Amber Belldene's Blog, page 6

What the hell I’ve been doing lately. (AKA the Writing Process Blog Hop)

Thanks to my friend Jessica Russell, who was one of my very first writing partners for tagging me in the Writing Process Hop. She helped make Blood Vine richer with fabulous suggestions for deepening the characterization of Zoey, and I’ve learned so much from her.  Her debut novel The Dressmaker’s Duke blew me away with its sensual, beautiful descriptions and lovable characters. And soon you can read it too!

I met Jess in an RWA forum where she posted a blurb for a book about a duke who repaired watches.  Sending her an email to say I loved it turned out to be one of the best decisions in my writing career.  You can hear about her latest WIP here:

http://jessrussellromance.com/

What am I working on?

I’m working on three things at once, a historical paranormal romance set in San Francisco, which I’ve been working on for a long, long time.   It’s cool to have characters and critique partners pushing and demanding I make a book better and better.  Thank the Goddess (the one in the book), I think it’s very nearly done!   And I still owe my Blood Vine series readers a Pedro and Lucas short story which is outlined, but this other books has refused to let me go.  I am thinking of calling that story “Blood Eternal,” and of drinking a lot of port while I write it, because I want it to be decadent, spicy, and very, very sweet!

Once that’s finished, I will start revisions on a contemporary romance starring two Episcopal priests—one of my writing friends called it “The Secret Lives of Priests” although I was thinking more “Sex in the City goes to Seminary,” for the series.  That’s been fun to write, and I’ve worked with some new critique partners on the book, which has provided a chance to grow as a writer.  I still have some major work to do on it before it’s done but I am very excited about that book!

How does my work differ from others of its genre?

This is an interesting question. I think my work is full of a bit more gray area and ambivalence than much of the romance genre. I like a character to be complicated, flawed, and sometimes even temporarily unsympathetic.  So, for example, my contemporary WIP about the priests starts of with the premise that the otherwise very likable heroine told a harmless lie that had major, unexpected consequences.  Most of my readers weren’t troubled, but one dear one was.  And so now I have to consider whether I can make the heroine’s choice more sympathetic by going deeper into her experience, leave it as it is, or whether I should alter the premise of the book. This sort of gray area creativity is hard work, although it’s also hard work to write characters that are unique, interesting, and which fall easily into the heroic conventions of the genre.

If I found that easy, I might try it!

Why do I write what I do?

Very plainly, I write what interests me, about characters that interest me.  I don’t start with a virtue or a theme, but just one idea and see where it takes me.  I’ve tried to write issue-based, or thematic stories, but the characters and the worlds always take me in other directions.  For me, themes emerge rather than inspire.

I also think my writing is infused with my world view, even though the worlds are sometimes paranormal.  Wherever I find humor, meaning, and pleasure in real life—I take my readers to those places, those moments.

A few weeks (or was it months?) ago there was a kerfluffle on the Internet about that writer telling J.K. Rowling to stop publishing and give others a chance, and the primary question her essay left me with was this: Why would anyone want to read a book written by this this author, given what her essay has shown us about how she sees the world? (That is, as a place of scarce success, dog-eat-dog writers, and where adults shouldn’t read Harry Potter, although she never had.)

Sometimes I get blue, or stressed, but for the most part, I am completely in love with the universe and find nearly all of God’s creatures profoundly sympathetic, even the bad guys.  If you want to live for a while in the head of someone who feels that way, you might like my books.

How does your writing process work?

It’s messy and manic and pretty compulsive, to be honest.  I’m not much of a plotter, and prefer to learn things about my world and characters by writing, not planning.  I’ve learned I can really only think about my writing by writing, not via spreadsheets or lists, although I like spreadsheets in other parts of my life

My process in a nutshell:  I draft, I do a quick revision, I ask for initial feedback, I revise, I ask for more feedback, I revise again.  I also make use of text-to-speech for help editing my work.  Listening to what I’ve written engages another part of my brain and allows me to multitask, which is unfortunately very necessary in my busy life as a mom of toddler twins, full-time priest, wife and writer.

I am most happy writing a new story, and right now I am a little nuts because I haven’t put any new words on the page for weeks as I polish this WIP!

Look out Pedro and Lucas!

And now, I’m tagging my friend Marlene Relja now to tell us about her writing process:

http://marlenerelja.com/marlenes-musings/

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The Grown-Ass Man Blog Hop

I’m joining with other Omnific authors this week to celebrate what we love about adult male characters, as opposed to young ones or new adult ones, or those who just act juvenile

Together, we’re giving away a $50 Amazon Gift Card–just think how many books about grown-ass men you can read if you win that!

So here’s what I love about a grown-ass man:

He has a career, passions, a purpose, and responsibilities.  He’s lived, he’s lost, he’s loved. His character is rich, complex, and not without flaws.  He may simply be an ordinary guy, but he knows himself  and he knows what he wants, and that’s enough to make him a hero.

When he meets a woman who makes it through his defenses, we know this connection is not impulsive or adolescent.  We delight in the love interest who can bring a grown man to his knees, and adore her when she shows him love instead. 

Of course every grown-ass hero has his inner obstacle, which he must overcome to be with his heroine (or his other hero), but he probably knows what it is.  The decision to change after years, decades, (or in the case of my vampires) centuries of living a certain way–I find that choice poignant and profoundly romantic.

When I think about my favorite grown-ass male characters, I think about Sebastian Ballister, the notorious Marquess of Dain in Loretta Chase’s beloved Lord of Scoundrels, or J.R. Ward’s Vishous, who I happen to love. It’s funny to me that both of those characters were abused by their fathers, and their internal conflicts revolve around those past traumas. I think I may have a real soft spot for that issue.  A grown-ass man might have a dark past, which makes his survival and successes all the more heroic.

Andre Maras, the patriarch of my Blood Vine series, is a grown-ass vampire, and one of the things I enjoyed most about his character was the many ways he expressed his fatherly care for those in his household–it’s a wide range of dad-like behaviors, from shit talk to grave sacrifice. Perhaps that’s no coincidence, since I began writing the series shortly after my kids were born, and was falling even more deeply in love with my husband as I watched him become a father.

The grown-ass man has a sense of duty. He may be gruff, he may even be a bad-boy, he may pretend to be a loner, but deep down, he takes his responsibilities to others seriously and I love that!

If you want to read about Andre and the other grown-ass vampires of the series, leave me a comment on this post.  I’ll give away the first book in the series, Blood Vine to one commenter.

What I really want to know is, who is your favorite grown-ass hero? Is there one guy that stands out as the most wise, self-aware, mature, or fatherly? If you have one, tell us his flaw too.  And if you’re a writer, I’d love to hear what you find challenging about writing a grown-ass man?

The grand-prize giveaway is hosted on the Omnific Publishing blog and these are the other participating authors:

Autumn Markus, author of The Art of Appreciation

Feather Stone, author of The Guardian’s Wildchild

Jennifer Lane, author of the CONduct Series

Julianna Keyes, author of Just Once

Nicki Elson, author of Divine Temptation 

Rachel Brimble, author of 16 Marsden Place

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Some thoughts on being a compulsive writer and a disciplined one.

This morning on Twitter (via Direct Message) I told my buddy Mark I’m almost done with my WIP.  He’d just finished reading another one for me, so he accused me of taking performance enhancers.

 

I get asked this fairly often.  How do I get so much writing done? What’s the secret to my productivity?

Lest you think I’m bragging, I don’t FEEL productive! I feel like I’m always chasing my own deadlines and never getting enough done. I’m not one of those people that writes 6 or 10K every day. Rather, I live in envious awe of them. I feel negligent about social media, and marketing, and my business plan is basically “write my ass off, submit, write more.”

But if I’m honest with myself, I am productive. While working full time and being a mom, I seem to be able to write about two full-length novels a year, plus some novellas and short stories.

Part of it maybe about style, and method.  I could tell you all what works for me, but I don’t really think it’s about that. I think it’s a quirk of my personality.

Basically this:

Some of you may have seen that quilt. It’s in my living room. And also the garden which I planned myself in spite of knowing NOTHING about landscaping or plants, by studying countless issues of Sunset Magazine.

And this:

And this:

 

Pre-kids, I would spend my entire day off (Fridays, back then) making pasta.  It was DEADLY on my diet.

It also made my husband crazy.  His method of decompressing is to browse the Internet or play video games.  Mine is to do ALL THE THINGS. And sometimes not to bother cleaning up the mess. Two-thirds of the way through that sweater, I’d be picking out the next pattern.  I still have quite a yarn stash at my house.  Maybe I should use it for contest giveaways? There are some knitters out there, right?

Still, I don’t smoke, or wash my hands too often, or obsessively clean my house (some of you have seen evidence of this fact too!).

Mark said this:

I’m not quite sure what my version of evil gain would be.  Control of the world’s supply of chocolate? Mandatory reading of romance novels?

I guess Mark’s right, it probably is a good thing I focus on writing. Right now, I’m very content to do my priest job, love my family, and tell stories. My goal is to have a long writing career and to keep reaching readers who like my books (hopefully more and more of them). 

 

Well, thanks Mark! And also for that fun little chat. It got me thinking about the pros and cons of being compulsive.

Of all of these compulsions, writing is the best one for me. I think my husband agrees.  I was knitting for myself, or the people I might give something to.  Certainly, the gardening and the pasta making was all for me (DH got very sick of pasta).  They are crafts, like writing is a craft.  My interest in storytelling started out with the same compulsive drive, this time to put words on the page, but with writing my compulsion transformed into a discipline, like an ugly little caterpillar becoming a butterfly.

Sorry. I know.  *sticks finger in throat*

I couldn’t resist

The real difference is, I write for myself AND for readers. I chose my subjects based on my personal interests, because I know I will write the best book that way (Alexis Hall said something similar to this when I interviewed him on Paranormal Unbound). But beyond that, all the deadline setting, the soliciting critiques, the ruthless self-editing, the back and forth with my editor.  The drive–that is about making the best book I can for readers and getting it out there with the hope someone will love my characters and their story as much as I do.

And along the way, I’ve also had to use discipline to find balance, to close the laptop and be with my family, to build in some time for exercise.

And I’ve found just how much my priestly work and my writing go together. I get to proclaim God’s love, and the ways it is experienced incarnationally (in our bodies and in the world) through romantic and erotic relationships. I get to speak out about the importance of women (and men!) claiming our sexuality publicly, and challenging people who use sexual shame to disempower others.

So yeah, God made me a little nuts. But I’m grateful. It’s fun this way, and I get a lot done.

What about you? Are you compulsive? Disciplined? A little bit of both.

 

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Why, Yes, That is My Vibrator

I had an absolutely wonderful time at my first readers’ convention, Coastal Magic, earlier this month!  I had not fully appreciated just how devoted and enthusiastic romance readers are until that wonderful, rainy weekend in Daytona.

One of my favorite parts of the convention was drinking wine and playing girls’ night games with authors, bloggers, and readers in the hotel bar.  The party had been organized by three authors I really enjoyed meeting, C.J. Ellisson, Boone Brux, and Hildie McQueen—sweet, fun, smart ladies.

As the evening was winding down and the stragglers were all seated around one table, someone shared a funny travel tip: don’t pack your vibrator in your carry-on in case it gets opened up by the TSA officers in the airport security line.  We got a lot of giggles out of imagining what the officer would say when he or she saw a Hitachi Magic Wand complete with attachments. The agreement around the table seemed to be it was wiser to keep the appliance in the checked luggage.

But then I started thinking—here we are, a dozen smart, empowered women who like to read and write about sex, worrying that a TSA officer or our fellow travelers will see our vibrators, when, it seems practically everyone at the table owns one.  What are we ashamed of?

So I suggested perhaps instead of hiding the thing, we should just claim it.  “Yep, that’s mine. I highly recommend this model, and it comes with a great warranty.”

Now, I’m all for not getting delayed in the airport security line.  And, I’m also all for privacy.  You may have noticed that while I am outspoken about sexuality—embracing it, enjoying, etc.—I don’t disclose things about my sex life on the Internet.  So, for both of these reasons, I can respect stowing a vibrator in the checked luggage.

But still, I hope all women can claim (privately or publically) their sexuality as a source of pleasure and wholeness.  If one happens to get “outed” as a sexual being, a pleasure seeker, a lover, don’t hide! Claim it!

At Coastal Magic, I talked briefly about erotic and romantic love as a window into divine love, and people told me over and over how much they needed to hear that.  It has a certain flavor when I say it, as a priest.  But the truth is, lots of authors say it better via carefully drawn characters and thoroughly explored conflict.  Every well-crafted story about sex has the potential to say it is good, and holy, and part of being whole.

I learned a ton of things at the Coastal Magic convention about how passionate readers are and how to connect with them better. (For example, you may have noticed I’ve been doing a lot better on Facebook, and yes, I’d love to be friends!).  And I came away even more convicted that writing about sex, just like being a priest, is a great honor, privilege, and responsibility.

So here’s to a day when every woman feels comfortable claiming her vibrator in the airport!

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Blood Reunited Release Day!

Wahoo!  It’s here!

Today is the release day for Blood Reunited–the third and final book in my Blood Vine series.

And there are already 10 reviews on Amazon by 5:30 am PST!

Yay!

Today, I’m beginning an epic month-long tour with Bewitching Books.

In the first stop, I’m on my friend Suzanne Johnson’s blog talking writing strong heroines–and by strong I mean ancient vampire warrior queens way stronger than their heroes.  And I’m delighted from the reviews to see just how much people love Uta.

Today, I’m also doing a big release party with Bitten By Books, which is super exciting because Andre Maras interviewed me by phone earlier today. The BBB release parties are always so much fun and there is a $40 gift card.

Several wonderful bloggers have taken the time to post reviews for Blood Reunited.  Here are a few:

Bookfever

Read-Love-Blog

Bitten By Books

Of course, I’m honored and flattered by these reviews, but what really makes me happy is to hear how much people loved this whole series and found the ending satisfying.

 

 

 

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And…Here’s Uta (Cover reveal and Pinterest Board)

It’s the big day! Finally, I can show you the cover for Blood Reunited!  If you have been following any of her quotes on Twitter, you may have been curious to see what my foul-mouthed ancient warrior queen looks like.  I adore this cover as much as I love all the Blood Vine series covers.  The art department at Omnific is so amazing!

Check it out here and let me know what you think!Squee! Isn’t her crown of vines awesome!?! Also, now that the cover is live, I thought it would be fun to show you all my Pinterest research board.  I use Pinterest to consolidate all the images I use to help inspire my sense of place when my characters travel to exotic places, or when I need to carefully describe an item of clothing, or simply don’t know what something looks like and need to be able to explain it.  I’ve purged this board of spoilers, but it might give you an idea of the feel of the book!

And here’s the blurb, if you haven’t read it yet:

Brooding vampire halfling and biologist Bel Maras is determined to create a cure for the wasting disease that plagues his vampire family. His work becomes essential as the Hunters intensify their global and bloody campaign. When Bel’s cure fails, only his ancient and estranged godmother Uta Ilirije can help. But seeing the ice-cold Uta reveals something shocking–she is his bonded mate.

She may be a dangerous warrior, but Uta feels her failures acutely. She has been unable to protect her kind from Hunters, and vampires are dying out. Worse, she tied Bel to her long ago in an accident of blood, then abandoned him for his own good–a choice he has never forgiven. Many days, she is convinced Bel and the vampires would be better off if she just walked into the sun.

Biology has fated them to be mates. Now these old enemies must overcome their past to save the vampires and come to peace with the bond they never chose.

There’s a Goodreads giveaway going on for a signed paperback copy. Go ahead and add it to your TBR! Follow Amber Belldene’s board Blood Reunited (Book #3) on Pinterest. 

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The Blessed Virgin Vulva and My Author Brand

It all started with this picture, which I saw in my Twitter feed via the lovely and talented @AudraNorth

I spent several minutes writing, deleting, re-writing my Tweet before I forwarded it along. And finally settled on this:

 The replies were great.  Here are some of my faves:

I know. I like, like, like too!

Of course, my initial stutter about what to say has everything to do with the challenge of how to represent one’s self on social media.  I love to play around with the sacred and the profane, not to offend but to inspire laughs, reflection and conversation.  Still, a brief Tweet is a tricky medium for that sort of thing, so sometimes being “speechless” about matters of sex and religion is best.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my author brand as I prepare for the release of Blood Reunited knowing that my next release will be a light and playful erotic contemporary novella One Sinful Night in Sao Paulo, and the one following that will be a slightly more serious erotic historical M/M short story in an anthology from Omnific.  I pretty much dabble in all genres of romance, which, from an author branding perspective is stupid non-strategic for one simple reason: not every reader is as omnivorous as I am.

So, I’ve had to ask myself, what is my brand?

Maybe you care because you’re an author who thinks about this stuff too, or maybe as a reader, you wonder what the heck I  think I’m doing  am promising you in my fiction.  Well, here goes:

1)   There is lots of sex in my stories. Because I really believe my tagline, Desire is Divine.  At their core, all my stories explore the earth-shaking holiness of sexual intimacy.  In the scene I wrote yesterday, the hero of my current WIP, an up-tight priest and ethics professor with a scandal on his hands, gazes down on his heroine and thinks of her vulva as “that sacred place,” because like me, he believes sex to be a religious act (I would add it can still being naughty, thrilling, pleasurable, and sometimes scary, and he’s working up to some of that).  Having just written the scene, I was immediately hooked to the Marian image above.

2)   There are lots of jokes in my stories. Irreverence is good, and funny.  Way back in Middle Ages, making fun of the church was actually a sanctioned practice (The Feast of Fools, or better, The Feast of the Ass).  Let’s face it, if we take ourselves or our beliefs too seriously, they become rigid (and not in a good way).  My characters make fun of themselves, each other, and all kinds of sacred cows, and my stories use humor to address all sorts of grave issues.

3)   There is lots of heart in my stories. Sex and humor don’t matter much if you don’t care about characters and their stories.  I believe God loves us because of our quirks and foibles, not in spite of them, and that’s why I love my characters too.  As a writer, nothing makes me happier than when two characters I love fall in love.  I’m a shitty matchmaker in real life, but I always succeed on the page!

4)   There is no pressure from me, ever.  Seriously, I’m not trying to convert you, or anybody. I don’t even believe in Hell, so I’m really not trying to make you think or believe like me.  But I do care quite a bit that folks know Christians like me exist.  I promise, I am not the only freak out here who believes God is happy when we enjoy sex and doesn’t get judgmental about who we do it with or what kind of kinky stuff we consent to.  In the end, my books are just like every other romance novel, and if you didn’t know I’m a priest, you probably wouldn’t guess.

That about sums it up: Sex, Irreverent humor, Heart, No Pressure.  It’s not as catchy as Desire is Divine, but it’s my brand, baby!

Maybe it makes you want to hop on over to Goodreads and add Blood Reunited to your To-Be-Read shelf.  Or maybe not. No pressure at all

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How Romance Novels Heal the World

I’m re-blogging a post I wrote for Episcopal Cafe more than a year ago, since I never posted it here, and I’m collecting thoughts for some non-fiction writing I’m doing. Hope you enjoy!

Several years ago, back before video on demand, my husband and I found ourselves with a stack of unwatched DVDs from Netflix. They were dramas, foreign films, Oscar winners—things I thought we were supposed to like. Months worth of dust had settled on them where they languished on the DVD player. Because the truth is, my husband and I don’t like to watch movies like that.

Back then, I thought that in order to be the emotionally deep and intelligent kind of priest I aspired to be, I had to appreciate gritty, realistic art and literature.

Thank God I grew out of that smug notion. Now I am convinced that genres with happy endings are not superficial, but profoundly hopeful and spiritual. They train us to believe in redemption and look for possibility. I like hard-boiled detectives like Martin Cruz Smith’s Arkady Renko, who tenaciously fights for justice yet never achieves it, even though he always solves the mystery. And I love romance—historicals, vampire stories, anything with a tortured hero—because they unequivocally promise a happily ever after.

The rules of these genres comfort me as a reader. They assure me that no matter what happens to the characters I have come to love, some satisfying ending will be reached, even if I can’t possibly see how halfway through.

Narrative is a powerful force—it’s a way we make sense of things, and find meaning, and recount our memories. Words make our lives, just the way God spoke the creation into existence in the first place. Religions themselves develop out of stories, the welling up of narrative within a community to describe what God has done. The transcendent mystery of God becomes real and concrete in those stories—a child is promised to Abraham and Sarah, a nation is born, its people become slaves and then are delivered into freedom, the law is engraved in stone, things go awry, and the prophets promise a better future.

And, like genre fiction, these Bible stories promise a happy ending for creation—they all point to a future of peace, of well-being or even paradise, and an eternal life in union with God. The promise of this future gives us hope, and lets us rest in the comfort of God’s care for the world, even when we suffer.

We writers call the moment of worst possible calamity in a novel the major black moment. Sometimes when I reach it in a book I’m reading, I give up, overwhelmed by emotion and my intense care for the characters. I throw my e-reader aside, abandoning the hero or heroine in their suffering. But because it’s a mystery, or a romance, I always come back when I’ve found the strength to feel their pain, so that I can rejoice in their happy ending.

In the story of Jesus, Good Friday is the heartbreaking turn. But there is a way that, for the church, Advent is an annual black moment. This is the time of year when the days grow short and dark, and we look around, noticing all the ways the world is not yet the kingdom of God, that the wolves are still eating the lambs, and we are still making more swords than plowshares. It’s the time we slow down and ask, how can I make the world better? And we are forced to recognize our own human limits—that sometimes all we can do is wait for the part of the story that is in God’s hands alone. On some deep level we recognize that if we flip pages, skipping ahead to the happy ending without honoring the real and present darkness, our joy will not be complete.

Several years ago, after struggling a long time to conceive, I became pregnant with twins and then miscarried them both. On the heels of so much joy, the loss was devastating. It was nearly impossible to believe that wasn’t the end of the story, and that I’d ever become a mother. Then my stepmother said something surprising–that when I died and went to be with God, I would meet those babies there, grown into the fullness of what God had intended for them. If I had been wearing my theological hat, or my political hat, I might have argued or laughed. Instead, I was a grieving woman, trying to make sense of a terrible loss. And the promise of that future comforted me through many sad months, until I became pregnant again and my children were born.

That part of my story did have a happy ending, but if you asked me today to read a novel about a woman who experienced a miscarriage, I would say, “Hell, no.” That is, unless it had a man with an incredibly muscular bare chest embracing her on the cover, and trying to rip open her bodice.

And I don’t feel even a little guilty about it.

Every sexy love story I read helps me believe in the future the Bible promises. Every story about good triumphing over evil, or someone’s hard-won redemption, or a couple overcoming fierce obstacles to be together—every one I read is a prayer that justice, love, and life will prevail. And I believe it. It keeps me reaching for my own happy endings.

God began this story we are living by speaking words into the void. It’s a story of promise, a story about a future on a scale so much bigger than our individual lives and personal tragedies, and perhaps even bigger than our human social crises. In Advent, we remember that God does not abandon us to the darkness, believing that when God finally says, “The End,” it will only be after the sentence “And all of creation lived happily ever after.”

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A Sermon on Romance

I was honored last month when the fabulous Jane George, VP for programming of my local San Francisco Area RWA chapter (which is an amazing group of writers!) asked me to give one of the inspirational talks at our annual holiday party.  I wrote a sermon, and confess I got pretty nervous this morning about whether it was appropriate, but the group was so generous and gave me back so much positive energy that it was the most fun I’ve had “preaching” in a long time!

Here’s the text:

Last year at this holiday party I heard four very inspirational talks by Sophie Littlefield, Carolyn Jewell, A.J. Larrieu and Shelly Bates.  They were wonderful–skilfully crafted and delivered, and I couldn’t help but think they were very much like the kind of sermons I aim to preach as an Episcopal priest.  Accessible, and interesting, full of pathos, and insight (their talks for sure, my sermons hopefully), and most importantly, full of hope.

Because of the hang-ups we Christians have about sex [Here's where my friend and heckler Alice Gaines interrupted to tell me to speak for myself!] people think it’s odd to meet a priest who writes racy romance novels.  And as you can imagine, I have a lot to say about that, but I’ll try to share only the most titillating and inspiring of my opinions with you today.  And the first one is about the power of storytelling.

The trend in sermon writing is narrative.  This wasn’t always true.  If you think about those old, three-hour long sermons delivered by America’s famous Puritan preachers, and which you may have read excerpts of in high school, they were epic exhortations without any thread of story.  And let’s hope the preachers read them like this *holds iPad up to nose* so they didn’t notice everyone dozing in their pews.  Or maybe you grew up on a steady diet of the deadly boring “three point sermon.”  Lord have mercy.

Now a days, preachers learn in seminary that story is what keeps people’s attention.

And as we writers know–story is the very best way to tell a capital T truth, because a narrative is a compact vehicle perfect for conveying a truth far bigger than the spare words used to tell it.  Story has the potential to be sublime. It invites wonder and reflection.  Stories echo in our dreams and return to us at the oddest moments–and that is how we come to know Truth. And every story that’s any good has a bit of that kind of universal Truth in it.

Like most of you, I’m a voracious reader and I’ve always loved to write.  But I’d forgotten about my childhood dream to write fiction until five months after my twins were born, which was rather inconvenient timing. After a year-long binge on paranormal romances, I decided to try to write one.  My husband cautioned that writing a novel is really hard, but my best friend and preaching critique partner, said, “You can do it.  A romance novel is just like a sermon.  You explain the conflict, descend into the dark moment, and then you fix it. And Voila–denouement.”

Dear Husband was right–it was challenging to learn the conventions of the genre and some of the basic skills of fiction writing. But my friend was more right. It turned out writing a novel is a lot like writing a very elaborate sermon.

Another thing preachers and romance writers have in common is the idea of core story.  Preachers are fond of saying we each only have one sermon.  We use a variety of scriptures and anecdotes to reiterate the same theological point over and over again.  Hopefully, if we’re good at it, no one notices we’re repeating ourselves.

My one sermon is something like “God loves us, flaws, shameful secrets and all. That kind of love is a miracle, and so we must love other people with it, even the jerks, the bad guys, and the reluctant romance heroes.  And when it’s hard to be loving, we can rely on each other for help.” This core story of mine evolved over the course of preparing dozens of couples for marriage and then preaching at their weddings, and somewhere in that process I realized I had developed a theology of romantic love and sex.

As a part of my training, I was a chaplain at a nursing home, and I learned on the dementia wing that even when people forget who they are, sex is still a big part of what it means to be human. And I’m pretty sure, after having several roommates before moving in with my husband, that the only way to really tolerate sharing house with someone is to have sex with them.  Those feel-good hormones smooth over the cranky, you-didn’t-do-the-dishes bitterness involved with cohabitation.

I believe in romantic love.  And I believe making it last is very hard. When infatuation fizzles out, maintaining a relationship is one of the great spiritual disciplines. Most of us married types will meet other people we could fall in love with, most of us will change over time, we might develop crazy all-consuming interests like writing romance, some of us will at times be so angry over something real or imagined that we consider ending our relationship, some will separate.  But I still believe love is worth it, because romantic love is one of the straightest paths to the divine.

God, or Truth, or Love with a capital L, as I might call her at weddings or RWA meetings where I know not everyone is a Christian–she is a mystery.  Maybe you call her “the universe” or “the sublime” or “collective human potential.”  Whatever you prefer.  The thing is, she is a bit of a tease. There one moment, gone the next.

In the Bible, when Moses asks to see the face of God, all he gets is a vision of the divine backside–God’s ass, so to speak.  We can’t see her, touch her, pin her down, except when we receive a dose of unconditional love from another person, or notice our lover is even more beautiful with those lines around his eyes, or we lose ourselves in sexual ecstasy.  Romantic, erotic love is perhaps the very best real-life experience of the infinite, of meaning and purpose that transcends self, of love that heals, and of hope that what we do matters.

Desire is divine–it is our longing to be loved, to be so close to another being that the boundaries between us disappear, to surrender ourselves to the greater whole.  And desire is our craft.

The miraculous thing about fiction is that happily single people and unhappily single people, happily and unhappily partnered ones, and people who have never even once been in love can have their taste of ecstasy in a romance novel.  No matter our life circumstances, immersing ourselves in someone else’s story means we get to share in their experience of transcendence.  It might make us more open to a love connection, or inspire our own private DIY pleasure session, or dispose a grumpy spouse more kindly to her partner.

Now you can begin to see why, to me, a romance novel is just one big sermon about the power of Love and what it does to us, and what we should do with it once we’ve felt it. My favorite romances are gritty, and quirky, and point to the hard work of making it last. And I can’t get enough of them.

Are you getting bored? Because I made the mistake of writing a three point sermon instead of a narrative one.  Hang in there. I’m almost done–this is point three!

I’ve talked about the power of story, and the power of love, and now I want to talk about the power of calling, or vocation.  Nearly every author bio I read states that from the time so-and-so could pick up her crayola crayon, she was scribbling stories.  Yes, it’s a cliche, and most of us probably have told some version of it, because it’s true.  The writing bug, the itch to tell stories and weave worlds and tie up loose ends and grant orgasms and concoct happy endings–that desire will not be denied.

I pretty much go nuts if I’m not writing. Even in the revision stage, I start to get beyond PMS pissy if I’m not putting new words onto the page. So I often have something new going even while I’m revising.  Desire and compulsion can feel dangerously close–but I choose to believe desire is good.  When we don’t repress it, we find healthy ways to express it.  We find balance.

Church geeks are fond of a famous quote from Frederick Buechner: “Vocation is the place where our deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.”  Like me, all of you are here because in some way writing is your deep gladness. Probably, we could cleverly argue that the world NEEDS more romance novels, too.  But surely, it needs more love, and that is what we really have to offer.

Before I began writing novels, I found I only knew what I really believed when it was time to write the sermon.  Now, that’s even more true. Writing romance reminds me what’s important, when I’m infuriated with my husband, it helps me remember he’s a lot like those stubborn heroes I love to write about.  Writing romance helps me remember the toddlers who won’t let me pee by myself are the ones I longed for through years of infertility. Writing romance reminds me I am good enough, and I can also always learn to be better.  I pretty much write myself into existence, and it feels good. And when I come here, I know I am not alone in that pleasure.

Last week, a clergy colleague told me she knew she was called to be a priest the first time she stood in the pulpit to preach.  And the reason she knew is because it felt like another experience she’d had, the first time she’d made love to another woman, and her body had finally belonged to her, and she thought “this is what I’m made for.”  That is vocation, that is having a calling, and the reason we are all here is because we share one.  A lonely, frustrating, thrilling, and surprisingly important one.

Sometimes it is far more frustrating than it is thrilling, but it doesn’t have to be lonely, not when we have each other.  I’ve read some of your books, your novellas, and your short stories.  I’ve read many of your blog posts and know about you the random things you decide to tweet. For as many of you as I’ve managed to squeeze in, I’ve tasted a little bit of what transcendence is like for you. Thank you for sharing it. I’m truly grateful, as I am for the friendships that come with being a part of this chapter.

Love. It’s a miracle. It’s hard. It takes other people to do it well, and also to write about it. That’s my one sermon in a nutshell. And now you never have to read any of my books, because you’ve already heard it all.

Thank you.

 

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I’m a featured author at the Coastal Magic Convention!

I’m headed to my first ever fan convention–Coastal Magic in February. I can’t wait to go back to my home state of sunny Florida where I’ll be signing copies of Blood Vine, Blood Entangled and Blood Reunited. 

February 6-9th in Daytona Beach, FL.

My fellow Paranormal Unbounder Suzanne Johnson will be there, and so will lots of great authors I love!

I’ll be bringing lots of series swag, and I’d love to have a glass of wine with readers in one of these:

 

Will you be there?

Are you attending other reader conventions next year?

I’ll be at Romantic Times in May in New Orleans too, and presenting a workshop on Sex and Spirituality there.  More about that later.

And the Blood Reunited release is just around the corner!  Soon I’ll be publishing a blurb and showing you my secret Pinterest research board.

 

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