Phillip T. Stephens's Blog: Wind Eggs, page 9
June 14, 2017
The top five reason to serve aliens in restaurants
I received a letter from a reader about alien etiquette. I can’t imagine why. I write about aliens, but I’m not an expert. However, since I write the blog, I felt I really must answer.
Dear Wind Egger:
Ever since the travel ban I thought aliens weren’t allowed in the US, but I see restaurants serving them all the time. I think it’s rude that they’ll serve extraterrestrial aliens, but not aliens from Muslim countries. What do you think? Should restaurants serve aliens?
Jared K., NYC now DC
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Believe it or not, you’ll find restaurants serving aliens in almost every city. (photo Melissa Maninang; alien Piolinfax)
Dear Jared:
After doing some research I discovered that not only do restaurants serve aliens, they should. Aliens are among the most profitable recipes available. Chefs had different reasons for believing this, but the top five were:
They don’t break down in the sauce.
They don’t need refrigeration
They’re a delicacy in the Continental US
They will talk to you while you eat them and
They don’t taste anything like chicken.
June 12, 2017
Smorgasbord Short Story Festival – 9th – 12th June – Trouble with Socks by Mary Smith
Sally Cronin’s Short Story Festival winds down with this short story by Mary Smith (not a pen name) (I don’t think), a story by Robbie and Michael Cheadle, and a closing story by Sally.
Smorgasbord - Variety is the spice of life
The first short story today as part of this celebration is by Mary Smith from her upcoming short story collection due out later this year. We all have trouble with socks, especially when one of a pair goes walkabout. In this story there is a bigger issue than just one missing sock.
Source: Smorgasbord Short Story Festival – 9th – 12th June – Trouble with Socks by Mary Smith
June 11, 2017
Smorgasbord Short Story Festival – 9th – 12th June – Search and Seizure by Phillip T. Stephens
And now my contribution to Sally Cronin’s short story festival.
Smorgasbord - Variety is the spice of life
Delighted to welcome my next guest writer to the short story festival, Phillip T. Stephens with his science fiction contribution with a topical twist.
Search and Seizure by Phillip T. Stephens.
The Jovian Starlines conveyor belt shuttled Faust and Roxanne to the customs counter. The obsequious looking rodent behind the counter held out his hand. “Name?” he squeaked. His whiskers bounced like a see saw when he spoke.
“Roxanne Street,” she said, dropping her HolID into his white-gloved hand. The rat slipped it into the HoloViewer and scanned the data stream cascading down her fully dimensional facsimile.
“What’s that on your shoulder?” he demanded.
“You mean the whip?” Cracked leather strips, braided together in a chord, coiled up her right arm. “It’s an ancient Terran herding device, now worn exclusively for ornamentation.”
The rodent returned her card. “Name?” he asked Faust.
“Goëthe Whip,” cracked Faust, who collected false identities the…
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June 10, 2017
9 Ways To Avoid A Humiliating Public Failure At Your Book Signing Event
Considering a book signing? You don’t want to do an event and have no one show. Or sell no books.
Here’s a hint. Look for opportunities to do others in the area. Dan Alatorre offers even more.
your humble host
You finally worked up the nerve to ask a real, live bookstore to have you sign books at an event!
Okay, you emailed them.
But they replied and now you have a signing event! Woo hoo!
Uh oh…
A real live event.With people.
Or worse, maybe with NO people.
I can hear your heart pounding from here. You’ve heard horror stories about signings. Nobody came. Nobody bought a book…
Yeah , that can happen. IF YOU DON’T PLAN FOR A SUCCESSFUL EVENT.
It can happen even if you DO plan. So what do you do? After all, for the most part you tend to be humiliation-averse.
Good thing I was here!
I have 9 tips for what you need to make your signing a hit, plus some bonus tips for before and after the event, and a few planning/social media suggestions.
The biggest thing to…
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Smorgasbord Short Story Festival – 9th – 12th June – The World Darkly by John W. Howell.
Sally Cronin’s short story festival continues with “The World Darkly” by John Howell.
Smorgasbord - Variety is the spice of life
I am delighted to welcome John Howell to the festival with his short story The World Darkly.
The World Darkly
By John W. Howell © 2017
Frank is cycling on the beach and sees something shining in the sand. He hopes it might be of value, but is disappointed since it is only a pair of sunglasses. He gets off the bike and picks them up. He turns them over and notices they are finely made not like the usual junk people throw away. He finally opens them and on the inside of one of the ear pieces are the words The World Darkly in gold. Must be the slogan, he thinks. Frank looks around to see if anyone has noticed him pick them off the beach. There is only an old couple pretty far away walking in his direction. He wonders if they are coming back to get them…
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June 9, 2017
Re-thinking human evolution… again
Disturbing to some, heresy to others, our thinking on evolution has evolved. (I would like to say “evolved again” but that would be redundant.) If you understand evolution this should come as no surprise, but it may be time to rethink how we treat the other species on this planet. In the meantime, Matthew Wright, shares an update.
I have been fascinated of late with the way our understanding of human evolution has forged ahead in leaps and bounds.
This year alone we’ve discovered that Homo naledi, the previously unknown ‘archaic’ species that was discovered in a South African cave, was still going just 250,000 years ago and – very likely – had the ability to speak. We’ve also found evidence that the ‘Hobbits’ of Flores Island aren’t a diminutive of ‘Java Man’, Homo erectus, but likely descended from a different branch of the human family tree. And there’s the discovery that our own species, Homo sapiens, likely dates back at least 250,000 years.
What all this adds up to is that the old idea of progressive one-thread evolution from ape to man, in which each type was wholly replaced by the next, is right out the window.
Human evolution as ‘progress’, public domain, via…
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Smorgasbord Short Stories Festival – 9th – 12th June – Boy with a Harmonica – France 1943 – by Sheila Williams
Sally Cronin’s short story festival continues with Shiela Williams’ “Boy with a Harmonica”
Smorgasbord - Variety is the spice of life
Boy with a Harmonica – France 1943 – by Sheila WilliamsThey came silently, stealthily down the mountain-side and into the gloom of the forest, pausing and listening before creeping through the soft carpet of leaf mould and pine needles. They were used to the sounds of the forest; the rustle of tiny night creatures in the undergrowth, the gentle step of a deer delicately picking its way through the trees, the murmur of sleepy pigeons roosting in the branches overhead. That night they heard no sounds that did not belong.At the edge of the forest they paused again, three shadows in the night. The woods encircled an ancient stone farmhouse built on a plateau half way up the mountain-side. The smell of wood smoke from its chimney drifted towards them. They waited and watched for the signal.
Source: Smorgasbord Short Stories Festival – 9th – 12th June – Boy with…
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Smorgasbord Short Story Festival – 9th June – 12th June – Albert the Perfect Candidate by Sally Cronin
Sally Cronin is hosting a short story festival all weekend (including a short story by me). Join her for her fist installment, “Albert the Perfect Candidate.”
Smorgasbord - Variety is the spice of life
I am off to the #BloggersBash and making a weekend of it in London including going to see The Mummy and a visit to TGI Friday’s for some Fajitas….probably with a margherita… or two. In the meantime I am going to leave you with some entertainment… I hope you will enjoy and please share the guest authors who have contributed stories.. thanks very much Sally.
Welcome to the start of the Smorgasbord Short Story Festival from today until Monday 12th. We have short stories and poetry from some wonderful writers including John Howell, Robbie Cheadle, Mary Smith, Philip T. Stephens, Wendy Janes and a few more from me from various collections.
Here is one from my first collection Flights of Fancy. Set a little time in the future.. but not by much!
Albert, The Perfect Candidate by Sally Cronin
On Friday night, Albert sat in the white walled room, his…
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HEADS-UP: Call to register and prepare for 100TPC global event and Last call for submissions to the June issue of “The BeZine”
Should writers advocate change? Our writing takes a position whether we realize it or not. Contribute to a global event.
Notice from founders Michael Rothenberg and Terri Carion ~
Dear Friends of 100 Thousand Poets for Change,
It is that time of year again when we begin to sign up organizers and events for the next Global 100 Thousand Poets for Change Day–September 30, 2017. Please let me know if you will be organizing in your town.
Also, as you know, 100 Thousand Poets for Change is a non-profit 501 (c) 3 and we need your donations to keep this movement going strong.
We would be grateful if you would take a moment to make a donation through Paypal at 100 Thousand Poets for Change Donation Link at http://100tpc.org/?page_id=14104 or send a check donation to 100 TPC, Box 2724, Tallahassee, FL 32304, USA.
We need your support so that we can continue to provide a global platform for poets and artists to speak about peace, justice, sustainability, and community.
Now…
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June 8, 2017
So… Cock-up? The Phrase Finder
Derrida makes it clear that many idioms common to one language can’t be translated to others. We can translate the words, but not the meaning. You would think “cock up” isn’t one of those, but that’s only if you’re an English speaker. It may have no more meaning in French than SNAFU in Chinese (even if they both mean relatively the same thing).
Nicholas Rossis introduces readers to Phrase Finder, a wonderful online resource for exploring how many common phrases entered the language.
One of my favorite pastimes is to find out the origins of common sayings or phrases. So, I was thrilled when my author friend Sebastian White (of Quirky Claus fame) alerted me to The Phrase Finder, a wonderful resource for anyone with a passion for English.
In true English fashion, The Phrase Finder explains the meanings and origins of thousands of English idioms, phrases, and sayings such as:
Proverbs – a list of hundreds of the proverbs that give meaning to our language like no other form of expression.
American Idioms – Divided by a common language? Not when you understand the phrases that were born in the USA.
Phrases coined by Shakespeare – He gave us more words and expressions than anyone else.
Nautical phrases – the phrases came from our nautical friends.
Phrases from the Bible – the single book that has given more sayings, idioms, and…
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