Zachary Katz-Stein's Blog, page 8

Grief, Mindfulness Practice, and the Importance of Taking Care of Yourself

This article was written for the Yoga on the Lake March Newsletter in which I am the featured teacher. I’m proud of it and so wanted to share it with you all. 

When I was five my father was diagnosed with brain cancer. He died when I was fourteen. His birthday was October 20th and he died on November 5th. Every year since his death I’ve experienced what I call my “season of grief.”

Starting in early September I begin to feel…off. I sleep less, it’s a little harder to focus, my temper is a little shorter, and I feel generally “on edge” more often. These symptoms start slowly, then ramp up until we reach my “dark days” – the two week period between his birthday and his death day. After this peak, my symptoms slowly recede.

Last year was the ninth time I’ve experienced this cycle. I knew it was coming and I knew how to take care of myself. I knew that I would experience intermittent hours of grief and sadness, but I also knew that if I included a mindfulness practice (like yoga or meditation) in my daily routine that these periods would be shorter and the spaces in between more joyful.

I knew that I have a tendency to over book my time. I find it difficult to say “no” when people ask me to do things. It’s not just that I don’t want to let them down – it’s that I fear I’m lazy, or will become lazy. For most of my life I bought into the idea (so prevalent in our culture) that rest days are wasted days. However, during my “season of grief,” and my “dark days” in particular, I am very conscientious about only taking on the amount of work I can handle and giving myself plenty of time to rest and feel. I also eat more carefully and do my best to ensure I get enough sleep.

I other words: for these few weeks, I truly take care of myself.

Until very recently, the rest of the year…well I wasn’t bad at taking care of myself. I consistently worked to the point of collapsed, but almost never really exceeded my limits. I ate decently (if not well), made a best faith effort to get enough sleep, and practiced yoga maybe 2-3 times per week. Again, not bad, but slowly, over the last couple years, I’ve begun to ask the question: why don’t I take care of myself all the time the way I do in the fall?

The simple answer is: it’s hard.

It’s hard to resist staying up late watching TV, to say “no” to things you want to do when you know you shouldn’t, to make it to your mat instead of taking a nap. It’s a challenge that’s made all the harder because sometimes you really need that nap, or you feel like really living life should include some sleepless nights (which might even be true). However, for me at least, that’s where yoga comes in.

Not too long ago the inestimable Jessica Warren told me that she practiced everyday because it “wasn’t worth it to not practice.” It’s taken me a little while to fully understand those words – or least it’s taken a little while to understand that they apply to me with at least equal force.

For the last month I’ve been paying close attention to my mental and physical health. When I practice consistently (as in every day or almost every day), it’s easier to do the things I should. I keep myself and my home cleaner, I crave healthier foods, I have more energy, and I work on my novels (oh yeah, another piece of background: I write books) more readily. When I don’t practice things tend to get a little shakier.

That’s not to say yoga is the only way to do this. Meditation, or another mindfulness practice, would work just as well for the mental benefits – though they wouldn’t make you physically fit at the same time.

The benefits of mindfulness practices are well documented, so, if you’re curious about them, I would strongly encourage you to try to incorporate one into your routine. As a yoga teacher, I am, perhaps, biased towards yoga, but really any mindfulness practice or combination of practices will work. Commit to these practices for a week – or a month, or a year – and see the changes they make in your life. Is it easier to take care of yourself? Or to do the things you know you should?

I hope so.

I hope you find the peace and joy a mindfulness practice can bring. I hope you reach to point where it’s simply not worth it to skip a day in your practice.

Just remember: It’s a process. We take two steps forward, one step back. Be disciplined, but also be kind to yourself.

The light in me greets the light in you.

Namaste,

Zac

A Declaration of Intent: The Edge Walker Release Date Schedule for 2014

In the not too distant past I found myself sitting on a comfortable leather sofa in California discussing my budding writing career with my mother.

“That’s what’s always worked for you before, right? Writing a little bit everyday – slow but steady progress?” she said, then laughed a little. “At least that’s what got your first book finished. Your second book was done in the frantic dash of NaNoWriMo.”

I laughed and agreed.

Both strategies (writing a little every day and writing like a crazy person for an extended, but limited, amount of time) have worked for me in the past. Each have their strengths and weaknesses, yet it’s hard to commit fully to either. Writing a little everyday, as I have been, is too slow and uncertain. It’s too easy to say, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” Writing like I’m competing in NaNoWriMo is a little too intense for me to realistically sustain while still earning a living.

So, I thought, why not try to combine the best qualities of each?

One of the best things about NaNoWriMo is that it holds you accountable. There’s a word counter on their Website that you can (and should) update every day. When you do, it shows you how much progress you’ve made, how much you still have to go, and how many words per day you need to write to meet your goal.

The best things about writing every day are: it’s habit forming, soul nourishing, and I can make visible progress while still living a full life.

Therefore, I’ve decided to create (and publish) a timeline for my current writing projects – both so you, my readers, know what to expect, and to hold myself accountable.

Here are the schedules for:

The Grey Heir (Second Edition)

I’ve decided to have new character portraits commissioned for the second edition of The Grey Heir. I will have the character descriptions to my artist by March 31st, so she can have the sketches done by May 31st.

I am also thinking about having The Grey Heir professionally proofread (rather than read by friends, family, and myself over and over and over). I will decide on a proofreader and have the manuscript to them by April 15th so he or she can have it finished by May 15th.

I will have the cover done by May 15th.

If I decide to get (or make) a book release trailer, it will be done by May 21st.

The Grey Heir Second Edition will be available on June 1st.

The Exile

The second book in The Edge Walker Chronicles is called The Exile.

I will have the first draft of this book done by May 15th.

I will then do a very quick clean-up rewrite myself and give it to beta readers by June 15th. The beta readers will have one month to read the book and give me feedback.

I will make large revisions to The Exile and clean up the prose as much as I can by August 31st.

The Exile will then go to a professional editor. Most editors have a two to three week turn around time, but I’ll allot the entire month of September for the editing process.

On October 1st the cover art will be done completed and I will start working on the editor’s comments.

On November 15th the cover and manuscript will be complete.

On December 1st the book release trailer will be released.

The Exile will be available as an ebook and in print on December 15th.

 

These are my goals. One of the lessons I’ve learned in the last year is that quality is key. If I feel I’ll be releasing a substandard product on either of these released dates, I will push them back. However, I feel that I can meet these dates and look forward to sharing my work with all of you.

The Grey Heir 2nd Edition UPDATE: Cover Artist Done End of January

Good morning blog friends,

Just a quick update today. Unfortunately, the last proof of The Grey Heir (my self-published novel) was not destined to be published. In the words of Lisa Berger, a friend of the family, “It looks like a proof.”

So, I’m having a real digital artist work on it (instead of trying to do everything myself!).

It should hopefully be done by the end of January, and then the book will be out shortly after that.

Keep the faith, my friends, slow but steady progress is being made!

Please God Let This Be The Last Proof

I have finally fixed the cover for the print edition of The Grey Heir (again), and have ordered another proof copy.

This will be the fourth proof I’ve ordered, but, with luck, it will be the last. By the grace of God (not to mention createspace) I’ll finally be ready to put the print copy out there for sale.

Here’s what the third proof cover looked like compared to the second:

I think it’s a pretty huge improvement, but it’s wasn’t quite perfect.

Can you spot the imperfections?

The Day after NanoWrimo…or, rather Nine Days After…

Nanowrimo is officially over and, while I didn’t win, it has gotten me back into the habit of writing every day (though you wouldn’t know it from this blog).

I’ve been making good progress on Book 2 in The Edge Walker Chronicles and am closing in on finishing the second edition of The Grey Heir – I’m just sorting out some cover issues.

Today’s favorite line:

“Alright,” he said, “eager youth triumphs over cautious age, we’ll stick around for a few days and see what we can find. But,” he added, “turning to face Oresk and Zephyr, you lads are going to have to do more than sit and twiddle your thumbs.”

“Like what?” Oresk asked dubiously.

“You’re going to learn to fly.”

Talk to you tomorrow!

Zac

NanoWriMo Day 24

Although it’s still remotely possible that I can win Nano, it’s gone from “pretty unlikely” to “extremely unlikely.”

I’ve written about 30,000 words this month, so if I wanted to win I’d need to write 20,000 words in 6 days. Again, not impossible, but also not very likely.

So, I may lose NanoWriMo this year. It’s a little sad, but hey, it did get me writing everyday again (I have literally written every single day so far this month), and it’s given me high word count goals to shoot for, so – even if I may not win – I definitely got something out of it and had lots of fun.

And, who knows? Maybe a miracle will happen and I’ll write 4,000 words a day. It could happen.

Stay tuned friends

NanoWriMo Day 20

Well, so much for posting everyday…or even every week…oops.

The good news is I have been writing everyday. I’m still a little behind, but I think I’m going to make it (word count wise anyway).

As for the book I was working on, I decided I wasn’t in a place where I could finish it (aka I don’t know enough about the Appalachian Trail or Brat Camps).

See if you can spot my solution to this problem in the line below.

“Nothing,” the strange man said, dancing with glee. “That’s the miracle of it. Huge flaming rocks flying around and the most valuable warehouse in the place is completely untouched! It’s a miracle!”

Take a guess what’s that’s from in the comments below

NanoWriMo Day 10

“That’s good,” I said, “I was going to offer to kiss it to make it all better, but since it’s doing so well…”

“Ahhh!” she said, replacing her hand, “What I meant to say was ‘oh the pain!’”

NanoWriMo Day 8: How did we get here already?

I am very behind (about 3,000 words now) – as might be implied by the fact that I skipped from “Day 3″ to “Day 8.”

The good news is that I have been writing every day. The bad news is I have not been writing 1,667 words.

My deficit is by no means insurmountable and I’m still going for the victory, it’s just not looking good at the moment.

Here’s my favorite line from today’s session:

“Together we danced wildly around the fire while Alice laughed, Derek snored, and Shy interrogated Alton about his various color changes. “

NanoWriMo Day 9 Favorite Line

“Do you like food?” Andy asked from just up the trail. Both girls paused to look at her as Andy continued, “Because I rather enjoyed breakfast this morning and wouldn’t relish another three day fast…” She smacked her lips and looked up at the sky, “Hmm, relish sounds tasty right now.”