Brandon Stanton's Blog, page 118

“When you’re a kid, Jesus sounds like a hippie or Bernie Sanders...

“When you’re a kid, Jesus sounds like a hippie or Bernie Sanders or something so it all sounds pretty nice. But then the rules get confusing. You go to Catholic school and some guy in a dress named Brother Roy starts beating you cause you got in a fight. It’s sorta like Gitmo in there. And you start to realize that all these rules are just to keep people down. To keep women down especially because they have the ultimate power of not fucking you. I do like the Jews because their version is less full of shit. A lot of those Talmud guys are so smart that they’re practically just atheists who love fairy tales. And Buddhism is pretty cool too cause it’s all in your head. No Pope. No mandatory meetings. Anyway, let me know if you figure it out. I don’t know shit I just dress well.”

“When I first moved here I was living with my uncle in Brooklyn....

“When I first moved here I was living with my uncle in Brooklyn. He lives in a Jewish neighborhood. I accidentally set off his alarm one night when I came home. I couldn’t defuse it. The alarm kept screaming: ‘Burglary! Burglary! Burglary!’ I was the only black person in the neighborhood at the time, so I panicked. I knew it didn’t look good. And I didn’t want to die in this movie. So the first thing I did was call 911. The operator was like ‘What’s your emergency?’ I told her: ‘I’m staying at my uncle’s house, and the alarm is going off, and I need you to tell the responding officer to expect a black man.’ And she said: ‘Is your uncle black too?’ And I said: ‘Ma'am, all of us are black.’ Then I fixed up a bowl of macaroni and cheese, turned on all the lights, stood in the middle of the living room, and waited for the knock.”

“I’d been smoking pot since ninth grade and it made me think...

“I’d been smoking pot since ninth grade and it made me think differently. So I figured that psychedelics would be the next step. I’d just moved to California. I was hearing stories of people tripping in nature. At the minimum they were being inspired and at the maximum they were being enlightened. It seemed like there was something more out there and I just wanted to get a glimpse of it. Mushrooms definitely give you a feeling of having ‘made it through.’ It’s like you’ve been sheltered from reality your entire life, and you’re finally seeing it, and it’s going to stay that way. But I became obsessed with the chemical. I was making all these beautiful connections. And they seemed so real. But in the end I was still alone in my head. And I was becoming more isolated. Some people find a lot of value in them, but my journey with psychedelics ended at the hospital.”

“I was not a tough kid growing up. I was timid. I was very...

“I was not a tough kid growing up. I was timid. I was very sensitive to pain in other kids. I never wanted to do anything that made people feel worse than they already did. And God forbid I ever hurt somebody. That would just destroy me. I’m having to learn to dial that back as an adult. There’s such a thing as being too compassionate. If you’re too scared of causing pain, you can easily be manipulated. Your fear becomes a button to be pushed. In my last relationship, I was made to feel hurtful or aggressive whenever I stood up for myself. So I always backed down. I’ve got to learn the line between being compassionate and being a doormat.”

“I felt humiliated and suicidal in college. It seemed like my...

“I felt humiliated and suicidal in college. It seemed like my personal failings were on display for everyone to see. I’m not all that attractive. I have a speech impediment. I’m not good socially. I saw other guys having romantic success and I felt a lot of envy. I concluded that women owed me something. They owed me a chance. And I was angry they weren’t giving it to me. I’m ashamed of it now, but during that time I formed a lot of bad and hateful opinions. I joined ‘incel’ communities on 4chan and Reddit. I found a lot of men there who felt just like me. The community provided this pseudoscientific justification for hating women. It let us feel like it wasn’t our fault. We stoked each other’s anger. And it felt good. Honestly, anger is just very addictive. You want to feel angry when you’re suffering. It gives you adrenaline. It gets your endorphins going. It’s a release. It’s a substitute for what you’re missing.”

“I turned fifty a couple weeks ago. I’ve lived in the same...

“I turned fifty a couple weeks ago. I’ve lived in the same neighborhood for most of my life, which makes it more challenging because everything around me has changed so dramatically. My best friend and I got our first apartment here when we were twenty years old. We used to play this game where we’d race each other through the streets. We’d take off our shirts and run to the Hudson. First one to get there was King Of The World. There was a vibrancy back then. People would see us running but they’d be OK with it. Because we were young. We were allowed to take up space. You think you’ll act young forever but the rules change. Your audience won’t allow it. We’re programmed to see older people a certain way. You can almost chart it on a graph. You disappear as you age and the world notices you less and less. And it makes you realize how much energy you got from being noticed.“

“It’s International Whores’ Day today. It’s about...

“It’s International Whores’ Day today. It’s about reclaiming the word. ‘Whore’ is a hateful word. There’s so much stigma in that word. It can be used against any woman that you want to hurt. It’s dehumanizing. And it strips sex workers of dignity. Construction workers get paid to use their bodies. Factory workers get paid to use their bodies. But if you use your genitals then suddenly you’re an outcast. Sex workers are at the highest risk of sexualized violence. And it’s funny that in this era where everyone is calling out workplace harassment, the most vulnerable group is being ignored. They’re not seen as worthy of protection. Language matters. So we shouldn’t be calling people ‘whores.’ We should be calling them ‘people.’”

“I married when I was sixteen. It was an arranged marriage. I’d...

“I married when I was sixteen. It was an arranged marriage. I’d never seen him before. I just came home from school one day and my dad told me that someone is coming to see you. He said: ‘You’re going to get married.’ The man was twenty-nine. I was so upset. Nobody ever discussed it with me. I had wanted to finish my education. I had wanted to be a flight attendant. I fought so hard but the whole family turned against me. Everyone stopped talking to me. My father stopped eating. So I gave up. I married my husband and came to America. I had three kids by the time I was twenty. I’ve accepted it now. He’s a good father to my children. He tried to tell me what to do at first but he’s given up. I work at Starbucks and the bakery. They’re nice people. They treat me good. But one day I’d like to maybe have a higher position so that I can work just one job. So I can spend some time on myself. And so I can maybe finally go to school.“

“We had a Native American museum today in third grade and the...

“We had a Native American museum today in third grade and the whole school came. I’ve been looking forward to it ever since second grade when I learned that third graders get to make dioramas. The museum was open from 10:15 to 10:45 or something like that. There was a cooking section where we gave out pumpkin bread. Then there was a tools and artifacts section. My table was in the games section. I put my snow snake on display. Snow snake is a very fun game in my opinion, but only four people came to my table. They said: ‘What is that?’ And I said: ‘It’s a snow snake. You can read about it on my poster.’ Then they looked at my poster for two seconds and went to get some pumpkin bread.“

“I worked at a make-up counter after graduating with a chemistry...

“I worked at a make-up counter after graduating with a chemistry degree. My African mother was so mad. But I love make-up. It’s like therapy. You make people feel good. You can change how they think, how they walk, how they talk. It’s transformative. Even when I got a job at a tech company, I still primarily viewed myself as a make-up artist. I had my own website. On the weekends I’d work weddings. But I always wanted to do it full time. So I finally took the leap. I moved to New York. I started getting on assistant lists. I did make-up for a few web series. I networked with people on Instagram. It was scary at first, but it’s been three years now and I finally feel safe. I’m getting magazine jobs. I just did a pilot for Comedy Central. Last month I paid off all my credit cards. And I think my African mother is finally coming around.”