel better talking to him or not is immaterial. It���s a reminder of what I value — change, growth, character, and, well, just being interesting. That���s not to say that I���m immune to good looks or that Prince Scientist isn���t ridiculously beautiful. There���s a lot of beauty and very few physical flaws. I���m not trying to lie to seem noble. His face makes my boxers melt off, and when he makes that lingering eye contact with me — as we did just the day before this — I feel like I���m going to have a stroke (and you can take that any way you���d like, thanks). But if he is perfect, if his personality is flawless, I���ll get bored.

And so I find beauty in his imperfections. If only most people could turn that on ourselves, I think this world would be a happier place.

Distracting Diversion — Gay Movies

(I was going to title this entry ���Distracted by Dick���, but decided that was far too crude���so it���s my first line).

Over the weekend I was not in the mood to write. I was fleshing out a barren area but just didn���t want to write a date scene. I was feeling no affection, no love, nothing. So, I decided to jump on Netflix and watch some gay romance movies to sort of get me in the mood. Normally, that���s just not my thing. I avoid romantic comedies of any sexuality. (Please do not ask why I am currently writing gay romance. I don���t freakin��� know, either.)

I never watch gay movies because they are either dour, depressing, and squeeze the happiness out of a room, or they are light, campy, and often painfully stereotypical. I decided that I didn���t want a good cinematic experience but something cute, romantic, and fun. Six gay movies, a wasted weekend, and some small amount of writing later, and I remembered why I love and hate gay movies. I will illustrate four of them.

1) Longhorns. Fluff, but cute. It reminded me of one thing that I had somehow totally forgotten: to watch a gay movie is to see full frontal male nudity, and usually a lot of it, often without any purpose. Dick count: 5.

It���s like the makers of gay movies think the only way to keep our attention is to throw a dick in our faces every 10-20 minutes. The ass shots aren���t worth mentioning���they come fast and furious and become commonplace in any independent gay movie.

2) Eating Out: All You Can Eat. I didn���t expect to be trapped by this movie, but I was. Why? The character of Tiffani. Crude, slutty, and awful, she made me laugh ���till I hurt. Lines like, ���Children are just abortions that eat.��� Or during a comedic sex scene with a Latino man, ���Use me like a day laborer!��� The romance was between a ���plain��� sort of nerdy guy, Casey, and a really cute one, Zack. Spoiler alert: they fight it, but eventually get together. It was cute, sweet, funny as hell, and exactly what I wanted. (I stopped counting dicks at this point.) I���m a sucker for these kinds of movies, because, as my friends have said, I fall into the nerdy-and-doesn���t-know-how-cute-he-really-is category, also known as ���That idiot who never knows when guys are checking him out.��� I agree with the latter one, anyway.

There was one moment of sad social commentary: Toward the beginning, Zack gets dumped and goes online for breakup sex. One hottie hits him up and immediately asks if he���s into PNP — ���party and play���, the horribly pervasive atrocity of guys doing meth (usually) and having sex until their teeth stop grinding. Zack says no thank you���and immediately gets like 10 other messages from different guys asking if he wants to PNP. It was funny and sad, because it���s so despairingly true.

3) Then I had the misfortune of watching the 4th Eating Out movie, Drama Camp. I cussed at my TV from beginning to end. Spoiler alert: the hot guy, Zack, all but cheats on the ���plain��� nerdy guy, Casey, until the nerdy guy lets him go so he can be with who he wants, the supposedly even hotter guy, Benji. What?! What the fuck kind of doormat��� *breathing* Anyway, Zack was all over Benji the entire time — and RIGHT in front of Zack’s boyfriend, Casey. The movie was shallow, about as romantic as a homeless person pissing in your face, and completely undid what the previous movie set up. It glorifies and rewards abandoning someone you love for a newer, hotter guy who has all the personality of a weevil, but the abs of a god. It paraded this as if it was a virtue and not the despicable act of a despicable human being. Dick count: eleventy-seven. Especially Zack — the biggest dick in the movie (and I don���t mean literally. We haven���t seen his since the third movie).

4) Eating Out: Open Weekend. (No writing was being done at this point). Zack from the previous two movies ended up in a relationship with Benji, the guy he basically left his loving boyfriend Casey for, and they were on a weekend getaway at a gay resort in Palm Springs. However, Benji wanted an open relationship — the freedom to fuck anyone he wanted while staying within the framework of a relationship. Zack, ironically, considering his previous actions, unhappily agreed, preferring monogamy. I had no sympathy for him. Casey, the ���plain��� nerdy ex-boyfriend was there at this resort and Zack and Casey weaved lies and flirtation and angst together.

Spoiler alert: Zack and Benji broke up at the last second and Zack realized he had always loved his ex-boyfriend Casey (who he happily bailed on in the previous movie). Casey and Zack got back together. I liked this one more, because it showed the consequences and karmic repercussions of being a dick, the virtues of appreciating what you have, while also bringing to humorous light the seeming pervasiveness of open relationships in the gay community and the effects they can have.

I wrote my scene, and I realized again why I love and hate gay movies. To wash all that out of my head, I listened to the audiobook for Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan. It���s about a 15 year old in high school, isn���t a coming out story, and takes place in a magical town where gay, straight, and bisexual people, and whatever shades in between regard their sexuality as no big deal. It���s innocent, charming, beautiful, tugs at the heartstrings of even a bitter cynic like myself, and is possibly the cutest gay book I have ever read/listened to. It was a nice d��nouement to a strange weekend with lots of watching, and very little writing.

Prophecy and Mythology

So, I’m currently adding to and re-editing my Mythology story to turn in as soon as I can. Since I wrote it several months ago, things have happened in my life that change the way I look at the story.

Let me explain.

The story is about the Greek gods and goddesses looking down on one human, Riley, as he tries to decide between two possible romances. To add verisimilitude, I decided to take one sentence a guy once said to me to baldly state his interest, and a single moment in time that actually happened to me as a jumping point for the second guy.

Some people will remember my ramblings about Prince Scientist at my work. No, nothing has happened. We still see each other, we still smile, we still make idle chit chat, we still act like we’re in a Jane Austen novel, but nothing more. I was watching a trite but fun gay movie recently where one of the straight characters said something like, “I’ve seen gay guys do this all the time. They will sit there and stare at each other for hours and not say one word to each�� other, no matter how much they like each other. It’s like they are both waiting for the other to make the first move.” Ouch. The truth with that one smarted like I had been slapped in the face.

So, where does the prophecy part come in? Well, I used the meeting Prince Scientist and I were in when we made all that eye contact, when I realized he has a 98% chance of being gay, etc. as a springboard for two of my characters to get to know each other. Giggling to myself as I wrote it, I threw a predatory straight girl in there, and a few other imaginary details before they get to the date part.

And it’s all coming true.

I suppose it’s not that unusual. Prince Scientist is a gorgeous male. But there were things about the predatory female in the story that didn’t get written for time’s sake: she was after the character’s money and his good looks, with no care for his brain or kindness. I wasn’t really basing her off someone I know, but it turns out that it’s happening right in front of me, in real life. Both the real and the fake predators think that the object of her affections is straight, that he’s interested, and all but stalked him. And I’m watching it unfold as though what I have written is coming to life. The details that didn’t make it into the story (but which flood a writer’s mind when creating) are all there. Maybe I knew something in the back of my mind months ago that is just now coming out? I don’t know.

Here’s the kick in the ass, though: the main part I wanted to elongate was the part where the main character and this person finally get to talk and eventually turn that into hanging out. Am I writing the future? Is this like the Stephen King story and my laptop is the Word Processor of the Gods? I drew one scene from real life, and now the rest seems to be following, even to the details which were only in my mind. I’m sure it’s all in my mind. I’m sure the coincidences are, in fact, trite and shallow and nothing that anyone (except a particularly lovelorn and hopeful human being) would see as anything other than not-terribly-outrageous coincidence. But it’s almost uncanny.

If nothing else, it certainly lends that verisimilitude to the story that I was looking for. And actually, I do hope it’s prophetic, because I like the way my story ends. Um…wish me happy editing!

Release Dates

My previous post was about the need for juggling two projects at once, and the release dates for the short story I have worked on only confirm that. The edits themselves should be easy, and I have NO intention of waiting and having this being the only thing I’m working on.

Apparently, there were so many submissions for the anthology that they are splitting it in two. The anthology has to reach a certain word limit to go to physical print, rather than just an eBook, and I’m hoping that both anthologies achieve that amount and that they aren’t splitting the anthology to avoid it. Print books are a greater cost and lower return, you see. Whatever the case, I have been put in the second anthology.

As usual, my story will be available separately as well as part of the anthology. Mine is called Threads of Discord, and involves the goddesses of Fate as a catalyst to a greater end. Athena, Apollo, and a bunch of others get involved in the fate of a modern day mortal, and (as one would assume), mayhem ensues. When I have the official blurb I will share it here.

Unless something changes, the anthology and my story will be available on August 19. The first anthology is in the works right now, so I have a LOT of time to work through things.

First there is the marketing document (always my least favorite part of the process) and that’s not even due until the beginning of June. My first edits should be to me by mid June, which I am to have back at the end of June. After that, I have nothing to do with it until the end of July as all the stories are put together and smooshed into a coherent form. At the beginning of August I have to go over the finished form, or galleys, and send back my approval (I know with my novel I caught a few formatting errors and a few fat-fingered misspellings that my editor and I both missed).

So, as you can see, the time spacing is far and wide. it would be absurd for me to try to wait around for the next stage of this project, when the final product won’t be out for more than 4 months. I could have the next story done by then. So, since it’s always best to train yourself to do something in the easiest way possible, I’m grateful for this schedule which will force me (gently) to work on new stuff while having something in the eaves waiting to be published.

I’ll continue to update, but I suspect that my next entry will be about other things, since that is so well taken care of. All work and no play and all that nonsense. All writing and no frivolity? Who knows?

Simultaneous Projects

So, with the elongating and soon to be editing (I assume) of the short story I recently had accepted for an upcoming anthology with my publisher, I am in a personally unique position of working on two writing projects at once. I have only been in this situation one other time and I didn���t do so well with it. I abandoned the new project and dove back in to editing the old one���and never picked up the new one again.

I don���t want to do that this time, but I find myself reluctant to jump into the old one. I���ve divorced myself from it. I have taken my mind out of that situation, and I���m no longer invested as I was. I read it again, and it was nice to read, but���I���m just not invested anymore. But I have to be, or when the editing process comes along, I���m going to let things slip that I shouldn���t, and not work as hard with some as with others. What I need to learn is how to balance them both.

It���s something that has to be learned. Otherwise, my output — which is already abysmal — will be reduced to nothing. If I dive into editing, that means I will be incapacitated until early summer at the earliest, and not writing anything. That will make the separation that much harder and will leave me in a funk���and what will I be doing in the meantime? Not working on myself or my writing, that���s for sure.

Also, let���s say that in the magical world of the future, I am moving toward being a mainstream author with an actual agent and all that other nonsense. The ability to diversify and do more than one thing at a time is crucial to getting more than one story out a year (my current output���one novel and two short stories so far. Kinda pathetic.) So, I���m looking forward to this opportunity to do two different things and make them both work for me at the same time. If I can get a rhythm like that, I will be a producing fool.

For now I���m just a fool. And that isn���t as fun.

Being Fixed

So, despite being given the wonderful opportunity to elongate my story and flesh certain parts out, I have not written so much as a single sentence. With reason, not excuse. Since it ties into everything else going on, I will divulge.

Every day of the past 9-10 months has been painful. Some days are worse than others, and some days I don���t want to get out of bed at all. I can���t walk without limping, turn over in bed without pain, stand up and go, step off a curb or bus without extreme caution and more time than I should be allowed. Whatever. Through it all has been a constant stream of doctor���s appointments. They thought they found the answer and didn���t. Then, they would find something else while looking for the issue and forget about the main problem. I had physical therapy, X-rays, and an MRI.

Then we have the story of the orthopedic physician���s assistant who had the unmitigated gall to call me up, babbling about marrow problems and leukemia when she really had no business doing so. I had a series of blood tests and they seemed to clear me of anything like it, I have an appointment with a hematologist to check what the issue really is, but that doesn���t matter for our purposes today.

I mentioned before that writing is difficult for me because it is hard to sit up on my bed on my laptop and all that nonsense. On Friday night, I developed a debilitating pain in my left shoulder. Lifting a water bottle was painful. Typing at work was awful. Finally, I had my first appointment with a chiropractor yesterday. We went through everything, X-rays, my MRI, I got a massage, and then the chiropractor tried to kill me. I compared him to the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors.

Maybe I should have made that joke after he adjusted my neck rather than before. *cackle*

In all honesty, he was great. I���ve never been adjusted like that before, so it was a new experience. He���s actually pretty good looking, so it was odd to have him fold me over and essentially lay on top of me, jerking around. My body made sounds I���m sure were inhuman. If I didn���t have the X-rays to prove otherwise, I would say that I was slowly turning into the Predator and he was trying to kill the transformation by warping me like a 5 year old with one of those annoyingly complicated Transformers. My back popped, my shoulders popped, my spine popped, and then my neck popped. Everything he wanted to happen did.

And you know what? I could walk without pain. My shoulder felt better. He did warn me not to overdo it, not to strain myself, not to think that I���m magically cured after a couple of pops and go cartwheeling around. And this morning I can walk better, but there���s pain. My shoulder was bad again, but better than it was. Sitting is easier. My posture is still terrible, but I���m working on it. It���s a step, and I know my body had been messed up for so long that I will have to continue it for a bit before it���s better, but it���s a start.

And I can work. I can get up and walk without having to wait a few minutes for my body to adjust. I can sit up. I can write. So, I���m going to go now and work on elongating those exceptions, to respond to my editor, to do something other than just lie around and hurt. So, enough self-pity, right? I���m ready to move on with writing, with moving, with living, really.