Mark Henrikson's Blog - Posts Tagged "writing-process-show-don-t-tell"
Writing Process – Show Don’t Tell
Another key issue to keep in mind on the second draft of a novel is the phrase “Show don’t tell.” Don’t just say a character is angry, show the reader why. Make them feel the emotion. For example.
In Centurion’s Rise I retold the Bible story where Jesus enters the temple, sees the money changers and priests selling sacrifices and blatantly robbing people. He got mad and chased them all out of the temple with a whip.
Originally the scene came across really flat to the reader so I went back and started the chapter with a commoner entering the temple to purchase a sacrifice to celebrate the birth of his son. He experiences the unfair exchange rates and the priests forcing him to pay more than he wanted, and so on. By the time Jesus showed up to do his thing, the reader was already angry and wanted to do the deed themselves. This show not tell philosophy changed my ho hum chapter into a fan favorite that readers complement me on all the time.
Sometimes the solution is not so drastic as completely rewriting a chapter. Other easier ways to show rather than tell are:
A. Use dialogue
Dialogue allows the reader to experience a scene as if they were there. Instead of telling the reader your mom was angry, they can hear it for themselves. Dialogue can reveal a great deal about character, emotion and mood.
B. Use sensory language
In order for readers to fully experience a scene, they need to be able to see, hear, taste, smell and touch the world around them. Try to use language that incorporates several senses, not just sight. Feel the sweat trickle down their back from the stifling heat and humidity, or be overwhelmed by the putrid stench of sulfur, and so on.
C. Be descriptive
You remember learning to use adjectives and adverbs in elementary school right. When we want to be more descriptive, it’s easy to go back to those things that we were taught. But being descriptive is more than just inserting a string of descriptive words. It’s carefully choosing the right words and using them sparingly to convey the meaning.
Up next: Fixing the Saggy Middle
In Centurion’s Rise I retold the Bible story where Jesus enters the temple, sees the money changers and priests selling sacrifices and blatantly robbing people. He got mad and chased them all out of the temple with a whip.
Originally the scene came across really flat to the reader so I went back and started the chapter with a commoner entering the temple to purchase a sacrifice to celebrate the birth of his son. He experiences the unfair exchange rates and the priests forcing him to pay more than he wanted, and so on. By the time Jesus showed up to do his thing, the reader was already angry and wanted to do the deed themselves. This show not tell philosophy changed my ho hum chapter into a fan favorite that readers complement me on all the time.
Sometimes the solution is not so drastic as completely rewriting a chapter. Other easier ways to show rather than tell are:
A. Use dialogue
Dialogue allows the reader to experience a scene as if they were there. Instead of telling the reader your mom was angry, they can hear it for themselves. Dialogue can reveal a great deal about character, emotion and mood.
B. Use sensory language
In order for readers to fully experience a scene, they need to be able to see, hear, taste, smell and touch the world around them. Try to use language that incorporates several senses, not just sight. Feel the sweat trickle down their back from the stifling heat and humidity, or be overwhelmed by the putrid stench of sulfur, and so on.
C. Be descriptive
You remember learning to use adjectives and adverbs in elementary school right. When we want to be more descriptive, it’s easy to go back to those things that we were taught. But being descriptive is more than just inserting a string of descriptive words. It’s carefully choosing the right words and using them sparingly to convey the meaning.
Up next: Fixing the Saggy Middle
