Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 366

"I started taking heroin to get away from the draft, then joined...

"I started taking heroin to get away from the draft, then joined the army to get away from the heroin."

"I built this book cart after my bagpipes got stolen, because I...

"I built this book cart after my bagpipes got stolen, because I couldn’t afford a new set of bagpipes, and I needed to support myself. I used to sell teddy bears too. But one day last year, three undercover policeman showed up and took me to jail. It was just like a TV show— one was dressed like a rapper, the other like a hooker, and the other like a tourist. They said you need a permit to sell manufactured goods. You’re allowed to sell art, just not manufactured goods. I tried to tell them that my teddy bears were art because I dressed them and customized them. But all they said was: ‘You’re going to jail.’ I had to spend 2 days in jail. The judge threw out the case. But they never gave me back my teddy bears."

"What’s your favorite thing about your mother?""She loves...

"What’s your favorite thing about your mother?"
"She loves life more than anyone I’ve ever known. I hope she doesn’t mind me telling you this, but recently she’s had some health problems. And her health got so bad at one point, she called me and said: ‘I was starting to wonder if there was any reason to go on. But then I had the most delicious pear!’"

"I’m on the way to a magic meeting.""You’re a...

"I’m on the way to a magic meeting."
"You’re a magician?"
"Well, I’m a funeral director who does magic."
"So what happens at magic meetings?"
"We spend a few minutes conducting business. Then we get to the magic!"

"Do you mind if I…""Take it."

"Do you mind if I…"
"Take it."

"I went on a tour of Italy when I was younger, and when I saw...

"I went on a tour of Italy when I was younger, and when I saw The Coliseum in Rome, I said to myself: ‘It doesn’t look like I imagined.’ A stranger standing next to me thought I was talking to him. We got married exactly one year later."

"Toward the end, my father let me fill out his patient history...

"Toward the end, my father let me fill out his patient history forms at the hospital. It was the first time and last time he ever let me help him."

"I don’t want to live anymore."

"I don’t want to live anymore."

"Do you remember the saddest moment of your life?""The time I...

"Do you remember the saddest moment of your life?"
"The time I got closest to my dream, and had it pulled away."
"What happened?"
"I was down to the final two in an audition for the lead in a major TV show pilot. The network flew me out to Los Angeles. They put me up in a nice hotel and they introduced me to all of the executives. Everything felt perfect during the screen test. I thought I nailed it. Then right before I got on the plane back to New York, I got a call from my manager. He said the network thought I was ‘too nice’ for the role."

"Do you remember the angriest you’ve ever been?""A bunch...

"Do you remember the angriest you’ve ever been?"
"A bunch of guys on my football team bribed my RA to let them in my dorm room, held me down, and completely mummified me in duct tape. They covered my whole body in duct tape except for my blue Italian silk boxer shorts. Then they paraded me around campus."