Virginia Arthur's Blog - Posts Tagged "how-do-you-make-a-cosmopolitan"
Does Anybody Know What's in a Cosmopolitan?
I blog about silly things periodically and why not? I write and perform humor and sometimes on purpose.
There are times when I hate my country, America. All citizens I think have love/hate relationships with their home countries mostly because we know our country is not living up to its highest potential. America is not. I hate that in the eyes of the world we appear selfish, consumptive, lazy, stupid, mean, asshole-ish...that Americans work out their ultimate troubles on other Americans--shooting their fellow citizens at shopping mauls, in schools; in our public spaces which are precious and sacred. It is heartbreaking and tragic. I hate that we are the most violent "developed" nation in the world. That our kids rank low in math and science...we CAN do A LOT better but we don't. Imagine an America that lives up to its potential. WOW.
Then there are the times I am nothing less then completely delighted to be an American. We are, at the root of it, of a friendly ilk. We help one another. We offer (sometimes really bad) advice whether it's sought or not. We pretty much love our pets and animals. We do not condone animal cruelty and even have institutions in place to insure this does not happen. We are not pretentious.
I can cite many examples of random events I observe through the day where one citizen spontaneously helped another. I offer you an example from the grocery store...one of my favorite places to observe our behavior.
I have a friend coming for Thanksgiving and she told me to make sure I have the fixings for Cosmopolitans on hand in case she wants a drink. No problem. So I dutifully went to the grocery store to shop then sauntered to the alcohol portion of the store only to realize, aside from cranberry juice, I am not really sure what is IN a cosmopolitan (me, being a woman who relishes a fine beer). It started out in the alcohol section of the store by asking a couple:
"Excuse me sir but do you know what's in a cosmopolitan?"
"Yea. It's a woman's magazine about fashion, hair, and stuff like that."
"No. No," I laughed.
"She means the drink, Bill."
"Yea, the drink," I said.
"No. Uhm. I don't know."
Per a cashier hearing this as he walked by, this compelling question then quickly migrated west from that point along every cashier's aisle in the store as they all asked one another including one cashier, Jack, calling the guy in charge of the alcohol on the phone. While it was making its way through the employee component of the store, it was no less spreading through the customers in line as I heard the discussion proliferate through 20-30 people all around me.
"No, it's NOT bourbon for God's sake, Mary..."
"I think it's gin."
"No, it's VODKA, I tell ya."
"It's not VODKA, it's some kind of whiskey."
"Vodka is a kind of whiskey."
"No it's NOT."
On and on it went like a jazz symphony.
The entire front half of the store was going to figure this out for me damn it and by damn, they DID! Within a few minutes, a nice older couple approached me to tell me they knew FOR SURE what is in a cosmopolitan: cranberry juice, vodka, and lime (triple sec optional I guess).
I left that store with a ton of new friends (including a few that told me they would be happy to try it out for me) and a giant smile on my face. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, GOD BLESS AMERICA, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
There are times when I hate my country, America. All citizens I think have love/hate relationships with their home countries mostly because we know our country is not living up to its highest potential. America is not. I hate that in the eyes of the world we appear selfish, consumptive, lazy, stupid, mean, asshole-ish...that Americans work out their ultimate troubles on other Americans--shooting their fellow citizens at shopping mauls, in schools; in our public spaces which are precious and sacred. It is heartbreaking and tragic. I hate that we are the most violent "developed" nation in the world. That our kids rank low in math and science...we CAN do A LOT better but we don't. Imagine an America that lives up to its potential. WOW.
Then there are the times I am nothing less then completely delighted to be an American. We are, at the root of it, of a friendly ilk. We help one another. We offer (sometimes really bad) advice whether it's sought or not. We pretty much love our pets and animals. We do not condone animal cruelty and even have institutions in place to insure this does not happen. We are not pretentious.
I can cite many examples of random events I observe through the day where one citizen spontaneously helped another. I offer you an example from the grocery store...one of my favorite places to observe our behavior.
I have a friend coming for Thanksgiving and she told me to make sure I have the fixings for Cosmopolitans on hand in case she wants a drink. No problem. So I dutifully went to the grocery store to shop then sauntered to the alcohol portion of the store only to realize, aside from cranberry juice, I am not really sure what is IN a cosmopolitan (me, being a woman who relishes a fine beer). It started out in the alcohol section of the store by asking a couple:
"Excuse me sir but do you know what's in a cosmopolitan?"
"Yea. It's a woman's magazine about fashion, hair, and stuff like that."
"No. No," I laughed.
"She means the drink, Bill."
"Yea, the drink," I said.
"No. Uhm. I don't know."
Per a cashier hearing this as he walked by, this compelling question then quickly migrated west from that point along every cashier's aisle in the store as they all asked one another including one cashier, Jack, calling the guy in charge of the alcohol on the phone. While it was making its way through the employee component of the store, it was no less spreading through the customers in line as I heard the discussion proliferate through 20-30 people all around me.
"No, it's NOT bourbon for God's sake, Mary..."
"I think it's gin."
"No, it's VODKA, I tell ya."
"It's not VODKA, it's some kind of whiskey."
"Vodka is a kind of whiskey."
"No it's NOT."
On and on it went like a jazz symphony.
The entire front half of the store was going to figure this out for me damn it and by damn, they DID! Within a few minutes, a nice older couple approached me to tell me they knew FOR SURE what is in a cosmopolitan: cranberry juice, vodka, and lime (triple sec optional I guess).
I left that store with a ton of new friends (including a few that told me they would be happy to try it out for me) and a giant smile on my face. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, GOD BLESS AMERICA, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
