Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 184

“I teach soccer to children under ten. Right now I’m sketching...

“I teach soccer to children under ten. Right now I’m sketching out some drills for the four year olds. We try to do things in a way where the kids feel like they’re making a difference. For one of the drills, we imagine that we’re building a snow village. For another drill we have to destroy a pirate ship. Then there’s a drill with ghost pirates. And another one with space pirates. Lots of pirates. We want to keep things politically correct because the parents watch the practice. Attacking pirates is something that everyone can get behind.”

“I’m just working on universal peace and getting everybody to...

“I’m just working on universal peace and getting everybody to love each other. I’m an official brother man. I’m the one. Well, I’m one of the ones. There are all kinds of brother mans: black, white, Indian. A brother man is somebody who helps when people need help. A brother man will stand up and say: ‘That’s not right.’ A lot of women are brother mans too. But we don’t call them brother mans. We call them sisters.”

“Achievement has always been a drug for me. Maybe it’s because...

“Achievement has always been a drug for me. Maybe it’s because I was a middle child and would do anything for recognition. I remember being a child and sitting at the piano for hours, with tennis balls under my hands, trying to get the right finger positions. Or trying to memorize more songs than my older sister. I got pregnant in college and gave birth to my son during my sophomore year. I was an unwed mother. I didn’t want to be a statistic. I wanted to achieve something. I wanted to prove that I could succeed and raise a great kid. I graduated on time. I was so proud of myself. I never accepted any help from anyone. I went into sales and I threw myself into work. Every time I reached a goal, it was like a drug. There was a sense of euphoria every time I hit my numbers. For the last few years, I’ve been working sixty to eighty hours a week. I led a sales team of thirty people. But my company got acquired and three weeks ago I got laid off. And I’m thinking that maybe it’s time to take a pause. For my whole life, it’s just been me and my child. And he turned out great. I’ve laid a strong foundation. I think it’s time to finally realize that things will be OK.”

“I don’t enjoy observing people as much as I used to. Everyone...

“I don’t enjoy observing people as much as I used to. Everyone acts like they’re on stage. People used to come to The Village sheepishly. Nobody was sure if they belonged. We didn’t know if we were artists. These days everyone walks around like they’re contributing something. There’s no angst anymore. There’s too much certainty. And that’s a shame. Because all the best art comes from people who feel like they don’t belong. Art is a way of proving your existence. When I was a young man, a person that I respected told me that I was an artist. It was one of the worst things that could have happened to me. I stopped walking into museums or galleries with a sense of awe. I walked in feeling like an ‘artist.’ My arms would be crossed. If I liked a piece, it was ‘good.’ If I didn’t like a piece, it was ‘bad.’ I didn’t feel vulnerable anymore. I lost my humility. And that’s when growth stops.”

“Right now I’m an assistant at a recording studio, which...

“Right now I’m an assistant at a recording studio, which basically means cleaning the bathrooms, doing prep work, and sharpening pencils. I just have to prove that I’ll go out of my way to get things done. Then each week I get a few hours of practice time when the studio is empty. Next I’ll become an assistant engineer, and I’ll actually get to sit in on the recording sessions. The ultimate goal is to become a producer. Audio is a bit of a boys’ club. There were only three girls in my program at college, and there’s only one other woman at my studio now. I’m not sure why more women don’t pursue it. It’s perfect for me. I’m not much of a performer but I love music. So working in audio allows me to help create music without having to get on stage. And there’s plenty of opportunity. Every Taylor Swift song has thirty or forty people behind it.”

“I was working as a school safety officer when I met her. She...

“I was working as a school safety officer when I met her. She was a teacher. But she kept working her way up. She became a principal. She went to work in the central office. She got her doctorate. Eventually she became the highest-ranking black woman in New York education. She was always taking that next step. I was working as a custodian when we got married. She was making five times more than me. It bothered me at first. It took some counseling to convince me that she hadn’t ‘settled’ for me. I’d been raised on the idea that the man was supposed to provide. But eventually I came around to the idea that money wasn’t the only way to provide. I could support her by doing chores, or taking the kids to school, or picking her up from the airport. Her work benefited all of us, so I could help provide by making her job easier. And eventually she inspired me to want more for myself. She’s the one that convinced me to go back to college.”

“I didn’t go to college until I was fifty. I was working as a...

“I didn’t go to college until I was fifty. I was working as a custodian and it just got tiresome. You could find me in the exact same place, at the exact same time, every single day. Clean the halls, clean the classrooms, clean the bathroom. I wasn’t feeling fulfilled. I started going to college classes on the nights and weekends. It was difficult because I was always tired. There’d be times when I didn’t want to do an assignment or I didn’t want to go to school because it was raining. But my professors kept telling me: ‘You’re not looking for a job anymore. You’re looking for a career.’ I graduated five years ago with my BA. Then 2.5 years later I got my Masters. Now I’m a parent coordinator at the same school where I worked as a custodian. I get to counsel parents about how their children can get the most out of school. My confidence has doubled. I used to be unsure about speaking up, because I didn’t feel qualified to offer my opinion, but now I’ll stop parents on the street– just to make sure that their child is on the right track. Some people in my position get stressed when they’re given a heavy workload, like: ‘Why do I have to do this?’ I always think: ‘I get to do this.’ I’ve been working in the Department of Education for thirty years, so I could retire next year with benefits. But I don’t want to. Because I love my job. Every day is different.”

“I went to every march and protest there was when I was young....

“I went to every march and protest there was when I was young. I had a peace sign on my little yellow Volkswagen. I remember lying down on the Long Island Expressway in seventy-something to protest Kent State. Crazy, I know. But we thought that would end the war. I guess it did in a way. Once I was arrested at a protest in Washington. I don’t even remember exactly what we were protesting. But there were so many of us that they herded us into RFK stadium. I remember those crowds in Washington. You looked around and all you could see were people who agreed with you. Zillions of buses on I-95 all going to the same place. And it really made me think that the world was changing. But I was living in a bubble. All my friends were Jewish, middle-class, and educated. I didn’t even know anyone who owned a gun. I thought everyone wanted peace, and a better environment, and that nobody hated anyone. Then Nixon got elected using his Southern Strategy. He tapped into so much hatred and racism. And I realized: ‘My God. People are fucked up.’ Then my generation started marrying, having kids, and started caring less about the world. And probably me too. You can’t help it really. You have to become more self-involved. You only have so much energy you can expend in the world.”

“He’s my nephew. I watch him two or three days a week while my...

“He’s my nephew. I watch him two or three days a week while my sister is at work. Last night we went to see a play and today we’re just running errands. It’s nice to be an uncle because I can enjoy his company without feeling the burden of providing for him. We have a lot of fun. He’s got his own sarcastic sense of humor. He’s very inquisitive. He’s always asking about things. He’ll notice if people on the street are feeling bad, and he’ll point them out. It really forces me to be present.”

“I want to be an engineer because you get to mess around with...

“I want to be an engineer because you get to mess around with technology and help people. But first I need to get better at long division. One thing I’d like to do is make cheaper prosthetics for people in the army. One day I was bored so I googled them and saw that they cost $3500. Maybe I can make them the same way but with recycled materials.”