Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 128

“I want to do something for our nation. At first I wanted to...

“I want to do something for our nation. At first I wanted to be a doctor, but I discovered another path to saving lives. I’m studying agriculture now. I’d like to help invent new seeds to increase yields. Small farmers in India are struggling. They just can’t compete with industrial farms. Most of them live in isolated villages, and it costs too much to bring their goods to market. It can be cheaper for them to dump their crops on the side of the road. Meanwhile people in our country are going hungry! It doesn’t make any sense. But if we invent new seeds that increase the yield of their land, small farmers can survive. If I do my job well, there will be no need for doctors. Also my mom would like to see my name in the newspaper.”

(Udaipur, India)

“It’s only our fourth time going out, and we were actually...

“It’s only our fourth time going out, and we were actually just talking about our future together. I just ended a long-term relationship back in August. It ended horribly. There was a party at college, and I discovered my girlfriend dancing very close with my best friend. This guy was like a brother to me. So I lost two important relationships in the exact same moment. I became very depressed for several months. I thought I couldn’t trust anyone in the world. But then she came along. And I’ve started to feel bubbles of happiness again. I’ve been more positive. I’m not crying. But it makes me worried because I feel like I’m starting the same cycle all over again. So I think we’re going to take it slow. Both of us are in medical school, so we’re going to focus on our studies and give the relationship a back seat. I hope she understands. It’s not that I want this to end. I’m just not ready for it to progress exponentially.”

(Calcutta, India)

“Marriage is about two things: sexual satisfaction and...

“Marriage is about two things: sexual satisfaction and building generations. Nothing more. Only useless people are thinking about love. The result of a love marriage is never satisfactory. Divorce, arguments, affairs. These things don’t happen in arranged marriage. Arranged marriage is always successful. Love is for useless people. But if you’re going to feel love, at the very least, make sure it’s someone of a similar income level.”

(Jaipur, India)

“I used to drink beer every once in awhile. That was all. But...

“I used to drink beer every once in awhile. That was all. But several members of my family died in a few years time. The worst was my brother. He was younger than me. And after his death I lost all control. Now I can’t stop drinking. I’ll quit for a few weeks at a time, but then I’ll get this feeling: ‘Let me have a little bit today.’ Then I’ll drink continuously for five or six days until the shivers kick in. It’s ruining my health. It’s causing me to neglect my work. My family is ashamed. And I live with a constant feeling of doing wrong. But I can’t stop. And even if I did, I feel like I’m too old and it’s too late.”

(Jaipur, India)

“I came to the city when I was twenty and became a fruit...

“I came to the city when I was twenty and became a fruit seller. It’s allowed me to build a house in my village. I feel healthy. I get to eat. A lot of people don’t get to eat on time. So I’ve gotten everything I wanted. The minute you think: ‘I have a lot’—that’s the moment your spirit is at rest. My spirit is at rest.”

(Jaipur, India)

“One night there was a huge storm and he didn’t come home from...

“One night there was a huge storm and he didn’t come home from work. I had told him to sleep at the shop, but he wouldn’t listen to me. And by nighttime he still hadn’t arrived. The trains shut down. The phones stopped working. I sat by the window all night with my children. I asked everyone who walked by if they’d seen him. The next morning I went to the temple and said so many prayers. Then at 11 AM, I heard the bell ring. And there he was. He was soaking wet and completely covered in mud. He smelled awful. I started crying so hard. I made him some hot tea and a little food, and he went straight to bed. When he finally woke up, I informed him that he would be moving his shop next to the house.”

(Mumbai, India)

“I sell grain for people to feed the pigeons and cows. It’s a...

“I sell grain for people to feed the pigeons and cows. It’s a way to get good karma. This has been our family’s business for eighty years. It began with my grandfather, then my father, and now it’s mine. I have about 250 or 300 clients that I see every day. Things were going very well. We had two houses. A car. Lots of gold. But a few years ago my brother-in-law got kidney disease. Our family spent everything to save him. We travelled all over India. People said: ‘go here, go there,’ and we always went. And we always paid whatever they asked. My mother even donated her kidney. But nothing worked. He died seven months ago. My parents passed away soon after because of the stress. Now I’m all alone. I own nothing but a scooter. I still believe in karma. Without it I have nothing left. But only God knows what I did to deserve this. If I knew, I wouldn’t have done it.”

(Jaipur, India)

“I don’t want her to depend on anyone when she grows up. From...

“I don’t want her to depend on anyone when she grows up. From the very beginning, I’ve been dependent. I barely left my home until the age of eighteen. I’d only walk from school to home, and even then I’d be accompanied by my brother. I had no idea how to face the world outside. I never even learned to ride a bike. It’s going to be different for her. I told my husband: ‘Whatever she wants to do, I’m going to support her.’ And I’ve already gotten a bike for her. The moment she is old enough, I’m teaching her to ride a bike.”

(Jaipur, India)

“I’m pretty sure I’m a sociopath. Or something close to it. My...

“I’m pretty sure I’m a sociopath. Or something close to it. My parents were pilots, so I spent most of my early childhood on a small island in Tunisia. The only other kids were the children of a local hotelkeeper. I was so isolated that I even invented my own words. By the time I got to high school, I was a monster. I only cared about being the best. I was a bully. I’d argue just for the sake of arguing. I would destroy any belief, just to be right. My behavior is different now. But I think I’m still a sociopath. I’m not sure I feel empathy. But I do always try to make the empathetic choice. It’s an intellectual thing for me. I’m intellectually convinced of the need for empathy. I choose to help other people. I choose to be a reliable friend. I have a wonderful wife who judges me by my actions, and not my reasons for them. Sometimes I feel like Pinocchio. Was he a real boy? Yes, because that’s what he always strived to be.”

“I was late to the delivery room when she was born. But as...

“I was late to the delivery room when she was born. But as soon as I walked in, her eyes started tracking me. Like she knew I was her Dad. Even the nurses were laughing about it. She’s always been my road dog. She never went through a ‘teenage phase.’ She never stopped wanting to spend time with me. We could always talk about the problems she was having at school. Even as she got older, we’d still go to the park on Saturdays or find some exotic place to eat in Brooklyn. It’s a little tough now that she’s away at college. I miss spending time with her. But I trust her completely and I want her to enjoy these years. I just hope that when she falls in love with some dude, I’ll still get to see her.”