Lisa M. Buske's Blog, page 114

Celebrating TWENTY years of Marriage!

As I thought of how to share our 20th wedding anniversary with all of you today, I found myself at a loss. I could tell you stories of before our marriage, the early years, or even some from this past weekend. I was given advice from my Auntie M on my wedding day: If you get through the first year, then you can get through anything. No one knew in August of 93' that in eight short months, the journey of loss would begin. By the time August 21st, 1994 rolled around we were exhausted, grieved, and functioning on auto pilot.

A fact many of you may not know, unless you read my book, Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey, is this -- I was NOT the woman most saw outside the house. It was only because of my husband, Ed, and my parents that I functioned and made it through each day. At the time there was no God in our home or family - we blamed Him for taking Heidi. If you've ever tried to do anything on your own, without God's strength and help, you know it's only a matter of time. I'm grateful for Ed's support, he bore it all for me. I knew my parents experienced their greatest loss, the loss of a child, and worse yet - this child is missing. After ten years I released Ed of the burden and gave it all to God. A great decision, if you want the whole story, you'll have to get your copy of Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey from Amazon.com. Another aspect of our anniversary I could share with you is receiving the annual wedding gift from my mother and father-in-law. They always gave us something to represent the symbol for that year's anniversary. For our first anniversary, they gifted us Mickey Mouse paper products so I wouldn't have to do dishes for a week! Loved it! This year, our twentieth anniversary is "china". We won't be receiving any china this year, at least not from Ed's parents. Both are celebrating life in Heaven with Jesus now. So in honor of them and this year's symbolic gift, china, I'll use my Aunt Kay's china with our anniversary dinner, whenever that is.

So with no stories to tell, I'll share a few pics of Ed and I through the years. I'm not sure who the young and skinny couple is but I know they are the same two people who fell in love twenty years ago. The only difference, we have ample life experiences uniting and bonding us together for life. We look forward to each day here on earth and our time together in eternity. Happy Anniversary Ed!

TOP's Tuesday: Which "Hat" Do YOU Prioritize?

This summer has been different than in years past. The majority of last summer was spent editing, writing, re-writing, and preparing for the publication of my book, Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey. This summer was spent relaxing and enjoying my family, well, for the most part. I did well for an "Allen", we like to "putter" as my Dad always says. This daughter is like her Daddy, this is for sure.

I'm still writing. I've spoke a few times to different groups, and now I'm scheduling into October and November. Praise God, my weekends in September are full with the exception of our "Family Weekend", so they are all booked. God, then family, and then sharing hope through my writing and speaking.

As a wife, mother, daughter, friend, relative, and daughter to the King -- I wear many different hats. In addition to these six, there are hats for teacher, speaker, author, mentor, mentee, walker, cleaner, youth leader, secretary, and probably others I'm drawing a blank on at the moment.

The One Hat I am called to wear is the one displaying my faith. To wear this hat with integrity, honesty, and proudly helps to fuse all the other hats into one. I may be all those things but in the end, it's only the wreath representing my faith that will matter and keeps the multitude of other hats I wear securely fitted to my life.

I've missed my sister a lot this week, not sure why. TOP's Tuesday started to keep you up to date with upcoming events and the publishing of Where's Heidi?. So here is a little news and dates for your calendars. Book Signings Mondays through the end of September
New Haven Town Farmer's Market
Route 104, New Haven, New York
4 p.m. - 7 p.m.

Saturday October 26th 11 a.m.
Lowville Public Library
Lowville, New York
To schedule an event
and/or book signing: lbuskewriter@aol.com Speaking Engagements
Open to the Public Saturday October 26th 11 a.m.
Lowville Public Library
Lowville, New York

Sunday November 24th, 2013
First Baptist Church of Baldwinsville
Baldwinsville, New York
During Sunday worship service with a presentation afterward (books available for sale and signing too)

"Every athlete exercises self-control in all things.
They do it to receive a perishable wreath,
but we an imperishable."
1 Corinthians 9:25 (ESV)

It's okay to wear a multitude of hats yet the one you
prioritize is vital to "who" you are ~ wear it proud!

The Family Reunion ~ One Way to Stay Connected

Each August I am blessed with a day full of fun, family, and memories; memories of years past and those made throughout the day. A few years ago my mother-in-law started a new tradition to release balloons for our family members who passed away and couldn't be with us for the party. This is one way we remember and reflect on our family who helped to make us the men and women we are today.

I'll never forget the tears trickling down my mother-in-law's cheeks as she said "I'll see you again one day Bob." and released her balloon that first year. Her husband, best friend, and father to her children ~ who left us too soon. But then I think to lose a parent (or parent-in-law) is always too soon.

This year, we release a balloon in memory of my mother-in-law, Norine, too. An event she created to help us remember. An tribute to our heritage. One way to remember those who made us who we are today. There are always many balloons released by the different generations in attendance. Each loved one is remembered and honored as we watch the balloons lift to heaven ~ a way to say "Hello" and "You're always remembered" to our loved ones already passed on. This was Mom B's hope, a tradition carried in this year, with one balloon just for her from her kids and kid-in-laws.

Her balloon won't travel solo. There will be balloons in memory of her two brothers that passed this year too. We, the family, will gather and celebrate our connections. Most connected through a blood line while yet ALL family! A great day ahead.

Do you take a moment to remember your family who have passed away at your family reunion and/or family gathering? If so, how? What is your favorite aspect of the family reunion? Why?

More Than Wood...It's a Representation of a Father's Love

Within our home are various items my dad made for me starting at only a few months old. The four-tier shelf in our bathroom is signed and dated, 1971, a few months after I was born. A small bookend shelf holds my morning devotion books, dated when I was still yet a toddler. Various little hand crafted pieces reflecting the love of a father for his daughter, created and designed with no motive other than to express  this love.

"You've kept track of my every toss and turn 
through the sleepless nights,
each tear entered in Your ledger, 
each ache written in your book." 
Psalm 56:8 MSG

Through the years the projects slowed as Dad's work schedule increased to pay bills and provide for his family. He still puttered on things here and there yet the time wasn't there to do as much as he wished.

After the loss of a loved one, each family member responds differently. Some bury themselves in their work, hobbies, or whatever their vice is to avoid the pain and loss. Then there are those that quit doing what they love because there doesn't seem to be a purpose. I know Ed and I took less vacations because I didn't want to leave in case Heidi called or was found.

Dad's puttering transitioned to tools collecting dust until a few years ago. In December 2010 I spoke for the first time at a community outreach event. It was fabulous on so many levels. I learned to focus my thoughts, pray more diligently, and trust 100% on Him. Since that first Thursday evening at the Believer's Chapel North, Mexico, New York -- I have shared with women's groups, Bible study groups, on Sunday mornings as a guest speaker, to teachers, and local organizations.

"Love is patient, 
love is kind. 

It does not envy,  
it does not boast, 
it is not proud. 
It is not rude, 
it is not self-seeking, 
it is not easily angered, 
it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil 
but rejoices with the truth. 

It always protects, 
always trusts, 
always hopes,  
always perseveres. 
Love never fails." 
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, NIV

And these events have slowly increased the "projects" created at the hands of my parents. The motive behind each piece is the same, LOVE. The result is the same too, expressions of love from a father to his daughter.

The best part about this is Dad is sharing his talent with others. He creates visuals for me when I speak and even some trinkets for people to take with them. Dad does the designing, building, staining, and applies the apoxy. (Spelling, lol) Mom designs and wood burns, or paints, in the details.

To write and speak is truly a family affair ~ all for the love and memory of Heidi and to share hope with others who might not realize there is hope after loss and tragedy.

Dad recently brought home this very cool wood, with red in the rings. I asked him what he planned to do with it. His response, "I don't know but it's pretty." Each time I visited him in the wood shop I looked at the wood and we brain stormed things he could build or ways to utilize the wood so the beauty within would be highlighted and useful. Our first thought, a foot stool. I put in my request and asked if he would make me a stool for Christmas this year. He said, "No, I don't think so."

Guess what? He is just sneaky - today, I brought home my stool. It's angled so I can rest my feet while balancing my laptop on my lap. He is so clever. No wonder he was measuring my legs and angle while sitting. Some might wonder, "Why didn't you ask?" One thing I've learned, and do myself, when we are asking peculiar questions - someone is "up to no good" to surprise you. I never thought it would be the stool yet I'm so glad it is. It's almost too pretty to put your feet on though! lol 

THANK YOU DAD!!!!

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me.
Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.
But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

Where do you rest your feet after a long or tough day?

What Is Your Favorite Blog?

I have a few ideas running through my head for the future. This blog came to be in July 2010, more than three years later ~ this online journal, sharing with all of you, and interacting with you -- has become a daily routine I look forward to. Thank you so much for remembering Heidi, encouraging me, and sharing Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey with your friends and family ~ everyone needs to know there is hope.

I'm seeking your feedback today ~ Do you have a favorite blog? A favorite and/or recurring theme? A favorite aspect of the blog itself? How or why the blog encourages you? If you could title one blog for me to write, what would it be?

Looking forward to hearing your comments, suggestions, and feedback. Two options to help:
Leave a comment to share your favorite blog and/or blog style
OR
use the survey question below.
Thank you in advance! You never know how your answers will be used... My Favorite Blog is... * Family Memories Goofiness of Life My Writing and Speaking Life Application of the Bible Other If Other please specify: * Submit

It's Indie Wednesday & TOP's Tuesday All in One

Over three years ago I made the mental decision to transition from a closet writer to a professional author. I attended a local Christian conference, The Christian Writers' Gathering at the Delta Lake Bible Conference, outside Rome, New York. I learned many important lessons in a few short days about writing, publishing, and speaking.

The lesson I would like to share is also a change in mind-set, or at least it was for me. I arrived at the conference on Thursday a "writer" but returned home on Saturday an "author". Until one of the presenters, author and speaker, Elaine W. Miller, mentioned this, I didn't realize there was a difference.

So, as any first-born author, I went to the dictionary.  Each word has multiple definitions with similar wording. I thought about creating a VENN diagram to show you the similarities and differences but then said, "No way, there are still a few weeks before school starts." so I chose a different format. writ·er  noun  
1. a person engaged in writing  books, articles, stories, etc., especially as an occupation or profession; an author or journalist. 


2. a clerk, scribe, or the like. 


3. a person who commits his or her thoughts, ideas, etc., to writing : an expert letter writer.  

4. (in a piece of writing) the author (used as a circumlocution for “I,” “me,” “my,” etc.): The writer wishes to state…. 

5. a person who writes  or is able to write : a writer in script.
http://dictionary.reference.com/ au·thor  noun  
1. a person who writes a novel, poem, essay, etc.; the composer of a literary work, as distinguished from a compiler, translator , editor, or copyist. 

2. the literary production or productions of a writer: to find a passage in an author. 

3. the maker of anything; creator; originator: the author of a new tax plan.  

4. Computers.  the writer of a software program, especially a hypertext or multimedia application.

author - VERB (used with object)  
5. to write; be the author of: He authored a history of the Civil War. 

6. to originate; create a design for: She authored a new system for teaching chemistry.
http://dictionary.reference.com/ The common ground is someone who writes. Do you agree? I thought so. The difference when comparing the definitions is slight yet important to note. AN AUTHOR isn't only "an engaged writer" but IS A PERSON WHO WRITES! "Author" is also listed as a VERB ~ a writer might be engaged in multiple writing projects, outlining, and dreams but an author IS WRITING!

To take this a step further, Elaine W. Miller ( http://splashesofserenity.com/), made it clear if I, or you, want anyone else to think of you as an "author" and not just a writer then we MUST COMMIT and BELIEVE and LIVE OUT an author's life -- actively writing and seeking publication, tracking hours used for "author" related activities, and prioritizing this path with family and friends. It is only when we view ourselves as an author that those around us will also change their perspective.

I remembering thinking, "This is a simple concept. Piece of cake." While the concept is simple, the application requires dedication, discipline, and focus. To help keep myself, and yourself, moving forward as an "author" ~ we need to surround ourselves with like-minded authors. One way to do this is through blogs, websites, writers' groups, and conferences. The Indie Life (direct link on photo to the left) is a valuable resource. One Wednesday a month, there is a blog hop/tour of various Indie (self-published) authors who share tidbits, pointers, lessons, and hindsight of an author's life. I'm blessed by the working relationships, friendships, and lessons I gain each month (and day when I have time) from the men and women setting aside time in their schedules to help other authors reach their goals. This month I decided to merge my weekly blog, TOPS Tuesday with today's Indie Life blog to model for other authors one way I utilize my blog to connect with my readers and share a  little of who I am and why I write.

Each Tuesday I have a blog titled after my sister, Heidi M. Allen, and her high school nickname from her stellar volleyball skills. She was named the "Tower of Power" by media, hence TOP's Tuesday.

My sister, Heidi, kidnapped on Easter Sunday 1994 remains missing today. I've written three books, all released this year. In January I released, When the Waves Subside: There is Hope. On April 3, the 19th anniversary of Heidi's disappearance, I released an inspirational nonfiction titled, Where's Heidi? One Sister's Journey. This summer I released an organization book to record important events and dates so you can encourage others, Encourage Others: One Day at a Time.

I mention news, updates, and upcoming events throughout the week on the blog when they come about yet there are many I save just for the Tuesday blog. My regular readers know if they are looking for upcoming events or anything new and exciting, it will be announced in Tuesday's blog. If you are new to blogging or looking for a new twist, I recommend a weekly blog series. The topic and format depends on your genre and purpose yet the goal is the same, to reach your readers and keep them reading.

Below is a list of The Indelibles: Indie Life participants. Each sharing wisdom to help us each reach our goals. I love to write and always have but as an adult, I'm an author! To be an author, one must believe & live as if he or she IS one.
To be "x", then you must believe and live as if you are a "x".
What is your "X"?
What are you doing to ensure this becomes a reality?

Your Birthday is Reason to Celebrate: You are Special

There are certain things you can count on happening each year: days that end with the letter “y”, changes in the weather, and your birthday. Some might claim, “We’re not guaranteed tomorrow, so a birthday isn’t a definite.” BUT, I disagree. Regardless of whether God grants you another year to celebrate your birthday or not – your birth date is always the day God chose to bless the world with your presence and is cause to rejoice and remember the miracle of the day. 

Do you know what that miracle is? It is YOU!

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand when I awake, I am still with you.
Psalm 139:13-18

A few years ago one of my friends treated me to lunch at my favorite Italian restaurant, Canales, located in Oswego, New York. The time, conversation, and food were wonderful. The nail-repair polish to start growing my nails were an answer to prayer. The words written included were priceless gems of Truth.


She wrote the usual “Happy Birthday”, “Glad we are friends”, and such within the card. It was the quote at the bottom of the card that meant the most to me. The best gift she gave me that day, a Bible verse.

 The verse she gifted me was Zephaniah 3:17. I wasn’t familiar with my Bible too much at the time. I’d never heard of this book but the words touched my heart. Since then, this has become one of my favorite books and verses. I found this to be the perfect birthday verse. God rejoices over us with singing! How cool is that? I know. Beth’s gift to me has carried through the years on a couple levels.

The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17

First, this is the verse you’ll find within your copy of Where’s Heidi? One Sister’s Journey when you purchase a signed copy from me. Secondly, on my birthday each year I look forward to the verse God will gift me for the next year. 

This morning as I read Our Daily Bread, the following verse spoke to my heart in a similar way as Zephaniah 3:17. A verse to write down, make a book mark, and treasure for the next 365 days, and possibly beyond.

My verse for this year:

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 
To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.
2 Peter 3:18

What do you count on each year when your birthday rolls around? In addition to my verse for the year, I look forward to dinner with my family. Usually we do lunch at Rudy’s for a fish hot with cheese, and French fries with cheese, but this year we are enjoying dinner at home. 

A HUGE thank you to my Mom for making today such a special day by spending her time preparing my favorite dinner treats, ice cream cake, and even some money for school sh0pping. Thanks to Ed and Mags for the Elmo and birthday balloons and always making me smile. It was a GREAT birthday! Thank you all! I pray you recognize the miracle you are,
cherish each day, and celebrate YOUR day.
Thanks for all the birthday wishes today!

What do you count on when your special day arrives?

No words tonight ~ only prayers and thoughts

Have a great weekend!

Happy Reunion Class of 1993...Especially Heidi's Classmates

Twice today I was reminded of another life celebration my sister, Heidi, has missed. Although her high school, Bishop Cunningham Jr./Sr. High School, closed before she and her classmates could walk across the stage and collect their diplomas. Declining enrollment and increased expenses cancelled Heidi's and the class of 1993's dreams of graduation ~ some would have been third generation alumni.

Nineteen years ago I thought about this but for other reasons. Heidi had a choice to make when the school announced its closing. She could return to her home district for senior year or apply for college admission a year early. Heidi's determination to reach her goals only increased when the opportunity to double up for one year to earn her high school diploma and first year's college credits at the same time. Not only was she accepted, she finished the year with honors.

Heidi disappeared in April 1994, she was set to graduate with her associate degree in May 1994 from OCC. Despite her motivation and drive, a second graduation was taken from her. The first due to finances and the second due to ???.

As Heidi's peers celebrate their twentieth class reunions with their friends in each of their home districts, I pray at some point this evening, Heidi is remembered on some level. Not on a depressing level but one of joyful remembrance. I'm thankful for Heidi's friends that remember me, keep me in the loop, and call me their friend too.

I send congratulations and prayers to the class of 1993! Have a great night and weekend. For those who knew Heidi ~ thank you for being a part of her life and high school memories. May you always remember Heidi, celebrate each moment, and cherish your loved ones. Thinking of you all this weekend.
Calling graduates of 93' ~ is there a memory of Heidi you would like to share with each other and Heidi's family?

Thank You for Remembering and Sharing...

Since the release of the my sister, Heidi M. Allen's updated age progression, to age thirty-eight, people have made contact with the Oswego County Sheriff's Department and Heidi's family.

We thank you all for remembering Heidi!

The family appreciates each call, email, and message about Heidi's case and the possible "tips" that may have been missed. If you remember, or know something, we encourage you to contact the Oswego County Sheriff's Department at email: jdillon@oswegocounty.com or via phone: 1-888-349-3411, 1-800-724-8477 or 315-349-3411.

Heidi's family has full confidence in the integrity of the Sheriff's department but understand not everyone agrees - if you aren't comfortable contacting the Sheriff's department directly, I've added a "Tip Line" to my website - this information goes directly to the family.

The family is asking for tips and case related information to go through law enforcement or the tip line (which goes to a family member) through my website.
Direct link by clicking on photo above or: http://www.lisambuske.com/tip-line.html

This is to ensure the safety and well-being of Heidi's family as the tips stir up much emotion. We know this isn't the intent when you share case related information, yet the sleepless nights from calls to family member homes brings back April 3, 1994 with intensity. We hope you understand we aren't pushing anyone away, just trying to maintain healthy boundries for all involved. Thank you again for sharing what you remember and respecting the privacy of Heidi's family in the process ~ your time, tips, and understanding is much appreciated.
We all have the same goal - to bring Heidi home!