Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 126

“Several years ago my father used our house for collateral on...

“Several years ago my father used our house for collateral on a business loan. When things fell apart, we lost everything. My dad got depressed and fell sick. My mother was backed into a corner. She had four young children but no income. At the time she was a very feminine housewife. But she asked our neighbors to teach her how to farm. Then she convinced our landlord to let her plant an empty field. He told her, ‘If you can make it yield anything, we’ll split the profits.’ It didn’t succeed right away. There were a lot of pests. Some of the crops dried out. But my mother harvested whatever was left, and it was enough to support our family. She cut off her hair during this time. She got very muscular. She worked all day in the fields but still found time to make sure we went to school. If my brothers and I ever started crying, she’d tell us: ‘If I’m strong enough to do this, you’re strong enough to go to school.’”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

“I tried to pick my wife up from her religious group one...

“I tried to pick my wife up from her religious group one night, but her friends told me that she’d left with someone else. She told me the guy was just a friend. But over the next few months, I started to hear more and more things. Somebody saw her coming out of a hotel with another man. Then a few weeks later I discovered them on a beach together. Then finally I came home early one day and found them in my house. I was heartbroken. Because I really did love her. I left town immediately after the divorce because I didn’t want to be reminded of the heartbreak. I’ve lived in Jakarta for three years now. I have my own shop. I’ve saved a lot of money. I’m doing better than I ever have before. My plan was to become successful and win my wife back, but my daughter tells me that she’s already remarried. So I’m hoping to meet someone else. One of my customers was left by her husband. She also has older children. We’ve been talking on the phone a lot lately.”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

“We were planning to swim today but then we decided to go...

“We were planning to swim today but then we decided to go looking for foreigners. Rayhan had never seen one before. Foreigners are fun and handsome. If you get a picture with one of them, you’ll get a lot of likes on Facebook. We found a few already. There was one family from France that was really nice and let us a take a picture. Then we found one other girl but she was kind of snobby. She said some words in English and walked away quickly. Maybe she was feeling sick.”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

“It was spontaneous. I didn’t ask for permission. We’d been...

“It was spontaneous. I didn’t ask for permission. We’d been dating for five months, so I just decided to go for it. We were standing on a beach. Watching the sunset. I waited for the perfect moment when she wasn’t paying attention. Then I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. At first she was silent. She gave me a bit of a side look. I thought I’d messed up. So I pointed at the waves and pretended that I saw something in the ocean. I let things cool down for a few months before trying again.”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

“I tried to start a business right out of high school. I...

“I tried to start a business right out of high school. I didn’t have much experience. But a mutual friend showed me a business model and I agreed to partner with him. We supplied wholesale groceries like onions, barley, and garlic. My partner did the purchasing and kept all the books. I just supplied the money to purchase more stock. I was completely dependent on the information he gave me. And at first we showed a lot of profit. Every time we filled an order, there would be an even bigger order. So I just kept putting more money into the business. That went on for four years. But when I finally tried to take some profits, my partner claimed there was no money. He showed me an entirely new set of books. He’d stolen everything, and I couldn’t prove a thing because I hadn’t been keeping my own records. I hid it from my wife for days. We had two kids and I’d just lost everything. But when I finally told her, she supported me. She only told me that I couldn’t sit around and think about it. So I got a job as a taxi driver. I was done with business forever. That was twenty years ago. Both my kids are educated now. They’ve grown up to be good human beings. And that guy never changed. He kept cheating people. Last I heard, he was in hiding somewhere.”

(Dhaka, Bangladesh)

“These types of shops are notorious for cheating people. A lot...

“These types of shops are notorious for cheating people. A lot of them use fake parts to fix your car. But I take pride in doing things right. And most of my profits go back into the business. I could stash all my money in the bank, but I’d rather use it to create jobs. I support five employees with this shop. I handpicked them myself. All of them were being paid horribly at their old jobs. They were living in horrible conditions. They had families to support but were barely making enough to feed themselves. So I paid them double, gave them shelter, and gave them food. If the work is getting done, they can have as much freedom as they want. I don’t give them metrics. The most important thing is that they’re happy.”

(Dhaka, Bangladesh)

“The land where I grew up was very rich. The property was...

“The land where I grew up was very rich. The property was empty when my father bought it, but he plowed it with cows and grew many crops there. He built it up from nothing. I have many memories there as a child. The land was next to a river. There were lots of coconut trees. The trees didn’t belong to anyone but they felt like my own. My father died when I was five years old and passed the land on to me. It was my only possession. It was my back-up plan. I worked as a janitor in the city, but I always returned to visit my mother and bring her money. It was in my twenties that I began to notice that the river was eroding the soil. Every time I returned, a bit more had fallen into the water. There was nothing I could do. We stayed until the water was five feet from our door. On the day we left, my mother told me: ‘One day you’ll realize how hard your father worked for this.’ And that’s the hardest part. The land was my only memory of my father. And now I can’t show it to my kids. I feel like it’s not just my inheritance that’s underwater, but all my father’s hard work.”

(Dhaka, Bangladesh)

“My mother passed away during childbirth, and a woman from a...

“My mother passed away during childbirth, and a woman from a nearby village tried to purchase me from my grandfather. At first he was insulted, but the woman kept begging, so he finally agreed to marry her into our family. She never breastfed me. She never showed me affection. And the moment she had children of her own, she abandoned me. I was ten years old at the time. Her new husband threw my school bag into a lake and told me to go find work. I moved straight to the city. There were times I was so hungry that I made soup out of goat food. But I never begged and I never stole. There are a lot of bad people in the city, but I was lucky enough to meet the good ones. People who showed me the right path. A restaurant owner let me live with him in exchange for washing dishes. Then when I was fifteen, an old Pakistani man taught me how to drive, and I became a bus driver. I met my wife while driving that bus. We have three children of our own now. I have nothing to leave them when I’m gone. But all of us are well fed and well housed.”

(Dhaka, Bangladesh)

“My boyfriend would do all sorts of crazy things when we first...

“My boyfriend would do all sorts of crazy things when we first met. We’d talk until four in the morning. He said he’d die to be with me. But the moment he knew that I was falling for him, he suddenly grew cold. He’d call me names. He’d disappear for days every time we argued. And he started spending time with other girls. He said they were just friends, but it bothered me. Plus he would never commit. I asked him for a commitment because my parents are trying to fix my marriage, but he just listened to me cry. He wouldn’t say a word. During one of the periods that he wasn’t talking to me, I reconnected with an old crush from my childhood. And this new guy treated me so well. He even came to meet my parents to show that he was serious. But my boyfriend logged onto my Facebook and discovered our messages. And he started crying and begged me not to leave. He said he’d marry me if I came back to him. So I did. But now he’s saying that he hasn’t decided if he can forgive me.”

(Dhaka, Bangladesh)

“I feel like girls aren’t safe anywhere. Maybe I’m watching...

“I feel like girls aren’t safe anywhere. Maybe I’m watching too many crime series on television, but I’m scared to ever leave her alone. I even get nervous when she goes to school because the driver is male. I do my best to teach her to be safe. I tell her how to react if a man approaches her. I tell her what is not appropriate. But she’s so shy. She’s silent around adults. So I’m scared that she won’t stand up for herself. And that if something happens, I’m afraid she’ll never tell me about it.”

(Dhaka, Bangladesh)