Dan Brooks's Blog, page 15

The Betrayal Of Jesus

I'd like to look at the betrayal of Jesus and see if we can asses Christs feeling and take on those betrayals.
First, we really must understand the nature of the Greek word used by the Gospels to "prove" that Judas “betrayed” Jesus. In the Greek the word used in the original Gospels is paradidomi. Its primary meaning is “to give or hand over to another.” The word appears in the New Testament just over 120 times, 44 of those occasions in connection with Judas. When not used in connection with Judas, the term is normally translated in some form connected to its primary meaning of “hand over.” When the word is translated in connection with Judas, it is always rendered as “betray.” It is generally accepted among scholars that “betray” is a proper secondary meaning of paradidomi and it is not hard to see how the word can take on the more negative connotation of “betrayal.” But there is some question as to whether this word had that negative sense prior to its Gospel usage.
It seems as though the only evidence that the word paradidomi means betrayal is its rendering in the Gospels. We find no evidence outside of the gospels demonstrating that the word means anything other than "to give" or "to handover."
So there is substantial doubt that the Gospels have been correctly translated and before the Gospels and Christian doctrine were canonized there is no evidence that Judas was viewed in negative terms. In fact there is evidence that Judas was an Apostle in good standing in early Christianity.
But this is where my research has led me but Jesus was betrayed by more than Judas.
He was betrayed by Peter. Peter denied knowing or associating with Christ 3 times. Not once, not twice but 3 different times to more than 1 person.
Yet on the beach over a meal Jesus asked Peter 3 times if Peter loved Him and each time Peter answered yes. Jesus lets Peter affirm his love for Him for each time He was denied in order to allow Peter to redeem himself.
When Christ was being nailed to the cross He cried out to God to forgive His murderers because "they know not what they do."
Jesus was being arrested and Peter cut the ear off of a Roman soldier and Jesus rebuked Peter for his actions and then healed the man sent to arrest Jesus and take Him to His death. Jesus heals him and goes along willingly.
I hated to bring in TV shows into this but I heard a line on my favorite show of all time that I think accurately displays what it's like to feel like Christ and that that feeling leads us to act like Christ.
The show is Doctor Who. The Doctor is betrayed by his friend Clara. Outright betrayed. The Doctor responds by saying "Did you think I care so little about you that betrayal would make a difference?"
Can any of us say that we would say that when facing the betrayal of someone close to us? And that Doctor Who quote points to why Christ prayed for the forgiveness of His murderers, redeemed Peter and healed one of His arresting Roman soldiers. 
Because Christ has loved all of us so much that even when we outright betray Him our betrayal does not dim His love for us one bit.
Can you imagine loving anyone so much that they can betray you completely, attempt to kill you deny their love for you and still love them just as much? Because that's the kind of love I think Christ has in mind when He said: "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."

Buddha And Christ; Parallel Teachings

1. All the phenomena of existence have mind as their precursor, mind as their supreme leader, and of mind are they made. If with an impure mind one speaks or acts, suffering follows him in the same way as the wheel follows the foot of the drawer (of the chariot).

2. All the phenomena of existence have mind as their precursor, mind as their supreme leader, and of mind are they made. If with a pure mind one speaks or acts, happiness follows him like his shadow that never leaves him.

3. The hatred of those who harbor such ill feelings as, "He reviled me, assaulted me, vanquished me and robbed me," is never appeased.

4. The hatred of those who do not harbor such ill feelings as, "He reviled me, assaulted me, vanquished me and robbed me," is easily pacified.

5. Through hatred, hatreds are never appeased; through non-hatred are hatreds always appeased — and this is a law eternal.

The passage about how our lives are the result of how and what we think reminds me of Christs teaching here:

17 Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught?

18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

20 These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man. Matthew 15:17-20

The passage about hate reminds me of Dr.Martin Luther King saying "Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that. Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that." And that rings true and strikes me as very Christ-like.

There is the theory, however far fetched, that Jesus came in contact with Buddhist monks while traveling with His uncle Joseph of Arimathaea out of Israel in the Far East and also in England.

Jesus was questioned about whether or not He had to pay the tax and if He were traveling then He would not have owed the tax. It even being a question raises the possibility that Jesus was traveling with His uncle Joseph who was a tradesman.

Joseph Smith said this about truth; “Mormonism is Truth… One of the grand fundamental principles of Mormonism is to receive truth, let it come from whence it may. (Discourses of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 199)

Later, Joseph bolstered this sentiment with this statement, “We should gather all the good and true principles in the world and treasure them up, or we shall not come out true Mormons.” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 316). 
But maybe the real reason there are parallel teachings, and the are many, is because no one owns the truth, we can only discover and possibly articulate it. As opposed to inventing it. Maybe it's just a case of wise teachings born in different eras and places but truth is to be found all around us.
For me studying Lao Tzu, Krishna in the Bagadvad Gita, and the teachings of Buddha in the Dammapada and the Sufi mystic Rumi have allowed me to find many parallel teachings and more truth than I usually find in church.
As Rumi said "I looked in Temples, Churches and Mosques but I found the Divine within my own heart."
He also once wrote "I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons,knocking on a door. It opens.I've been knocking from the inside."
Reminds me that we are taught by Christ that if we knock it will be opened to us.
Do you recognize truth when you hear it? Does it ring through in a way that most chatter does not?
Discernment is considered a spiritual gift and we can pray to recieve and utilize it. In the quest for truth it is imperative.

An Understanding Faith

I'm There is an LDS facebook group called "A Thoughtful Faith." One of the ideas being to promote a thoughtful approach to our faith. 
The fact that I found the group to be less than understanding or thoughtful is a reflection of the members not the idea behind the group.
I think part of having a strong faith is in being thoughtful and understanding not just in your own faith but that of others of all faiths.
My wife has a coworker who recently converted to Islam. My wife and her coworker had an in depth discussion of religion and he was overjoyed that she actually had some understanding of Islam. But mostly he was so happy to be able to share his faith without being judged harshly by people who think every Muslim is a terrorist. 
He was pleasantly surprised that she was so understanding and yet Mormon. My wife said Utah Mormons tend to view their faith as superior to others and to view all other faiths as "of the Devil" "evil" or not worthy of understanding. 
He said that Mormons tend to be in one of two camps; progressive and understanding or judgmental and closed minded.
I studied every world religion for most of my life and have helped my wife to understand them as well. We own 1) A Koran 2) A Bagavad Gita 3) The Dammapada.
I have found that in understanding the faith of others helps me be a better man, a better husband and a better Christian.
And I also find that this knowledge helps me to connect to and befriend others easier than otherwise possible.
Joseph Smith said this about truth; “Mormonism is Truth… One of the grand fundamental principles of Mormonism is to receive truth, let it come from whence it may. (Discourses of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 199)
Later, Joseph bolstered this sentiment with this statement, “We should gather all the good and true principles in the world and treasure them up, or we shall not come out true Mormons.” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 316). 
So it sounds like to me we are encouraged to seek out truth regardless of where we find it and we are counseled to pray for confirmation of the truths we may find.
Wouldn't it be great if the stereotype of Mormons and especially those from Utah went from being a close minded and judgmental faith to an understanding faith. A thoughtful approach to our faith and also an understanding approach to the faiths of others.
Understanding what others hold to be sacred and how they approach their faith can tell you so much about them but understanding your own faith can help you teach others about you and your faith.
Understanding is what breaks down barriers between ourselves and each other. Judgmental, superiority complexes and narrow mindedness create barriers and creates bad theology like the curse of Cain doctrine or the "doctrines" behind the Crusades.
I've been judged by other "Christians" for being Mormon and been demanded to justify and explain my choice while being stripped of my faith by being told I'm not truly Christian. I felt horrible and that is how others feel when being treated the same way by some Latterday "Saints" for not being Mormon. The way we connect best is by understanding each other. There is much good to be done just by being an understanding person. But to understand others one must understand one self.
Giving or receiving understanding can make someone's day but it can also change a life.
Understanding Ramadan can put a fresh new perspective on fast Sunday's. Understanding meditation can help enhance prayer. Understanding Catholic communion can put a new spin on taking the sacrament and our ideas on the last supper. Understanding Passover can help deepen our understanding of the last supper which was a Passover meal.
Our goal spiritually is to understand more. Not to close ourselves off and say that "We know enough truth."

7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

Jesus taught even His own disciples to continually seek. Meaning that there is no limit to truth, one must always seek it out. Once we stop learning we begin dying I would say. We lose that spark of life when we stop seeking. Pursuit of knowledge is part of having a lust for life.

Knowledge of others faith can strengthen our own. And understanding our own helps us understand ourselves better and doing so helps us understand others and connect with them. Understanding helps us accept different people and accepting people is the first step to loving them as Christ loves us.

Bear Your Burdens With Ease

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28–30).

We had a lesson on a Talk By Elder Bednar today about bearing burdens. It was about lessening burdens but not doing away with them. Because often there is a lesson to be learned from having the burdens and obstacles in our lives.

My first thought, which I was afraid to share, was about Buddha. Buddha was a prince who was sheltered from the outside world until later in life when he decided to leave the palace walls and see the outside world.

When he did he was shocked and saddened to see so much suffering, so much hunger and pain. He saw the sick and afflicted, the handicapped, the starving and the blind.

And he even witnessed someone die. It was through these experience that he began to ponder the nature of suffering and the best path to understanding and ultimately enlightenment.

Seeing the burdens others dealt with caused him to mature and to become wise. The pain he saw affected him deeply and the burden of it all improved his life and his understanding.

So having burdens can actually spark a complete transformation of body, mind and soul.

It makes me wonder about the little moments and the crucial ones Jesus came to in His life that lead to His remarkable understanding.

I wonder about how Jesus processed the pain of others from His family to the others in His village. And I wonder how He realized that He could help and in ways no one else could.

These are moments not recorded in scripture but these moments happened even if they were not recorded.

Jesus did not turn anyone away it seems but instead was overjoyed when a crowd broke a roof to get a ill man to Jesus for healing. He praised them for their faith.

And Jesus at one point during the Atonement bore all our sins and maybe our burdens and our pain. And some would say that resulted in His exaltation. But I wonder if maybe Jesus bearing our burdens is what allowed Him to grow into exaltation. Maybe it was what enriched His soul making exaltation possible.

In the moment of the Atonement Jesus bearing our burdens, our pain and our sin maybe He had a window into each of our lives, our souls and the contents of our hearts.

So maybe bearing one another's burdens can allow us insights into the lives and struggles of others. Maybe we will be all the better for it.

Doubt Less Trust More

Doubt is needed at times, being cynical can help guard us and ensure our safety. It's when those things lead us to assume the worst that we must bring them in check.
In the courtroom of our mind the prosecution often has an open and shut case due to assuming the worst. Assuming the worst can put even innocent behavior and speech in the worst possible light. That can lead us to abandon what are truly healthy relationships with good people. The loss is ours when we cast off good people.
Just like with righteous judgement means to judge favorably with the scales of judgement weighed on the side of innocence rather than guilt, we ought to trust in the goodness of others until and unless it is proven unfounded.
Trust like respect is a two way street one must give it to recieve it but sometimes even if given it is not returned but that does not justify assuming the worst of those who come into our lives after we have been burned.
I've had the conversation with many women that because the five men they've dated or married were horrible that all men must be horrible too. 
Five out of seven billion is proof of nothing except that these women were the only thing these men had in common so perhaps that may reveal the true fault. I've heard men make the same argument of women to the same lackluster response from me.
In everyday life the most unassuming people become involved in extraordinary events and later become legends.
In Alabama just before the civil rights era began things were horrible for so many people that a group went to their local reverend for help. That reverend was Dr. Martin Luther King, an ordinary man catapulted into extraordinary events and he changed his country for all people.
In the Bible Noah was tasked with saving the world even though he was an alcoholic. He rose to the occasion. In every era many pivotal figures were the unlikely heroes of their age.
My point is that greatness can happen to anyone. To me this is cause to cherish those you know and those you meet you may see that greatness face to face or you may become great but to me it is crucial to have faith not only in God but in His children as well because sinners can become saints.
Like Paul who helped murder the first Christian Martyr Stephen and went on to write 2/3 of the New Testament and be possibly the most prolific and influential missionary in Christendom.

Wheat And Tares

Jesus taught a parable about wheat and Tares. Except it wasn't about wheat and Tares, it was about why good things happen to good and bad people. 
Because they are tied together and so to hurt one would hurt the other so the separation doesn't happen until harvest time. That implies that we have until judgement day to settle our affairs but the kicker is that we will never know when that will happen.
We are taught to live well because we never know how much time we will have, we will never know when our time is up until it happens and Jesus says only the Father knows.
Here is the parable:
 24 Another parable He put forth to them, saying: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field; 25 but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way. 26 But when the grain had sprouted and produced a crop, then the tares also appeared. 27 So the servants of the owner came and said to him, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?’ 28 He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants said to him, ‘Do you want us then to go and gather them up?’ 29 But he said, ‘No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, “First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn.” Matthew 13:24-30
The sun shines on the sinner as well as the saint. Both the righteous and sinful farmers see their fields receive rain and produce good yields.
The problem I see with the traditional lessons I've heard on this is that blessings are directly tied to obedience to the church and to the gospel. That teaches that if you are obedient then and only then can you be blessed. But when the most obedient amongst us then face hardships and tragedy they will likely feel betrayed and their faith may falter or evaporate.
And when the obedient see others who are sinful receive blessings the traditional interpretation falls apart as well.
Part of the flaw in this interpretation is that it assumes only good things happen to good people and only bad things can happen to bad people. But because God does so much for us we often feel all things come from God but that denies the free will and agency of all Gods' children.
Blessings and hardships are often due to the words and actions of others, not everything good or bad comes from God, often it comes from a neighbor or coworker, friends and family. We all have greater influence than we see day to day.
But as Jesus said "No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them." 
By harming one you may harm all and so God does not gather up all the sinners and cast them away, we have until the harvest to ready ourselves.
And besides according to Paul "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23
So in a sense all of us are Tares compared to Christ so none is qualified to judge but Christ because only Christ knows the contents of our hearts.
The Atonement is what can turn a sinner into a saint, only the Atonment can turn us from Tares into wheat.

To Lighten One Another's Burdens

Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
2 Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Galatians 6:1-2

What I take from this is that if a man be overtaken by sin we are taught to learn from his mistake.  It reminds me of the idea that a smart man learns from his own mistake but a wise man learns from the mistakes of others.

It also reminds me that to lighten the burdens of others and reach out a helping hand, a healing hand in compassion is to fulfill the law of Christ.We are taught in various scripture passages to lighten one another's burdens. And doing so fulfills the law of Christ because to do so is to love one another as He loved us. All the law and prophets hang on the principle of loving God and all His children.  And with all the burdens life entails to reach out a hand in compassion and support can make all the difference. Reaching out in love can make a crucial difference.

The church released a video about depression and suicide, they found another blogger with a suicide attempt. Guess my near death experience was distasteful to them? But Ballard did say that we should reach out in love and leave the judgements to God and Jesus as I have written many, many times.  But I'm sure that bit is coincidental.  
Regardless it is an important message to convey and I'm happy he conveyed it. The blogger described his depression that lead to his suicide attempt. And he said his brother just being there for him to listen to talk and to just be there for him to lighten his burden so he was no longer feeling crushed by it. I can report similar effects from how others reached out to me after my attempt. My burdens were lightened and it made all the difference.


  If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: but if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it. Proverbs 9:12

This to me means that if one chooses to live alone then you will die alone. But if one lives in a community then we are tied to one another and those ties are maintained by love and also a certain degree of responsibility to be our brothers keeper.

As someone who came back from a suicide attempt I can tell you that what helped me, what still helps me, is the love I received from those close to me.  My friends and family pulled me back from the brink as well as the near death experience I had. You can be brothers by blood or by bond but it's that brotherly love one to another that keeps us from drowning when we feel lost at sea.

The video by the church I hope will make the impact on others that it has made on me.

Jesus reached out to others His entire ministry and likely His entire life. He showed love and compassion to all from saving the life of a woman caught in the act of adultery, to lepers noone else would touch, to the man born blind, to children who just wanted to be near Him.  Jesus loved so much that His love changed the course of world history for the better and the worse was done in His name but in opposition to His teachings.  And His teachings and doctrine drew their power from His actions and speech.  The way Christ lived is what gave His teachings such power and if we live and love as He did then we can affect that same change on the world today.

Good theology saves lives just as much as bad theology gets people killed.
But it is a Christ said; by their fruits shall ye know them.  A good tree cannot produce evil fruist anymore than a bad tree can produce good fruit.

Part of what I think we have lost in our modern era is involvement in the lives of those close to us, we Facebook or text instead of calling or visiting in person.  We are too busy to spend much time together and we lose something as a result.

One man can build himself a house but a thousand men can build a skyscraper, the more we connect and pool our resources and abilities and our numbers the more we can progress as a people.  Both in material and in spiritual terms.

The more we connect the more we are connected and the stronger we become.  The more we love, the more we are loved.  The more forgiveness we give, the more forgiveness we receive.  The more merciful we are, the more mercy we receive.

How Buddha Can Help Us Be Better Christians

There are many misconceptions about Buddhism in church culture. One is highlighted in a recent lds.org segment on temple garments in which Buddhists are said to be wearing certain clothing to worship God when in fact they are non-theists.
What Buddhism defines it's followers by is a little different depending on which school or denomination of Buddhism one looks into but generally what defines a follower is adherence to the 8 fold path. 
Here is the eight gold path from buddhanet.net:

1. * Samma-Ditthi — Complete or Perfect Vision, also translated as right view or understanding. Vision of the nature of reality and the path of transformation.

2. Samma-Sankappa — Perfected Emotion or Aspiration, also translated as right thought or attitude. Liberating emotional intelligence in your life and acting from love and compassion. An informed heart and feeling mind that are free to practice letting go. 

3. Samma-Vaca — Perfected or whole Speech. Also called right speech. Clear, truthful, uplifting and non-harmful communication.

4. Samma-Kammanta — Integral Action. Also called right action. An ethical foundation for life based on the principle of non-exploitation of oneself and others. The five precepts.

5. Samma-Ajiva — Proper Livelihood. Also called right livelihood. This is a livelihood based on correct action the ethical principal of non-exploitation. The basis of an Ideal society.

6. Samma-Vayama — Complete or Full Effort, Energy or Vitality. Also called right effort or diligence. Consciously directing our life energy to the transformative path of creative and healing action that fosters wholeness. Conscious evolution.

7. Samma-Sati — Complete or Thorough Awareness. Also called "right mindfulness". Developing awareness, "if you hold yourself dear watch yourself well". Levels of Awareness and mindfulness - of things, oneself, feelings, thought, people and Reality. 

8. Samma-Samadhi — Full, Integral or Holistic Samadhi. This is often translated as concentration, meditation, absorption or one-pointedness of mind. None of these translations is adequate. Samadhi literally means to be fixed, absorbed in or established at one point, thus the first level of meaning is concentration when the mind is fixed on a single object. The second level of meaning goes further and represents the establishment, not just of the mind, but also of the whole being in various levels or modes of consciousness and awareness. This is Samadhi in the sense of enlightenment or Buddhahood.

None of these points seems to me to conflict with the basic tennants of Christianity or specifically Mormonism.

Buddha taught that life is like a sitar string. String to tight and it breaks but strung to lax and it fails to make music but strung and tuned in between, or the middle way it can produce the most beautiful music. That's why Buddha taught that the middle path is best. All things in moderation even perhaps moderation.

But what Buddha said about life was this; Only three things matter: How much you loved, how gently you lived and how easily you let go of things not meant for you.

That seems to me to enhance Christ-like behavior and modes of thought. It has helped me control my emotions and reactions rather than letting them control me. I have gone from the embodiment of road rage to driving as peaceful as a monk in prayer. 

I have become a better husband and stepdad as a result of regular meditation as well as prayer. It has helped me cut ties with abusive and manipulative people. It doesn't trump my faith in Christ instead it helps me be more at peace even when a storm rages outside of me. These teachings have enhanced my ability to be Christ like by just putting truth in a different light.

Meditation has been scientifically proven to have the same effects and benefits as prayer they are two sides of the same coin and I practice both to aid in my own personal journey.

I feel Buddhism contains many truths and that since it is often seen as more philosophical than theological one can be both Christian and Buddhist.

Buddhism teaches a respect for all living things. From insects to animals to people, in Buddhism all life is equal and deserving of much respect.

I believe that philosophy bolsters Christ-like behavior and sensibilities. Buddhist on the whole are very much non violent much as Christ was who taught that we are to love not only those who are good to us but also those who hate us, our enemies.

I believe that the 8 fold path and the quote from Buddha about the three most important things in life reflect Christs views on the commandments which was as follows:

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Matthew 22:36-40

So according to Christ the foundation of all the commandments is love of God and all His children. In Buddhism the goal is enlightenment which can be defined as understanding reality as it truly is and understanding oneself and others as well.

For me Buddhism has strengthened my ability to be more Christlike more often. It has enhanced my understanding and ability to control myself, it has enhanced my understanding of myself and of others.

I understand that everyone wants to be happy but everyone has a different view of what happiness involves. That doesn't mean that others are wrong in how they chose to live. I don't need others to be wrong for me to be right. Or to feel sure in how I live my life. All any of us can do is what we feel is right as best we can and as best we understand what that is.

Paramahansa Yogananda used the term Christ-consciousness to describe a oneness with Christ. It means seeing others as Christ sees us, speaking to and about others as Christ did in His life, it means loving God and all His children as Christ does and to love others as He loved us which was the one great commandment Christ gave.

The Dalai Lama said that we shouldn't use what we learn from Buddhism to be a Buddhist, we should use it to be a better whatever we are already. And for me my studies of Buddhism have helped me to be a better Christian by acting more like Christ.

Buddhism has helped me achieve Christconsciousness through meditation and prayer on a regular basis. I just wanted to share incase Buddhism may also help others.

Handling Death

I haven't written much lately because I've been dealing with a family members recent diagnosis of a terminal illness. They won't die soon, they will waste away.
I can't think about anything else it seems. I haven't fully accepted this. My faith has not been shaken, it's one of the few things giving me strength now.
I feel like I've failed them by not taking care of them like I used to. I feel like I've failed them by not being around as much and I'm being vague because the rest of my family doesn't know yet and they don't understand the gravity of this illness.
I'm just dwelling on this persons eventual death. And it got me thinking about how most people handle death. Everyone grieves in their own way and for me it's different each time I lose someone.
I feel like my life has been gutted and I'm losing one of the most important fixtures in it. I feel like there's something I can do or should do but I can't figure out what.
I am not a comfort eater, I fast when depressed because my appetite simply disappears. I isolate myself and that has my wife worrying the most. I'm all over the map when it comes to the stages of acceptance. I go from denial to anger to bartering and back. I'm going through all of them without getting any actual closure or coming any closer to acceptance.
I don't know that there's a right way or wrong way to handle death. But there are unhealthy ways and I am guilty of that but I'm trying to stay strong and as much as I thought I was prepared for this eventuality it turns out I wasn't even close.
It will take time to accept this but the one silver lining I see is that I have them time to accept this and to also say my goodbyes.
My wife lost her life long best friend about two years ago and even now she grieves and leans on me and our kids to get through her grief. She will always have a void in her life left by that friend and I will always have a void left in mine when my family member dies.
But I believe that we will be reunited with all those we've lost along the way. They will be at peace and healthy and whole again. It's not just that those we've lost will be in a better place, we will be too.

Be The Message

You can preach the gospel message but it is much more effective and so much more powerful to be the message. Actions speak louder than words and true examples mean more to people than anything else does.
Don't tell me Jesus loves me but show me in the way you love all His children including me. Jesus showed us the way more in how He lived, how He talked to others and how He loved others than He did by preaching. It's not that His teachings were weak its that how He lived is what gave His teachings their full power.

Love is the essence of the gospel according to a conference talk by President Monson.
And Jesus said this about the commandments: "Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." Matthew 22:37-40

And Jesus added only one commandment which was;  34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

Jesus also taught to love our enemies and our neighbors.

But what is most striking to me is that He said "By this(Christ-like love) all will know that you are my disciples." And He said essentially that love of God and all His children are the foundation of all the commandments.

When we become the message we imbue that love within the hearts and minds of those we know and all those we meet.

To be the message of the gospel is to be the miracle we would like to see in the world. To be the Dr. King when he was needed. He didn't choose greatness, greatness was thrust upon him. When the civil rights era started many locals in Alabama went to their reverend for comfort but also guidance. Their local reverend was Dr. Martin Luther King.

He was an ordinary man with many faults and flaws who became great when he became the message of understanding, love and peace he wished to see.

We don't need to focus on great examples of great people as much as we need to become the gospel message. One person can make a difference but all of us could change the world by becoming the message.

Gandhi said "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

If we can't find the gospel in the world we can be the gospel. If we can't find christlike love we can feel Christs love transform us and thereby transform others. 

Being the message is how we can build up the kingdom of God on Earth as it is in Heaven.