Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 134

“My father died in his sleep last year. Right after my...

“My father died in his sleep last year. Right after my birthday. I didn’t have a good relationship with him. He left the family when I was ten. We had good moments but we were never really close. I wanted him to understand me. I wanted him to realize that I needed support, and love, and somebody to take care of me. I needed him to say ‘I’m sorry.’ But he never did. Whenever we talked, all he cared about was getting across his side of the story. And then he died. And now I have to forgive someone who can’t say ‘I’m sorry.’ I feel like I’m playing this game of chess. And I have to keep making moves, or nothing will ever change. Except that there’s nobody sitting across from me anymore. And I can only guess the moves that he’d make.”

(St. Petersburg, Russia)

“There are always two little beautiful humans looking at me...

“There are always two little beautiful humans looking at me like I’m the most important thing in the world. They copy everything I do, especially my son. I’m very careful how I treat my wife because I know that’s how he’ll learn to treat women. I call my wife pet names, and my son started calling his sister those same names. Recently I picked flowers for my wife. And the next day he picked flowers for his sister.”

(Moscow, Russia)

“I’ve worked in the circus my entire life. I studied to be a...

“I’ve worked in the circus my entire life. I studied to be a clown for many years. A great clown can make you see your own clumsiness. There are many famous clowns. Einstein was a clown. I always think of that famous picture of Einstein sticking out his tongue. That is a sign of extreme intelligence. Dumb people are always working on their serious face. They think a serious face will make them seem intelligent. But intelligent people don’t need a serious face.”

(Moscow, Russia)

“I was only eighteen when my first daughter was born. Her name...

“I was only eighteen when my first daughter was born. Her name was Svetlana. She came down with an infection but there were no antibiotics in the hospital. I begged the doctors and nurses to tell me where to buy them. But none of them would tell me because they were afraid to go to jail. I finally found some American medicine on the black market. But weeks had already passed and it was too late. The antibiotics didn’t work and my daughter passed away. Up until that moment, I had considered becoming an artist or a dancer. But I decided then to become a doctor.”

(Moscow, Russia)

“I’m afraid I’ll live a useless life and nobody will remember...

“I’m afraid I’ll live a useless life and nobody will remember me. I don’t feel a strong interest toward anything. If I do, it’s just a momentary thing, and then I drop it. I tried acting. I tried swimming. I tried dancing. But I got bored with all of it. If I don’t choose something soon then I’ll leave nothing behind. We only have a certain amount of energy in life. If you don’t put it somewhere then it’s wasted. I feel like one of the little yellow minions from that movie. They get sad if they don’t have a villain to serve. When I have a goal, and I’m moving toward it, and I reach it, then I feel a little relief. That’s what life is to me. A series of goals that you move toward. I don’t think it’s possible to just become happy. Life’s not that easy. But if you keep moving, you can forget that you’re sad.”

(Moscow, Russia)

“I cut my hair the other day. It used to be down to my waist....

“I cut my hair the other day. It used to be down to my waist. It’s a personal experiment. I’m trying to prove to myself that I can have short hair and still be feminine. It can be hard when I step out on the street and all the other women have long hair. I think a lot of people see short hair, and form an idea that I hate men, or that I only think about business. But I still feel feminine inside. I guess I want to prove that feeling has nothing to do with the type of attention I’m getting.”

(Moscow, Russia)

“This is a picture of me before I lost my job. It was only a...

“This is a picture of me before I lost my job. It was only a year ago but I barely recognize that person now. I was thirty pounds heavier. I was much more confident. It felt like a guardian angel was guiding my steps. Things always seemed to work out for me. Now it seems like my guardian angel is drunk. Now I look at this picture and see a man who’s wearing a mask. The man in the picture wants to be seen as a person who does important things. He wants to be seen as confident, and harsh, and a leader. He wants to be seen as an attorney. Now I just want to be seen as a person. Someone who’s calm. Who’s balanced. Who loves his friends and family. And who’s kind.”

(Moscow, Russia)

Today in microfashion…(Moscow, Russia)

Today in microfashion…

(Moscow, Russia)

“I’m the lead singer in this band because he can’t hear very...

“I’m the lead singer in this band because he can’t hear very well. But I’d like to say that he’s a wonderful man. You should have seen him when we met in 1953. Green eyes. Black hair. A little gray on the side. All my girlfriends were so jealous. He had no money so he sold his best suit to buy me fruit and flowers. I used to get entire letters from him that were written in verse. He still writes in verse– but just little notes now. I think he might have run out of verse.”

(Moscow, Russia)

“I’ve sold thousands of pieces of latex in my life and I’m a...

“I’ve sold thousands of pieces of latex in my life and I’m a doyen of the fetish scene. I love to get people from ‘here’ to ‘there.’ ‘Here’ is having a fetish and hiding it. ‘There’ is exploring it. Trust me, your dark secret is nothing I haven’t heard before. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just what you’re into. And there’s plenty of other people who are into the same thing. You should never feel shame. Unless of course shame gets you off.”