Brandon L. Clay's Blog, page 5

Word Associations - Excellence Separates & Elevates!

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
 Aristotle 
 I talk a lot about excellence.  I believe it to be the single greatest thing that has helped me be successful.  When we were growing up, whether it be an Easter speech (remember those?), a school play, or a homework assignment, we were admonished to be excellent.  My father in law, LeRoy has had this mantra for decades -   "Excellence is the only standard".I agree.
Be clear, I am not talking about perfection or judging yourself against others.  I am talking about being excellent on your level - doing all that you can do with what you have to work with.  As you continue refining yourself and honing your craft your levels of excellence will increase.
What does excellence do?
First it separates.  Face it, most people are trying to do just enough to get by...the path of least resistance.  In the last 3 weeks, I have entered more than a dozen homes where the people already had an agent.
In a spirit of ethics I told them I did not want to come between them and the other agent, but since I was there I would review their situation and answer any questions - that alone separates me from others.  I was thorough and reviewed every element of the best fit solutions...detached from whether there would be a relationship formed or not. 
  Excellence should not be exhibited just because there is something to gain.  The first quality of excellence is that it only seeks exposure and expression...regardless of the circumstances. Your client and your product are out of your control, but you are in full control of you!
"There are no traffic jams along the extra mile."
 Zig Ziglar 
 In each one of these scenarios they told me I had done a better job of explaining the products and wanted me to be their advisor.  Do I feel bad?.  I feel bad that that the other agents didn't exhibit excellence...they didn't return phone calls or reach out...that they didn't explain programs in detail...that they "assumed" they could have a client for life with no service.
That would not have been hard and that was all they had to do.
The second thing Excellence does is Elevate.  Getting better at what you do will always help you rise to the next level.  Want to get promoted?  Want to get more clients and referrals?  Want to be known in your community and industry?
Be Excellent.
 As with any skill under development, it will take will power to control contrary thoughts (thus actions) but over time you will go from "second nature to first nature".  Then you are at a state of "being".  That is the key to excellence - not to try, not to force, but simply, "to be!".   "You can start right where you stand and apply the habit of going the extra mile by rendering more service and better service than you are now being paid for."   Napoleon Hill
Excellence Separates & Elevates!   Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!  

Rapport Reveals...Empathy Heals! part 2

 
"Empathy is about standing in someone else's shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes. Not only is empathy hard to outsource and automate, but it makes the world a better place." Daniel H. Pink  
  
Happy Monday!
We left off talking about the power of Relating and that it is the potent combination of Building Rapport and Demonstrating Empathy.  Most of us understand how to build rapport.  We converse, we make observations, we ask questions...all to reveal what we have in common with our prospects.
Rapport says, "You and I are connected through commonality".
Empathy is harder to establish than rapport, but is much more powerful. It reaches past affinities and touches the part of the human experience that removes fear, doubt, embarrassment and vulnerabilities.
Empathy says, "I not only understand...I feel."
 "A prerequisite to empathy is simply paying attention to the person in pain." Daniel Goleman   A week ago, I was on a home visit with a couple whose native language was French.  They were doing a pretty good job with English (as I would have done a horrible job with French!), but it was hard to understand them, let alone connect with them. Rapport was not on the agenda.  Simply getting an understanding about their situation was priority #1.  I had even contemplated calling the translator line so that I did not make a mistake on such an important matter as their healthcare or seeing if there was another agent that could make the call. The wife gave me a stack of physician business cards to review against her plan options - at least I could read!  One doctor was an oncologist.  That trumped all the other doctors in the stack.  I asked her how long she had been seeing that doctor. "I just started.  I have had 3 treatments." The strength and peace in her voice reminded me of my mother when her treatments began.  As I put on my reading glasses (yes, I said reading glasses), I found myself fighting back tears.   I lost that fight.
  "I think we all have empathy. We may not have enoughcourage to display it." Maya Angelou    I quickly got myself together as she handed me a tissue.  I told them that it would take some research, review and physician outreach for me to be able to help them make the right decision.  She then said the words that anyone in a real position to help another person needs to hear.  "We trust you"  I never said why I shed a tear and they didn't ask.  Empathy doesn't always need discussion but it has tremendous healing properties.  That is why we tell people (sometimes strangers) what we are going through.  It is not because, "misery loves company" but because there is a powerful transfer of positive energy when people connect on an emotional level. Building Rapport is a purposeful, pragmatic and objective discovery of where our lives intersect.  Empathy is a seemingly random and subjective discovery of where our lives connect.   No, not every sale requires this level of empathy (or any) and I don't suggest crying to get a sale...that wont play well in a boardroom of executives!  But whether you are at the kitchen table or conference table, I do believe the sales mantra applies; "They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."Theodore RooseveltRapport Reveals...Empathy Heals!  Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!  

Rapport Reveals...Empathy Heals! part 1

 "The toughest thing about the power of trust is that it's very difficult to build and very easy to destroy. The essence of trust building is to emphasize the similarities between you and the customer." Thomas J. Watson  
 Happy Friday!
 In sales and life, we are all told we have to connect.  I have been in sales training where they said the first 5 minutes of a sales call are the most critical.  Why?  Those minutes will determine not if the prospect likes your product ...it is whether they like you . We all know that people buy from people they like.  We have heard that one 1,000 times. That is a lot of pressure.   The "naturals" in the business have an effortless way of weaving in conversations about things they observe in the prospects surroundings.  The pictures of family, the trophies on the shelves, the roses in the garden.  They play "6 Degrees of Separation" trying to connect themselves to the client in a meaningful way. To give us a better chance of having things to connect with, we join associations, become active in the business community and network...all in an effort to make connecting with others easier and less haphazard.  That is not time wasted.  One good connection could be the difference between a prospect and a client.  Sales training usually calls this phase of the sales process Building Rapport.   Before you can demonstrate what the product can do, you have to demonstrate who you are and what difference you bring to the process.  There are many others out there vying for the same clients and product differentiation is small.  People are the big difference. That is why I call this vital phase of the sales process Relating.   It is a matter of building trust.  Not the lifelong "friend I can count on you through thick and thin" brand of trust, but transactional trust.  Relating is the gateway to that trust.  Trust is required to have people spend money with you.  If your product costs $1,000, then you have to earn $1,000 worth of trust.   Face it, people have buying choices that don't involve you. 
 Like Amazon.  People trust Amazon.  The question they ask themselves,
 Why should I spend this $1,000 with you and not Amazon?
 That is where Relating is powerful.  It is a higher form of trust building than rapport alone - it is a potent mix of building rapport and conveying empathy.  Delivered with sincerity and Your Authentic Sales Voice.   Rapport Reveals what is common between people...Empathy Heals what is separating them.   I will explain more in the next few Crumbs but on your next sales call, examine what truly creates bonds of trust and facilitates progress in the relationship.  I think you will find that... Rapport Reveals...Empathy Heals.  Until Monday, I wish you Money, Power, Success!  

Communication Connects!

 "Communication - the human connection - is the key to personal and career success." Paul J. Meyer  
We live in a world of communication.  Just think, less than a couple of generations ago, we had no way of knowing what was happening across the globe  Now, we have Twitter and Instagram that lets us watch events unfold...live over our phone!  There is more information available to us now than at any time.  We also have an avenue to join into the conversations with blogs, videos uploads, forums and rating review systems.   If you have an idea or opinion, there is now freedom of expression and distribution that can put you in front of a large audience...fast! There is nothing wrong with that.  As you can see, I add my ideas and opinions to the global community on a daily basis.  We all want our voice to be heard.  What do you want to communicate?
 What do you want to say to your child that just got off the school bus after they have had a frustrating or exciting day? To you spouse that has great news to share or is dealing with things at work or with their family? To the prospect that is looking for your product or service to meet a need or solve a problem?
  Are you offering up your opinions and ideas in a one-sided conversation - a monologue?  Are you engaging people in an interactive dialogue that provides a chance for common ground to be formed - a relationship to be built?
    "To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others." Tony Robbins  To have a real relationship with the people in your life you have to be mindful that they have ideas and opinions, too.  That in order to build a platform of trust you have to be willing to give your voice but also receive the voice of others. The most successful people in any walk of life or endeavor or those that communicate with clarity and power.  People gravitate to them.  There is a two way street of ideas and insight.  It is not a matter of a greater personality exerting their will over the lessor.  Great communicators are not egoists or arrogant...just confident in how they express ideas and opinions. If you are struggling with people in your life, the likely culprit is communication.  If you are struggling with a low close rate, more effective communication is the single fastest way to raise it.  If you want respect, influence and cooperation of others, work on your communication because 
Communication Connects!  Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!  

Word Associations!

 "Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble. Yehuda Berg  
The quote seems a little over the top until you think back to your last 5 conversations.  Really, take a moment to review the last 5 human interactions you've had - the place, the time, the circumstances.  Was it a friend, co-worker, spouse or stranger? The common denominator for each of those interactions is words.   What makes each one of the interactions different is the way the words made you feel. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou    Words are material and tangible versions of peoples thoughts. Our thoughts are electric impulses derived from stimulus given to us from the five physical senses and our emotional state and psyche at the time we speak them. Most of the time, we hold our deepest thoughts to ourselves and filter our words so as not to offend at every turn.  Other times...you get the picture! Anyone ever caught you at "a bad time"?  The words you speak in that moment might have been totally different 15 minutes ago...or 15 minutes later.  You say them before you have a chance to filter them or think them through.  We all know that words spoken in anger cut deep.  Thankfully, so do words spoken with compassion. As I have gotten back on the road, I am even more conscious of the words I speak.  Not because I want to be smooth and silky in my presentation to close more sales.  That would be manipulation and is disingenuous and not sustainable.  I am now looking down on the transaction much like a reporter covering a story.  20 years ago, I would have just wanted the sale.  Now I want to understand what creates the Moment of Truth that turns a prospect into a client...a client into a raving fan...a stranger into a friend. I have known the answer all along but I am now more conscious of it and my part in the interaction.  The "secret" to closing more sales, building better relationships and living a higher level of life? In a word...words The next few days I will play a game with you about connecting the dots between words, emotions and the results that bring success...we will play a game of   Word Associations!  Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!  

Oh Yes...I Still Can!

  Happy Monday! Ever wonder where some of our witty sayings come from?  I spend a lot of time researching quotes from great women and men throughout history.  That is interesting to me.  Most of our sayings today come from an original quote that has been "revised" for satirical meaning - a play on words of the original quote.  Many times, the original saying goes forgotten in lieu of the new amended saying.  One such quote;  "Those that can, do; those that can't, teach." Bernard Shaw from "Man and Superman" We use the phrase to demean those of us that have stopped doing "the work" and have taken on the enviable task of training the next generation of pupils.   That would be me. I stand up in classroom environments, conduct webinars and write books on a varieties of subjects focused on sales...and life.  Sometimes a student will stand up and say that some of what I discuss isn't possible or practical in the "real world".  It is a diplomatic way of saying that I am out of touch with the real world. 
 Ouch!
 While I have no ego to bruise and havemaintained that I don't know everything, the things I teach have come from years of experience.  Tested by time.  Proven by success. This year, as I finished a powerful new book on the being a Senior Insurance Advisor -  6 Hours to 6 Figures (available at Amazon now!), I decided to step out from behind my teaching desk...and do. The last 3 weeks, I have been running the road just like I did 17 years ago in an industry I love - helping our seniors make important decisions.
 The next several days of Crumbs will not be to refute the cynics, critics, or those that feel that already know everything.  Debate is wasted on people who already have formed an inflexible opinion.   It is for those who need to know that the original quote from Aristotle still applies; "Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach." Running the road has quickly taught me that I missed being "in the mix".  It has also shown me areas where my book and trainings can be improved.  My success the last few weeks also reminds me that doing something you love is the key to real success.   Just like the saying, "You never forget how to ride a bike", when it comes to effective selling in the "real world"...  Oh Yes...I Still Can!  Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!  

Sweet Dreams!

  I was watching Charlie Rose the other day and Annie Lennox of the Eurythmics was his guest.  She has done many things in her life but she is best known for the 80's song "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)".  In case you don't remember it, here is the hook;  Sweet Dreams are made of these.Who am I to disagree.I travelled the world and the seven seas...Everybody's looking for something. The last couple of weeks, I have been on the road running appointments in peoples homes and doing seminars with people who are on Medicare.  It has truly been a collage of experiences and I feel like On the Road with Charles Kuralt (yes, I am writing a book!).  My experiences have ranged from a 75 year old mother of a 23 year old son with Downs Syndrome, to a 102 year old double amputee diabetic. There have been veterans, recent widows and someone who was just diagnosed with breast cancer.  I have been in some of the most impoverished areas of Georgia, but  have also been in a multi-million dollar home with a successful 74 year old "Warren Buffet" type. It has been a roller coaster ride of emotions as I try to help people in my area of expertise.  My prayer each day is send me to the people that need what I do...let me be a blessing.  Yes, I am still a sales guy too, but service is the first priority.  While each day and each person is different and unique, one thing I can tell you with certainty... Everybody's looking for something.  Some people just want help with medicine.  Some want to travel to Europe.  Some want to get back to the gym after a fall.  Some want to see the birth of their great grand-children, some have outlived all their children...some just want their children to visit.   "A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." John Barrymore  Perspective. What I have seen encourages me to pursue my dreams with more zeal while there is still time and strength.  The paradox of time is that it provides the mechanism for achievement but also quietly robs people of their gusto.  Each day that comes and goes is a chance to pursue or make excuses. What about you?  What are you looking for? While I have never been the type of person to need someone else's challenges or calamity to "shock" me into seeing how fortunate I am, there is something about seeing people endure hardship and still find the fortitude to hope and to dream... Sweet Dreams!  Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!  

The Art of Asking!

    "Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you." Jim Rohn  
 Happy Monday! I am not much of a coffee drinker.  My wife, on the other hand.  Somehow, the other day, I found myself in a Starbucks.  I was between appointments and needed free Wi-Fi (ok, at $4 a cup it isn't exactly free!). I usually get the same thing when I go with Natalie and I had my order fixed in my mind, so as not to sound coffee illiterate.  My turn came and the barista said something that totally threw me off;  "Good morning, what delicious can I get started for you today?"  It stopped me in my tracks.  I had my mind made up but then the descriptive way in which she asked the question made me rethink.  I had expected her to ask the usual questions, "What can I get you?"What will you have?""How can I help you?" All of those are acceptable ways to get my coffee order.  I would place my order and get out of the way.  She asked in a way that got more than my order...it got my attention....it made me think. She could tell that I was off balance and drawing a blank.  She smiled and said, "Take your time."  Not sure the dozen or so people behind me appreciated that, but I did. "Do you like a strong basic coffee or something with extra flavoring...like vanilla or chocolate?"  Might I suggest a Vanilla Latte? I had never had one of those before and it sounded better than my normal simple coffee order. "What goes great with that is a slice of Lemon Pound Cake.  A slightly sweet, moist cake that partners perfectly with the latte...shall I get you a slice? Two head nods and $7.00 plus tip later, I was sitting down enjoying my free Wi-Fi. The way I had just been served made me think about The Art of Asking. Most of us, in sales or in life, ask basic vanilla (pun intended!) questions.  We have done something so many times that we take the experience out of the process.  Sure, it may be old hat to us, but for the person in front of you, it may be their first experience. What if you asked the same questions with a little more panache?  What if you got the other persons attention by being more descriptive and unique?  How could you position your questions in such a way as to intrigue and engage? That would set you apart.  That would make you more memorable.  That would make you more persuasive...and you would get more of what you want! Whether you are asking for a sale, a promotion, raise, or a 2nd date, you have to be creative.  You have to stand out from the clutter of others who want the same things you do.  The winner isn't always the best person, it is sometimes the person who "asks" the best.  Next time you ask for anything, remember... The Art of Asking!  Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!  

After the Storm

 "After a storm comes a calm." Matthew Henry    Happy Friday! Based on the reactions I got from the last Daily Crumb, I know many of you can relate to the Storming phase of a developing and dynamic work environment.  Whether you are in a small, intimate work environment or a large one, the process of evolving into a high performing team is the same. There is much pain and emotion required to drive out the behavior that disrupts a teams ability to perform while providing an environment of safety and inclusion.  That process is necessary, because as I have heard it said,
 "You can't conquer something you won't confront."
 Many organizations get stuck in the Storming phase because they won't confront.  Conflict is sometimes necessary to provide resolution.  That mandates that a company not be afraid to stop making widgets and focus on the people.  Focusing on the people requires a champion - someone who can arbitrate fairly...without prejudice and bias . Once a champion is identified there are 5 things a leader can do to get the team through the Storm;  #1 - Listen. - There are many sides to any story.  Consider every point to be valid.  Even in what appears to be complaining and finger-pointing, there is a multi-dimensional challenge presented - which will point to a multi-dimensional solution. 
 "I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen." Ernest Hemingway    #2 - See their perspective.  There is an Native American proverb that says, "Never judge a person until you walk a mile in their moccasins".  Empathy means going beyond what you think or feel and seeing things through the eyes of the people on your team.  From the broom room to the board room, everyone has a unique perspective.  Get in touch with it! #3 - Find the common ground.  I understand that not everything can be agreed upon and every strategy can not be built on consensus.  The best leaders can take a collage of ideas and build a unified plan that people can get behind and execute.
 "I like to see myself as a bridge builder, that is me building bridges between people, between races, between cultures, between politics, trying to find common ground." T. D. Jakes   #4 - Build agreement. Once the plan of getting the team through the storm has been developed, you have to get buy-in.  Sure, not everyone will agree on every point but once the plan is made, there can be no dissention or distraction.  This is the moment where everyone should "speak now, or hold their peace". #5 - Stick to it.  Some of the detractors of the team are waiting to see if the plan will be followed through.  The worse thing an organization can do is announce something and then not do it.  That is where some of the storming comes from - not being able to rely on the last memo or initiative.  Good leaders follow through on promises. "Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there." Josh Billings    To my leaders that are fighting to get their teams to work together, to accomplish greater things, I know what is like to fight the complex battles.  I also know what it is like to take people through this difficult stage into high performance.  I can tell you it is worth it.  Let me encourage the leaders and the members of the team that it can get better and that there is high-performance peace...  After the Storm! Until Monday, I wish you Money, Power, Success!  

Survive the Storm!

"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship."
  Louisa May Alcott  The storm of Disagreement.  It is going to happen anytime you put more than one person in the room.  I have counseled many small business owners that have their first real problems when they hire their first employees. What was once a simple unilateral decision now involves second guessing, debate and dissension if the people don't agree on the strategy.  That is why organizations have to have leaders.  Someone to direct the strategy and provide guidance...someone to break the tie. It can be a power struggle.  That is why so many managers and leaders engage a autocratic "my way or the high way". approach.  While it cuts down on the energy it takes to get things done, it is not effective in building an inclusive high-performance culture. That takes time. We know that the 4 stages of the team are  Forming - Storming - Norming - Performing. Disagreements will be high in Stage 2 - Storming. It is the stage where employees will "test the fence" and see what the real boundaries are.  They will act out passive aggressively or point fingers at others.  Cliques, coups and water cooler sessions serve to undermine the organization. This is normal. That is why there are 4 stages.  As I have told my kids often - "You don't get to skip any steps on the road to greatness...only mediocrity allows shortcuts." Don't panic - Storming is the hardest phase, but it is the most important. It is when you will find out what you really have.  Some of the people on your team won't make it through this period.  That is ok - it is better that they leave now before the critical missions.  Structure, process and true leadership are developed through storms.  You find out who is committed in the storm.  It wont be pretty...but it is necessary. How do I know Natalie has my back?  How we endured storms.  How do I know I can count on my sister, Donna?  She was there before, during and after my storms.  Many of my friends and  colleagues are gone...they didn't endure the storm (In fairness, I may not have endured theirs either!).  LinkedIn and Facebook likes are good for social media statistics and networking, but you can't build a life on superficial relationships! You need storms to know who is with you.  It may not be the people you thought.  Nonetheless... When the storm is gone, look around and see who is still standing... that is your team. If you have something at stake, if it matters, if you want more than just a sample of the good life, then you will have to face storms head on.  Don't worry, as my momma used to say, "  "Trouble don't last always...this too shall pass.  If you got a made up mind you will"...  Survive the Storm! Until tomorrow, I wish you Money, Power, Success!