Kirk Jones

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Kirk Jones (k3rk Dʒoʊnz): 1. English Director of Nanny McPhee 2. "Sticky Fingaz," rap artist and actor who played Blade for the television series 3. Canadian who survived a dive over Niagara Falls . . . only to return and pass upon his second attempt. 4. Boring white author of Uncle Sam's Carnival of Copulating Inanimals (Eraserhead Press, 2010), Journey to Abortosphere (Rooster Republic, 2014), and Die Empty (Atlatl, 2017) who often gets mistaken for the other, arguably more notable, Kirk Jones fellows. 5. Also not Kirk Byron Jones.

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Kirk Jones Don't write to publish. Not at first. Not for a long time, maybe.

Take the time to enjoy writing without the knowledge that not dropping a follow-up…more
Don't write to publish. Not at first. Not for a long time, maybe.

Take the time to enjoy writing without the knowledge that not dropping a follow-up book for a few years will cost you a bit of whatever following you've built up. There are only two points in an author's life where they write truly free of immediate influence:

The first time is before they've been published.

The second is when they find a steady schedule and a steady set of homes for their work.

It is a long time between point A and B, generally. so write what you can at point A while you can.

(less)
Kirk Jones It probably started when someone showed me one of those Darwin Awards books. It just seemed so cruel, mocking people for dying as a result of…moreIt probably started when someone showed me one of those Darwin Awards books. It just seemed so cruel, mocking people for dying as a result of ignorance.

When it comes right down to it, consumer culture evolves so fast that we're almost always kept in a state of ignorance about the functions and dangers of new products. But behind the scenes companies are making calculated risks, releasing products they know might kill.

You take that one step further-imagining corporations who intentionally hope to kill a small amount of the civilian population-and you've got the world's most passive aggressive, boring serial killer. That's ultimately what Die Empty's protagonist is. The world's most boring serial killer, murdering from behind a desk in the most mundane of states among the most mundane socioeconomic class in America.

The idea in its early stages was explored in a very short story I wrote for Pill Hill Press. I think the anthology was titled "Told You So." That was the first time I explored the concept, but not to satisfaction.(less)
Average rating: 4.08 · 342 ratings · 140 reviews · 18 distinct worksSimilar authors
Uncle Sam’s Carnival of Cop...

3.80 avg rating — 66 ratings — published 2010
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Die Empty

4.41 avg rating — 34 ratings — published 2017 — 2 editions
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Journey to Abortosphere

4.31 avg rating — 29 ratings — published 2014 — 3 editions
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Aetherchrist

3.97 avg rating — 32 ratings — published 2018 — 3 editions
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Masturbatory Entropy

really liked it 4.00 avg rating — 2 ratings — published 2016
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A Hacked-Up Holiday Massacre

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3.90 avg rating — 67 ratings — published 2011 — 3 editions
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Long Live The New Flesh: Ye...

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4.53 avg rating — 30 ratings — published 2011
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Tall Tales with Short Cocks...

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4.24 avg rating — 29 ratings — published 2013 — 2 editions
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Apex Magazine May 2018

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3.64 avg rating — 22 ratings — published 2018
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Death to the Brothers Grimm

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3.95 avg rating — 19 ratings — published 2012 — 2 editions
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More books by Kirk Jones…

[image error]If you try hard, growth is inevitable. Until it isn’t.


The reality of this statement goes against everything most of us have been taught to believe. We’ve been conditioned to believe that growth is some veritable cornucopia that can always be tapped into with a bit of gumption, savvy, whatever the bullshit buzzword of the week is.


This isn’t a new observation in any capacity.


Here’s a...

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Published on June 21, 2018 19:12 • 19 views

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Crisis Boy by Garrett Cook
Crisis Boy
by Garrett Cook (Goodreads Author)
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Skullcrack City by Jeremy Robert Johnson
Skullcrack City
by Jeremy Robert Johnson (Goodreads Author)
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The Indifference of Heaven by Michael Allen Rose
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Kirk and 33 other people liked Janie C.'s review of The Indifference of Heaven:
The Indifference of Heaven by Michael Allen Rose
"A constantly evolving narrative is found written on a stall door in a bar's bathroom. No matter how many times the bar owner erases the words, they reappear with further parts of a story of possible murder. The psychological tension increases as s..." Read more of this review »
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Giraffe Carcass by J. Peter W.
Giraffe Carcass
by J. Peter W. (Goodreads Author)
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
David Agranoff
David Agranoff is on page 130 of 165 of Vulcan's Hammer
Kirk made a comment on Saath’s review of Aetherchrist
Aetherchrist by Kirk Jones
" I’ll be doing exactly what you refer to next year, if all goes well. Thanks for checking it out! "
Aetherchrist by Kirk Jones
"This is an original premise executed cleanly and quickly. A very creepy and entertaining novella. The concept is super weird but actually cohesive and allows for a pretty easy suspension of disbelief. I would actually love to see another iteration..." Read more of this review »
Kirk rated a book really liked it
Batman Illustrated by Neal Adams, Vol. 1 by Neal Adams
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To be clear, I did not read every issue in here. But I really enjoyed the run with Creeper and the run with Dead Man.

These comics come from 1968 and 69. I really enjoy looking at comics from this era, but I’m starting to realize I enjoy the aesthetic
...more
Kirk wants to read
Death Angel by Robert Black
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More of Kirk's books…
“The dial revolves like the chamber of a six-shooter, and suddenly turning from station to station becomes a harmless form of Russian roulette. If I change the channel, I might miss something. If I don’t, I might miss something on one of the other channels. I start to understand why Bill kept them all running simultaneously. At the same time, while we’re all sitting around waiting for something to happen on the television, the world outside is passing us by. Imagine how many things flicker into and out of existence while we wait for incoming transmissions.”
Kirk Jones, Aetherchrist

“Why is it so important to make a difference? You’re human. You eat, shit, fuck, reproduce, and you die. Your essential mechanism is to perpetuate the human race as a collective. Individual significance doesn’t figure into it.”
Kirk Jones, Die Empty

“The first fallen leaves of the season skitter like vermin across the concrete. You wish they could carry away the refuse that's long been accumulating inside you. You imagine anthropomorphic leaves lovingly building piecemeal nests crafted from your sorrow. You wish your pain had a function other than sending you to the gym once a week. You wish you had a purpose.”
Kirk Jones, Die Empty

Topics Mentioning This Author

topics posts views last activity  
Writers and Readers : Ebooks 37 105 Sep 01, 2013 10:10AM  
“The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive ... but in spite of their religion, not because of it. The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetic in childbirth was regarded as a sin because it avoided the biblical curse pronounced against Eve. And every step in astronomy and geology ever taken has been opposed by bigotry and superstition. The Greeks surpassed us in artistic culture and in architecture five hundred years before Christian religion was born.”
Mark Twain

“The first fallen leaves of the season skitter like vermin across the concrete. You wish they could carry away the refuse that's long been accumulating inside you. You imagine anthropomorphic leaves lovingly building piecemeal nests crafted from your sorrow. You wish your pain had a function other than sending you to the gym once a week. You wish you had a purpose.”
Kirk Jones, Die Empty

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We are the second class of Eraserhead Press's New Bizarro Author Series. We're awesome.
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43519 readers advisory for all — 4209 members — last activity Nov 12, 2018 04:53PM
life's too short to read crappy books. this is why readers' advisory exists. feel free to join if you are looking for "a book like____" or "a book tha ...more
28367 Steampunk, New Weird, Bizarro, Scifi, Fantasy Book Group — 1988 members — last activity Oct 22, 2018 12:27PM
This Group is for a wide range of readers. Those who are already into Fantasy, Scifi, Steampunk, New Weird and Bizzaro. Or those that are just branchi ...more
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A group for writers and readers to meet and discuss books and the writing process. The group allows promotion of books, but please post in the designa ...more
53449 Apex Publications — 51 members — last activity May 17, 2017 07:33AM
To discuss the thrilling books of Apex Publications. Or our rock star authors. Or the genre in general.
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Comments (showing 1-13)    post a comment »
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message 13: by Kirk

Kirk Michelle wrote: "Thanks for the friend request, I look forward to reading more of your reviews!"

No problem, Michelle. I look forward to seeing your reviews as well! Read on!


Michelle-- Fawn & Fern Books Thanks for the friend request, I look forward to reading more of your reviews!


message 11: by Kirk

Kirk Kate wrote: "Hi Kirk, I'm having trouble connecting to your group. Every time I click on the link it says "Sorry group not found." Then I did a word search to see if it would come up that way and nope it sure d..."

I thought it was a Q&A event initially. As soon as I found out it was a group very similar to the one Steve created I deleted the group, figuring I could answer the questions under threads on there.

Sorry about the mixup! 2am does strange things to me :)


message 10: by Kate

Kate Hi Kirk, I'm having trouble connecting to your group. Every time I click on the link it says "Sorry group not found." Then I did a word search to see if it would come up that way and nope it sure didn't. I would love to join in on the discussion, but technology isn't liking me today, just thought you should know.


message 9: by Kirk

Kirk Jasmine wrote: "I just marked your book as want because you're attractive. no wait it might also have been because caris said something nice about it."

Well thank you. I didn't see this comment (or any comments on my profile page for that matter) until today, thus the delayed response.


message 8: by Kirk

Kirk Bradley wrote: "Thank you for adding me as a friend. =)

Dreamsbane of Tamalor by Bradley James Simpson"


No problem! I look forward to reading your reviews in the near future Bradley.


message 7: by Kirk

Kirk G N wrote: "All the best for 2011, Kirk."

Thanks. Same to you. I didn't see these comments until today. Didn't know we could comment on one another's profile pages.


message 6: by Kirk

Kirk Hmm, I apparently don't know shit about Goodreads, because I never saw any of these comments. Sorry all!


Scribble Orca All the best for 2011, Kirk.


Scribble Orca Hey, Kirk! Review yourself salaciously and self-promote your event!


message 3: by Scribble (last edited Dec 10, 2010 08:46AM)

Scribble Orca You wish you were my favourite author.

(friending me could get you anywhere.)


Bradley Thank you for adding me as a friend. =)

Dreamsbane of Tamalor by Bradley James Simpson


Jasmine I just marked your book as want because you're attractive. no wait it might also have been because caris said something nice about it.


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