Edith Maxwell's Blog, page 132

Ask the Expert: a Publisher's Publicists

As all the Wickeds have at least one series with Kensington Publishing, we’ve worked closely with their two fabulous publicists, Larissa Ackerman and Michelle Addo. I thought I’d invite them over today to share some tips and background with us and our readers!

[image error]Michelle and Larissa with a few cozy mysteries

E: You are book publicists for Kensington Publishing. How did you find the job, how long have you had it, and what qualified you for it?

L: Hi Edith, I just wanted to say thank you so much for having us on The Wickeds blog, you ladies are all such fantastic authors AND a blast to work with! More seriously, though, I was previously at a boutique public relations agency for over five years that focused on book publicity with traditionally published, indie, and self-published authors. One of my first projects at the agency was securing publicity for cozy mystery author Gretchen Archer. Working with her series opened the door into the cozy mystery sub-genre for me. When the position to work exclusively with cozy mysteries opened at Kensington about two years ago, I jumped on it. I hope it’s not too bold to say that the (now) seven plus years of working on publicity and events for cozy mystery authors qualified me for this position!

M: I’ve worked at Kensington since June 2017 and originally found the listing for a Communications Manager on MediaBistro.com, a great resource for people who work in the media industry. Prior to working at Kensington, I worked at various boutique PR agencies in New York (in both Marketing Manager and Publicist roles) and often on books. More specifically, I had a lot of experience coordinating nationwide campaigns, producing events both on and offline, and branding.

E: I know you help the Wickeds with our mysteries. Do you do campaigns for other genres, too? If so, how is that different?

L: I almost exclusively work with our cozy mystery authors at Kensington. However, having campaigned for other genres in the past, I would say that the foundation of a publicity campaign (get media coverage, secure events) is always going to be similar. It’s the people that you are going to approach, and how you are going to approach it (aka the “angles”), that is going to be different.

[image error]Larissa in her Kensington Office

M: Yes! Besides cozy mysteries, I also work on true crime books, select romance, and pretty much every genre under Dafina Books – our African American imprint.

E: What’s your favorite part of the job? Your least favorite?

L: I love all the authors and their books that I get to work with. I get to work with such interesting, friendly, warm, lovely people who are part of a warm, lovely community. Least favorite…My commute from New Jersey!

M: My favorite part of the job is definitely creating and implimenting well-rounded campaigns with all of you authors! It’s really great to work on all the different parts of a book’s lifecycle and see them come together.

[image error]Sherry and Michelle

My least favorite part of the job is having a no-pets office – our building doesn’t allow them unfortunately so we can’t celebrate Bring Your Pet to Work Day.

E: How does your job differ from, say, Kensington’s digital media publicist, or does it overlap?

L: There is some overlap in that we send our events and publicity we’ve secured to her to post about on social. We also will brainstorm with her for ideas with online promotion. But for the most part, our jobs are very different. Your publicist is pitching media outlets for coverage, mailing books to reviewers/bloggers/influencers, writing press releases, setting up events, etc. Our social media manager is creating totally separate promotions entirely for the online space and building our social media communities like Between the Chapters Facebook Group.

M: Primarily in content. The Social Media/Digital Team plans and produces the online content and advertising for our authors, and Communications Managers cover all the Publicity and Marketing.

E: What are your tips for authors working with a publisher’s publicist? Are there things we can do to make your job easier? 

L: If you have any upcoming events or media that you booked yourself, please tell your publicist! This is more vital than a lot of authors realize—basically, it helps your publicist (and the publisher’s sales department) help you. And if you have any media connections (no matter how big or small the outlet is) don’t be afraid to ask to discuss with your publicist the best way to utilize those contacts. We’re all on the same team and want the best possible outcome for you and your books!

M: My biggest tip would be to talk about your book every change you get – tell your friends, tell your social media community, tell your partners, TELL EVERYONE! Provide regular updates and immerse yourself in the very active online cozy community, it’s the best way to spread awareness. Also, make sure to tell your publicist whenever you plan on doing an event!

E: Thanks for those tips! What would you like to know from our non-author readers? What can they do to help make an author’s career a success (other than buy the latest book)?

L: Reviewing books online is extremely helpful, but one of the best things that you can do to help an author successful is to spread the word! If you loved a book, tell your friends and family and colleagues. Word of mouth is one of the oldest and most effective ways of creating buzz and success for a book.

M: I would say non-author readers should also tell their friends about their favorite author’s books! Post reviews whenever you get a chance to and don’t be shy to say hello to an author at an event.

E: Finally, the flash quiz: Pizza or chocolate? Mountains or beach? Movies or live theater? Kindle or paper? Cook or order takeout?

L: Milk chocolate, always. Mountains to hike on. Movies. Paper. A year ago, I would have said takeout, but I’m learning to cook and enjoying it!

M: Chocolate (preferably 70% dark), Beach (but not in the middle of summer – only fall/spring), Movies, Both!, and Cook.

E: Thanks, ladies! Readers – here’s your chance to ask Larissa and Michelle questions.

Just When You Think It’s Not Going to Happen — Guest Shawn Wilson

Sherry here and I can’t tell you how excited I am to introduce you to Shawn! We met about sixteen years ago at the bar at Malice. Publishing a book was a dream for both of us and it didn’t happen overnight for either of us. As the years passed we traded manuscripts, did accountability reports, and saw each other at conferences. I was so thrilled when Shawn got her contract for Relentless.  Here’s Shawn:

Just when you think it’s not going to happen . . .

[image error]My long-time goal was to get traditionally published. Eventually, I came to the conclusion it wasn’t going to happen. I was okay with that. . . well, sort of. I had other creative outlets such as knitting and quilting. And better to hang a quilt on the wall than a rejection letter. Published or not, attending conferences and being around writers was still fun, and I intended to keep doing that.

I come from a small family. One sister. Growing up, we both wished for an older brother but that was impossible. I was fortunate, however, that my cousin Bill turned out to be a good surrogate. He was a year older than me, and when I went to college, I was so excited to brag about my cousin who was a cadet at West Point. Throughout his long military career, we managed to stay close even though we were living in different states or on different continents. Then he was assigned to the Pentagon which made it easy to spend time with him and his family, since I was living in Arlington, Virginia. Lots of good memories from those days and then I moved to Chicago. In April 2017, Bill and his wife visited. While he explored the city, Nancy, a quilter extraordinaire, and I attended the quilt show in suburban Rosemont.

We had a great weekend and never suspected that a few months later, Bill would be diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer.  The prognosis was grim. In October, I cancelled my plans to attend Bouchercon in Toronto and went back to Virginia instead.

A new year arrived and over the next several months, family and friends from all over the country visited Bill. We thought of it as a Farewell Tour in which the celebrity stayed home and the fans traveled. I spent a week with them in June, 2018, and when I left was guardedly optimistic that I would see him again. That changed a few weeks later when Nancy called to let me know his condition was deteriorating. There were two funerals – one in Virginia and the other at West Point.

A month later, Bouchercon 2018 was in St. Petersburg, Florida and I welcomed the opportunity to get away. Ordinarily, attending a conference meant networking and hoping to find an agent or publisher interested in my manuscript. No, not this time – I just wanted to explore a place where I’d never been, visit with friends, and most of all, relax. Little did I know that a conversation over a cup of tea in the hospitality suite would change my life.

It was easy to start talking. Helaine Mario’s name tag indicated she’s from Arlington. As we chatted, she told me about her publisher, Oceanview Publishing, and suggested I attend their presentation. I did, and as the saying goes, the rest is history.

That November, I met Nancy at the huge international quilt show in Houston, Texas. Thinking about hibernating during the approaching Chicago winter, I figured I needed to add to my fabric stash. With a much heavier suitcase, I headed to the airport for the flight home. While waiting to board, I checked my email and based on my initial submission, Oceanview was requesting the full manuscript. A few weeks later, Pat and Bob Gussin called to discuss what would become RELENTLESS. On December 21, 2018, I signed a contract.

It was an extremely cold winter in Chicago, and I spent a lot of time inside in front of the computer, not the sewing machine. But recently I’ve put some of that fabric I mentioned to good use – a baby quilt for my Pilates trainer. She’s thrilled to be pregnant for the first time and she’s 44 years old.

Just when you think it’s not going to happen . . .

QUESTION: Have you had a “just when you think it’s not going to happen” experience?

Here’s a bit about Relentless: Perfect for fans of police procedurals in the style of Harry Bosch

Cherry blossom season is Washington, D.C.’s most beautiful time of the year. But as tourists flock to the city, this year’s festivities are marred by the discovery of the naked body of a young woman floating in the Tidal Basin. Veteran homicide detective Brian (Brick) Kavanagh is assigned to the case. He’s shocked when he learns the victim is connected to another homicide which makes the investigation very personal for him. Brick’s efforts to solve the case are thwarted by departmental politics and a rush to judgment. Convinced that justice has not been served and the wrong person is in jail, Kavanagh risks all to relentlessly pursue the truth. Overlooked evidence ultimately leads to a devastating conclusion in a heartbreaking case.

[image error]Bio: Shawn Wilson is a produced playwright and the debut author of Relentless, a crime novel introducing Homicide Detective Brian “Brick” Kavanagh.  Shawn lived in the Washington, D.C. area for many years but now calls Chicago home. Even though she lives near Wrigley Field, she was very happy to see the Washington Nationals win the World Series.

 

Wicked Wednesday – New Books

News Flash! The Wickeds own Edith Maxwell has been nominated for an Agatha Award for Best Historical Mystery for Charity’s Burden, the 4th book in her Quaker Midwife Mystery series. Please join us in congratulating Edith and all the nominees!

It’s Wicked Wednesday and a brand new year. Other than the Wickeds’ new releases, what new books are you reading, whether they were holiday gifts or just came out?

Edith/Maddie: I just finished Jess Montgomery’s The Hollows – another stunning tale of women in Ohio Appalachia in the 1920s (and she’ll be our guest here at the end of the month!). My historian daughter-in-law gave me California Women and Politics from the Gold Rush to the Great Depression. As a native Californian, I’m delighted and loving the history. And it’s research for a story.

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Jessie: I just finished Big Sky by Kate Atkinson. I love everything she writes but particularly enjoy books featuring private detective, Jackson Brody. In this one he is older but not so very much wiser. As always, it was a wonderfully engrossing, witty story that has stayed with me for days.

Liz: I am reading This Tender Land by William Kent Krueger. Since I’m on deadline it’s taking me longer than I planned, but it’s so good…he’s such a beautiful storyteller and the narrative is so poignant.

Barb: I loved Big Sky and This Tender Land. Master storytellers at work. I’m reading a book I’ve been asked to blurb, so it’s hush-hush. I just finished Alexander McCall Smith’s The Peppermint Tea Chronicles, a part of his 44 Scotland Street series. Bill and I are traveling to Edinburgh in June, so I am gobbling up Edinburgh settings.

Sherry: Jessie, I recently read Case Histories by Kate Atkinson and I can’t wait to read more. I’m reading Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator by Gary Noesner. It’s really interesting. Part of it is how hostage negotiating teams formed in the 80s.

Julie: I just read Sealed Off by one Barbara Ross. I’m currently reading Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts by Kate Racculia. I’m Kate Atkinson fan as well–will add Big Sky to my list!

Readers: What’s new on your TBR stack – or your lap?

Opening Lines

Add your opening lines for this photograph.

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Barb: The leaves rustled with each foot fall and cold water wicked up the legs of my jeans. I chanted as I ran, to keep my pace, to keep from screaming, “I have to get away. I have to get away. I have to get away.”

Edith/Maddie: My pounding heart couldn’t drown out his footsteps thudding ever louder on the boardwalk above the marsh. What a time for my hip to go out!

Jessie: This was the fifth body of water Miranda had considered and it still wasn’t quite what she was looking for. Why was it so hard to find just the right place to stage a drowning accident?

Sherry: Memories of what I’d done here, what I buried here drew me back again and again.

Julie: The sneakers peeking up from beneath the pile of leaves cut into the idyllic New England scene.

Readers: Add your opening lines!

Bargains Galore

Jessie: In New Hampshire where the snow is thick upon the ground and the furnace is working overtime.

New Englanders are known for being a thrifty sort. Up here there is a real sense of glee that comes from acquiring things at a discount. I don’t know where it started or why it persists but is a very common trait. My own family is no exception. I have to admit to adoring sales on in season fruit, clearance rack cashmere sweaters and even real estate purchases made during economic downturns.

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As a bargain hunting enthusiast who is also an avid reader I have always taken particular delight in the offerings of any library to which I have had access. From those in the school systems when I was a child to the public one next door to my house to the vast array of online books through our local library consortium I have glutted myself on the vast array of books for available to borrow.

And now, there is another book bargains temptation in my orbit: BookBub. I have been slow to take advantage of this one but since I first took a peek I have made some fun purchases. I love that I discover new to me authors as well as books I have missed by favorite writers. I am really pleased that they bargains for a variety of e-readers so those readers who like to support independent bookstores through Kobo purchases are not always left out.

They have also started offering audiobooks on sale through their Chirp platform. I love that it doesn’t require a monthly membership so I can pick and choose only if there is an audiobook that really interests me. It is a new feature and has already has some great choices like the great historical mystery, A Dangerous Engagement by Ashley Weaver.

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I love to follow authors whose work I enjoy on BookBub, partly because I get to see what they are recommending as great reads. I also hear about their latest releases and, of course, great deals on their books.

If you would like to follow me on BookBub, just click the link to find out more. Happy bargain hunting!

Readers, do you love a great deal, on books or anything else for that matter? Is your family thrifty? Writers, do you have a BookBub presence? Do you post what you read there?

A Wicked Welcome to Clea Simon! & a book giveaway!

I’m delighted to welcome Clea Simon back to the blog! For folks in the Boston/Somerville area, Clea and I will be on a panel along with Kate Flora and Joanna Schaffhausen on January 27 at 7pm at Porter Square Books. We hope you’ll join us! Welcome Clea!

Writing cats



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“The naming of cats is a difficult matter.” So wrote T.S. Eliot, to which I’d like to add, “the writing of cats can be tricky, too.” No, that line isn’t likely to make it into the next film version of Cats, assuming there is one. But it does hold true for us cozy writers, especially in the case of my witch cats of Cambridge books, which feature three quite distinct feline personalities.

First, there’s Clara. A calico and the youngest of her litter, she’s also the point-of-view character for much of my new An Incantation of Cats and its predecessor, A Spell of Murder.  Picked on, albeit affectionately, by her older sisters, she’s the most straightforward and possibly most loyal of the bunch, always looking out for Becca, their wayward human. Clara (aka, “the clown,” to her sisters) worries the most about Becca’s belief in magic – and about her siblings’ rather nonchalant approach to their own powers. Because, yes, Becca may think she’s a witch, but it is really her pets who have the magic.

[image error]Thisbe, Feline Consultant 

Because Clara has such a big role, she can be tricky to write. She needs to be very active and relatable, in human terms. But writing her, I was always aware how important it is to keep her a cat. True to her feline nature, she needs to gather most of her information through scents and sounds. In addition, she has to have short bursts of energy, followed by naps. And while it may be useful to have a character who drops out of the action regularly to bathe, it can also be a challenge to insert a small domestic animal in crucial scenes, even a magical one.

More difficult, however, was the writing of Laurel and Harriet, Clara’s siblings. These cats, one marmalade and the other with throwback Siamese coloring, are, frankly, somewhat more self-involved than Clara – more stereotypically cats. That should make them simpler, right? Laurel, after all, is vain and craves attention, while Harriet cares most about comfort and food. But both these felines are ongoing major players in Becca’s life (as well as Clara’s), and so I needed to make them sympathetic, all the while staying true to their basic personalities. Plus, as this is the second book in the series, they both needed to grow – just enough to keep them interesting. It wouldn’t do to resolve all the sibling rivalry between these littermates, not when I hope the series has a while to run.

[image error]Thisbe, deep in thought 

This is a puzzle any writer faces, of course. We must make our characters real, flaws and all, and yet build sympathy and understanding for them as they grow and change. But in a cozy, a less-than-pleasant character must toe a fine line between unlikable and unrealistically redeemed. The key, for me, has been to focus on those traits I share – Laurel’s issues with appearance, for example, or Harriet’s love of indulgence. The hope is that if I can relate even to these bratty cats, my readers will too. Then, of course, I needed to translate those traits into cat, which involved many hours of feline observation. Hard work indeed!

Readers, what traits do you notice in your pets? How do they show you their personality? As a writer of cats, I’m eager to hear. Let me know in the comments. I’m giving away a signed copy of An Incantation of Cats to one commenter–US only please!

Here are some ways to buy the book: Indie Bound, Amazon, Barnes and Noble

Bio:



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The author of more than two dozen cozy/amateur sleuth mysteries featuring cats, three nonfiction books, and one punk rock urban noir, World Enough (a Massachusetts Book Award “must read”), Clea Simon lives in Somerville, Massachusetts, with her husband and one cat. She can be reached at www.cleasimon.com.

“Simon expertly casts suspicion on one member of her tiny human cast after another … for readers who want all cats, all the time.” – Kirkus Reviews

About the Book:



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When two new clients seek Becca’s professional services, the fledgling witch detective is overjoyed. Finally, she can use her skills to help her magical community. But as the young witch finds the new cases intertwining, things grow more complicated. Becca’s three cats – the ones with the real power – can smell something is wrong with these clients. But not even Clara, the calico, knows what to do when a man ends up dead and a powerful and poisonous root appears – and disappears – in the case. To make matters worse, Clara and her littermates are feuding – and she can’t tell them about an unsettling interaction she’s had with one of the client’s sisters. Is it possible that some humans may have the same powers as the magical felines? What does that mean for Clara’s beloved Becca – and for the potent poison that has already taken one person’s life? In this second Witch Cats of Cambridge mystery, Clara and her sisters must learn to work together if they are to save the person they all love.

DIGGING UP THE REMAINS Cover Reveal!

By Julie, suffering weather whiplash in Somerville

Drum roll, please! Garden Squad #3 is ready to take its bow.

Digging Up the Remains will be released on August 25! I’m actually working on the copyedits now, and I can’t wait for folks to read it. I’ve set the story around Halloween and the Goosebush Fall Festival. Here’s the blurb:

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A festive fall is in full swing in Goosebush, Massachusetts, but when a snoopy reporter is felled by foul play, it’s up to Lilly and her Garden Squad to spook out a killer . . .

Between hosting a haunted house on her lawn, serving on the town’s 400th Anniversary Planning Committee, and prepping for the Fall Festival’s 10k fundraiser, Lilly’s hands are full. She doesn’t have time for prickly newspaper reporter Tyler Crane, who’s been creeping around town, looking for dirt on Goosebush’s most notable families . . . until he’s found dead on the race route moments before the start.
 
An unfortunate accident? Or did Tyler unearth a secret that someone in Goosebush is willing to kill to keep? By planting nasty rumors and cultivating fear, Tyler sowed a fair share of ill will during his brief time in town. Weeding through the suspects will be thorny, but Lilly and her Garden Squad are determined to root out the autumnal assassin before the Fall Festival flops . . .

A bit more about the book. There’s a kitten adoption added to the mix. Honestly, I can’t believe there hasn’t been a cat in the series so far. Not sure what I was thinking!

I love writing this series, and am so grateful for the reader support of Lilly Jayne and the rest of the Garden Squad. The book is up for preorder now!

To celebrate Book #3, I’d love to give away a copy of Book #1, Pruning the Dead, which was released a year ago this month! Readers, let me know in the comments what’s on your To-Be-Read pile this month!

Wicked Wednesday: Resolving

This is the time of year when some people resolve to make a change in their lives. Wickeds, what resolution might one of your characters make for the new year? And what are their chances of keeping to it, perhaps a more interesting question!

[image error]1915 postcard from Wikimedia Commons

Edith: Occasionally Quaker Rose Carroll tells a white lie in the service of tracking down a murderer. She always feels guilty about not following Friends’ principle of integrity, so she might resolve to change that in the coming year. On the other hand…the pursuit of truth and justice is an even stronger lure for her, so no guarantees on whether she’ll stick to her resolution or not!

Jessie: That is such an interesting character trait, Edith! I don’t think any of my characters have too much concern about bending the truth in pursuit of justice. In fact, some of them rather enjoy shading the truth! Beryl is not really one for thinking she needs to change much about herself so I rather suspect she will not make any resolutions. Unless she is resolving to get her friend, Edwina, to try more new things! Edwina does like to improve herself and has decided she wishes to become a better motorist.

Liz: So everyone else has resolved to stay off the road when Edwina is around then, Jessie?

Guest-Elizabeth Penney

Jessie: Enjoying the post holiday season and all the promise of a new year!

I have corresponded with Liz Penney off and on for some time through social media, email and as a frequent commenter on this blog. But, as so often happens in our world today, hadn’t met her in person until she surprised the Wickeds by attending an event we appeared at White Birch Books in North Conway, NH. It was lovely to get to do so and is at least as nice to have her here as a guest today! Take it away, Liz!

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Cozy Winter Comfort Food

Here we are in the heart of winter, with temps dipping into single digits while snow drifts deep and wind whistles around the eaves.

At least that’s the weather where I live, in the heart of the White Mountains, in close proximity to some of the world’s worst weather. On top of nearby Mount Washington, a wind record of 234 miles per hour was set back in 1934. Even on a clear, calm day, which is rare, conditions on this tallest peak in the Northeast can kill an unwary hiker. Yikes.

In my fictional world of Blueberry Cove, Maine, winter has also set in, with ice creeping across the harbor and snow frosting the pine trees along the shore. It’s the perfect time of year to make a big pot of something comforting and curl up with a book by the fire while it simmers.

Comfort food is a key ingredient in the Apron Shop Mysteries, no matter the time of year. In my view, delicious food and drink and a lot of it, is one of the best aspects of the genre. What fun would a cozy mystery be if the characters were on a diet or were picky eaters?

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For my book menus, I’m drawing inspiration from a classic cookbook, Cooking Down Eastby Marjorie Standish, published in 1969. Margery gathered this collection from cooks all around Maine for her column in the Maine Sunday Telegram. As a result, she preserved Maine food traditions and culture dated back generations. Along with classic seafood dishes, baked beans, and chowders, she included recipes for fiddlehead ferns, dandelion greens, venison, and pheasant.

Many dishes she features are thrifty, hearty meals that don’t cost a lot to prepare. For this post, I prepared one of those, a corn chowder inspired by Marjorie’s recipe. I made a few changes to suit my taste and you can do the same.

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Corn Chowder

3 slices bacon

½ cup diced onion

¼ cup diced red pepper

2 cups diced potato

1 14.75 oz. can of creamed corn

1 teas. salt

¼ teas. pepper

2 cups water

2 cups milk (I used whole)

Dice the bacon into small pieces and cook slowly in a large heavy pan. Once the bacon is browned, remove from the pan and place on a paper towel to drain. 

Sauté the onion and pepper in the bacon fat until softened. Add the potato, two cups of water, and salt and pepper and cover. Simmer until potatoes are soft. 

Add the creamed corn, milk, and bacon pieces and heat slowly over low heat. Serve in a big bowl accompanied with hot bread and butter. Tastes even better the next day.

Readers, now it’s your turn. Tell us about your favorite winter comfort food. If it’s a family favorite or a traditional dish, even better.

About Elizabeth Penney

Elizabeth lives in New Hampshire’s frozen north where she pens mysteries and tries to grow things. She’s the author of the Apron Shop Series, with book one, Hems and Homicide, available now, as well as numerous titles for Annie’s Fiction and Guideposts. 

Key West Scene

by Barb, on a double deadline

Hi folks–

The second Mrs. Darrowfield, Jane Darrowfield and the Madwoman Next Door, is due January 15, and the ninth Maine Clambake Mystery, Shucked Apart, is due February 15. Things are a little crazy around here.

So, for your bloggy pleasure, I’m bringing you a rerun of a post from the Maine Crime Writers last year, a typical Key West scene.

Time: 3:00 AM. A beautiful night in Key West. The windows are wide open. Somewhere on the front porch of one of the five townhouses in our little complex…

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Bang, bang, bang, bang. “Let me in!”

(pause)

Bang, bang, bang, bang. “Let me in!”

(pause)

Bang, bang, bang, bang. “Let me in!”

(pause)

(from a second story window) “Use the front door code.”

“I don’t have it. Come down and let me in!”

“No! Let yourself in. I’m texting you the code.”

(pause)

Bang, bang, bang, bang. “Let me in!”

“No! Use the code.”

“I doesn’t work.” Bang, bang, bang, bang. “Come down here and let me in!”

“You did it wrong. Try again.”

(pause)

“It still doesn’t work.” Bang, bang, bang, bang. “Come down here and let me in!”

“I’m in bed!”

“I don’t care!”

“I’m naked.”

“I don’t care!”

“I am not alone.”

“I don’t care!  Get down here and let me in.”

“I’m texting the code again.”

(pause)

“Still not working.” Bang, bang, bang, bang. “Get your ass down here and let me in!”

“I am down. I’m standing on the front porch. I don’t see you.”

“What do you mean you don’t see me? I am standing right here.”

Together: “Ohhhh. Wrong house.”

Aaaand scene.