Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 137

“I grew up outside of Miami. It wasn’t easy to be young, black,...

“I grew up outside of Miami. It wasn’t easy to be young, black, and gay in my neighborhood. It was a very masculine space. All the guys played basketball or football. They wore oversize clothes. There was a clearly defined idea of what it meant to be a man. And I spent a lot of energy trying to meet that standard. I didn’t like sports but I played anyway. If I ever got bullied for acting feminine, or hanging out with girls, I’d take it to the extreme and insist on fighting. The black man is expected to be a rock. I think it comes from our history. We were abused for so long, I think there’s a resistance to ever being vulnerable again.”

“Having a child was the best thing that ever happened to us....

“Having a child was the best thing that ever happened to us.  But it is constant company with terrible conversation.”

“I feel like I’m just starting, but I think I’d be fine if it...

“I feel like I’m just starting, but I think I’d be fine if it all went away.  I get that from my mother.  From the moment I started singing, she always reminded me that all of this was a privilege, and could be taken at any moment.  So singing is not how I define myself.  I try to keep my identity rooted in my friendships and my faith.”

“She has the biggest heart. Everyone sees her success as an...

“She has the biggest heart.  Everyone sees her success as an athlete, but all of that is layered on the size of her heart.  She gives 100% of herself to everything she does: as a friend, as a lover, and soon, as a mother.”

“He’s so sexy. And he taught me the importance of being silly.”...

“He’s so sexy.  And he taught me the importance of being silly.”
“Being silly is so important.  Silly is the opposite of grief.  It’s throwing yourself into a moment without care.  You can’t always maintain your status as a dignified person– it gives you blinders. When you always expect the world to fulfill your expectations, it wears you down.  It closes you off.”
“So sexy.”

“She always responds with empathy. She meets anger with...

“She always responds with empathy.  She meets anger with empathy.  She meets hate with empathy.  She’ll take the time to imagine what happened to a person when they were five or six years old.  And she’s made me a more empathetic person.  I had a very fractured relationship with my father.  Before he died, she made me remember things I didn’t want to remember.  She made me remember the good times.”

“They try to manipulate me. But I’ve got it figured out. A hug...

“They try to manipulate me.  But I’ve got it figured out.  A hug in the morning is normal.  A hug at night is normal.  A hug for no reason means that we saw something we want on television.”

(Lima, Peru)

“I live with my mom and uncles. There are twelve of us in one...

“I live with my mom and uncles.  There are twelve of us in one house.  Everyone is sacrificing so that I can go to university.  My mom works in restaurants and cleans houses.  All her money goes to my tuition.  She always tells me just to focus on school.  We were short on money last semester, but she told me: ‘Don’t worry about it.  I’ll find it.  You just continue.’  She’s always been like that.  She never wants me to be stressed.  My dad passed away when I was a young child.  So we’ve always struggled.  Sometimes when I was growing up, there would only be enough for one meal.  And my mom always said that she wasn’t hungry.  I didn’t realize until I was older that she had only been pretending.”

(Lima, Peru)

“I knew my husband very well. We’d been living together for...

“I knew my husband very well.  We’d been living together for twenty-one years.  So it was obvious that something was going on.  Suddenly he started playing guitar and writing songs.  The songs were OK, but I read some of the lyrics and they clearly weren’t written for me.  He started wearing cologne.  He started liking new foods that he’d never even tried before.  So I was suspicious.  Then one night he came home crying.  I said: ‘What happened?  Did you kill someone?’  He told me that he’d gotten a girl pregnant.  She’d just had the baby and didn’t want to keep it.  Then he asked me if I would raise it!  I said: ‘Sure, give it to me.’  I arranged to meet the woman in the park, and she handed me the boy.  He was only three days old.  He felt like my son the moment I held him.  I got rid of my husband a few months later.  But I kept the baby.  He’s sixteen now.”  

(Lima, Peru)

“He’s always acting so serious. The last time we went out with...

“He’s always acting so serious.  The last time we went out with my friends, he looked like he was constipated the entire time.“

(Lima, Peru)