Mark Tullius's Blog, page 23

Daddy Daughter Day

When I first started Unlocking the Cage, I only considered bringing my 4 year-old daughter along so I could get in more training. My wife thought that it was a bad idea. Livvie would be bored, I’d be distracted, plus gyms are full of blood, loud music, cussing, and violence. No place for a little girl.

I couldn’t deny some of these things are occasionally present and, at that point, I wasn’t so sure how I felt about the sport, especially for children. My trip around the Midwest changed my attitude as I witnessed several fighters bringing their kids to the gym and talked about it during the interviews. When I went up to the Northwest a month later, I had the chance to watch some kid classes and my time at 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu Burbank convinced me that, not only do I think MMA is great for kids, but I want it for my daughter. (Special post on this soon.)

Although Livvie loved the one class she took at Erik Paulson’s, both of our schedules are too ridiculously busy to commit to regular training. I’ve also had my mother-in-law, aka the best babysitter in town, around lately. The idea of Livvie joining me went on the back burner and didn’t pop up again until last week when my mother-in-law was gone.

With no babysitter, I’m limited to Monday, Wednesday and Friday during school hours to get work done. I thought this would be fine, but when I went to Millennia last Monday, I discovered their heavier guys only trained Tuesdays and Thursdays in the morning. I took a ton of photos during the lightweight workout, seriously impressed with the quality of the training and level of fighters. Both Roberto Vargas and Saad Awad gave great interviews and there was no way I was passing up the chance to train and interview the big boys.

Before I tried convincing the boss of my plan, I cleared it with Livvie. If she didn’t want to go, I wasn’t going to make her. She’s an incredible kid, but I didn’t want to stick either one of us in that kind of situation.

When I asked her, she got pretty excited. I haven’t spent a ton of time teaching her any moves, but she does know how to apply a pretty good rear naked and triangle choke. She’s also been working her kicks and is especially proud of the wrestling stance she learned from her one class at Paulson’s. Telling her that she could bring her workbook and Mommy’s Kindle sealed the deal. My wife’s attitude toward MMA has changed nearly as much as mine and gave us the green light.

When we got to Millennia, I reminded Livvie of how I get nervous before I meet new people, just like she does at school, but I was going to do it anyway. I put her up in the bleachers with her back to the wall so she’d feel safe and reminded her that Brian, my friend who does the majority of camera work and all of the video editing, would be there if she needed anything. She started in on her workbook and said she’d be okay. I wasn’t even sure if she’d be watching.

Practice was tough and I was ready to call it quits before the wrestling began, but there was no way I could do that in front of her. I kept getting out there and got slammed a couple times, one really nice one thanks to Maurice Jackson, a brilliant chess master who I hope to have guest blog soon.

After practice we took a team pic and Livvie didn’t say a word about me getting her soaked with my sweat, something that’d earn screams of disgust anywhere else. Then she came upstairs for the interviews and was thrilled to have her own matted room complete with exercise ball. She went nuts, but managed to keep pretty quiet, an occasional thud here and there and the thump of her little feet, while I got to know Maurice, Joe Merritt and Nick Banks. Just like nearly all of the fighters I talk to, all three guys were awesome and I left there inspired, glad to have met them.

When we got home, we talked a bit about the day, how even though I didn’t spend a lot of time with the fighters I interviewed, I would call them friends. Livvie also got to see how I kept on trying in the workout no matter how tired I got or how many times I was beat. I stressed it’s okay not to be perfect, it’s fun to learn, and great to exercise. No one was trying to hurt anyone else, and everyone left the mat better than when they’d stepped on it.

I wasn’t sure how much of the practice she watched, but she was definitely paying attention. The first thing she did when she saw my wife was run up behind her and plant the sweetest hook right on her butt, elbow up, foot pivoting. “That’s how they were doing it in Daddy’s MMA.”

A Real Doctor

I wrecked my back when I was a senior in high school, the first football game of the season. I can’t recall how they got me off the field, but I remember being in tears trying to slide into the back seat of my mom’s car. There was no sitting or sleeping, the pain too intense, one of the scariest nights of my life. After so much hard work and years of riding the bench, I’d finally become a starter, and there I was unable to move, afraid I’d need surgery just to walk.

That next morning, my Uncle Jerry’s chiropractor came up. I didn’t know anything about chiropractors except for what I’d heard. They were quacks, not real doctors. This was 23 years ago. I’m not sure how much it’s changed.

I trusted my uncle, though, and was willing to try anything. My parents somehow got me back in the car and we made the long drive to La Habra where Dr. Gallagher and his young associate, Dr. Holland, began treating me. Through several adjustments, rehab, and massage, they got me back on my feet. Within a month, I returned to the field and finished the season. I couldn’t have done it without them.

Even after the season was over, I was constantly popping into the office, being treated by Dr. Holland who took over the business when Dr. Gallagher retired. I’m pretty sure I’ve had every bone in my body put back into place, from the highest vertebra and jaw down to my metatarsals and toes. Muay Thai as a teenager, crew at CSULB, football at Mt. SAC and Brown, all the years of MMA, several car and motorcycle accidents. I’ve put my body through hell and Dr. Holland was always there to return it to its natural state.

If it wasn’t for Dr. Holland, Unlocking the Cage wouldn’t have made it past the first week. Jumping back into the world of MMA at 40 after eight years of inactivity is a recipe for disaster, but he’s been there to patch me up and get me back on the mat. The first thought that went through my head after being picked up and body slammed this past Tuesday was that I’d be fine, I’d see Doc in the morning. He’s my safety net that helps get me out there.

But it’s not just the quick fix after the injuries that I’m grateful for. Regular treatment minimizes the subluxations that prevent my body from running as efficiently as possible and has kept me healthy and out of the MD’s office. Besides rarely being sick, I was able to get off the high blood pressure medication I was put on after living in Vegas and not receiving chiropractic care for several years.

I also owe Dr. Holland thanks for all he’s done for family and friends. My parents and siblings, uncles and cousins, and especially my daughter who began adjustments two weeks after she was born. At four years old, she now requests to go to his office, very aware of her body and when she has a rib out. She’s also incredibly healthy and I’m sure the adjustments play a big part.

On top of everything he does as a healer, Doctor Holland’s an incredible person that’s made a huge impact on my life. He’s such a positive person and a true role model. If he isn’t a real doctor, nobody is.

I’d also like to thank two other incredible doctors who treated me on short notice while on the road for Unlocking the Cage.

Dr. Johnston at Wilsonville Chiropractic in Wilsonville, OR, who took care of me after I got whiplash at Team Quest.

Dr. Saulnier at Saulnier Family Chiropractic in Norwood, MA who treated the torn cartilage in my ribs from my roll with Mat Santos.

Both of these doctors worked miracles in one visit and I would have been sidelined and drugged up for weeks without them.

Repackaged Presents

A few months ago, I thought it’d be interesting to go through some of my old stories and put together a few small collections. I’ve written over a hundred short stories, two dozen that were published in magazines, ezines, and anthologies. But even with that many to choose from, it was hard finding any I’d ever want to see the light of day again. I had no idea just how difficult they’d be for me to read.

I was ready to give up on the idea, but thought I’d run it past my editor, Anthony. The guy’s a genius and with his help maybe we could salvage some of the stories. The five pieces that Anthony selected for this collection were previously published in small horror magazines and one ezine.

To Feed an Army

The stories were written at the beginning of my career and I’ve changed tremendously since then, as both a writer and person. There were some things that I liked in them, but Anthony and I agreed they needed a complete overhaul before we could put them out. A couple of the stories aren’t too different from the originals, but others changed significantly. “Shooting Flies” even changed titles (“Drawing Flies.”) We spent much more time on these stories than we anticipated, but I’m happy with the results and had fun revamping them.

Drawing Flies

One of the reasons I wanted to put this collection out was to thank Tom Moran, an editor who saw something in my writing early on and published four of these stories. His kind words did wonders for my confidence and I’ll always remember his support. If you’re into horror and sick illustrations, be sure to check out his publishing house, Gallows Press and Sideshow Press. Just a word of warning for anyone wanting to buy a Black Ink Horror issue; they contain graphic sex, violence, and language. Definitely not for the little ones.

Surviving the Holidays

I plan on adding the PDF and other e-formats to my website so you can download for free, but the one thing I’m lacking right now is time. In the meantime you can buy it from Amazon for $0.99 or get it free on smashwords in all formats by using this code QH35P (Good until 11-22-12) If you pick it up, please do me a big favor and throw a rating or review on Amazon to let others know what you think. Thanks for the support, hope you guys enjoy.

Story time for little Livvie

 

Why I Won’t be Renewing My Disney Annual Pass

For the last four years, I’ve had an annual pass to Disneyland. As a stay-at-home dad, I enjoyed being able to take my daughter during the week, a nice escape for the both of us. Although my daughter may not be too happy about this decision, my wife and I have decided not to renew our passes when they expire.

No, it’s not the hour-long lines, the screaming kids, the ridiculous price of food, the objectification of women, or the increased cost of the pass. It’s because Walt Disney Properties think we’re undesirable. Why would I want to give money to a corporation like that?

And what exactly makes us undesirable? The music we choose to listen to. What a great way to label people. It doesn’t matter that my wife is a successful attorney or I’m an author and try to be a kick ass dad. We listen to Machine Head, a band that Walt Disney Properties has banned from House of Blues venues in both Anaheim and Orlando. Read this article and let me know what you think. Can’t believe this kind of bullshit still goes on.

I got turned on to Machine Head when I saw them back in ’95 and I’ve been a diehard fan ever since. I haven’t missed a tour and my wife’s been right beside me since we’ve met. These guys play some of the most powerful and moving music I’ve heard and their lyrics are brilliant. I used a line from their song “Davidian” to kick off my novel, Brightside, because it fits the book perfectly and I hope to turn others on to their music.

I’ll be at their show at the Hollywood Palladium on the 27th and am glad I don’t have to worry about it being cancelled by some corporate pricks. Label someone undesirable and expect undesirable consequences. The only thing I’m giving Disney from now on is the middle finger. I suggest others that are offended do the same.

And for those of you who think it’s wrong to force this kind of music on a young girl, check out this video and tell me what’s so wrong about it.

 

How I Explained the Number (of KDP free downloads)

In my last two posts, I discussed a change in my perspective, how MMA and friends helped get me back on track. I didn’t mention the other thing going on because I didn’t want to jinx it.

One of our favorite games.

We were driving home from my chiropractor on Wednesday when my four-year-old daughter asked what I was so happy about. Brightside had just passed my first Amazon KDP promo attempt and there was still one more free day left. I told her, “A lot of people have downloaded Daddy’s book.”

“Like Mommy’s Kindle? Swampy and Cut the Rope?”

“Just like that, but they don’t have to pay for it.”

We talked a little bit about it being free and how that could be a good thing. I almost compared Brightside placing as the #1 sci-fi and #2 thriller free eBook to hitting a giant jackpot at Chuckie Cheese and getting all the tickets you could carry. I didn’t though because those tickets have some tangible value and can be traded in, even if it is just for a cheap piece of plastic that’s bound to break. Instead, I said it was like the library. We get twenty books a visit and discover new authors all the time, buying their books from Amazon if we really like them. “There are a lot of books out there,” I said. “This gives people a chance to see if they like what I write.”

“So how many people tried it?”

I didn’t bother telling her a good percentage of those people may never get around to opening the book, and of those that did, there’d be some who might not like Brightside if they hadn’t bothered checking out the first page. But even if that figure was cut down to a quarter, I’d still be thrilled. The number was higher than many first-time authors would see on a print run. “It’s being downloaded once every thirty seconds. We’re at seven thousand.”

Livvie’s pretty good with numbers, especially drawing them backwards, and is doing a great job with math concepts. Magnitude, however, is a tricky one. She knows a hundred is more than ten, but only in theory. What does a hundred look like? What about a thousand, is that more than a gazillion? A kazillion? A bazillion? Yeah, she’s into rhyming too.

We had a fun conversation trying to picture that many people. She’d just finished her musical performance of Oliver at the community theater that held 400 people. Imagining a full theater twenty times gave her a better a sense of the number.

Free for Amazon Prime members to borrow

I helped her out of the car, trying not to let my hopes get too high. The free downloads would help with visibility, word of mouth, and sales, but that wasn’t what was important right then. I believe as writers, most of us are searching for people that can dig our stories, relate to the same type of feelings, let us know we aren’t alone. Maybe a couple of the people who read Brightside will be affected in a positive manner, perhaps it will make a few of their days a little better. That alone is pretty cool and I’ll take it.

Always a cheese ball when it comes to my daughter, I got down on my knee and asked her if she knew the best part about the whole thing. “Every one of those people will get to see the dedication. They’ll read just how much you and Mommy mean to me, how just the thought of you makes me so happy.”

Livvie tried to hold back a grin, but couldn’t. She loves finding her name in print and having it in Brightside just makes it that much better.

Besides the people that have gone out of their way to write reviews and tell friends about Brightside, I’d like to thank the sites that helped with the KDP free days. I hadn’t been aware of them as I never read electronically, but these sites are great and were instrumental with Brightside reaching close to 17,000 downloads in five days.

I found this awesome article which led to the following list of all the blogs that helped promote Brightside.

http://ereadernewstoday.com/ent-free-book-submissions/


http://www.pixelofink.com/


http://www.freebooksy.com/


http://digitalbooktoday.com/


http://authormarketingclub.com/members/submit-your-book/


http://www.daily-free-ebooks.com/


http://www.fkbooksandtips.com/for-authors/






http://blog.booksontheknob.org/


http://www.theereadercafe.com/


http://thefrugalereader.com/


http://www.kindleboards.com/free-book-promo/index.php#form


http://authormarketingclub.com/members/submit-your-book/


http://bargainebookhunter.com/contact-us/


https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dFEyLTFUSHREd05KaVItaDdUUkVVNGc6MA#gid=0


http://freekindlefiction.blogspot.com/p/tell-us-about-free-books.html


http://indiebookoftheday.com/authors/free-on-kindle-listing/


http://www.freebookdude.com/p/list-your-free-book.html


http://awesomegang.com/submit-your-book/


http://bookgoodies.com/contact-us/authors-tell-us-about-your-book/


http://kindlebookpromos.luckycinda.com/?page_id=283


appnewser@mediabistro.com


http://www.kindleboards.com/index.php/topic,97167.2550.html





http://snickslist.com/books/place-ad/


http://www.thekindlebookreview.net/  (I paid $5 to be featured on here)

What It’s All About

In case you didn’t read yesterday’s post, which I admit was ridiculously long, let me sum it up. For the past week, I’d been stressed out over a bunch of stuff, both work and family, and was in a pretty bad place. On Tuesday, although I felt it’d be smarter and way more convenient to do stay home and get some work done, I drove down to Temecula and trained at American Top Team, interviewed three of the fighters. That was awesome and made such a huge difference in my attitude, but there was another reason I figured an all-day excursion was in order. A great friend of mine lived ten minutes from the gym and it’d been way too long since I’d seen him.

I’ve known Rich since he was born, nothing but a broken down fence between our two houses, or at least until they put in a pool and started skinny-dipping. Even though there’s been a chunk of time where we didn’t see each other very often, I’d say I can testify to his character more than any other friend’s. He’s a good dude with a huge heart and right now he’s going through some trying times.

It was great catching up and spending time with his family. His fifteen-month old son was adorable although he cried at the sight of me. Can’t say I blame him. Strong survival instinct in that one. As soon as his older brother, Zach, let him know I was harmless, Brett and I hit it off and he kept bringing me a car so I could chase him. That giggle made my day just that much better and it’s always good to see Zach, one of the first Brightside fans (and hopefully youngest. His parents said he could read it so I blame it on them.) Zach also really liked this post, great to know I share the same sense of humor as a twelve-year-old.

While I was with Rich, dreading my upcoming workout because the monster burrito I had for lunch was threatening to come out one way or another, I got an idea. I thought my friend, Cheyann, might be able to help him. This woman is incredibly busy, her work schedule and family demands similar to mine. She’s directing, producing, and acting in a web series I mentioned in this post. I wrote that before I attended Off and Running’s premiere at Paramount. I was so impressed with the show and proud of what they accomplished. If you like free family-friendly comedy, you should definitely check it out.

Even though I rarely call her, all Cheyann asked was if Rich was a good friend. I said he couldn’t be a better one and she cleared time to meet the next day. Rich made the long drive, Cheyann and I took a break from creating our dreams and had a great meeting . It reminded me how important friendships are and just how cool it is that someone would give up that much of their day simply because I asked them too. That’s pretty awesome. Next time I’m asking for money.

I came home in a great mood around three o’clock and was excited to hear Grandma was going to take my daughter to gymnastics. That meant I could work for three hours, maybe even squeeze in a nap, so I took her up on the offer. I called her back a few minutes later though when I realized my chiropractor was open until six and I’d be able to go there after Livvie’s class. My body could always use an adjustment, especially after a double session of training, but that wasn’t why I wanted to go. There was another friend that I was thinking of. I’d planned on stopping by Friday, Betty’s last day of work, but I never know where I’ll be and if Livvie would be with me. Betty is Livvie’s friend too.

I’m not sure how long Betty’s been the receptionist at Dr. Holland’s but I’m guessing it’s been all of Livvie’s life. My daughter’s been adjusted since she was two weeks old and had no choice to tag along with me every visit. Not surprisingly, the frequency of these visits has increased quite a bit since I started Unlocking the Cage, one of the reasons this project still going.

Livvie’s not always excited to go to Dr. Holland’s because of the drive, but then I remind her of Betty and she gets a little grin and says okay. Every time we get there, Betty’s looking for Livvie, smiling, laughing, listening to Livvie shyly sing a new song or do a dance. She makes my daughter feel great about herself, a talent Betty uses on everyone that walks into that office. She’s such a positive and happy person, a big part of why I always leave with a smile.

Livvie was sad to hear Betty was retiring, but she got excited when I told her what I had planned. She picked out some pretty pink flowers and put her signature next to mine in the first printed copy of Repackaged Presents. Some people might think it’s a little strange to give horror stories to someone, but Betty’s a pretty cool woman that I think will enjoy them.

We all got a lot of hugs that day. Betty balled and I got all teary, and when I talked with Livvie about the happy tears, she said she almost cried too. It was such a great lesson that I hadn’t intended. Letting someone know they’re special and appreciated, thanking them for their kindness. Taking the time to be with family and friends, telling them what they mean to you, making sure know they’re loved instead of assuming they know. That’s what life’s about or at least how I plan on living mine.

What a Difference a Day Makes

Those of you that have just met me in the last few years probably have a much different understanding of who I am than those who’ve known me most of my life. I’ve made some serious changes in the way I view the world and I’m a much happier person because of it. I believe in focusing on the positive and not worrying about the past or present. This last week however was a struggle and Monday I came close to losing it.

There are quite a few reasons why I got so stressed out, but none of them are acceptable. In case you didn’t see this post, my wife and I are expecting another child. I’m excited about it, but the thought of losing new found free time, which is really work time, is a bit of a bummer. What really impacted me was the frustration at my inability to help my wife as she’s struggling through her all-freaking-day sickness. On top of that, I’ve been averaging about five hours of sleep while researching eBook marketing in preparation for Brightside’s free days on Amazon and scheduling reviews. To add to that I was also trying to answer author interviews, write guest posts, watch Unlocking the Cage videos, finalize my new horror short story collection, decide on a cover for 25 Perfect Days, polish those stories, and deal with the disappointment of Brightside’s print edition being once again delayed.

Please don’t think I’m bitching or want sympathy. The above issues are nothing that should have stressed me out and I know an unbelievable number of people who would gladly switch places. I lost sight of this though and put these unrealistic and unnecessary deadlines and expectations on myself. Monday night I was at my wits end, reverting back to the negative prick, smacking my head for being an idiot, disgusted with my inability to get everything done.

After reading Repackaged Presents for the twentieth time and finally uploading it to Amazon at 1 a.m., incorrectly of course because I was in such a bad place, I went to bed, tossing and turning, nightmares of half-eaten faces and knives ripping through bellies. When I woke to my alarm five hours later, I did not want to get out of bed. I’d made a commitment though and wasn’t going to cancel again. Still in a terrible mood, I grabbed all my gear and drove nearly two hours to get to Temecula, time for some more Unlocking the Cage.

Heading to a new gym can cause some anxiety, especially when you’re an out of shape forty-year-old who knows the next hour and a half isn’t going to be pretty. Fortunately, I’d already spent some time talking on the radio with the American Top Team Temecula owner, Fabiano Silva, and knew he was a pretty special individual. Generally, if the owner’s a good person, his fighters will be as well. ATT did not disappoint me.

Just like most of the other 55 gyms I’ve been to in the last five months, everyone at the school went out of their way to welcome me, not because I’m an author, but just because that’s what you do when a new person comes to train. MMA is like a brotherhood, a camaraderie that’s hard to beat. The training was great and got my mind off my problems. When all you’re thinking of is trying not to puke on your partner, other issues don’t cross your mind. When you’re so exhausted all you want is to sit down and sip some water, worrying about how your wife is doing is no longer a priority.

Although I was physically wiped out after the morning session, I was excited the fighters were up for some interviews. It’s always a treat to talk with fighters and I never know what to expect. First up was Kris, the guy bringing it the hardest during stand up.  Turns out he’s a pastor. Yeah, pretty damn interesting. Roberto and Brandon were next, two young men at the start of their careers. All three of them had a different story, but they all had one thing in common: they were genuinely good people. They’d also shed close to three hundred pounds between them, another testament to how MMA changes lives.

I could have spent over an hour talking with each of these guys but kept it short to fit in as many as possible. I had hoped to interview Alexis, a young female fighter who will leave a mark on the sport, and Fabiano but there wasn’t enough time. That’s okay though because I plan on making ATT Temecula a regular stop.

After the interviews, I had lunch with Fabiano, which confirmed that I’d need some serious time to hear his whole story. He’s a great guy and I can understand why his students speak so highly of him. When I returned later that night for another session, I had the pleasure of playing with his son who’s in kindergarten. The little guy’s a handful, full of life and laughter, a sign that his parents shower him with love.

The second workout wasn’t as intense as the first one, but I learned some incredibly practical and efficient moves. I love Fabiano’s teaching style and his approach to training. I’ve never been one to even attempt takedowns, but he taught me some cool shit I can’t wait to try out.

The game plan was to hang out for the third session, but I called it quits after two. I still had an hour and a half drive and my thoughts were back to my family. I made it home just in time to read my daughter her bedtime story and talk about her day. She told me it was pretty good and asked how mine went, if I got too beat up. I showed her there were no bruises and told her the best part, that I’d made some new friends. It’s what I tell her every time I get back from a gym and I really feel like it’s true. Even though I may not spend a lot of time with each of these guys I meet, I do feel a connection. These men and women share a big part of themselves in these interviews and I can’t help but like them. They motivate me, inspire me, make me want to be a better person. And it’s not because they’re fighters. Every one of us has a story. Every one of us has been in pain. If we stop judging and put ourselves in another person’s shoes, it’s so much easier to understand and accept one another.

I stayed up that night for another four hours trying to catch up on my work, but I no longer felt like it was something I had to do. The day made me realize I’m a very fortunate man. I have an incredible family and am meeting positive people every day. I’m refocused on what’s important in life and for that I’m very grateful.

 

The Show Must Go On

Last month I wrote about my wife, daughter, and niece auditioning for roles in our community’s children’s theater performance of Oliver. They had less than ten days of rehearsals, and rarely practiced at home (a nice break for me,)  but said they were ready for opening night this Friday. At least my niece, Bailey, and Olivia were ready. My wife’s been struggling with morning sickness for the last three weeks, her hormones so out of whack she can barely get out of bed unless it’s to run to the bathroom.

Jen’s a trooper though and went to each practice, said she wouldn’t let everyone down. In her eyes it didn’t matter  she was so nauseated that she couldn’t drive herself two minutes to the theater. The show must go on and she wasn’t a quitter. What would the girls think if she wasn’t performing with them? What kind of example would she be setting?

All three girls made it to opening night, although Jen bypassed the limo ride to the red carpet for fear she might splatter it orange. Olivia and Bailey played the cutest little orphans and I couldn’t have been more proud. Bailey’s a talented actress with the biggest expressions while Olivia’s more of a miniature version of myself, her face so serious and movements small and calculated. I was so impressed though and couldn’t get over my shy little girl getting up in front of hundreds. In the last performance, Olivia was buried behind the bigger kids and didn’t have much to do, but in this show, she was right up front, singing and dancing a split-second behind everyone else, but hanging through the whole thing. My cheeks are still a little sore from the giant smile I had plastered on my face.

The girls weren’t in the second half of the play, the part where Jen came in. At home, there’s seldom more than five minutes of silence between dry heaves, and I was afraid she’d be balled up on the stage. I didn’t see how she could pull it off, but she got through the song and nailed all her lines. The night was a success, only eight more to go.

Saturday morning was worse than usual and Jen finally listened to me, told the director she just couldn’t do it. She hated abandoning the cast like that, but there was no way she could have made it. I was more proud of her for making this decision than I was for her sucking it up the night before. She had been so worried about others’ opinions that she was neglecting herself. I think a lot of us are guilty of that. It seems like a noble thing to do, but if we don’t put ourselves first than we are no good to others. The show still went on, both Olivia and Bailey completely understanding her absence. Olivia even said she’s trying out for Beauty and the Beast next month even though Jen won’t be. She’s caught the acting bug and I doubt it’s going away anytime soon. The show will go on, just minus one pregnant mommy who has more important things to deal with right now.

 

Another Unexpected Surprise

One of the coolest things about Unlocking the Cage is how organic the process has been. When I started this thing back in May, I had almost no gyms lined up. I just said to hell with it and flew to the East Coast, hoped I’d be able to find some fighters that wanted to talk with me. Needless to say, I found more than a few, each fighter recommending one of their friends, pointing out gyms that’d be worth seeing. On my second trip to the Northeast back in June, I experienced the same thing and spent time at gyms that a lot of people haven’t heard of. Although I had a great time talking with the big name fighters and visiting the huge gyms, it was my time at the smaller schools that really stuck with me.

One of the gyms that I hadn’t planned on visiting was Youngs MMA. When I was passing through Maine on my way to see Marcus Davis and the hometown of Stephen King, I attended the New England Fights and interviewed Ryan Sanders who trains out of Youngs. I was seriously impressed with Ryan, both his interview and fight, and with his training partner, Bruce Boyington, who had a crushing knockout of a fighter I’d interviewed just days before. It was hard to watch because of that, but incredible nonetheless. Here’s that clip.

A few days after the fight, I made my way up to Youngs and had the pleasure of interviewing Bruce, Ryan (part 2) and Damon Owens, all great guys. I also spent a long time talking with Chris Young and really learned a lot. I enjoyed talking with someone who had similar experiences and fought back when the sport was called NHB. It was also cool to see what a great dad he is and I had fun watching his young son run around the gym, punching and kicking the bags.

Check out his interview, one of the highlights from my time on the road.

 

Too Much Penis Talk

Yep, someone finally called me on it. They enjoyed Brightside, except for it having a bit too much penis talk. I appreciated the honest feedback, someone needed to point out the big pink elephant in the room.

For now, I’ll assume penis talk means sexual language and situations. For the record, there were no “penises” or “cocks” in Brightside, and only ten “dicks,” one of which was a dickhead so I don’t think he should count. So let’s just say overall sexuality.***

I have a hard time discerning how dirty Brightside really is. I know I’m nowhere near Fifty Shades of Grey, but equally as far away from whatever Christian fiction is out there. Before we released Brightside, I hoped it was just the recovering Catholic part of me being too harsh on myself for using naughty words. I was especially concerned that women would be turned off by the main character and his exposed thoughts. I told my mom not to even bother picking up Brightside, she wouldn’t get past the first page.

This April at the LA Times Festival of Books was the first time I shared Brightside with the general public. Although I try not to judge others on appearances, I looked for the people I thought would be less easily offended, the ones who might see themselves as outcasts. If the guy was sleeved up or the girl had a nose-ring I’d simply hand them Brightside and tell them to check it out, I had a feeling that’d dig it. When younger kids came by, I’d ask their age and tell them they’d have to get their parents’ approval before I’d give them a copy. When regular, everyday type people walked by, I’d give them a warning and tell them to check out the first three paragraphs, they’d know immediately whether or not it was for them. And for all of those people who were still dressed in their Sunday best, I simply nodded hello and stayed inside my tent.

The overall reaction from the event helped squash my worries. So did the encouragement and praise of my chiropractor who has been a mentor to me. He’s a devout Mormon with high moral standards and I hesitated to even bring Brightside to his office, let alone have him read it. He surprised me and has told me repeatedly how much he enjoyed it. The same goes for my uncle, a Catholic deacon, who said I didn’t overdo the sex and the violence was believable. He even told me there was some good homily material in it.

After my dad and a few of my aunts gave Brightside a thumbs up, I went back to my mom and said maybe she should take a look at it. She’s read some of my tamer short stories and I could tell she was tempted, but not quite there.

Not long after the electronic version of Brightside was released, I began receiving messages from people that enjoyed it, the majority from women, several around my mom’s age. If other grandmothers could get past the penis talk, maybe there was hope for my mom. I asked her again and could see her trying to work up the nerve. Dead serious, she suggested, “Maybe Dad could black out the parts I might not like.”

I had to laugh. “There wouldn’t be anything left.”

One of these days, I’m hoping she’ll give Brightside a try. That’s part of what these blogs are for, trying to break her in easy to what a dirty little mind I have. For those of you who haven’t read Brightside and want to check it out, it can be borrowed if you’re an Amazon Prime member. It will also be free for two days in the next few weeks, so I encourage you to wait for that and ask your friends to do the same. I’m shooting for over 20,000 downloads and want to get Brightside in front of as many people as possible. Sure there might be a bit too much penis talk for some, but I’m hoping with those kind of numbers I’ll find a solid group of people who like, or at least can relate to it, in their fiction.

*** In case the reader meant plain old potty mouth, that will be discussed in a later post, Too Too Much Penis Talk.