Beckie Butcher's Blog: beckiesworld.com, page 3

It Has Been A Very Long Time!

Hello, everybody! I am so sorry it has been so long, but, as I said in my last post in April, a lot of bad things were happening, including the sudden passing of member of a dear friends’ family. I had a lot on my plate I could not handle at the time. Since January, it has been nothing but extremely high stress levels for me. I could hardly handle my own life, much less reach out to others to inspire them and help make their lives better. I had nothing to even give myself. Now, things are beginning to look up and things are getting back on track.

A lot of hardships came my way. I had a very sick cat on my hands along with big vet bills. It seemed like I was just getting out from under that when I started having car trouble. My car sounded like an airplane taking off and I couldn’t get going when I noticed it was running hot. I pulled over on a side street and called my cousin who owns an auto repair shop who told me to let it cool down for twenty minutes and slowly drive it back home. As it turned out, there was a small crack in the hose and there was a slow leak. The long and short of it, another big bill. Bless his heart, he worked on it night and day and did the best he could price wise and with a family discount. I was literally in the hole financially and, although it is not like me, I had to swallow my pride and ask for help. That was hard, as I had always been strong and independent and able to take care of myself. However, desperate times called for desperate measures. We all have to survive. It was nobodys’ fault, just bad timing and bad luck. A few days later, I got a phone call from a good friend saying her son had passed away suddenly. I was close to him at one time and had thought of him as a son myself. It was so hard to watch my friend suffer through this.

After that,there came more vet bills. This cat had been my salvation and had helped me to survive many hard times in my life, and I did everything I could to try and save him, but that wasn’t meant to be. On May 6th, his precious little life ended. Sick as he was, he managed to jump into my lap and snuggle on my chest. I cradled him in my arms for several hours. I wrapped him in his favorite towel and placed him comfortably in his little carrier, a favorite place of his for napping. Later that night, he passed away quietly.

The rest of my story has to do with a possible move because there were issues with my property, and I thought possibly selling would be best. Guess what? That didn’t work out either. Long story short, I was better off staying put.

I was angry all over again. I was very angry, until my neighbor, bless her heart, challenged me to listen to K LOVE, a Christian radio station, for thirty days. I gave her an adamant, “NO! I’m too angry!” She, however, would have none of that. So, that I did. I accepted her challenge. I cried and cried at first as the anger and darkness purged from my heart. The more I cried and released, the more my heart was filled with love and peace. However, I never could quite understand the adage God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. After everything I had been through, DAY after DAY for six months, that was one thing I still had major issues with and was still angry about. I would ask Him how He could love us so much and want us to have happy lives but still allow so much stress and so many bad things to happen. What kind of a God was He to allow such hardships in the world. So many of us are suffering and stressed out to the point it is affecting our physical and mental well being. Then, yesterday, I was listening and one of the morning hosts was talking about this and how it pertained to his own life right now. He said this is not true, because if we didn’t have more than we could handle sometimes, we would not need God. Then he mentioned what the Bible says in John 16:33 about how Jesus said we will have trouble in this world, but the good news is I have overcome the world. That is our peace.

Yes! I am now liberated from bondage! I always felt so constrained by the statement God doesn’t give us anymore than we can handle. I feel as though I have been freed from a prison sentence. It was life changing for me. It changed my entire outlook. It changed my whole day. Bad things do happen in this world, and it is ok to be angry and feel overwhelmed by what happens. I now feel free to feel, and I don’t need to question anymore. Jesus overcame the world, and He will help us overcome our problems as well.

As for the outcome of all this, I was led to stay put in my house rather than move. I had an experience I learned from, and this is what God told me to do; it is where He wants me. I have been freed from guilt of being angry over hardships, and, last but not least, and CERTAINLY the best thing of all, God brought another cat into my life. The long and short of it, she needed me as much as I needed her. We both needed rescuing, and, thanks to some wonderful Christian friends who understood what animals mean to me, I was able to adopt with their help. Why all of this took six months to happen, I don’t know. I will never know. Only God knows. All that matters is I arrived where I am today, stronger than ever, and once again able to share with and inspire others. If God was able to get me through all of this, He will certainly get me through the days of CFS/FM. He’ll do that for you, too.

Thank you all and have a wonderful week!
Love & Hugs,
Beckie.

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Apologies…

Hello, my dear friends!

I missed posting last week, and I apologize for that. I have been under a great deal of stress due to a big financial hardship, and I have been busy trying to recover my losses. Once again, I beg your forgiveness as I need time to do what I have to do in the next couple weeks. I am in the middle of a severe flare up, and I need to rest. There has also been a sudden passing of a friend. I am truly sorry. I will be back in a few weeks. I hope you understand. Thank you.

Love you,

Beckie.

A Third High Stress Week…..But I’m still Here!

Well, hello, everybody! As my entry title says, another high stress week…but I’m still here!

Ok, let’s see; last week and the week before, I had a cat so sick, I thought I was going to lose him. He relapsed and relapsed and, finally, he’s seems pretty normal. Last week, I had a serious car problem which led to a serious financial hardship, which led to panic. I was in an impossible financial position. I was in tears not knowing what I was going to do or how I was going to survive. Of course, this did my CFS/FM no good, but, guess what? Once again, The Lord gave me what I needed to get through all of this. He led me to the people and places He knew would help me and would care about me, once again reinforcing what I have always been taught; God is there whether you think so or not. You may not feel his presence at the time, as the devil does his best to prevent it, but, who always wins out in the end? Why, God of course!

I once read in book of devotionals how everything that happens during the day is meant for us. He does this for our good because they are opportunities for us to put our faith in Him. We are to turn our days over to Him and trust Him. Well, I had many questions regarding this during these past few weeks. I would ask Him as well as plead with Him, ” How can this be good for me? What good can possibly come out of all this stress; all this fear, all this panic, not to mention a poor little animal who never hurt anybody suffering so? How, God, how is this a good thing? Why are you doing this to me and to this poor, innocent creature who has been my comfort and my salvation through all the hard times in my life?”
Well, He not only got me through this rough time by giving me His Peace and leading me to things, places, and people I needed, but He brought my little salvation through it, too. He is no longer suffering. He is doing much better and is once again being my little buddy.

I trusted God. He gave me no choice. I prayed and I prayed hard, because that was all I could do. I did everything I possibly could as a human. God did what only He could do.

I thought of something a couple of nights ago as I was watching one of my favorite programs. So I asked Him, “Is this a lesson in humility? Is this what you are trying to teach me? Are you trying to teach me I am supposed to be trusting you instead of solving things my way?” Funny thing is, I always thought I was humble. I always had compassion for people who had it hard in their lives. I always gave when I could, and I always tried to help physically when I could.

The truth the matter is, you can’t completely understand or relate until you have been there yourself. Yeah, I think that is the lesson here. What God wanted from me was to understand these things more than on, “some level”. He wanted me to experience it first hand so I can understand it on the level where others are.

Anyway, enough surmising. The point is, God was by my side helping me through all the physical demands the high stress level put on my body. He helped me through the impossible financial position all of this put me in by leading me where I needed to go. Then, I was able to rest as needed and let my body heal. All in all, I wasn’t as bad off physically as I thought I would be. Ahhh….thanks be to God!

Well, those are my thoughts for this week.
Have a wonderful week and I will, “talk” to you next week.
Love & hugs,
Beckie

battlecfs.wordpress.com
http://beckiebutcherwrites.com

youtube.com/watch?v=Y0aEcnleBOE

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The Best Compliment I Ever Got.

What was the best compliment you’ve received?

It was when an old boyfriend told me I was a forever girl. I never forgot him. He died several years ago, shortly after my mother.

Happy Friday!

Yeah, I know, I’m a little late again, but, as is how it goes sometimes, another HORRIBLE week.

Anyway…..
This has been a seventeen year journey for me, and throughout this journey, I have often wondered, is this fair? How can this be fair to anybody? How can this be good for anybody? Someone once told me, God is fair and just; how is this kind of suffering fair and just? I’m not just talking about myself, I am talking about anyone who suffers greatly. Justice? What kind of justice is suffering? I don’t know. I have no idea; nobody does. But, there are times when I need and want answers, and when I don’t get them, I become frustrated and angry. This is where I am right now. I try to focus on other things when this happens, but sometimes I need to focus on myself. I feel it’s only fair to have that time for myself and my own needs, too. It’s not good to quash and ignore your own feelings. You need to process your feelings and your loss as well, and, as I have written before, it is a loss. It’s a loss of yourself and who you are compared to who you once were. I want that person back, and she will never be back again. The Beckie I once was is gone, and I miss her terribly. That’s ok; that’s normal. That’s called grief, and sometimes you need to do that.

I was talking to a dear friend of mine of Monday; well, actually texting. He said something about a mutual friend of ours who is experiencing difficulty right now, and he mentioned taking things one day at a time. When I think about how long this has been going on and wonder how did I ever manage to get here, that is the answer. I got here one day at a time. the days have been many, but I am here, in the present, which is where I belong.

Well, that’s about it for now.
Take care, and have a wonderful week, everybody!

Beckie

battlecfs.wordpress.com
http://beckiebutcherwrites.com

youtube.com/watch?v=Y0aEcnleBOE

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Activities I lose Myself In….

What activities do you lose yourself in?

Anything creative like writing or cooking.

Sorry To Be Tardy….

Hi, everybody!
I hope you have been well. Me, not so much. I have had an absolutely horrible week which is why I did not post this week. I am very sorry. Today is pretty much a, “down” day for me as well, so let me just wish you well and I will return this Thursday as always. Love and hugs to all! Hang in there!

Beckie

battlecfs.wordpress.com
http://beckiebutcherwrites.com

youtube.com/watch?v=Y0aEcnleBOE

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Who Would I like To Be….

If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?

I can’t imagine being anyone else but me. I’ve taken myself everywhere for as long as I can remember, I can’t imagine having to do that with somebody else, lol.

Hello and Happy Leap Day!

Good morning, everyone! At least, it’s morning where I am. I hope you all had a happy week.

I was reminded of something I have not thought about in a very long time this week. It’s about what well meaning people say to people who are going through hard times such as the loss of a loved one or, in my case as well as many others, the diagnosis of an illness.

So many have said to me over the years, “Well, things could be much worse,” or, “You’re a lot better off than most people,” or, ” You need to focus on the future!” Not ONE of these phrases is a wise or a kind thing to say. Although well meaning, it cuts people off when they need to talk through their trauma, and even the diagnosis of a disease is a trauma. They have just been told there is something wrong with them. Even if it isn’t a life threatening diagnosis, it is hard to hear. None of us like being told there is something wrong with us. It raises concerns, it causes worries, and, in some way, it changes their lives. They are never quite the same. These phrases shut people down, and the subject often changes, leaving their need to talk and be heard in the dust. Please, think about that for a second and think about how it might make you feel.

Then, the medical advice starts. Things are said such as,” Well, I read an article on this, and what you need is…” or, ” I read a lot….”

Let me explain the problem behind all of this.

“Well, things could be much worse.” Well, things could be much better, too. Even if what is said is correct, it may be the incorrect thing to say; in fact, it usually is. It is not about what could have been, it is about what is, and that’s where people need to be met, in the present.

“You’re a lot better off than most people.” Other people are not the point. This is about the person who is suffering and their situation. This is devaluing; it is minimizing where the person is in their place. People need to be met in their place and their individual needs need to be met.

“You need to focus on the future!” All in good time. Let people work through where they are in their trauma, and don’t rush them. People need to be allowed to work through their situation without being rushed and without the pressure to move forward in their lives. Their future will fall into place. After all, that’s where the future is. It’s THEN, not NOW. There’s plenty of time for that.

As for advice givers.

Please remember you are not medical professionals. Some of what you may advise may be harmful. If you don’t have a medical background, you don’t understand what you are reading. What you have to remember here is most articles only focus on one aspect of an illness. When doctors diagnose their patients, they are looking at pieces of a puzzle. A full battery of tests is ordered, and they look at the whole picture before they make a diagnosis. Someone who simply, “reads a lot”, is lacking vital pieces of information which are necessary to prescribe treatment. Besides, doctors have read a lot, too. So did I was I was studying to be a Lab Technician. Having ran and reported these tests, I can tell you one thing. There are results which have to match; the pieces have to fit in a way which makes scientific sense.

For example, a patient who is in kidney failure, also known as renal failure, not only has abnormal kidney function tests, but they are also anemic. This is because the kidneys secrete a hormone which signals the bone marrow to produce red cells. So, if there is no anemia present in the patients’ blood count, it must be further investigated and the tests re-ran. The results don’t match.

Please, be careful, even if you are coming from a good place. Let the medical advice come from the doctors.

Thank you and have a wonderful week!
Beckie

battlecfs.wordpress.com
http://beckiebutcherwrites.com

youtube.com/watch?v=Y0aEcnleBOE

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Spring is in the Air!

Hi, everybody! I hope you were all well this past week. I was with the exception of Monday. I overdid it on Sunday, because there certain things which needed to be done, and I was feeling well enough to do them. The only problem is, when I feel that way, I think I have more energy than I really do, and I wind up thinking I am Superwoman. So, of course, I wind up miserable. Oh well, I’ve learned it’s just one day out of many. Some of getting through this crazy disease is your mind set. It’s only one day. If you have more good days than bad days, then it’s only one day.

I have no wise words from devotionals I read this past week, only my own thoughts. There is a lot to look forward to for me this time of year, namely, the beginning of pre-season baseball. Yep, the Cubs play their first Spring training game tomorrow afternoon. This time of year gives me so much hope. The weather starts getting nicer, Spring is near, and, for the most part, Winter is over. Winter, of course, is the worst time of the year for me. It’s the cold, bone chilling humidity which causes the excruciating pain which really gets the best of me. Now, with the beginning of baseball, I turn my thoughts from the cold and the suffering which comes with it to soon being able to open the front door and let the fresh air and sunshine God created in the house while listening to the cheering of the crowds at Wrigley Field. There’s something so soothing about that for me. Everything seems so much more relaxed; people are enjoying themselves. You can hear it. It has a calming effect on me. The weather is much more enjoyable; the fresh air is cleansing to me, making The CFS/FM is better. Yes, I am looking forward to the coming days when Spring turns into Summer and the days are longer. My mind set changes as well as my entire outlook. God made these days for us to enjoy, so relax and enjoy them. They are gifts from God. That is why He created them, so don’t waste them!

Well, that’s all for now. Perhaps this isn’t my best blogging, but it is what is on my mind, and I wanted to share it with you.

Have a wonderful week!
Beckie

battlecfs.wordpress.com
http://beckiebutcherwrites.com

youtube.com/watch?v=Y0aEcnleBOE

#cfs #cfsisreal #cfsawareness #cfswarrior #beckiebutcher
#beckiesbattle #beckieoffershope #chronicfatiguesyndrome #wordprompts