Lynne M. Spreen's Blog, page 24

Review of Hard Choices by Hillary Rodham Clinton

Hard Choices by Hillary Rodham Clinton

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


This is a long review. If you want the Readers' Digest version, skip to the last couple paragraphs.

Not ten minutes into the recent televised interview of Hillary Clinton by Diane Sawyer, the UPS guy rang our doorbell. It was HRC's new book, Hard Choices. As soon as the interview was over, I cracked open the book and read one hundred pages the first night. It was more interesting than I expected. I enjoyed reading about her travels, the difficult and complex situations that arose in the world and the challenges to resolve those issues when the Obama White House said fix it.

I also enjoyed the occasional stories with more of a personal touch - her love for her mother; her walks with Bill to puzzle out tough answers; the kindness shown to her by the other Secretaries of State, most notably the warmth of Condoleeza Rice; and the affection she and Aung San Suu Kyi of Burma felt for each other. There isn't much humor in this book, but you do get a sense of the profound irony sometimes. Like when the tenacious Richard Holbrooke continues arguing his point while following her into the ladies' room. In Pakistan.

A hundred pages in, she acknowledges her mistake in voting for the war in Iraq, and she uses that word several times. She expresses deep regret which I appreciated. (I've been voting for presidents since 1972, and I remember that the Clintons are not apologizers. But this one was essential.)

As I'm reading about Afghanistan, the peace efforts and attempts at negotiations are so complex, and her accounts so detailed (and this is only one country, albeit a hugely problematic one) that I can't imagine any other candidate being president. She's just too experienced and knowledgeable - probably the reason she wrote the book. Hard Choices is called a "memoir," but if it's a memoir, then a world atlas is TripAdvisor. Would be cool to read more personal accounts, such as the time Hill and Bill got to rendezvous in Bogata', Columbia for dinner and a walk, but this isn't that kind of book.

One day later, I have read about Pakistan, Europe, Russia, and now I'm starting on Latin America. Pakistan was interesting because of its involvement with the Taliban and Al Qaeda, and its corrupt military. Russia is interesting and scary because of Putin.

We're into Africa now. Very informative and educational (although I wonder how objective it is, considering her plans). She does give the Bush administration credit at times, while also dropping occasional criticisms - although thankfully the tone of the book is fairly positive and I'm sure she could say a lot worse if she chose.

Another sixty-some pages and I've been educated as to Mrs. Clinton's perspective on Israel and the Arab countries, including the Arab Spring. Her book has been out a few days now, and pundits, even friendly ones, are criticizing her careful descriptions and rationalizations of her actions while on the world stage. I'm not as smart as her, and I trust that she has a keen sense of the dynamics between and among countries, but the book is lacking something. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think it's candor. Or objectivity. This is like a textbook, only a shade more chatty. Hillary is definitely laying out her view of America's relationships around the globe.

I'm about to start on Libya and I fear it's going to be a full-blown defense of her role in the Benghazi attack.

Okay, Libya is interesting, but I'm so tired of the phrase, "on the ground." You hear it everywhere these days, and Mrs. Clinton uses it exhaustively. On page 367, I began counting, but by page 403, she had used the phrase thirteen more times, and I figured I made my point, so I stopped. Where was the editor?

I'm reading all about Iran now, and I realize that the reason this book is so interesting, in spite of being pretty dense writing, is because there is a certain degree of dramatic tension. As I read about the machinations of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, for example, there's always the question of what is going to happen, which pulls you along and keeps you reading. (Of course we know "what is going to happen" on one level, but I mean behind the scenes.)

Okay, we're through the tour of global countries, and now we're covering issues, which is not captivating. If Mrs. Clinton isn't laying out her campaign platform, she's lobbying for a professorship. She's addressing climate change, jobs (relative to foreign countries, trade, and an even playing field - she's making an argument that the Secretary of State must engage, as she did, in "economic statecraft"), the foolishness of Congress re debt limit ultimata, working conditions around the world, human trafficking, energy policy at home and abroad, the middle class here and abroad, global sustainability, and the situation of women and girls everywhere.

I'm skimming now. I've churned through a hundred pages a night for the past five, and frankly, I can't read any more. If I were a campaign strategist, I would feel differently, but as a normal citizen reader, I've done my best.

I like Mrs. Clinton, and I think she'd be a capable president, but I can't recommend buying this book. It's for political operatives. If you really want to know where she stands, wait until the campaign heats up.

I feel I've just audited a course on world politics and economics. It's a complicated, dangerous, and fascinating world. Personal relationships with world leaders seems critically important, and Mrs. Clinton knows more of them, probably, than anyone on the planet. And even if you discounted half of everything she says, the woman is a negotiator who succeeded in bringing about solutions between unwilling parties. She talks about using "smart power," but I think her account is equally a testament to "soft power," and I think it's time a woman had a chance to show what she could do from the Oval Office.



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A Feminist Salutes Fathers’ Day

In honor of Fathers’ Day, I, a lifelong feminist, would like to salute fathers everywhere and, in particular, my husband, son, stepson, and son-in-law. They are all awesome dads.

Partly I’m motivated because of a weird backlash going on right now against feminism. Some people say it’s about hating men. Nothing could be further from the truth. The feminism I fell in love with, back in the 1970s, was about letting people fulfill their dreams and potential without regard to gender-related cultural conventions.

Like letting men cuddle and nuzzle their children, and cry if they felt like it. Stay at home with the kids instead of working. We were slow to realize it, but I think we’re finally coming to understand how critically important fathers are to their children’s development.

My own dad was a complicated guy. Because of my tough homelife, and seeing Mom trapped by her circumstances, I grew up vowing never to be dependent on anybody. I started working at a very young age, and had strong ideas about women being able to support themselves. A feminist had been born, and my dad, overbearing and dictatorial, was responsible.

In more benevolent ways, he helped me develop into the kick-ass professional woman I became. He was famous for saying, “Any excuse is a good excuse.” Which meant, of course, that no excuse mattered. Thus, as I matured, I became embarrassed to make excuses. I simply delivered, a useful trait in life and work.

As I came into my own, Dad enjoyed hearing my stories of the corporate jungle, and my increasingly clever vine-swinging. I was his business kid. He was my first mentor. Much of my success is due to him. I still have his monogrammed briefcase on display in my office.

Dad passed on in 2008, just before the Great Recession hit. Which was a blessing, because he lived through such a traumatic childhood during the Great Depression that, like many of his contemporaries, he still indulged in scarcity rituals right up until his death. Like buying food in bulk, and keeping a gigantic freezer packed with meat and staples, even though he was only feeding himself and Mom.

It’s been almost six years since he died, and I’m embarrassed to say there are days and days I don’t think about him, and many days I think about him without any pain at all. But sometimes, like when I hear Spanish Eyes, a great favorite of his and the last song to which he danced with Mom, grief comes roiling through my heart like a blinding, dark, smashing tidal wave. It seems insurmountable. Incomprehensible.

How is it possible I’ll never see him again?

Dad and Grandma c 1925

 

Review of The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd

Reading about slavery in American history is almost too painful; to me it seems comparable to the Holocaust. Yet Sue Monk Kidd has created a wonderful novel based on the life of the Grimke' sisters, two real-life abolitionists. I savored the historical detail, both in regard to American cultural history and African - and oh, how creative was Mauma's quilt!

The theme of the story is growth and resilience, and I enjoyed the feminist aspects of Sarah's development. The parallels between Handful's slave status and Sarah's mental enslavement were significant, although nothing could compare to the horrors of "the peculiar institution" as it was so ridiculously labeled. I recommend this inspiring book, not only as a reminder of a past we must face, but also as a great story of the bond between two women, and the courage they demonstrated.

Confidence is a Choice

Confidence, especially with women, is a critical life skill. Yes, skill, as in something you can develop. But why would you need to? Apart from feeling good, why is confidence important?

Because we now think confidence is more important than ability when it comes to getting ahead, whether on the job or in life, generally. Good compensation, happiness, and professional fulfillment may depend on confidence, according to Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, authors of The Confidence Code.

Not only that. Confidence is now said to be an important buffer to the stress of old age. Less confidence can result in lowered self-esteem, which can increase the production of cortisol.

Not born confident? Don’t worry. Per the book, “The newest research shows that we can literally change our brains (to make us) more confidence prone.” 

How? Well, you could read the book, but here are some take-aways:

Stop overthinking everything. It’s an evolutionary specialty that can be damaging in modern times.
Act! Summon up some courage, take action, congratulate yourself for trying regardless of outcome, and move on. Repeat often.
Engage in self-compassion. Whatever you would say to a friend when she’s feeling down? Say it to yourself. Treat yourself like a friend.
Practice / do the work. Mastery in one thing spills over into other areas.
Meditation can shrink your amygdalae (the region of the brain that amps up fear) and stimulate your prefrontal cortex (the calm, rational area).

If that’s too much work, concentrate on how you present yourself physically.

Practice power positions: spread out, take up space, and keep your chin raised. It’ll change your internal chemisty; no lie. Watch this video to see how it works. If you’re in a hurry, cut to the 4-minute mark. If you’re in a serious hurry, cut to the 10.
Don’t use “upspeak” (i.e. sound like a Valley Girl when you talk).

Kay and Shipman say:

Of all the warped things that women do to themselves to undermine their confidence, we found the pursuit of perfection to be the most crippling…you’ll inevitably and routinely feel inadequate.

But the pressure to improve (and its motivating force, the feeling of inadequacy) is everywhere in our culture. Best example: the magazines on the racks at the grocery store where you must stand while waiting to check out. How many headlines on each cover are about ways you can improve yourself? Try an experiment next time you look at the cover of a “women’s” magazine: strip out all the self-improvement headlines. What is left? Not much.

Lagarde in power stance.

Fight back, ladies. Step one might be to read this book. It is funny (Katty Kay learning to kiteboard), relatable (stellar international leaders Christine Lagarde and Angela Merkel comforting each other when male politicians beat up on them), and well researched. You can also read more about confidence at their blog.

So go ahead and try. If not for yourself, do it to establish a model for your daughters and granddaughters.

BTW, it’s great to be back! I’ll be posting here every Friday or so, and I’ll occasionally update the other pages on this website. If you want to receive an email when that happens, sign up in the subscription box to the right. Lastly, if you notice any typos or weirdnesses about the blog since the redo, please let me know here. Sorry about the contact form but the old email link was a target for spammers. See you around.

Review of The Director

The Director by David Ignatius

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


I respect Ignatius for his writing and his thinking. I've enjoyed listening to him on various newsmaker talk shows and I subscribe to the WashPo. Having said that, I think this effort is subpar for him.

The good guys - mainly, Weber, the protag, and his ally, Weiss, weren't believable. They were smart but oddly passive. The most aggressive thing Weber does some investigating. A critical part of this is even delegated to highly-placed secret friends. Their findings allow Weber to move forward in his quest to find the main villain.

And when the book wraps up, it breaks a cardinal rule in storytelling called deus ex machina, or ghost (God) in the machine. Meaning the hero should drive the triumphant ending, not be saved by having the Marines show up just in time (that would be Dr. Weiss, armed with - paperwork). Not DI's best work.



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Hope I Die Before I Get Old

Remember that Boomer anthem? The Who sang it in 1965. Well, I guess we bought the message. Here’s another annoying post on the subject.

Think yourself young. Because that’s the only good place to be? Because old = bad?

Come on, Culture, grow up. Of course, I mean Western Culture because this blogger is from the UK.

If you’re as annoyed as I am, click on the picture to leave her a comment.

 

The Most Surprising Discovery of My Life

I’m a little sad today. Yesterday marked the end of another year of babysitting, and even though I have a weird sort of empty-nest heartache going on, it’s time. I’m ready. So is Bill. He’s been with me every step of the way.

Let me point out that nothing could be more gratifying than the privilege of sharing this time with our grandkids and their parents. For me, that’s as essential as air. I couldn’t live without them.

But there’s a reason Mother Nature favors the young when it comes to procreating. Bill and I are in our sixties, and childcare is harder for us, physically and mentally. The last few months, we’ve relied on TV and fast food more than we’re proud of, and I’ve felt my patience wearing thin.

We’ve gotten away from friends and social activities, fulfilled as we have been with our family and work. But each generation must develop its own interests. My grandbabies are tiny little people with long lives ahead of them, and their parents (my son and DIL) are in their mid-30s, in the heat of the fight. They’re strong, beautiful, kicking butt and stressed to the gills.

Bill and I are in a different place now, on the other end of the timeline. It sounds negative, but only if you believe old is bad. Look at the good: We get to sleep in most days. We can travel at the drop of a hat. Shopping, restaurants, theaters, golf courses are ours, midweek. We’re less stressed-out and more confident than when we were younger. Yes, we have wrinkles and all the other stuff but big deal. As Mom used to say, people don’t like it, they don’t have to look.

In the months ahead, I’ll have more time to devote to my writing and to this website. Bill and I can get reacquainted with our friends – and with each other. We like to read and watch movies, and we have some of the richest discussions now, about life and art and politics…it’s almost as if, as our bodies slow down, our minds are getting stronger.

Lately I’ve been feeling a certain upwelling of joy, sharpened perhaps by a recognition of that timeline, and our place on it. Bill used to sell cars, and he’s told me there’s something called a “take-away close.” You want something more if you think it might be taken away from you. Older people are said to be happier, and one theory suggests it may be because of this. I’m happier now than ever before. Surprisingly, it’s good to be old.

Here are 9 more reasons why that might be true. Care to add your own?

Housekeeping note: if you’d like to continue receiving this blog and other updates, be sure to sign up in the box the the right. See you soon.

I’d also like to thank Mark Anderson, of AquaZebra Print, Web, and Book Design, for helping me through this process of shifting my website from WordPress.com to WordPress.org. He was responsible not only for helping bring my ideas to fruition for the site, but also for the critical behind-the-scenes work like migrating almost 300 archived and draft blog posts, getting me started with MailChimp email subscription services, and providing follow-up instruction and help. He’s smart, thoughtful, creative, and professional, and I can’t thank him enough.

 

If You’d Like To Continue Receiving Any Shiny Thing…

You know I’ve been remodeling this blog. I’ve got bits of virtual drywall in my hair and epaint on my clothes, but it’ll be worth it, because I’ve been working with a genius designer and the new Any Shiny Thing is going to be amazing!

We’re about two weeks away from the big reveal, but when we go live, you may find you’re no longer subscribed. I know, what a bummer! I definitely want to make sure that doesn’t happen, so please check back around the end of May and resubscribe. Let’s make sure we can stay in touch.

Wait, don’t do anything yet! Check back on Friday, May 30, and do what you did before: type your email address into the handy form. That’s it. See you in two weeks!

Review of The Confidence Code by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay

The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance---What Women Should Know by Katty Kay

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Review of Confidence Code

The Confidence Code by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay is a wonderful book. It's funny (Katty Kay learning to kiteboard), relatable (stellar international leaders Christine Lagarde and Angela Merkel comforting each other when male politicians beat up on them), and easy to read. Well researched, the book contains pages of helpful information, not only to understand why we as a gender tend to lag in confidence but also what to do about it. (Although the book would be good resource for any adult who lacks confidence, it's aimed at women.)

Apart from making you feel good, why is confidence important? According to the authors, ..."there is evidence that confidence is more important than ability when it comes to getting ahead," on the job and in life generally. Good compensation, happiness, and professional fulfillment may depend on confidence. Not born confident? Don't worry. "The newest research shows that we can literally change our brains (to make us) more confidence prone."

There's a lot of wisdom in the Confidence Code. One nugget is this: "Most people believe they need to criticize themselves in order to find motivation to reach their goals. In fact, when you constantly criticize yourself, you become depressed, and depression is not a motivational mindset." Also, "...Of all the warped things that women do to themselves to undermine their confidence, we found the pursuit of perfection to be the most crippling...you'll inevitably and routinely feel inadequate."

But most of us are perfectionists. How do we overcome these behaviors?

To get answers, Shipman and Kay interview and cite many thoughtful and engaging experts, who are quoted throughout the book, but the short course is this: Stop overthinking everything. Have courage, take action, congratulate yourself for trying regardless of outcome, and move on. Engage in self-compassion. Practice / do the work. Mastery in one thing spills over into other areas. Meditation can shrink your amygdalae (the region of the brain that amps up fear) and stimulate your prefrontal cortex (the calm, rational area). If that's too much work, concentrate on how you present yourself physically. Practice power positions. Spread out. Take up space. Keep your chin raised. Don't use "upspeak" (i.e. sound like a Valley Girl when you talk).

There's so much more, but here's the thing I want you to remember: the development of confidence is volitional - a choice. Or as Shipman and Kay put it: "Our biggest and perhaps most encouraging discovery has been that confidence is something we can, to a significant extent, control." What an important life skill for women of all ages to learn, and to teach their daughters and granddaughters.






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Review of Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult

Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Really enjoyed it. There was plenty of tension and suspense, the characters were believable, the emotion compelling, ending was pretty good. I only have a couple of knocks on the story.

For one thing, I like an ending better when the main character is the primary actor in bringing about resolution. In this case, and I'm saying this carefully so as to avoid spoilers, there are two main characters, with one seeming to me to be the more important. And that more important main character did not bring about the resolution. We're taught that story problems shouldn't be resolved with the Marines dropping in to save the main character. This wasn't quite that, but close. Unless you accept that the less important main character - oh, never mind. I'm becoming tedious.

Secondly, Picoult is a serious writer - she works very hard, obviously researching the heck out of everything she writes. But in this book, she goes a little far in sharing that research. At one point, I thought she was trying to do a good deed by tipping off attorneys and advocates who fight for the rights of gay people. Not that that's not a real service to humanity, but it slowed the story down enough that when I saw a soapbox moving into position, I began skimming.

Still, it was a fairly well-written story which enlightens the reader about a timely issue, so I give it a B+.



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