Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 125

“This is my older sister’s business. I’m just helping her out....

“This is my older sister’s business. I’m just helping her out. I barely knew her for most of my life. We come from a village, and she moved to the city when I was a baby. She supported our whole family. Everyone depended on her. She sent us money every month, but I barely knew her. I only spoke to her on the phone. A few years ago I followed in her footsteps and moved to Jakarta, and now we’ve become very close. I can finally witness the sacrifices that she’s made for us. She works all the time. She owns this small restaurant and runs a furniture business out of her home. Even though she’s a woman, she does all the marketing and negotiating herself. She wakes up early in the morning to search for wood in torn out buildings. When she comes home at night, her body is so tired that she goes directly to sleep. I want to become like her so she can rest. But I’m afraid I’m too naïve. When I watch her, I feel like she can do anything.”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

“We must teach religion in our schools. We must start them...

“We must teach religion in our schools. We must start them really, really young. As soon as they know how to point out basic things like ‘rock, milk, tree.’ That is the best time to start. Not too much. Just one hour a day until they are about seven. Enough to teach them the basic prayers and Arabic alphabet. It has to be compulsory. You don’t have to force them to believe. But you must force them to study. It’s the most important thing in life. All of us have animal thoughts and lust. Only with God do you start having rules. Even the Christians have rules. I have a Christian relative. They pray to God as well. And the Hindus, well I don’t really understand Hinduism, but they have something too. You must have a higher power. When a man lives without God, it’s very dangerous. You have no reference, no principles, no precepts. You are almost equal to animal.”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

“He had a heart attack at the office. He was only forty years...

“He had a heart attack at the office. He was only forty years old. We’d left the house together that morning, but he never came home. I was in shock. They told me to cry but I couldn’t. I lost so much weight. My children were still so young and I knew I’d have to fight alone. I’d let my husband pamper me for my entire life. We were always together. There were so many things I didn’t understand because he’d taken care of everything. He’d always driven us everywhere. I’d fall asleep in the car the moment we got on the highway. So I had to learn to read maps, and figure out directions, and how to wait for the bus. It made me so nervous when the crowd started pushing, but I learned to push too. I learned to go to the pharmacy and wait in line. It seems so simple, but my husband had always been the one who went to the pharmacy. I had to teach myself all these things. But God made it easy for me. The time has passed so fast. I supported us by working as a teacher and I’ve educated both my children. Now they’re teachers themselves. And my daughter is getting married this Saturday. My son is going to walk her down the aisle.”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

“He had a heart attack at the office. He was only forty years...

“He had a heart attack at the office. He was only forty years old. We’d left the house together that morning, but he never came home. I was in shock. They told me to cry but I couldn’t. I lost so much weight. My children were still so young and I knew I’d have to fight alone. I’d let my husband pamper me for my entire life. We were always together. There were so many things I didn’t understand because he’d taken care of everything. He’d always driven us everywhere. I’d fall asleep in the car the moment we got on the highway. So I had to learn to read maps, and figure out directions, and how to wait for the bus. It made me so nervous when the crowd started pushing, but I learned to push too. I learned to go to the pharmacy and wait in line. It seems so simple, but my husband had always been the one who went to the pharmacy. I had to teach myself all these things. But God made it easy for me. The time has passed so fast. I supported us by working as a teacher and I’ve educated both my children. Now they’re teachers themselves. And my daughter is getting married this Saturday. My son is going to walk her down the aisle.”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

“We were married for three years. But my parents never...

“We were married for three years. But my parents never approved of her. They didn’t think she was good enough. They always told me: ‘You can date her, but don’t marry her.’ And she didn’t like them either. She didn’t like to be around them because she always felt judged. Things really got bad after our daughter was born. She didn’t want to live in my hometown. She didn’t come along when I went home to visit. We got in a huge fight about it one day. I started saying bad words to her, and eventually I said: ‘Let’s just end it.’ It was an emotional decision. We have three types of divorces in our religion– and I chose the most final. Which means we are never allowed to remarry. Afterwards it felt like a dream. I shouldn’t have acted so quickly. I spoke with her recently and both of us regret the decision. My daughter barely recognizes me when I visit. But what can we do? We can’t go against the rules of God.”

(Jakarta Indonesia)

“My mother lost her eyesight slowly. At first her eyes began...

“My mother lost her eyesight slowly. At first her eyes began to change colors. The doctor told us that she needed a surgery, and I promised her I’d get the money. It was my dream to save her eyesight. I did some repair work. I helped our neighbors with construction projects. But I ran out of time and she went completely blind. Soon afterwards she fell very sick. She had to stay in bed for months. I was always there by her side. Even if there were a lot of people at home, she only felt at peace if I was next to her. I cleaned her. I fed her. I put my number on speed dial so she could call me at work. Toward the end she began to imagine things. My family thought she was losing her mind, but I think she was just lonely in the dark. She told me that she saw children. She told me there were princes coming for her. I’d sit and talk with her about the things she saw. I kept talking to her after she fell into a coma. I prayed with her. I asked her to forgive my father. I asked her to forgive me for not saving her eyesight. I didn’t have the money. But I gave her all that I could, which was my service.”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

“My daughter was about to graduate high school when I lost my...

“My daughter was about to graduate high school when I lost my husband to a motorbike accident. She wanted to go to university but there was no one to support us. I’m an old-fashioned person. I’m not very smart. I only graduated from junior high school. But I wanted her to be better than me. I asked our relatives for help, but they all refused me. Out of desperation I approached my landlord. And she was the only one who supported us. She told me: ‘Get back on your feet so your daughter will have a chance.’ She loaned us half the tuition. The other half I earned by working morning to night. I was doing laundry. I was doing dishwashing. I was going around selling cookies and cakes. My daughter graduated recently and became a midwife. All my hard work paid off. We’ve been paying back the loan. And a few months ago she asked for my bank account number, and she’s been putting money in every week.”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

“I feel like God has given me a talent for art, and using that...

“I feel like God has given me a talent for art, and using that talent is a form of gratitude. For years I worked in an automotive workshop. I’d try to paint when I came home, but I never had any energy left. So I finally quit. Now I have more freedom to develop my talents, but it hasn’t been easy. Art is more difficult in this country. It’s not really seen as a profession. It would be easier if I was alone, but I have a family to support so there’s a lot of pressure to earn. I’m trying to be tough in poverty. I read a lot of poetry to give me strength. I would never beg, so right now I’m drawing portraits and caricatures to support myself. I’d rather be painting what I think and feel, but I have to fulfill what the consumer wants.”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

“Mom raised me on her own since I was young. My dad didn’t...

“Mom raised me on her own since I was young. My dad didn’t care about our family. He was there physically, but he wasn’t there. He kept all his income for himself. He gambled away our possessions. We couldn’t buy anything for ourselves because he would sell it. He sold all our electronics. He even sold our furniture. But my mother still did everything for him: cooked his food, did his laundry… everything. Then one day she came home from work and the house was empty. There was nothing left but our clothes. I told her it was time to go. For the last two years we’ve been living in a rented house together. Mom seems so much lighter now. We can own our own things. We can actually make progress and move forward in life. I’ve started working at a pharmacy and I’m paying my way through college. I’m still in touch with my father. I even give him money for rent and food. I have no interest in taking revenge. I’m showing him how he should have treated us.”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

“I’m a fund manager. One of my employees stole millions from...

“I’m a fund manager. One of my employees stole millions from my clients. He hid it from me for almost two years. He was working with a broker to create fake transactions. He disappeared when I discovered the scheme. I could call the police but it would be all over the press, and I’d never get another client. I could declare bankruptcy but I’m not a coward. So I’m trying to pay my clients back the initial amount they invested. I sold my other business. I sold two houses and a car. That’s why I’m taking trains and online taxis. Some of my clients feel sorry for me. Most of them are angry. A few hate me. All of them keep calling. I tell them to give me time, but they keep calling. I’m smoking four packs of cigarettes a day because of the stress. I’ve got to find fresh money. If I can get new clients, then I can slowly repay the old ones with the profits that I make. But all of them want their money now.”

(Jakarta, Indonesia)