Mark Henrikson's Blog, page 4
April 1, 2013
Writing Process – Peer Review
This will be a short one because it is almost self explanatory. Find some friends, relatives, colleagues, complete strangers on an internet forum and have them read your book.
You’re not looking for tedious line edits (if they happen to find any by all means point them out), you are looking for high level feedback. Does the plot flow, is the dialogue decent, are the character motivations and actions realistic. The more critical the better.
I always have my older brother give my books a first read. He is really good about giving general comments at the end of each chapter about what he liked, what was confusing, what was boring, and so on. Most important of all, he is not afraid to hit me with both barrels if something stinks. You don’t want ‘oh this was great, way to go.’ You want it was decent but you need to address these things and the longer the list the better.
If you have just one set of comments coming back then it is easy. Go through it and decide if the items they point out need to be addressed or not. If there are multiple sets of reviews then you need to take it chapter by chapter. Read all the comments, decide on changes and then go to the next chapter. Don’t take it one set of comments at a time. Here’s a hint, if several people point out the same issue, you have a problem that needs fixing no matter how attached you are to the way you did it. If it is just a question of style or taste preference, then take it or leave it.
Finally, don’t forget to thank your reviewers. Reciprocate the favor, buy them dinner, send them a card or signed copy of the book when finished. Whatever makes them feel appreciated because they did you a huge favor.
Next up: Line Editing
You’re not looking for tedious line edits (if they happen to find any by all means point them out), you are looking for high level feedback. Does the plot flow, is the dialogue decent, are the character motivations and actions realistic. The more critical the better.
I always have my older brother give my books a first read. He is really good about giving general comments at the end of each chapter about what he liked, what was confusing, what was boring, and so on. Most important of all, he is not afraid to hit me with both barrels if something stinks. You don’t want ‘oh this was great, way to go.’ You want it was decent but you need to address these things and the longer the list the better.
If you have just one set of comments coming back then it is easy. Go through it and decide if the items they point out need to be addressed or not. If there are multiple sets of reviews then you need to take it chapter by chapter. Read all the comments, decide on changes and then go to the next chapter. Don’t take it one set of comments at a time. Here’s a hint, if several people point out the same issue, you have a problem that needs fixing no matter how attached you are to the way you did it. If it is just a question of style or taste preference, then take it or leave it.
Finally, don’t forget to thank your reviewers. Reciprocate the favor, buy them dinner, send them a card or signed copy of the book when finished. Whatever makes them feel appreciated because they did you a huge favor.
Next up: Line Editing
March 25, 2013
Writing Process – Third Draft
There is no real point in performing major line edits and word smithing in your first two drafts. Things are so fluid that a section where you just perfected the language may wind up getting cut or completely turned around. You may as well save it until the structure of the story is all in place. Then you can make your general descriptions eloquent and turn the wooden dialogue into witty extensions of the character personalities.
I usually start by running a spell check and change the options to also check for grammar and, most importantly, passive voice. What is that you ask?
Example:
Passive voice: The letter was mailed by Tom
Active voice: Tom mailed the letter.
The difference is subtle, but can really make a big difference in a book’s readability. One co notates action and movement while the other is just sort of there blandly existing. Big red flags for passive voice I’ve found are verbs in the past tense like: was, had, done, or to be. Find them and fix them.
While you’re at it, also simplify things if at all possible. Why use 10 words when 5 will do. If a sentence or paragraph rambles on you must find a way to rephrase or streamline the passage. Also, make the writing more colorful by adding literary devices like: alliteration, personification, analogy, oxymoron, metaphors, or figures of speech. Careful not to go overboard on it though, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, but used at the right time these can really add color to your writing.
Next you need to watch out for common spelling errors that spell check will miss. For instance your vs you’re, heel vs heal, sad vs said, thought vs though and on and on. These are tough to find so do yourself a favor and keep a running list of them so you know what to watch out for and can perform a word find on them to make sure each instance is spelled the way you intend.
Finally you need to pay attention to your crutches and yank them away. By this I mean your go to descriptive phrases. For me it is the eyes and smiles. I am forever defaulting to so and so said this with a smile, grin, smirk. It’s fine the first couple times but gets old quick, lest you end up with a nauseatingly repetitive descriptive novel like Fifty Shades of Grey.
Next up: Peer Review
I usually start by running a spell check and change the options to also check for grammar and, most importantly, passive voice. What is that you ask?
Example:
Passive voice: The letter was mailed by Tom
Active voice: Tom mailed the letter.
The difference is subtle, but can really make a big difference in a book’s readability. One co notates action and movement while the other is just sort of there blandly existing. Big red flags for passive voice I’ve found are verbs in the past tense like: was, had, done, or to be. Find them and fix them.
While you’re at it, also simplify things if at all possible. Why use 10 words when 5 will do. If a sentence or paragraph rambles on you must find a way to rephrase or streamline the passage. Also, make the writing more colorful by adding literary devices like: alliteration, personification, analogy, oxymoron, metaphors, or figures of speech. Careful not to go overboard on it though, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, but used at the right time these can really add color to your writing.
Next you need to watch out for common spelling errors that spell check will miss. For instance your vs you’re, heel vs heal, sad vs said, thought vs though and on and on. These are tough to find so do yourself a favor and keep a running list of them so you know what to watch out for and can perform a word find on them to make sure each instance is spelled the way you intend.
Finally you need to pay attention to your crutches and yank them away. By this I mean your go to descriptive phrases. For me it is the eyes and smiles. I am forever defaulting to so and so said this with a smile, grin, smirk. It’s fine the first couple times but gets old quick, lest you end up with a nauseatingly repetitive descriptive novel like Fifty Shades of Grey.
Next up: Peer Review
March 18, 2013
Book 3 Sneak Peek
The Prologue for book 3 was just added to the end of Centurion's Rise along with a release date of August 2013. Since the teaser chapter is already out in the public domain now I thought I would put it up on here as well. Enjoy!
Origins (book 3): Reformation Coming August 2013
Prologue: Separation Anxiety
Precious few moments in life compare to the exhilaration of combat; mortal combat. The thrill of never being so alive one moment with the prospect of not existing the next was intoxicating. Kuanti embraced it, he craved it and he considered anyone who thought otherwise not a true Alpha. The only limiting factor to his high was knowing his adversary did not share the same mortal jeopardy.
The Novi and their infernal Nexus device capable of regenerating lives lost in battle was infuriating. On countless occasions Novi fleets were decimated by brave Alpha warriors and yet the Novi collector ship simply slipped away to safety through a space fold. Then the lives lost were regenerated, ships recrewed, and the Alpha reengaged in battle like nothing happened. That was all in the past now though.
Space fold travel had one critical weakness. If the ship sensors detected a solid object between the craft and its destination, an event horizon could not be formed. This fatal flaw would be the Novi’s undoing. The Alpha finally perfected the ability to generate a mass density field large enough to obstruct their escape.
Today, for the first time, a perimeter of Alpha constrainer vessels had surrounded a Novi fleet leaving no easy escape. Finally his adversary had to face the same specter of death hanging over their shoulder as Kuanti, and that fact sent the primal rush of adrenalin coursing through his body with renewed vigor.
“We’ve got them,” Kuanti exclaimed while looking over Cora’s shoulder as she strained to replace the last blown power relay feeding the wave blaster systems. “Their fleet is destroyed, and that collector ship of theirs is damaged and on the run. It is only a matter of time until we locate them and complete our victory.”
“Yes, but the cost was disastrously high,” Cora responded coolly without looking back from her repair duties. “Our fleet Commodore was an inbred pup. He had the advantage of surprise and four to one odds while the Novi faced the immobilizing fear of dying for the first time in combat. Even a half witted runt could have carried the day with a fraction of our losses.”
Kuanti let loose a frustrated sigh. “You have to give the Novi credit. Rather than be rendered impotent with fear, they stood tall and held their own today. They battled through the odds and in what has to be the single bravest act I have ever witnessed; the Novi collector ship flew directly though a constrainer ship causing its destruction and a tiny gap in the constraint field to escape through.”
Cora allowed an angry growl to resonate deep in her throat at Kuanti’s praise for the enemy. “Lucky for us Captain Goron is in command now. He is the only reason we are even still alive to pursue that Novi collector ship. All the other captains went after those Onager vessels like they were females in heat to try and claim all the glory for themselves. Goron was the only one to use his head. He sensed the trap and pulled us away before those Novi ships self destructed. Otherwise we would be among the billions of atoms floating in space rather than making final repairs to win the day, and possibly the war.”
“Yes, Captain Goron is a worthy leader, strong and smart,” Kuanti admired, but quickly changed the topic away from his better. “Stellar cartography limited the number of systems they could have escaped towards down to three, and we have already thoroughly searched two of them. I tell you Cora, this is it. These next few minutes will be a turning point in our history and it is a privilege to be a part of it.”
Cora gave one last grunt and had her effort rewarded with a click of the power lead snapping into place and the soft hum of power flowing freely to the ship’s weapon system once more. “Now we have them,” she said with finality in her words as she stood up to face Kuanti, but found nothing but empty air behind her when she completed the turn. Her mate was off to report the good news and claim the credit.
“Wave blasters are back on line and fully powered,” Kuanti reported to his ‘superior’ with a familiar rush of adrenaline adding a hard edge to his words. Combat was upon him once more, even if it was just the pursuit of a limping and unarmed Novi collector class ship.
“Excellent,” the chief engineer barked and then moved his relatively petite frame to a communications console mounted on the nearest wall. Elohim was a very capable engineer, but reporting to such an unimposing individual pulled at Kuanti’s ambitious instinct. If only he had the courage to challenge his leader he could be the one giving orders in engineering.
“Captain,” Elohim said into the intercom. “Weapons systems are now online.”
“All of them?” came a curt reply.
An exacerbated sneer crossed Elohim’s snout as he gently shook his head. “No. The fusion torpedo launchers are still offline and need more time to . . .”
“You’ve had almost an hour and only accomplished half of your orders. This is too important for your incompetent excuses,” Captain Goron interrupted. “You are to oversee the repairs personally to get them back on line.”
The Captain did not even wait for an acknowledgement before cutting off the conversation. Elohim looked at Kuanti with resignation in his eyes. “Even working miracles is not good enough for that man.”
“That’s why he is in charge,” Kuanti offered.
“That and he stands a head taller than the rest of us,” Elohim said on his way toward the main corridor. “You are in charge while I am in the torpedo room working another miracle for our dear leader. Can you handle that?”
“Of course,” Kuanti responded with a bravado he knew deep down was only for show.
As he watched Elohim round the corner and vanish from view he felt a set of warm paws caress his shoulders from behind. He glanced to the side and found Cora hovering over his left shoulder. “Your first taste of leadership, he should not have done that.”
“No he shouldn’t have,” Kuanti said while forcing a confident smirk to cross his lips for her benefit. The woman’s ambition knew no bounds. If she were a male he had no doubt she could rule the entire galaxy. Kuanti shrugged off her grasp and was about to address his subordinates looking on when the world around them erupted.
A powerful blast made the floor buck beneath them and sent everyone to the deck. A sudden surge of air rushing in from the exit corridor drew Kuanti’s attention. He looked up in time to see an explosive fireball billowing toward the engineering chamber. An instant before the flesh of every occupant in the room was consumed by the inferno, a solid metal bulkhead slammed shut over the doorway.
An instant latter Kuanti heard a deafening groan of metal sheering away from metal and then a sense of weightlessness overtook him. He floated several inches above the deck plating before emergency systems kicked in to reestablish gravity and environmental support. He landed painfully on his knees and paws but shrugged off the pain to stand and take command of the situation.
“What the blazes just happened?” Kuanti demanded of no one in particular.
A junior officer, who’s name Kuanti was too flustered to remember at the moment, ran a damage assessment protocol on his console. A set of silent heartbeats passed and then Kuanti watched the young man’s perky ears go limp. “A fusion torpedo from the Novi vessel struck mid-ship and tore us in half.”
“How is that even possible?” Kuanti asked in open mouthed awe, but realized the answer was unimportant. The question was not how, but rather what now?
“Where is the rest of the ship?” Kuanti managed to ask. “Was it destroyed?”
“No, it is floating toward the third planet along with the Novi ship which was incapacitated by our weapons fire before the torpedo hit.”
“What about us, where are we headed?” Kuanti insisted.
“Nowhere,” the young man answered with the ominous resignation to fate of a death row inmate. “We eventually might collide with a hunk of rock when we drift into the asteroid belt between the fourth and fifth planets a few hundred years from now.”
Kuanti stood motionless in the middle of the engineering room with thirty crewmen looking to him for guidance. He was at a complete loss for words. The situation appeared hopeless.
After what felt like a silent eternity, Cora finally paced over to him and wrapped her reassuring paws around his shoulders. “You are in charge, Leader. How should we proceed?”
He swallowed hard and considered running from the situation screaming like a newborn pup, but then a familiar and welcome sensation lifted his spirits. He was scared to death and yet he had never felt so alive in his entire life.
A true Alpha embraced fear. Fear of death, and now the fear of responsibility. Kuanti slowly looked around the room and finally said with remarkable confidence, “Here is what we are going to do. . .”
Origins (book 3): Reformation Coming August 2013
Prologue: Separation Anxiety
Precious few moments in life compare to the exhilaration of combat; mortal combat. The thrill of never being so alive one moment with the prospect of not existing the next was intoxicating. Kuanti embraced it, he craved it and he considered anyone who thought otherwise not a true Alpha. The only limiting factor to his high was knowing his adversary did not share the same mortal jeopardy.
The Novi and their infernal Nexus device capable of regenerating lives lost in battle was infuriating. On countless occasions Novi fleets were decimated by brave Alpha warriors and yet the Novi collector ship simply slipped away to safety through a space fold. Then the lives lost were regenerated, ships recrewed, and the Alpha reengaged in battle like nothing happened. That was all in the past now though.
Space fold travel had one critical weakness. If the ship sensors detected a solid object between the craft and its destination, an event horizon could not be formed. This fatal flaw would be the Novi’s undoing. The Alpha finally perfected the ability to generate a mass density field large enough to obstruct their escape.
Today, for the first time, a perimeter of Alpha constrainer vessels had surrounded a Novi fleet leaving no easy escape. Finally his adversary had to face the same specter of death hanging over their shoulder as Kuanti, and that fact sent the primal rush of adrenalin coursing through his body with renewed vigor.
“We’ve got them,” Kuanti exclaimed while looking over Cora’s shoulder as she strained to replace the last blown power relay feeding the wave blaster systems. “Their fleet is destroyed, and that collector ship of theirs is damaged and on the run. It is only a matter of time until we locate them and complete our victory.”
“Yes, but the cost was disastrously high,” Cora responded coolly without looking back from her repair duties. “Our fleet Commodore was an inbred pup. He had the advantage of surprise and four to one odds while the Novi faced the immobilizing fear of dying for the first time in combat. Even a half witted runt could have carried the day with a fraction of our losses.”
Kuanti let loose a frustrated sigh. “You have to give the Novi credit. Rather than be rendered impotent with fear, they stood tall and held their own today. They battled through the odds and in what has to be the single bravest act I have ever witnessed; the Novi collector ship flew directly though a constrainer ship causing its destruction and a tiny gap in the constraint field to escape through.”
Cora allowed an angry growl to resonate deep in her throat at Kuanti’s praise for the enemy. “Lucky for us Captain Goron is in command now. He is the only reason we are even still alive to pursue that Novi collector ship. All the other captains went after those Onager vessels like they were females in heat to try and claim all the glory for themselves. Goron was the only one to use his head. He sensed the trap and pulled us away before those Novi ships self destructed. Otherwise we would be among the billions of atoms floating in space rather than making final repairs to win the day, and possibly the war.”
“Yes, Captain Goron is a worthy leader, strong and smart,” Kuanti admired, but quickly changed the topic away from his better. “Stellar cartography limited the number of systems they could have escaped towards down to three, and we have already thoroughly searched two of them. I tell you Cora, this is it. These next few minutes will be a turning point in our history and it is a privilege to be a part of it.”
Cora gave one last grunt and had her effort rewarded with a click of the power lead snapping into place and the soft hum of power flowing freely to the ship’s weapon system once more. “Now we have them,” she said with finality in her words as she stood up to face Kuanti, but found nothing but empty air behind her when she completed the turn. Her mate was off to report the good news and claim the credit.
“Wave blasters are back on line and fully powered,” Kuanti reported to his ‘superior’ with a familiar rush of adrenaline adding a hard edge to his words. Combat was upon him once more, even if it was just the pursuit of a limping and unarmed Novi collector class ship.
“Excellent,” the chief engineer barked and then moved his relatively petite frame to a communications console mounted on the nearest wall. Elohim was a very capable engineer, but reporting to such an unimposing individual pulled at Kuanti’s ambitious instinct. If only he had the courage to challenge his leader he could be the one giving orders in engineering.
“Captain,” Elohim said into the intercom. “Weapons systems are now online.”
“All of them?” came a curt reply.
An exacerbated sneer crossed Elohim’s snout as he gently shook his head. “No. The fusion torpedo launchers are still offline and need more time to . . .”
“You’ve had almost an hour and only accomplished half of your orders. This is too important for your incompetent excuses,” Captain Goron interrupted. “You are to oversee the repairs personally to get them back on line.”
The Captain did not even wait for an acknowledgement before cutting off the conversation. Elohim looked at Kuanti with resignation in his eyes. “Even working miracles is not good enough for that man.”
“That’s why he is in charge,” Kuanti offered.
“That and he stands a head taller than the rest of us,” Elohim said on his way toward the main corridor. “You are in charge while I am in the torpedo room working another miracle for our dear leader. Can you handle that?”
“Of course,” Kuanti responded with a bravado he knew deep down was only for show.
As he watched Elohim round the corner and vanish from view he felt a set of warm paws caress his shoulders from behind. He glanced to the side and found Cora hovering over his left shoulder. “Your first taste of leadership, he should not have done that.”
“No he shouldn’t have,” Kuanti said while forcing a confident smirk to cross his lips for her benefit. The woman’s ambition knew no bounds. If she were a male he had no doubt she could rule the entire galaxy. Kuanti shrugged off her grasp and was about to address his subordinates looking on when the world around them erupted.
A powerful blast made the floor buck beneath them and sent everyone to the deck. A sudden surge of air rushing in from the exit corridor drew Kuanti’s attention. He looked up in time to see an explosive fireball billowing toward the engineering chamber. An instant before the flesh of every occupant in the room was consumed by the inferno, a solid metal bulkhead slammed shut over the doorway.
An instant latter Kuanti heard a deafening groan of metal sheering away from metal and then a sense of weightlessness overtook him. He floated several inches above the deck plating before emergency systems kicked in to reestablish gravity and environmental support. He landed painfully on his knees and paws but shrugged off the pain to stand and take command of the situation.
“What the blazes just happened?” Kuanti demanded of no one in particular.
A junior officer, who’s name Kuanti was too flustered to remember at the moment, ran a damage assessment protocol on his console. A set of silent heartbeats passed and then Kuanti watched the young man’s perky ears go limp. “A fusion torpedo from the Novi vessel struck mid-ship and tore us in half.”
“How is that even possible?” Kuanti asked in open mouthed awe, but realized the answer was unimportant. The question was not how, but rather what now?
“Where is the rest of the ship?” Kuanti managed to ask. “Was it destroyed?”
“No, it is floating toward the third planet along with the Novi ship which was incapacitated by our weapons fire before the torpedo hit.”
“What about us, where are we headed?” Kuanti insisted.
“Nowhere,” the young man answered with the ominous resignation to fate of a death row inmate. “We eventually might collide with a hunk of rock when we drift into the asteroid belt between the fourth and fifth planets a few hundred years from now.”
Kuanti stood motionless in the middle of the engineering room with thirty crewmen looking to him for guidance. He was at a complete loss for words. The situation appeared hopeless.
After what felt like a silent eternity, Cora finally paced over to him and wrapped her reassuring paws around his shoulders. “You are in charge, Leader. How should we proceed?”
He swallowed hard and considered running from the situation screaming like a newborn pup, but then a familiar and welcome sensation lifted his spirits. He was scared to death and yet he had never felt so alive in his entire life.
A true Alpha embraced fear. Fear of death, and now the fear of responsibility. Kuanti slowly looked around the room and finally said with remarkable confidence, “Here is what we are going to do. . .”
March 12, 2013
Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest Update
Oh the humanity of it all. Origins did not make it to the quarter final round. This is a crime against literature, a tragedy of epic proportions . . . Meh, I’m over it now.
To be honest I had my doubts about my prospects. The first round was based on the 300 word pitch that I felt was pretty strong. The next round relied upon a 5,000 word excerpt (about a chapter and a half) that I really struggled to find a section that was representative of the whole book. With 4 intermingled story lines it was a tall order that I guess I was not up to. At least I know the summary book description out on Amazon was good enough to make it to the second round.
Good luck to those still in the hunt.
To be honest I had my doubts about my prospects. The first round was based on the 300 word pitch that I felt was pretty strong. The next round relied upon a 5,000 word excerpt (about a chapter and a half) that I really struggled to find a section that was representative of the whole book. With 4 intermingled story lines it was a tall order that I guess I was not up to. At least I know the summary book description out on Amazon was good enough to make it to the second round.
Good luck to those still in the hunt.
March 11, 2013
Origins Book 3 Progress Update
It’s been a little while so I thought I would throw in a progress report on Origins book 3: Reformation.
I hoped by now to be done with the first draft, but life got in the way a bit: kid’s basketball, work, kids out of school for snow days, you know the drill. Plus I had to fight through a little writer’s block. When I went back over the writing some of it was really flat so I had to spend quite a bit of time rewriting whole sections to spice it up, add suspense, change the point of view. The good news is it all was time well spent and I really like where things have ended up with the three completed story lines.
I just have 1 plot line still to write and it is in the present times so a lot less research will be required, plus it features my favorite character to write so that should keep the writer’s block well at bay. I will be really disappointed with myself if I do not have this last section done by the end of March so I can star gluing it all together and clean up the transitions, dialogue, etc. in the second draft.
My realistic estimate for final release is early August. Yep, 4 months of editing and rewriting the same story. Makes you want to run right out and be an author doesn’t it? The end product will be well worth the wait though so be patient with me and the payoff will be worth your while.
I hoped by now to be done with the first draft, but life got in the way a bit: kid’s basketball, work, kids out of school for snow days, you know the drill. Plus I had to fight through a little writer’s block. When I went back over the writing some of it was really flat so I had to spend quite a bit of time rewriting whole sections to spice it up, add suspense, change the point of view. The good news is it all was time well spent and I really like where things have ended up with the three completed story lines.
I just have 1 plot line still to write and it is in the present times so a lot less research will be required, plus it features my favorite character to write so that should keep the writer’s block well at bay. I will be really disappointed with myself if I do not have this last section done by the end of March so I can star gluing it all together and clean up the transitions, dialogue, etc. in the second draft.
My realistic estimate for final release is early August. Yep, 4 months of editing and rewriting the same story. Makes you want to run right out and be an author doesn’t it? The end product will be well worth the wait though so be patient with me and the payoff will be worth your while.
March 4, 2013
Writing Process – Fixing the Saggy Middle
One other topic to keep an eye on in your second draft is the dreaded saggy middle. The start of a story is interesting because it’s a new world, new characters, and new conflicts that the reader is getting to know. The climax is of course exciting and interesting, but what about all those pages in between.
Contrary to common belief, lots and lots happens in the middle of a novel. So much, sometimes, that it’s overfilled with action, emotion, or characters racing from one location to another. More often than not the middle third of a book actually ends up being overfull and out of proportion to the other parts of the story causing it to drag.
New characters—often too many—are introduced, while back story and info dumps find their ways in as well. Plot elements ramble. Characters grow verbose and contemplative rather than remaining active. All this results in tension seeping out of the story. Drama gets reduced; conflict is only fleetingly visited. This doesn’t have to be the case though.
Maybe you need to introduce a love interest, or have a story line get resolved sooner. Increase tension or play with the pace. Use a subplot or thread to raise the stakes, then resolve the subplot and use the resolution to create even more conflict.
An example of this in my writing can be found in my first novel Origins. An entire storyline revolving around Moses and the slave exodus from Egypt was added to give the middle some punch. Just be sure to keep the new elements fit and tight by separating the middle into its own beginning, middle and end. Use conflict and tension the same way you did in the beginning chapters, or hopefully ratchet the conflict up a few notches.
Another way to go is to trim the middle. Perhaps you should remove or combine some chapters to move things along faster. I know several times in my writing I have merged two chapters into one for the sake of pacing.
Unfortunately there is no magic wand to wave. You just need to put in the time to polish, edit and rewrite the middle until it’s taut and quivering with tension just like the rest of the book.
Up next: The Third Draft
Contrary to common belief, lots and lots happens in the middle of a novel. So much, sometimes, that it’s overfilled with action, emotion, or characters racing from one location to another. More often than not the middle third of a book actually ends up being overfull and out of proportion to the other parts of the story causing it to drag.
New characters—often too many—are introduced, while back story and info dumps find their ways in as well. Plot elements ramble. Characters grow verbose and contemplative rather than remaining active. All this results in tension seeping out of the story. Drama gets reduced; conflict is only fleetingly visited. This doesn’t have to be the case though.
Maybe you need to introduce a love interest, or have a story line get resolved sooner. Increase tension or play with the pace. Use a subplot or thread to raise the stakes, then resolve the subplot and use the resolution to create even more conflict.
An example of this in my writing can be found in my first novel Origins. An entire storyline revolving around Moses and the slave exodus from Egypt was added to give the middle some punch. Just be sure to keep the new elements fit and tight by separating the middle into its own beginning, middle and end. Use conflict and tension the same way you did in the beginning chapters, or hopefully ratchet the conflict up a few notches.
Another way to go is to trim the middle. Perhaps you should remove or combine some chapters to move things along faster. I know several times in my writing I have merged two chapters into one for the sake of pacing.
Unfortunately there is no magic wand to wave. You just need to put in the time to polish, edit and rewrite the middle until it’s taut and quivering with tension just like the rest of the book.
Up next: The Third Draft
February 25, 2013
Writing Process – Show Don’t Tell
Another key issue to keep in mind on the second draft of a novel is the phrase “Show don’t tell.” Don’t just say a character is angry, show the reader why. Make them feel the emotion. For example.
In Centurion’s Rise I retold the Bible story where Jesus enters the temple, sees the money changers and priests selling sacrifices and blatantly robbing people. He got mad and chased them all out of the temple with a whip.
Originally the scene came across really flat to the reader so I went back and started the chapter with a commoner entering the temple to purchase a sacrifice to celebrate the birth of his son. He experiences the unfair exchange rates and the priests forcing him to pay more than he wanted, and so on. By the time Jesus showed up to do his thing, the reader was already angry and wanted to do the deed themselves. This show not tell philosophy changed my ho hum chapter into a fan favorite that readers complement me on all the time.
Sometimes the solution is not so drastic as completely rewriting a chapter. Other easier ways to show rather than tell are:
A. Use dialogue
Dialogue allows the reader to experience a scene as if they were there. Instead of telling the reader your mom was angry, they can hear it for themselves. Dialogue can reveal a great deal about character, emotion and mood.
B. Use sensory language
In order for readers to fully experience a scene, they need to be able to see, hear, taste, smell and touch the world around them. Try to use language that incorporates several senses, not just sight. Feel the sweat trickle down their back from the stifling heat and humidity, or be overwhelmed by the putrid stench of sulfur, and so on.
C. Be descriptive
You remember learning to use adjectives and adverbs in elementary school right. When we want to be more descriptive, it’s easy to go back to those things that we were taught. But being descriptive is more than just inserting a string of descriptive words. It’s carefully choosing the right words and using them sparingly to convey the meaning.
Up next: Fixing the Saggy Middle
In Centurion’s Rise I retold the Bible story where Jesus enters the temple, sees the money changers and priests selling sacrifices and blatantly robbing people. He got mad and chased them all out of the temple with a whip.
Originally the scene came across really flat to the reader so I went back and started the chapter with a commoner entering the temple to purchase a sacrifice to celebrate the birth of his son. He experiences the unfair exchange rates and the priests forcing him to pay more than he wanted, and so on. By the time Jesus showed up to do his thing, the reader was already angry and wanted to do the deed themselves. This show not tell philosophy changed my ho hum chapter into a fan favorite that readers complement me on all the time.
Sometimes the solution is not so drastic as completely rewriting a chapter. Other easier ways to show rather than tell are:
A. Use dialogue
Dialogue allows the reader to experience a scene as if they were there. Instead of telling the reader your mom was angry, they can hear it for themselves. Dialogue can reveal a great deal about character, emotion and mood.
B. Use sensory language
In order for readers to fully experience a scene, they need to be able to see, hear, taste, smell and touch the world around them. Try to use language that incorporates several senses, not just sight. Feel the sweat trickle down their back from the stifling heat and humidity, or be overwhelmed by the putrid stench of sulfur, and so on.
C. Be descriptive
You remember learning to use adjectives and adverbs in elementary school right. When we want to be more descriptive, it’s easy to go back to those things that we were taught. But being descriptive is more than just inserting a string of descriptive words. It’s carefully choosing the right words and using them sparingly to convey the meaning.
Up next: Fixing the Saggy Middle
February 18, 2013
Oh the burn
Well it was bound to happen. After a lot of nice reviews I finally got my first 1 star today and I have to say it stings a bit. It reminds me of a case study from business school about the Frito Lay potato chip company. The most common complaint they get is the chips are not salty enough. Want to guess what the second most common complaint is? Yep, their chips are too salty.
Regarding my writing. Most people praise the multiple storylines while a few others complain that it makes the books disjointed. To each their own, it works for me and a lot of other writers who I admire. Can’t please everyone, but that jab about being unoriginal was just a cold slap to the groin. Ice it and move on Mark, ice it and move on.
Regarding my writing. Most people praise the multiple storylines while a few others complain that it makes the books disjointed. To each their own, it works for me and a lot of other writers who I admire. Can’t please everyone, but that jab about being unoriginal was just a cold slap to the groin. Ice it and move on Mark, ice it and move on.
February 13, 2013
On to Round 2 of Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest
Two big things happened to me today:
1) I got news Origins has made it into the second round of Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Contest
2) I landed a back flip when I read the news.
There are still 400 other Sci Fi/ Fantasy novels in the running so I'm not to getting my hopes up just yet. Next round pears it down to 100 on March 12th so Keep your fingers crossed.
1) I got news Origins has made it into the second round of Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Contest
2) I landed a back flip when I read the news.
There are still 400 other Sci Fi/ Fantasy novels in the running so I'm not to getting my hopes up just yet. Next round pears it down to 100 on March 12th so Keep your fingers crossed.
February 11, 2013
Writing Process – Second Draft
Which do you think is harder to write the first draft or second draft of a novel? For me it is not even close, the second draft is by far the most difficult. The first draft can have sloppy descriptions, hollow dialogue, and plot inconsistencies as long as the general idea gets across. The second draft is where it all needs to come together and tell a cohesive story.
The first task for me is always to bring the multiple storylines together. This is tough because if you have say three storylines, it does not always go 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3. Sometimes one plotline may have a large passage of time, say a transcontinental plane ride, so you place four or five chapters from other stories in there so the passage of time feels natural to the reader. Maybe a sequence ended with a cliffhanger. Do you get to it right away, or keep the reader in suspense for a few chapters? A lot of times chapter ordering is just as important to suspense as the actual writing.
Next I work to resolve any fork in the road decisions that still need to be made. You either turn left or right, and there is no in between. Make the choice and ripple any plot changes needed in the rest of the book. I also go back through and search for any text I have contained within [] which serve as notes to myself and address the thought.
Then I begin reading the story from start to finish as I intend the reader to experience it. I pay special attention to chapter transitions. A lot of times a paragraph or two will need to be added at the start or end of a chapter to pull the reader into the situation since they haven’t seen the storyline for a few chapters.
I also try my best to find any inconsistencies. Maybe your character is a Captain in the army in one chapter but you call him a Major in another. Unless there was a promotion in there, you need to fix this. In combat and action sequences I know I always have a hard time keeping straight how many good and bad guys are involved. If there are 5 bad guys, make sure all 5 are accounted for in the body, get away or arrest count.
Next up: Show Don’t Tell
The first task for me is always to bring the multiple storylines together. This is tough because if you have say three storylines, it does not always go 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3. Sometimes one plotline may have a large passage of time, say a transcontinental plane ride, so you place four or five chapters from other stories in there so the passage of time feels natural to the reader. Maybe a sequence ended with a cliffhanger. Do you get to it right away, or keep the reader in suspense for a few chapters? A lot of times chapter ordering is just as important to suspense as the actual writing.
Next I work to resolve any fork in the road decisions that still need to be made. You either turn left or right, and there is no in between. Make the choice and ripple any plot changes needed in the rest of the book. I also go back through and search for any text I have contained within [] which serve as notes to myself and address the thought.
Then I begin reading the story from start to finish as I intend the reader to experience it. I pay special attention to chapter transitions. A lot of times a paragraph or two will need to be added at the start or end of a chapter to pull the reader into the situation since they haven’t seen the storyline for a few chapters.
I also try my best to find any inconsistencies. Maybe your character is a Captain in the army in one chapter but you call him a Major in another. Unless there was a promotion in there, you need to fix this. In combat and action sequences I know I always have a hard time keeping straight how many good and bad guys are involved. If there are 5 bad guys, make sure all 5 are accounted for in the body, get away or arrest count.
Next up: Show Don’t Tell
