Jonathan Ball's Blog, page 44

Taurus

In the event of

An emergency, don’t call

Me, I will call you

Gemini

Surround yourself with

Flowers and plants—unless you

Fear Swamp Thing, of course

Cancer

You will struggle to

Write a porn parody of

Parliament meetings

Leo

You’d be a better

Boss if you let employees

Bury the fallen

Virgo

The most efficient

Use of your time today is

Hiding evidence

Libra

If you aren’t careful

Snoop Dogg will roll up and smoke

Your magic beanstalk

Scorpio

Breaking away from

Tradition, you will say what

Happened in Vegas

Sagittarius

Treat yourself to some

Ice cream, but avoid flavours

That appear haunted

Capricorn

Science fiction will

Never imagine futures

Stranger than your past

Aquarius

You’ll discover an

Alternative fuel when you

Liquefy wombats