Orlando Winters

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Orlando Winters

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December 2012

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Orlando Winters is a Miami-based critic of all things, with a propensity for stream-of-consciousness ranting and irrelevant segues. That pretty much sums everything up nicely.

As you’re probably already aware, Miami has received annoying, bloodsucking assholes from Brazil. And more recently, they’ve sent over mosquitoes as well. Zika fever has been an ongoing problem in Asia, Africa, and South/Caribbean America, but has recently become a real problem now that white women are at risk.


Little is known about the long-term effects and risks of Zika, but we’re learning a...

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Published on August 22, 2016 07:00 • 59 views
Average rating: 4.0 · 25 ratings · 12 reviews · 1 distinct workSimilar authors
Stop Being a F***ing Idiot

really liked it 4.00 avg rating — 25 ratings — published 2013 — 2 editions
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* Note: these are all the books on Goodreads for this author. To add more, click here.

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Housefly Crime Scene (Humor)
1 chapters   —   updated Jul 01, 2014 10:44PM
Description: From a Reddit writing prompt: "You are a detective called to a murder scene. The body looks as if it has been crushed by swift, blunt trauma. Describe the exchange with your partner and other members of the forensic team. Oh, and one last thing. You're all houseflies."
The Lost USB Stick (Mystery & Thrillers)
1 chapters   —   updated Feb 08, 2013 02:17PM
Description: A USB stick is found, and its contents are quite troubling.
Home Alone for the Weekend (Mystery & Thrillers)
1 chapters   —   updated Feb 07, 2013 01:55PM
Description: A creepy story about a young man's experience while home alone.
The Last Words (Humor)
1 chapters   —   updated Jan 17, 2013 01:34PM
Description: Sam finds a final letter from his father.
Birds and Bees (Humor)
1 chapters   —   updated Jan 16, 2013 02:20PM
Description: Quentin learns about the birds and the bees.
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Caliban's War
Orlando Winters is currently reading
by James S.A. Corey (Goodreads Author)
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The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
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Blindsight by Peter Watts
Blindsight (Firefall, #1)
by Peter Watts (Goodreads Author)
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Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey
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Caliban's War by James S.A. Corey
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Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey
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The E-Myth Revisited by Michael E. Gerber
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Crash Course Chinese by Celine Li
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I, Robot by Isaac Asimov
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More of Orlando's books…
“If a couple of gay guys want to throw the gayest, most fabulous wedding of all time, the only way it should offend you is if you weren’t invited.”
Orlando Winters, Stop Being a F***ing Idiot

“If you want to get rid of the perceived meaning of curse words, you’ll have to get rid of the feelings which bring their use, and that’s not going to happen.”
Orlando Winters, Stop Being a F***ing Idiot

“People play the lottery all the time unaware of how mind-bogglingly difficult it is to win. It seems like they take a different approach to probabilities. Their rationale must be, “Well, I can either win it or not win it, so my odds of winning are 50/50.”
Orlando Winters, Stop Being a F***ing Idiot

“If you want to get rid of the perceived meaning of curse words, you’ll have to get rid of the feelings which bring their use, and that’s not going to happen.”
Orlando Winters, Stop Being a F***ing Idiot

“If a couple of gay guys want to throw the gayest, most fabulous wedding of all time, the only way it should offend you is if you weren’t invited.”
Orlando Winters, Stop Being a F***ing Idiot

“People play the lottery all the time unaware of how mind-bogglingly difficult it is to win. It seems like they take a different approach to probabilities. Their rationale must be, “Well, I can either win it or not win it, so my odds of winning are 50/50.”
Orlando Winters, Stop Being a F***ing Idiot

“Like ugly Asian babies, valid superstitions don’t exist. At best, any perceived effect of a superstition is you merely psyching yourself out. Think of it as an asshole placebo.”
Orlando Winters, Stop Being a F***ing Idiot

“Christians are notorious for acting like used car salesmen, treating non-Christians as if they’re standing there holding a blank check and sporting a hard-on for unreliable vehicles.”
Orlando Winters, Stop Being a F***ing Idiot

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