Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 185

“We had five or six miscarriages before we had our daughter....

“We had five or six miscarriages before we had our daughter. She was a twin, but the other one miscarried. So we call her our miracle baby. I was forty when she was born. We were close in every way. We’d always go camping and hiking together. She’s always loved animals and creatures. When she was little, she’d always pick up snakes and frogs and insects. She begged us for a dog, and when we finally got her one, she called it her ‘sister.’ Now she’s in vet school in Ohio. She sends me pictures all the time. She delivered twin goats last week. I’m getting to the point where I’d like to retire, but I’m going to keep working until she’s in a place where she feels secure. Then I can finally relax. We paid for her undergrad already. She took out loans for vet school, and we’ve agreed she’s going to pay them back herself. But you know, just in case, I’m going to keep working until she feels secure. Then I can relax.”

“I distribute newspapers. I only planned on working for a few...

“I distribute newspapers. I only planned on working for a few months after I graduated high school, but that turned into three years. I don’t want to be stuck in a dead end job my whole life. I should go to college. I just have a hard time following through. The moment any little thing goes wrong, I just put it off. I don’t know, maybe I’m depressed. When I was a kid, I’d stay up all night messing with software. I’d download a program, change the source code, and try to run it. I just wanted to see what would happen. If it didn’t work, I’d keep trying. I loved it. It was fun. Sometimes I’d stay up all night. Recently I tried to do it again, but nothing felt fun anymore. Everything just feels like work.”

“Nobody knows that I smoke so I made sure to walk a couple...

“Nobody knows that I smoke so I made sure to walk a couple blocks from the hotel. I’m trying to calm myself. Our annual general meeting is tonight and I’m in charge of the whole thing. I’ve been planning it for months. I took a long time off to raise my kids, and I’ve only been back working full time for a year. I want to make a good impression. Our organization has never really had a woman in leadership before, so it’s a big deal. And it’s a big deal for me. This isn’t about my husband or my kids. It’s something just for me that I can embrace fully. And I want to succeed. I want my children to know that I’m Mommy, but I’m still myself.”

“I thought I would thrive here. I’ve got an MBA and a Masters...

“I thought I would thrive here. I’ve got an MBA and a Masters in Engineering. I worked for a major real estate developer back in Brazil. I was in charge of land acquisitions. They would tell me: ‘Bruno, go find opportunities for us.’ I’d locate good properties and then negotiate a price. I generated a lot of revenue. I felt powerful. When I spoke to rich people and politicians, I’d feel like their equal. Not in an arrogant way. But I did not feel inferior when I spoke to them. Coming to New York has really challenged my confidence. I applied to over fifty companies when I arrived. Maybe one hundred. But nobody hired me. I have a new daughter coming in August, so now I’m trying to work as a real estate broker. But that has been very difficult too. I’ve only closed one deal so far, and I split that with another broker. Maybe it’s because my English is not perfect. Recently I offended a wealthy lady by suggesting she clean her apartment before showing it. I showed her some dust and she told me to never come back. That was really tough for me because I was really proud of my people skills. And now it seemed that even those had left me. But I think that things are finally beginning to turn around. I have two closings scheduled this month. And yesterday I spent all day with a lady from China, and she barely spoke English, but at the end of the day, she told me: ‘I trust you.’”

“I graduated last May with an accounting degree and moved to...

“I graduated last May with an accounting degree and moved to the city. But four months had passed and I didn’t have a job yet. I’d probably sent out my resume to thirty different places. And I couldn’t afford to keep waiting for people to call me back. So I went to the strip with all the car dealerships, and started going door-to-door to see if they had any openings in accounting. I’ve always loved cars. I used to always read Consumer Reports with my dad. So I thought it would be a good fit. The lady at BMW was a bit standoffish. Then I went to Audi. They were great. Super welcoming. But they didn’t have any positions at the moment. Then I got to Jaguar/Land Rover– which was my first choice, so I was working up to it— and they sat me down right there for an interview. I was there all afternoon, then they said: ‘We like what we see. Can you start tomorrow?’ I ran outside and called my parents. My dad was so proud of me. I was so proud of myself.”

“Pleasing people is a huge drive. Any artist who tells you...

“Pleasing people is a huge drive. Any artist who tells you otherwise is either selfish or autistic. Art is a communication, and it’s not incompatible with your integrity to desire an audience. A public performance is a miracle. You never know who’s watching, but you feel a communion between yourself, the audience, and the composer who wrote the notes two hundred years ago. But fuck the notes. The notes are not important. They were the composer’s only means of communicating. The important thing is what’s between the notes and behind the notes. My job as a pianist is to interpret. Why did the composer put that note there? I need to understand the moment preceding the note. And when that happens– when I can reach back two hundred years and connect to a composer’s humanity, even if I’m completely alone, it’s the same feeling of communion as when I perform in front of an audience.”

“I’m looking to establish a solid relationship with somebody....

“I’m looking to establish a solid relationship with somebody. But it’s hard for me to imagine it happening. I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t have a home. I don’t have a heck of a lot to offer. Plus it’s been a long time since I’ve had any sort of relationship, so I’ve kind of lost track of how to deal with all that. I work at a sales center so I’m surrounded by people all day, elbow-to-elbow. It’s not so bad then. But then I go home, fix dinner, and bang—it all shuts off. That’s when I realize that I’m not in the situation that I want to be in. And I’m not sure how to get out of it.”

“I’m in charge of international expansion for one of the...

“I’m in charge of international expansion for one of the largest consulting firms in the cannabis industry. Not only are we going to save the economy, we’re going to hit the reset button on human collective compassion. The only bombs we should be dropping in Iraq are weed bombs. Calm the fuck down, people.”

“My kids are twelve and five. I want them to grow into good...

“My kids are twelve and five. I want them to grow into good people despite all the negative influence out there. I really do think that only a small minority of people are jerks. But they all seem to be on TV.”

“We met at summer camp in Maine. The first time I saw him, he...

“We met at summer camp in Maine. The first time I saw him, he was doing a fully clothed cannonball into the pool. We had our first kiss while lying on a trampoline. We’re going back to the same camp to get married this summer. We’re totally camping it up. All the guests are sleeping in cabins. We’re having campfires, smores, ring toss, ping pong, and a scavenger hunt.”