Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 121

“I’m studying abroad right now. I have a bit of a...

“I’m studying abroad right now. I have a bit of a ‘boyfriend thing’ going on back home. He’s a nice guy. We met at a party and twenty minutes later he held my hair while I vomited. Even though I wasn’t very attracted to him, he intrigued me. I’d never met a boy who didn’t just care about sex. I’d only dated football players and gross teenage boys. He was different. He genuinely cares about people. He’d bring me all kinds of presents. One time I had a bad week at school and he brought me a gift package with all my favorite things. It was nice to have that much attention. I did just enough of the girlfriend thing to keep him around. Nothing he did affected me, and everything I did affected him. It was a weird sense of power to be the one with less feelings. I’d always been in the opposite position. Even after we broke up, I still hung out with him and let him give me gifts. He even gave me this journal for my trip.”

(Melbourne, Australia)

“I’m not looking to set the world on fire, but I need something...

“I’m not looking to set the world on fire, but I need something to challenge me. It feels like I’m reaching a critical juncture and I need to make some sort of decision. Up until now I’ve just been floating along. I’ve been at the same job for a long time. I do the same things day in and day out: smoking, drinking, things like that. It’s just so easy to be a consumer. It’s so easy to reach for pleasure and avoid pain, so that you never have to face the future or think about getting old. I don’t have anything elaborate in mind. Maybe just get out more, or move to a new place. Maybe have my son live with me for awhile. I just want to prove that I can set a course and do the things I say I’m going to do. Or if I can’t, I at least want to be honest with myself. So I can stop beating myself up about it.”

(Sydney, Australia)

“I moved here from Kenya with my husband. He became very...

“I moved here from Kenya with my husband. He became very abusive when we arrived. He made sure I didn’t have any friends. If anyone came to visit me, he’d immediately say: ‘I don’t like them.’ I was scared all the time. When my mother came to visit from Africa, she could tell something was going on. A mother can always tell. She saw how he spoke to me. When she left for the airport, she seemed so worried about me. It broke my heart. So the next time he hit me, I called the police. And I’ve never looked back. I have a great new boyfriend now. The kids are happy. I’ve got a job and I’m back in school. Things are really perfect. But I beat myself up a lot. I think: ‘If I’d only left earlier, I’d have been here so long ago.’ But I did leave. I’m here now. And that’s the important thing. Sometimes I need to remember to pat myself on the back.”

(Melbourne, Australia)

“This is the first time I’ve travelled alone. My friend told me...

“This is the first time I’ve travelled alone. My friend told me that you learn a lot about yourself when you travel alone. But so far, I find it the other way around. I feel like I learn more about myself when I have to relate to other people. Today I walked around Sydney. I saw everything I was supposed to see. I don’t even know why I did it. It just felt like the thing I should be doing. Maybe I’m just not a contemplative person. I generally feel satisfied with my life. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything. I don’t have to love what I’m doing to be happy. But does that make me ignorant? Should I be searching for something?“

(Sydney, Australia)

“He was clean when I met him. He’d drink and use drugs a bit,...

“He was clean when I met him. He’d drink and use drugs a bit, but only when he partied. But he’s not strong like me. He tried heroin and he liked the feeling. And he couldn’t stop. It’s not that he’s a bad person. He has a soft heart. He smiles a lot. But he has a demon to fight and I already tried my best to help him. I tried to move him from the area. I tried to get him into rehab. I took him to parenting courses and counseling. Things got better for about six weeks. He was acting positive and he was there every day. Even if we got in a fight, he’d stick around and work things out. But then he started disappearing again. He started getting angry and violent. Then he’d come back on drugs and act like everything was fine. And I wasn’t going to allow it. You can’t just do anything you want and come home to my children. I hate being a single mom. It’s lonely. I hate that I’m playing into an Aboriginal stereotype. But ultimately my dedication is to my kids. I haven’t cut him off completely, but now he’s on his own. He’s got to figure it out himself. He can’t visit my kids until he’s 100 percent.”

(Sydney, Australia)

“Both of us are very passionate about the environment. We...

“Both of us are very passionate about the environment. We actually met at the screening of a documentary about ocean pollution. Maybe we’ll get politically involved one day, but right now we’re just trying to live sustainable, happy lives without harming anything. We try to focus on the little victories. Recently we set up a triage hospital to help injured ducks during hunting season. And a few weeks ago we organized a beach clean that picked up half a ton of rubbish. It can be hard to affect change on a global scale, but we try to set an example, and it’s nice to see ripples of change in the people around you. I’ve even got my mom teaching vegan recipes to her friends.”

(Sydney, Australia)

“The biggest insurance company in Australia collapsed in 2001,...

“The biggest insurance company in Australia collapsed in 2001, and there was a royal commission to find out the cause. At the time I was working as a journalist. I’d been getting the itch to write a book, so I decided that I’d become an expert on the subject. Kind of a weird thing to choose, but I wanted to bang a peg in the ground about something. When the book was published, I went to visit the main prosecutor and I noticed a copy sitting on her desk. That made me feel like I’d created something of value. The book was a bit like taking a leak in a dark suit. Not many people noticed, but it left a warm feeling.”

(Sydney, Australia)

“Since there are only two million Assyrians left, there’s a...

“Since there are only two million Assyrians left, there’s a feeling that we might not survive. So we lean on our rituals. We lean on our church. We lean on our language, which nobody else speaks. It’s a ‘we’ culture. Everything is about the group. And if you wander too far from the group, you become a threat. Because the group can’t afford to lose anyone else. Your relatives will remind you that you should be proud to be Assyrian. You’ll be reminded that our people were slaughtered. So it’s tough to go your own way. For the last couple months I’ve been traveling alone. My mother is convinced that this is my breakout plan. She’s been so strict on me my entire life. But a couple days ago she sent me a text message that brought me to tears. It said: ‘I know that I said you’ve seen enough and that you should come back, but if you want to stay longer, and you feel that it’s safe, than you should definitely stay. And we’ll hear from you when you come back.’”

(Sydney, Australia)

“I do lifesaving training every weekend. Sometimes we have...

“I do lifesaving training every weekend. Sometimes we have races where we have to paddle out to buoys in the middle of the ocean. There was one really tough race a few weeks ago. The ocean was messy like today but the waves were even bigger. And there were lots of bluebottles. Those are like Jellyfish but worse. My dad said that I didn’t have to race, and half of the competitors dropped out, but I chose to do it anyway because I wanted to prove that I could be a lifeguard. On the outside I was ready to go but on the inside I was really nervous. Once the race started, some of the girls turned back because the waves were so big, and others were nose-diving and falling off their boards. But I made it all the way to the end and got fourth place. Everyone was congratulating me because fourth place is huge for me.”

(Sydney, Australia)

“I come from a village. My life would have been nothing if I’d...

“I come from a village. My life would have been nothing if I’d stayed home. I’d just wake up, cook for my siblings, and clean the house. I wanted to do more with my life, so I’m working in the city to save for my education. It’s been a lot lonelier than I expected. I’m so far from home. I spend my evenings alone in my room at the boarding house. I have nothing to do but think of my family. I’ve been here a year, but I still haven’t met many people because I work so much. My coworker is my closest friend. She’s like my mother away from home. She reminds me to eat, take my medicine, and get enough sleep. If she sees that I’m sad, she tells me to rest and does the work herself. It’s just nice to feel cared for. I’m not sure if I could make it without her.”

(Manila, Philippines)