Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 181

“I’m a psychotherapist to some of the most successful people in...

“I’m a psychotherapist to some of the most successful people in Holland. My clients tend to come to me around the age of forty. They’ve accomplished so much, but they’re still driven by this fear that they’re not going to make it. And they start to ask themselves: ‘Is this going to be the rest of my life?’”

“I drive an MTA bus. I don’t want to do that for the rest of my...

“I drive an MTA bus. I don’t want to do that for the rest of my life. I’ve got to wake up at 4 am everyday. That’s not working for me. So I’m trying to get my music off the ground. I’ve been handing out these CDs all day. But it’s tough. I’ve only sold three so far. But one of the guys who bought a CD was from Algeria. So now I get to say that they play my music in Algeria.“

“I stayed in a bad relationship for three years. I was sharing...

“I stayed in a bad relationship for three years. I was sharing a man with someone else. He wouldn’t answer his phone at certain times of the night. Or he was always working late. It was three years of letting him feel good at my expense. Three years of feeling ‘less than.’ I kept telling myself that I could be a better girlfriend. Or that I could fix it. Or that I should give it more time. I was down to 108 pounds from all the stress. I was constantly clenching my phone. I was always angry and arguing and serious. Finally one night the other woman got a hold of his phone, and she called me, and started asking me all these questions. And I decided that I couldn’t live like that anymore. I walked away. That was a year ago. My spirit feels so much lighter now. I’ve gained back twenty pounds. And I’m laughing again. During those years, it took a joke to make me laugh. Now I can laugh at anything.”

“I’ve moved home to live with my parents while my dad battles...

“I’ve moved home to live with my parents while my dad battles esophageal cancer. I think my being home has helped my mom even more than my dad. She had stopped taking care of herself. There’s this feeling of helplessness when someone you love has cancer. Two weeks can pass between appointments, and there’s always this feeling that there’s something more you should be doing. For the past two years, Mom always put Dad first. She lost weight. She stopped doing things she cared about. So I’ve started cooking with her every night. That’s our time together. And I’m pushing her to start crafting again. And to go get her nails done every once in awhile. Last night I stayed home while she went to a Broadway show with her friends. And my dad’s happier too. He doesn’t care how Mom’s nails look, but he’s happier knowing that he’s not stopping her from doing things for herself.”

Today in microfashion…

Today in microfashion…

Many of you have been asking for an update on Aya. I’d been purposefully silent on her case in...

Many of you have been asking for an update on Aya. I’d been purposefully silent on her case in...

“I’ve had serious problems with authority my entire life. The...

“I’ve had serious problems with authority my entire life. The first person I tried to piss off was my mother. I got an Ivy League education and then became a street cop for six years. I’d always been a knee jerk liberal. I was one of those kids screaming ‘off the pigs’ at protest marches. And then I ended up joining the force. I think it should be mandatory for everyone. We all have to take turns being the hall monitor in elementary school. I think everyone should have to be a cop. It’s the ultimate social work. It’s the cop who has to step in when everything else has broken down. It’s where the rubber meets the road. It’s where conflict bubbles to the point of needing resolution, and somebody has to step in and protect the group welfare. Ninety percent of the job is family disputes. It’s walking into a room and keeping people from killing each other. Yet everyone hates cops. Everyone loves the fire department, and everyone hates cops. That’s why I think everyone should have to do it. Everyone should have to make an arrest. Everyone should have to feel the fear of trying to apprehend someone who doesn’t want to go to jail. Everyone should experience the ‘fight or flight’ response when flight isn’t an option. It breaks my heart to see all the hate toward cops. Are there hateful, racist cops? Sure. And they should be punished. But I’ve worked in just about every industry. And I didn’t find any more racism in the police department than I’ve found in boardrooms and retail stores. Before I joined the force, I used to think that all cops were The Man. Now I know that the cops are all of us. Just a bunch of human beings trying to figure out how to play the game. And I think everyone should have to do it.”

“We didn’t exactly try. We just stopped trying to prevent it...

“We didn’t exactly try. We just stopped trying to prevent it and it happened. I’ve barely begun processing it. The tests came back positive, but it didn’t feel real. So I went to the doctor on Friday and it’s definitely real. The due date is December 5th. That feels really real. But other than that, nothing feels different. It’s like this unreal thing that’s happening to me. I am drinking decaf coffee right now. So that’s different.”

“I work twelve hours a day as a patient care technician. I...

“I work twelve hours a day as a patient care technician. I don’t treat myself like I should. But today’s my day off. So I’m trying to take care of myself. I got my nails done. I’m on the way to church. I’ve been singing along to my gospel and reggae. There’s no need to be in tune when you’re praising God. I’ve been singing and crying and laughing to myself. No crazy people bothered me on the train today. They think I’m one of them. I’m covered.”

“My daughter’s personality started changing when she turned...

“My daughter’s personality started changing when she turned seven. She began to gain weight. She acted out in school. She grew more defiant. My mother had died around that time, and they had been close, so I assumed that maybe it had something to do with that. She’d always tell me that she hated her stepfather. He was strict with her, but I thought that was a good thing. And he treated me so well. He was the fucking perfect husband. My daughter finally told me when she was twelve years old. We’d just moved to Long Island, and the two of us were sitting in a car outside our new house, and my husband was standing on the porch, and she pointed at him, and said: ‘You know he molests me.’ I felt so guilty. For five years I’d let it happen. He fucking knew how much I loved her. She was the whole reason I got sober. I’ve been trying to compensate my whole life. I could never discipline her after that. Now she has substance abuse problems so I’m raising my granddaughter myself. I’m still trying to compensate. We live in a little tiny studio but I try to do everything for her that I couldn’t do for my daughter. I go to every PTA meeting. Every activity. Girl Scouts, Disney, Universal. I’m picking her up from a camping trip right now.”