Alexander McKinney's Blog, page 9
August 16, 2013
Good and Bad (Mostly Bad) Ways to Fill Your Empty Soul: #3 Teach Your Friends How to Cook!
What it Entails:
By this point in time you’ve learned how to cook and mastered the art of acquiring the kitchen tools you need from those around you. It is essential that you have several good recipes that make use of esoteric cooking items. I recommend an industrial raclette grill, a wood-fired pizza oven and a candy thermometer. These are all items that will not be found in your average friend’s kitchen.
Teach your friends how to make exquisite dishes with them. Raclette, pizza, and candies or deep fried goodness. Lace these dishes with intense quantities of caffeine to get them addicted. Stop making them.
Let the agony build in your friends until they need these dishes again. Let them come over and cook them for you. Every fifth dish or so secretly spike it with that caffeine that they so crave.
Pros:
1. Now you have kitchen minions!
2. More time to go back to theft and skulking, darks hobbies that you are now addicted to from your time left learning how to cook.
3. No more grocery bills as your friends bring over ingredients.
Cons:
1. Must teach friends how to cook.
2. Must spend time with people.
3. Criminal enterprises at risk of discovery due to extra human contact.
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August 13, 2013
Good and Bad, Mostly Bad, Ways to Fill Your Empty Soul: #2 Cooking
Learn to Cook!
What it Entails:
Cooking good food at home can be expensive. There several factors to consider, the new pots and pans or other esoteric items that you might want, I’m still looking for a “Danish Dough Whisk.” Then there are the recipe books, you can of course use a recipe off of the internet, but it’s not as fun. Then there are the ingredients. Quality food requires quality ingredients.
Assuming you live on a budge how do you afford all of this? Theft. Almost all of us have a black shirt, black pants and black shoes. If you’re lucky you also have a black mask. If not you’ll need to “Procure one.”
Theft is itself an art, which will require that you improve your physical fitness and learn how to move silently. There are other lesser skills that would serve you well in this new endeavor, lock picking and surveillance come to mind. It may be worthwhile to enroll in a course to get your private investigators license to help with these worthy goals.
Pros:
1. Learn the fine art of theft.
2. Better food at home!
3. Your friends (if you have any) will get fatter, and as humans measure they’re happiness through the misery of others, as they get fatter, you get happier. Everyone wins, or at least you do.
Cons:
1. You may get fatter due to the succulent food that now graces your table.
2. You may feel obligated to feed others, lessening your social isolation.
3. Possible significant financial outlay for the cost of a P.I. course.
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Good and Bad (Mostly Bad) Ways to Fill Your Empty Soul: #2 Cooking
Learn to Cook!
What it Entails:
Cooking good food at home can be expensive. There several factors to consider, the new pots and pans or other esoteric items that you might want, I’m still looking for a ‘Danish Dough Whisk.’ Then there are the recipe books, you can of course use a recipe off of the internet, but it’s not as fun. Then there are the ingredients. Quality food requires quality ingredients.
Assuming you live on a budge how do you afford all of this? Theft. Almost all of us have a black shirt, black pants and black shoes. If you’re lucky you also have a black mask. If not you’ll need to ‘procure one.’
Theft is itself an art, which will require that you improve your physical fitness and learn how to move silently. There are other lesser skills that would serve you well in this new endeavor, lock picking and surveillance come to mind. It may be worthwhile to enroll in a course to get your private investigators license to help with these worthy goals.
Pros:
1. Learn the fine art of theft.
2. Better food at home!
3. Your friends (if you have any) will get fatter, and as humans measure they’re happiness through the misery of others, as they get fatter, you get happier. Everyone wins, or at least you do.
Cons:
1. You may get fatter due to the succulent food that now graces your table.
2. You may feel obligated to feed others, lessening your social isolation.
3. Possible significant financial outlay for the cost of a P.I. course.
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August 12, 2013
Good and Bad, Mostly Bad, Ways to Fill Your Empty Soul: #1 Take Up Hiking
Hiking!
What It Entails:
Hiking is an activity that is inviting to the non-hiker. All you need to get started are a set of new boots, hiking sunglasses, emergency safety kit, tradition Irish walking staff/club, pepper spray, collection of knives, portable water purification system and a compass. Once you’ve picked these items you can conquer trails in your vicinity.
Pros:
1. Exercise
2. Depending on your skill with your pepper spray or knives you may end up as lunch for a prowling grizzly or mountain lion, ending your existence
3. Hiking can be solitary, avoiding the need for person to person contact
Cons:
1. Equipment can be expensive
2. People may want to come with you, resulting in dreaded person to person contact
3. Lack of sanitary washrooms with delightful hand creams, similarly recent reports indicate a total lack of butler service
The post Good and Bad, Mostly Bad, Ways to Fill Your Empty Soul: #1 Take Up Hiking appeared first on Good and Bad, Mostly Bad, Ways to Fill Your Empty Soul.
Good and Bad (Mostly Bad) Ways to Fill Your Empty Soul: #1 Take Up Hiking
Hiking!
What It Entails:
Hiking is an activity that is inviting to the non-hiker. All you need to get started are a set of new boots, hiking sunglasses, emergency safety kit, tradition Irish walking staff/club, pepper spray, collection of knives, portable water purification system and a compass. Once you’ve picked these items you can conquer trails in your vicinity.
Pros:
1. Exercise
2. Depending on your skill with your pepper spray or knives you may end up as lunch for a prowling grizzly or mountain lion, ending your existence
3. Hiking can be solitary, avoiding the need for person to person contact
Cons:
1. Equipment can be expensive
2. People may want to come with you, resulting in dreaded person to person contact
3. Lack of sanitary washrooms with delightful hand creams, similarly recent reports indicate a total lack of butler service
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August 9, 2013
Elysium Movie Review – Warning Spoilers
The movie Elysium, did I enjoy it? Yes.
Did it make sense? Only if you don’t prod it too hard.
From the trailers you learn that this is a movie about Haves vs. Have Nots. The thing that the Haves possess which is most coveted by the Have Nots is a table which can heal almost any wound in a matter of seconds. This drives the movie, but it doesn’t make sense.
No reason is ever given for why this ‘healing table’ technology isn’t shared. The table doesn’t appear to be expensive to operate, and one is in each home on Elysium which indicates that it’s not expensive to own. At that point why the technology isn’t shared becomes a big question. The table also seemed to youthen people, which could lead to rapid overpopulation, but if that was the reason why not explicitly state it? A hospital on earth is shown where they even comment on how they don’t have these tables, that would have been the perfect time to explain why they don’t, but it’s just passed by. Lack of access to these tables is what propels the plot movie forward, this is a major mistake.
Then let’s look at Elysium itself. It’s a massive space habitat that has all of its production done on Earth. That doesn’t make any sense. If you have the technology to make a massive space habitat then you have the technology to create manufacturing facilities in space, and there are incentives to do so. Limitless solar energy for heat and electricity, limitless cold, which has many applications during materials fabrication and a free vacuum environment provided courtesy of the solar system. These are three of the most expensive inputs for complex manufacturing processes, all provided free of charge. That’s compelling.
After that consider that there are computer drones used in law enforcement. These drones move quickly, they are coordinated and have some form of A.I., why aren’t they working in the factories? They’d never miss a shift, and they wouldn’t make mistakes like humans. Oh, and they’d never take sick days.
Elysium is about the Haves vs. the Have Nots, but when you scratch the surface there doesn’t appear to be any good reason for the existence of the two classes with anything like the disparity seen in the movie.
Recap, Elysium was a fun movie and worth watching, but like so many Sci-Fi films you have to ignore the gaping plot holes that so frequently could be closed with ten or fewer lines of dialogue.
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June 20, 2013
Keystones Review
I’ve been sent a link to a review for Keystones: Altered Destinies, the review is positive, so of course the reviewer is a genius who everyone should love.
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June 18, 2013
Don’t Be a Hero: A Superhero Novel
This is hands down one of the best Superhero novels I’ve ever read. Some of the powers are fantastic or just creepy, and Chris Strange has done a fantastic job of creating a fresh and interesting world where superpowered humans, ‘metas’ have existed for decades and have been uneasily absorbed into society.
I liked the gritty feel of the novel, it had noir elements that I enjoyed but the realism is what drew me in. On the face of it, that sounds silly when said about a novel that is about people with impossible powers, but I liked the motivations and shortcomings of the characters.
The book cover and the description fail to entice, or do justice to the storyline. Had I not picked the book up for a free promotion, I never would have read it. It doesn’t look compelling, and that’s a flaw that needs to be fixed.
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June 14, 2013
Man of Steel: Review – No Spoilers
In a previous post I listed 10 criteria that I wanted met by Man of Steel. Here’s how the movie did against them:
1. An engaging but succinct origin story. Lack of brevity is forgivable if it’s engaging enough.
Check! The origin story was outstanding. Krypton was shown to be an alien world with an alien society built on alien technology. It was brilliantly done. Arguably the entire movie is an origins story, but that’s in no way a bad thing.
2. An explanation for how Kal-El comes to terms with his powers and learns how to use them.
Check! Done very well and quickly, not as one big whack, but broken into little chunks.
3. A quasi-believable relationship with Lois Lane. I don’t want a ridiculous love at first sight situation.
Check! Fantastic job done creating the relationship between Lois & Clark. I couldn’t have been more pleased.
4. A situation where it’s reasonable within comic canon that Superman is properly challenged so that he can use his powers.
Check! This isn’t a huge surprise as he was facing other Kryptonians, but still, credit where credit is due.
5. A solution to the plot that is consistent with what was seen in the movie up until then.
Check! The solution while not brilliant, did meet my criteria.
6. A few scenes with epic superpower eye candy. This is critical, why else watch a Superman movie?
Check! Check! Check! There were a boatload of scenes where Kal-El was using his powers and looking cool doing so.
7. Tough grey area choices made by Kal-El.
Check! I can’t say what they were without compromising the movie, but Kal-El had to make choices that he didn’t like.
8. A lack of the obvious plot holes that scriptwriters seem to feel obligated to put in the vast majority of superhero movies. This is also critical.
I’ll give this a half check. There were plot holes, but I don’t know how important they’ll be to the average movie goer. Zod’s overall motivation wasn’t in question, but I didn’t see a need for him to be in direct conflict with Kal-El which damages the movie if you overthink it. Likewise the reasons that led up to Kryptons destruction, while given great scenes were silly.
9. People being amazed by the idea of an alien invasion and by the idea of an alien living secretly on earth. The question of ‘are we alone’ has been answered. This is a big question and should be appreciated as such.
Check! This wasn’t done in a huge way, but it was done.
10. Superman could be a franchise that puts out movie after movie, this is number six; there is a proven public demand. Whatever the lead in is to hint at a direction for movie seven, it would be nice if it wasn’t too damn obvious.
Check! This was done very well. The movie set itself up nicely for a sequel without being overbearing about it.
Based on my pre-movie criteria I’ll happily give Man Of Steel 9/10
A few quibbles aside, the movie plot is solid, I enjoyed that acting and the visuals were amazing.
This is a movie I’ll be seeing again, and years from now it’s a movie that I’ll stop the tv on when flipping through channels.
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June 13, 2013
10 Things I Want to See in Man of Steel
1. An engaging but succinct origin story. Lack of brevity is forgivable if it’s engaging enough.
2. An explanation for how Kal-El comes to terms with his powers and learns how to use them.
3. A quasi-believable relationship with Lois Lane. I don’t want a ridiculous love at first sight situation.
4. A situation where it’s reasonable within comic canon that Superman is challenged.
5. A solution to the plot that is consistent with what was seen in the movie up until then.
6. A few scenes with epic superpower eye candy. This is critical, why else watch a Superman movie?
7. Tough grey area choices made by Kal-El.
8. A lack of the obvious plot holes that scriptwriters seem to feel obligated to put in the vast majority of superhero movies. This is also critical.
9. People being amazed by the idea of an alien invasion and by the idea of an alien living secretly on earth. The question of ‘are we alone’ has been answered. This is a big question and should be appreciated as such.
10. Superman could be a franchise that puts out movie after movie, this is number six; there is a proven public demand. Whatever the lead in is to hint at a direction for movie seven, it would be nice if it wasn’t too damn obvious.
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