S.K. Nicholls's Blog, page 87
August 2, 2013
How Do Fantasy Characters Stay So Thin? by Charles Yallowitz
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How Do Fantasy Characters Stay so Thin?
Thank you to S.K. Nicholls for letting me write a guest blog for her blog. I am Charles E Yallowitz and I’m the author behind the new fantasy series Legends of Windemere. I asked for a topic and my generous host suggested weight loss. Everyone is trying to lose weight, but I was a little hard-pressed to tie this into my new book’s release. Then it hit me that so many characters are thin and in shape. What is their secret? I’m here to share some of those secrets.
Fire Magic- You think spellcasters only learn fire magic for destroying their enemies? I don’t think so. Cast enough fire magic in an enclosed room and you heat it up to sweat the pounds away. A little water magic to make some mist and you have a sauna.
Hunting is More Hazardous- We complain about bears and wolves hunting us if we’re hunting a deer. Imagine if alongside those animals, you have dragons, orcs, and trolls on the prowl. You have to take what you can get and the pickings can be rather slim in the winter. Adventuring is a test of your stomach and willpower.
Trail Rations- Nuts, berries, and dried meat are what these typically are. High energy and nutrition, but not exciting enough to overindulge in. So, you get the energy to continue walking without putting on the gluttony pounds.
No Public Transportation- You can’t take the bus to your next adventure. Heroes have to walk and wear out their boots to get to their treasure-filled hordes. This also means that they have to spend more money on shoes than food. Ever try to fight an orc horde while bare-foot? It isn’t pretty.
Dragons!- These heroes live in a world where they are not at the top of the food chain. A lot of predators that want human for lunch can fly, breathe fire, and do so many horrific things that one wonders how the human race is still alive. There’s our smarts and use of weapons and magic to keep us alive. For many heroes, it’s the ability to run in full armor like terrified bunny rabbit. Running is great cardio and a dragon chasing after you is amazing motivation.
Heavy Metal- The weapons and armor of heroes seem to be made for bodybuilders. The swords are heavy and the armor either weighs a ton or tighter than spandex. So, you’re going to get in shape simply by using your gear or to avoid embarrassing armor rolls around the gut.
Magic- People cheat. We have plastic surgeons and surgeries. Fantasy worlds have magic that can erase your fat or transform it. I hate them too for this one.
Dwarven Ale- It’s amazing with all the drinking that heroes do that they don’t end up with beer guts until they’re retired or slated to do during the adventure. Only one thing can explain this. Dwarven ale has the magically properties to taste delicious and have zero calories. You gain more weight from drinking water than this stuff. The trade-off is that eventually you will wake up with a beer gut and be forced to talk about your old warrior days. At least until you’re the first to die in a climactic encounter and have to make your good-bye speech.
Natural Selection- With all of the monsters and evil magic around, maybe those with slow metabolisms simply died off. Only the naturally slender survived to breed while monsters feasted on those that gained two pounds from a simple piece of chocolate. I mean what is up with that? I eat one Hershey bar and I go up a pants size?
No Office Jobs- The people of fantasy worlds have manual labor jobs and there are no cubicles. So, it’s rather reasonable to assume that such lifestyles help them keep in some kind of shape. Even a clerk has to get up and hunt through scrolls or walk to another office instead of using a computer.
There you have my theories on why fantasy characters are predominantly thin and in shape. Be sure to check out my books: Beginning of a Hero and Prodigy of Rainbow Tower on Amazon Kindle.
Filed under: Guest Posts Tagged: Beginning of a Hero, guest, Humor, Legends of Windemere, Prodigy of Rainbow Tower, Yallowitz
Free Weekend for Beginning of a Hero
Reblogged from readful things blog:
First, thank you to Ionia for letting me post about this on her blog. I'm being extremely careful here. Every squirrel and cupcake will be left where I found them.
Legends of Windemere: Beginning of a Hero will be free for the entire weekend. This is to celebrate the debut of Legends of Windemere: Prodigy of Rainbow Tower, which is still priced at .99 cents for the month of August.
Free weekend!
August 1, 2013
The Paperbook Collective ~ Issue One 2013.
Reblogged from Fiction Favorites :
The Paperback Collective ~ Issue One 2013 edited by Jayde-Ashe. It is really worth having a look. Great stories and a killer layout.
This is so cool. Great place for submissions for more exposure. Producers/publishers have done a lot of creative work.
Opinions on Opinions by S.K. Nicholls
Reblogged from Green Embers Recommends:
I first want to thank Green Embers Recommends for inviting on board as a guest. He reviews two of my favorite things very well: books and movies. His opinions are spot on and I am always eager to see what new reviews he has to share.
We have some wonderful authors in our WordPress community who recently published books, and many who have had their books out for a while now.
Anyone interested in being a critic should check this out! Opinions Matter!
July 31, 2013
81. It's just an expression.
English is a beautiful language. Not because it is rhythmic or melodic or filled with words that slip off your tongue like caresses. No. English is a beautiful language because it’s a bloody mess. It’s a quilt made up of random scraps. A potluck dinner of a language. One of those cocktails students make by mixing every drink they have together in a hollowed out watermelon.
This is so cool. I love this stuff :)
What to do if... Your Book has been Pirated
Reblogged from DANIELLE TAYLOR:
Thanks to the DIGITAL MILLENNIUM COPYRIGHT ACT we have a way of protecting ourselves. I've used the form below to get all stolen and pirated copies of my books removed and I'll keep using it. This may not work for you, but I hope it does.
SAMPLE DMCA TAKE DOWN NOTICE
My name is (INSERT NAME) and I am the (INSERT TITLE - AUTHOR is what I use) of (INSERT COMPANY NAME - I put my book title here).
Great Info and form for authors.
Red Clay and Roses (Book Review)
Reblogged from Green Embers Recommends:
Book Title: Red Clay and Roses
Author: S.K. Nicholls
Book Page Count: 316
Disclaimer: This was an eBook purchased by me from Barnes & Noble
Description: Set in the Deep South during a period of civil unrest, Red Clay and Roses is a fictional account of a true story. The discovery of an old ledger opens a window into life in a time when women were supposed to keep quiet and serve, abortion was illegal, adoption difficult, and racism rampant.
Another awesome review :)
July 30, 2013
Legends of Windemere: Prodigy Of Rainbow Tower by Charles Yallowitz debuts July 31st
Book Cover Artist: Jason Pedersen
THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE SERIES BOOK #2 MAKES ITS DEBUT ON AMAZON!!!
“PRODIGY OF RAINBOW TOWER”
CHARLES YALLOWITZ
Book Description:
The action-packed, humor-filled, dramatic sequel to ‘Legends of Windemere: Beginning of a Hero’.
Battling through a demonic assassin and an army of monsters, Luke Callindor has survived his time at Hamilton Military Academy. Now, Luke and his friends must leave the safety of the academy to escort Duke Solomon’s heir down the L’dandrin River and into the safety of the city of Gods’ Voice. Joining them for this journey is Nyx, a powerful caster apprentice of Rainbow Tower. With her talent for combat magic and her short temper, Nyx will prove to be a challenge for Luke and all of their enemies.
Who will survive the harrowing trip down the L’dandrin River? And, who will be the one to break Luke’s trust?
Legends of Windemere Series
Add Book Two “Prodigy of Rainbow Tower” to your Goodreads list here.
The Amazon link for Book One, “Beginning of a Hero” is here.
You can find my 5 Star review of Book One: “Beginning of a Hero” here.
This is debut day, so get it while it’s hot!
Filed under: Book Reviews and Books
Cover Reveal for Crashing Back Down!!
Reblogged from Author Kristen Hope Mazzola:
It is finally here and I am so glad to be able to share my wonderful cover with everyone!! It was made by: Cover It! Design! Yay!! The release date is still TBA but I will keep everyone posted! :D What do you all think?!
Crashing Back Down (Crashing, #1)
Mags McManus has just become a war widow in her mid-twenties.
Cover reveal for up and coming debut author! Stay tuned.
A Girl Named Cord by Briana Vedsted, Available Now!!!
Book Cover Image Art by Dirk Porsche
A Girl Named Cord by Briana Vedsted will be published on Amazon.com July 31st, 2013 as both a paperback and an eBook.
Book description: Cord had to work hard to earn her living as a cow puncher, and she was getting along just fine until a wealthy rancher moves into the county and threatens the lives of her and her friends. Cord rises up to meet every challenge, but the death of friends, both old and new, plague her at every turn. And just when everything seems like it is going to go back to being peacefully normal, a secret comes to light, putting Cord and her future family in danger. Will Cord let go of her sorrow filled past and revengeful wishes long enough to save her loved ones and pull her life back out of the bottomless pit it seems to be stuck in?
“But let me tell you this: peace in the heart is much more comforting than blood in the sand.“
Find out more about Briana on her blog, http://whenibecameanauthor.wordpress.com/
And check out Briana’s other books:
The Night I walked off of Boot Hill
and
The Untold story of Margaret Hearst
Filed under: Uncategorized
